FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Spelling - is it that big a deal
Spelling - is it that big a deal
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So over the last few weeks I've seen an increasing number of people posting statuses or adding to their profile that if you can't spell brilliantly or confuse their/there etc not to message them!
Now I know text language or slang may be a different matter, but for those who may just not have great writing skills or could be dislexic for example why an earth would that make you not want to engage with them and potentially meet?
They could be funny, kind, good looking, great in bed, good chat etc etc. Luckily I have had a good education however not everyone is as fortunate. Hopefully people keep that in mind. |
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"It isn't for me as long as I can understand the message. Any spelling errors i make i blame on auto carrot xx"
Exactly, if you can understand then I don't see the problem as I say. Haha good one! X |
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Spelling is irrelevant. Like you say, people could be dyslexic, autocorrect could be playing up or people could be using their phones without their reading glasses (an error I have made more than once).
Context of status posts and messages however are not.
For example, there is a big difference between messaging:
"U luck like an intsting cpl"
and
"I'm going to smash your wife's back doors in and make you watch".
Guess which one gets blocked and which one does not?
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I used to be extremely picky about spelling and grammar but I realised that it can come easier to some than other so was better not to judge. Also, as long as I can understand what they mean, it doesn't really matter  |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
Dislexic or not, it's good practice.
And I'm quoting a good friend with dyslexia on that one. I actually had a conversation with them about this not too long ago.
Spelling mistakes happen, especially thanks to typos, and the speed some people type. I've fallen foul to it plenty of times. The consistency of the mistakes, that is more important, you can tell the difference between dyslexia and somebody who just doesn't give a fuck over a few messages.
It's about effort and care in what you are saying, take the time to say it correctly, word it correctly, and present it correctly.
Especially if it's a first message, read it over a few times. |
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In the end people have to make judgements about whether they will click.
No one does a 360 degree analysis of each individual on this site.
People know the general trends that attract them to others and categorise (or judge) people based on those features.
Spelling is not likely to be a sexual attraction feature in itself, but it is probably used as a proxy for something else.
Socio-economic status
Good conversationalist
Or other things
But it is a relatively quick and simple way to try and focus their energies on the type of people who they feel they will click with best.
I see it as no different to someone saying gym bunnies only etc.
There could be a stunning, average weight guy on here 
Who they would have a fantastic time with, but they have found through experience that the odds are they click more often with guys or gals who have a six pack.
You can only do what gives you the best odds of meeting someone you desire, it will be different criteria for different folk. |
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There are plenty of people that actually struggle with spelling for a number of reasons and there are plenty of people who's primary language is not English. Picking on their spelling, or ignoring them because of it just seems rude tbh.
Also, everyone makes mistakes (I make loads on this bloody phone, and it drives me crazy we can't edit or posts), so we should be more forgiving of those.
As long as the person gets their message across it doesn't bother me.
I think many people use good spelling and grammar as a sign of intelligence which is why it matters to them. I'm attracted to intelligence, but I get that from what they are writing rather than how they have written it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's an old skool thing that spelling and grammar has to be perfect. Typos can be really amusing especially auto correct (mine changes 'cunt' to 'aunt')"
And not the other way around? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are plenty of people that actually struggle with spelling for a number of reasons and there are plenty of people who's primary language is not English. Picking on their spelling, or ignoring them because of it just seems rude tbh.
Also, everyone makes mistakes (I make loads on this bloody phone, and it drives me crazy we can't edit or posts), so we should be more forgiving of those.
As long as the person gets their message across it doesn't bother me.
I think many people use good spelling and grammar as a sign of intelligence which is why it matters to them. I'm attracted to intelligence, but I get that from what they are writing rather than how they have written it. "
Pretty much on the same wavelength as you.
It is annoying but I wouldn't make any assumptions based on it without soeaking to them etc. I wouldn't give it much importance in case of dyslexia or whatever the case may be. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spelling mistakes happen, especially thanks to typos, and the speed some people type. I've fallen foul to it plenty of times. The consistency of the mistakes, that is more important, you can tell the difference between dyslexia and somebody who just doesn't give a fuck over a few messages.
It's about effort and care in what you are saying, take the time to say it correctly, word it correctly, and present it correctly.
