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Serious question
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What chocolate would you use as a weapon?
My mate says Galaxy Minstrels cos of the hard shell. I say no way, they go in my gob and would never be lobbed at someone.
I'd happily chuck a kingsize mars bar. Wouldn't miss it and if it hit the target.....   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Toblerone!
The big, massive ones!
Can be used as a club or sword, has defined edges and if broken over the head of someone and therefore no further use as a 'bashing' or 'lunging' weapon - can be broken up into pointy 'chocolate ninja throwing stars'!!!
Well - triangles anyway!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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id go toblerone too.. apparently triangles are stronger in formation than squares or blocks,, so im hoping from that theory id get a harder impact and would be less likely to break on me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A king size Mars Bar, Snickers or Double Decker that has been in the fridge would be a good 'stun' tactic if thrown at someones temple.
Not that I have thought about this of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id go toblerone too.. apparently triangles are stronger in formation than squares or blocks,, so im hoping from that theory id get a harder impact and would be less likely to break on me "
or maybe just some chocolate sauce squirted over your tits
i think that's what the americans term a 'shock and awe' tactic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I go for a combined effect of chocolate doggy drops sewn into a pair of underpants and a starving Rottweiler....
However for any pacifists out there,,, ,I guess you could just give someone the chocolate finger…
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id go toblerone too.. apparently triangles are stronger in formation than squares or blocks,, so im hoping from that theory id get a harder impact and would be less likely to break on me
or maybe just some chocolate sauce squirted over your tits
i think that's what the americans term a 'shock and awe' tactic "
lol i have this sudden urge to call you 'buffy' pmsl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a psychological weapon! Tie them to a chair so that they can't move, and then just dangle naked chocolate in front of them so that they can almost taste it - but not quite... Then watch them slowly go mad....
Oooohhhh - pure evil...!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How about setting a lion on em stand back and snickers, then collect the bounty on their head and go and celebrations  "
someone's been thinking hard ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A chocolate orange.
A frozen one.. that gotta hurt...
In a sock!"
Can just see Ray Winstone with one of those!!
"It's not fucking yours - it's Terry's!!" |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"A chocolate orange.
A frozen one.. that gotta hurt..."
In the end of a sock......better than a medieval mace......or 2 frozen chocolate oranges each in the leg of a pair of American Tan tights, better than a Bolas....and if you hit View with American Tan tights, the fashion faux pas would probably kill him off |
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Frozen maltesers, scatter them on the floor, watch your opponent slip slide and ride, then once they are in a twisted heap on the floor you can take full advantage of them, please and tease them back to health or restrain them so they don't bother anyone else  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A chocolate orange.
A frozen one.. that gotta hurt...
In a sock!
Can just see Ray Winstone with one of those!!
"It's not fucking yours - it's Terry's!!" "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil
Then nibbled off when it sets"
me thinks u wouldnt get to be nibbling it off - u would be in hospital trying their cuisine through a straw lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can't say for certain but I am sure if they still made Fiveboys Chocolate (last sold in 1967.....  ) Perky would defo find a way to use five boys....
Okay, who'd like to be the five....... ?
(Oh I am soooo dead!!!)
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"Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil
Then nibbled off when it sets
me thinks u wouldnt get to be nibbling it off - u would be in hospital trying their cuisine through a straw lol "
I meant to destroy the evidence |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can't say for certain but I am sure if they still made Fiveboys Chocolate (last sold in 1967..... ) Perky would defo find a way to use five boys....
Okay, who'd like to be the five....... ?
(Oh I am soooo dead!!!)
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cooking chocolate poured over like boiling oil
Then nibbled off when it sets
me thinks u wouldnt get to be nibbling it off - u would be in hospital trying their cuisine through a straw lol
I meant to destroy the evidence"
it was the boiling bit that put ya in hospital lol |
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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago
the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands |
"Not quite sure you are grasping this one Minxie
u know me a pacifist lol and full of fun  "
until you get your hands on the paddles and whips, fuck! the welts and red marks are only just beginning to heal and fade |
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"Not quite sure you are grasping this one Minxie
u know me a pacifist lol and full of fun
until you get your hands on the paddles and whips, fuck! the welts and red marks are only just beginning to heal and fade "
It's always the quiet ones |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
hmmmm I'd say a toffee crisp that has been in the fridge for a while, whack em over the head with it, then maybe force feed them so all their teeth break off so no dental records
oh hang on, people unconscious can't chew things can they? damn it!
maybe give them the frozen toffee crisp to eat so all their teeth fall out, then use someone's big tolberone to whack em with  |
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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago
Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria |
"Enough chocolate liqueurs should kill anything, "
My late Grandma didn't drink at all and once got half cut off a box of chocolate liquers, it was sooooo funny to listen to her slurring her words, think I was only about 8 or 9 at the time so would be just on **coughs** 30 years ago |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Enough chocolate liqueurs should kill anything,
My late Grandma didn't drink at all and once got half cut off a box of chocolate liquers, it was sooooo funny to listen to her slurring her words, think I was only about 8 or 9 at the time so would be just on **coughs** 30 years ago"
I get pissed off one liqueur.
I think death-by-toblerone is the way to go, closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.
Toffee crisp to rip out their teeth is a nice touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.
"
frozen chocolate orange and u would make a hole in the floor damn just wanna kill the person not destroy the surroundings at the same time |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.
frozen chocolate orange and u would make a hole in the floor damn just wanna kill the person not destroy the surroundings at the same time"
Sounds like you've tried it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"closely followed by frozen chocolate orange.
frozen chocolate orange and u would make a hole in the floor damn just wanna kill the person not destroy the surroundings at the same time
Sounds like you've tried it "
may or may not have accidently dropped a chocolate orange onto my mums glass garden table lol |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge
This is sooo true  "
The trick is not to try and bite a triangle off - break or cut. But now I am going to wonder about just keeping a toblerone in the fridge in case visitors think I mean to kill them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge
This is sooo true
The trick is not to try and bite a triangle off - break or cut. But now I am going to wonder about just keeping a toblerone in the fridge in case visitors think I mean to kill them."
They'll only know the secret of the toblerone if they've read this thread!  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Women who say childbirth is painful have obviously never eaten a toblerone straight from the fridge
This is sooo true
The trick is not to try and bite a triangle off - break or cut. But now I am going to wonder about just keeping a toblerone in the fridge in case visitors think I mean to kill them.
They'll only know the secret of the toblerone if they've read this thread! "
Good job I don't accommodate anymore. But I will be advising all of my family and friends to keep a large toblerone in the fridge in case of intruders. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ha ha to all the choccy weaponry...im quite new to the forums but gotta say i have the best laughs before work in the mornings reading through some of the most random amusing questions posted |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"ha ha to all the choccy weaponry...im quite new to the forums but gotta say i have the best laughs before work in the mornings reading through some of the most random amusing questions posted "
Welcome and enjoy. Did you bring chocolates? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was horrified at the total waste of chocolate in this thread!! we should make love, not war....
now we need a chocolate weapon amnesty and I'm just the girl to hand them into!!
now form an orderly queue folks!!!
*Om nom nom* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"any girls tried a toblerone as an alternative to anal beads "
I've joked (ahem) about shoving one up my ex's arse... and the noise I reckon it'd make
barrrrrup brrroooop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those little chocolate drops for rabbits. they are a lethal weapon, made me ill for hours after stealing em out the kitchen as a kid lol "
Those weren't chocolate drops.
Or raisins.
The rabbits got there first!! |
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