Especially if it's a first message, read it over a few times."
We're on the same page dude. I don't judge or think any less of spelling mistakes or poor grammar, it's a swingers site not an english class (although I do shudder at 'should of'), but none the less I do my damndest to write properly ...sometimes missing the 'moment' of a thread too busy checking the dictionary!  |
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It's weirdly a turn off for both of us. I think it's because if you don't spell properly then it sends a subliminal message that you're only interested in trying to get a quick response out of 100+ profiles. |
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"I think it's an old skool thing that spelling and grammar has to be perfect. Typos can be really amusing especially auto correct (mine changes 'cunt' to 'aunt')
And not the other way around? "
Now you mention it, I haven't heard from Cunty Sue for a while |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Auto INcorrect, the bane of my life yet my thumb typing is atrocious and would take me ages to type out without that auto-fill feature.
Spelling isn’t such a big issue for me. What they say matters far more. |
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Glad to see that the majority seem to have a similar view to me.
English not being their first language is also a good point which I never made. So many people in Britain can't speak a foreign language, myself included, so I'll never judge a few mistakes when I couldn't string a sentence together.
I do appreciate if people look like they are just writing as fast as they can so they can message as many people as possible then that's a turn off.
In terms of intelligence though, you can be extremely smart and clever, and still not have great spelling/grammar. Could be a genius with numbers instead for example.
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Glad to see that the majority seem to have a similar view to me.
English not being their first language is also a good point which I never made. So many people in Britain can't speak a foreign language, myself included, so I'll never judge a few mistakes when I couldn't string a sentence together.
I do appreciate if people look like they are just writing as fast as they can so they can message as many people as possible then that's a turn off.
In terms of intelligence though, you can be extremely smart and clever, and still not have great spelling/grammar. Could be a genius with numbers instead for example.
"
To be fair a hell of a lot of English 2nd language people spell and speak better than 1st language English people these days.
Which again brings is back to what I say above, you can tell the difference between dyslexia/none native and just pre lazy lacking effort spelling/native text speak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There’s a big difference between text speak, and spelling/grammar issues.
The first drives me mad, the second, well, you don’t know why, there may be a reason…. |
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"Dislexic or not, it's good practice.
And I'm quoting a good friend with dyslexia on that one. I actually had a conversation with them about this not too long ago.
Spelling mistakes happen, especially thanks to typos, and the speed some people type. I've fallen foul to it plenty of times. The consistency of the mistakes, that is more important, you can tell the difference between dyslexia and somebody who just doesn't give a fuck over a few messages.
It's about effort and care in what you are saying, take the time to say it correctly, word it correctly, and present it correctly.
Especially if it's a first message, read it over a few times."
Yes i agree with this. I know there are forum users who are badly dyslexic but i can usually figure out what they are saying. On the whole they have very interesting things to add so would much rather their contribution with the errors.
But i am a former teacher so i do notice all the mistakes and if I'm in a bad mood may delete a poorly spelt message. I wouldn't ever put it as my status though even in my worst mood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The wonderful thing about English is it's all in the context.
'There dogs went their.' is still understandable.
I will never pick someone up on grammar/spelling (I have a niece who spells phonetically because of learning difficulties) unless a spelling mistake makes what they have said unintentionally funny.
I am more likely to respond to a contextually interesting message with spelling/grammar errors than a perfectly written 'standard' message.
I also never use autocorrect so all mistakes I make are my own.
I will very rarely delete a post if it contains mistakes or do another post pointing out what the word should be (unless there is some humour in it). I don't think anyone really needs to do that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'll overlook the odd typo and grammar klutz but not an overall lazy message. If somebody's made an effort to say something meaningful they get my attention.
Hey or wanna fck doesn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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should never judge others you dont know ...
i left school with nothing one of the naughty girls who thought i was cool to play up ...
i ran my own business for 12 years did all my own books and accounts that crashed with the financial crash so i re trained did loads of uni course's ..
im now in a job where im the boss i have 7 managers below me i deal with drs health professionals nhs and lots and lots of other people n trades why am i saying this well my spelling is at times is terrible ..does that make me thick or stupid or unfuckable dont think so |
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