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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I moved into an annex attached to my landlords house a few months back.
His a mature older gent. Single.
Anyway we had dinner a few times. He enjoys cooking and don’t like eating on his own.
Also saves me cooking
Anyway one night we had a few drinks and ended up in bed. It’s been a regular thing for a couple of months now.
We have dinner. Watch a film and end up in bed.
Even if no drink involved.
For an older guy his an amazing lover.
Anyway. Should I ask for a rent reduction. As I don’t sleep in my part of the house anymore ?/
Joking aside should I knock it on the head and how ?/ |
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By *nSeeNMan
over a year ago
Z'ha'dum |
"Why do you want to?
Yeah, why would you if you're both happy?
How old is he? Xx
His 65.
Worried about people judging.
"
Dont worry about other peoples judgements, their not paying your bills or putting a roof over your head you are. Do what makes you happy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do you want to?
Yeah, why would you if you're both happy?
How old is he? Xx
His 65.
Worried about people judging.
"
That thought had held me back so much wished I would have came out my shell sooner
But as I got older I found who cares what others think
If your happy and injoying the sex then who cares what others think
Would thought make a point to sit down and talk with him
Ie it’s just sex a bit off fun or do you want more best to set ground rules
So if say you bring another guy round at some point he dosent get jellos or anything or think it’s anything more than sex |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Why do you want to?
Yeah, why would you if you're both happy?
How old is he? Xx
His 65.
Worried about people judging.
"
Why worry about people judging? Says more about them than you if they do.
If you're both happy with the arrangement then I really don't see why you shouldn't just continue as you are.
If you're not happy however, time for an open and honest chat with him, but be aware it may get awkward, not that that should be a reason not to stop if you're not happy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I would like it to be more than just sex.
He said that too but then he don’t show it.
If his family / children come over I’m back in my side of the house and he speaks to me like his tenant.
I’ve said about going out together socially and excuses are made.
I don’t think his ashamed just sees it as a sexual thing only. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would like it to be more than just sex.
He said that too but then he don’t show it.
If his family / children come over I’m back in my side of the house and he speaks to me like his tenant.
I’ve said about going out together socially and excuses are made.
I don’t think his ashamed just sees it as a sexual thing only. "
You just need to talk to him. The only way to find out is communication. It’s scary, but better to know.
If other judge, let them, that’s their issue not yours.
|
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Forget people judging, that's shouldn't even be a consideration.
You're going to have to have the what are we doing here chat.
Tell him you want more and aren't happy with it just being a sex thing. So either he's up for that or you'll just stay in your annexe.
Then it's up to him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Laughing at this! As a landlord I've been offered payment in kind on a couple of occasions. The answer I give is that I occasionally get fed up, but never hard up."
I’ve never offered him
Payment in kind.
It was a tongue in cheek comment |
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"I moved into an annex attached to my landlords house a few months back.
His a mature older gent. Single.
Anyway we had dinner a few times. He enjoys cooking and don’t like eating on his own.
Also saves me cooking
Anyway one night we had a few drinks and ended up in bed. It’s been a regular thing for a couple of months now.
We have dinner. Watch a film and end up in bed.
Even if no drink involved.
For an older guy his an amazing lover.
Anyway. Should I ask for a rent reduction. As I don’t sleep in my part of the house anymore ?/
Joking aside should I knock it on the head and how ?/"
Aslong as your enjoying yourself why would you want too  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think he should put your rent up now your eating all food too lol"
I do contribute towards the food. When we are eating together I will stop at the supermarket and buy items and have been known to make the dessert. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Truthfully, I'd judge more about the risky position you've potentially got into with your living situation if anything goes south.
Worry more than judge, if you were my friend
"
This from me too. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Either you or he works fast. You've found a place to stay during covid where single guy is open to fucking their boarder.
It has moved from a landlord/tenant relationship and settling in a few months ago, to having dinners, shopping for meals, to fucking, thinking about what his family will think and finding out what each other wants out of it - now considering long term future relationships.
This is either fantasy or you need to put the pans away. |
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"Either you or he works fast. You've found a place to stay during covid where single guy is open to fucking their boarder.
It has moved from a landlord/tenant relationship and settling in a few months ago, to having dinners, shopping for meals, to fucking, thinking about what his family will think and finding out what each other wants out of it - now considering long term future relationships.
This is either fantasy or you need to put the pans away. "
Or you need to be less judgy |
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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago
Between a cock and a soft place |
"I would like it to be more than just sex.
He said that too but then he don’t show it.
If his family / children come over I’m back in my side of the house and he speaks to me like his tenant.
I’ve said about going out together socially and excuses are made.
I don’t think his ashamed just sees it as a sexual thing only. "
He may not be ashamed, just wary of being judged by others.
Just as you are.......
Time for a talk, away from "home" if possible. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Either you or he works fast. You've found a place to stay during covid where single guy is open to fucking their boarder.
It has moved from a landlord/tenant relationship and settling in a few months ago, to having dinners, shopping for meals, to fucking, thinking about what his family will think and finding out what each other wants out of it - now considering long term future relationships.
This is either fantasy or you need to put the pans away.
Or you need to be less judgy"
At 65, I'd think vanilla blokes don't mix business and pleasure. either one would have to be pretty forward or very d*unk to start something that could get so messy in such a short period of time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Either you or he works fast. You've found a place to stay during covid where single guy is open to fucking their boarder.
It has moved from a landlord/tenant relationship and settling in a few months ago, to having dinners, shopping for meals, to fucking, thinking about what his family will think and finding out what each other wants out of it - now considering long term future relationships.
This is either fantasy or you need to put the pans away. "
We are both single.
The day I moved I’m he cooked me a welcome meal.
Nothing happened for a few weeks. Just flirting before it was taken further.
|
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"Either you or he works fast. You've found a place to stay during covid where single guy is open to fucking their boarder.
It has moved from a landlord/tenant relationship and settling in a few months ago, to having dinners, shopping for meals, to fucking, thinking about what his family will think and finding out what each other wants out of it - now considering long term future relationships.
This is either fantasy or you need to put the pans away.
Or you need to be less judgy
At 65, I'd think vanilla blokes don't mix business and pleasure. either one would have to be pretty forward or very d*unk to start something that could get so messy in such a short period of time. "
Really?! You don't think some older men like to abuse their position in order to get sex?!  OK then  |
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Op I can't see the problem.
You have a place to stay.
You have a guy who is a good fuck and you like him but with no strings.
Seems your making it more complicated than it needs to be.
Just go with it and see how it develops, he's not that much older than you.
Or
Tell him you want to keep it professional and don't go round his for drinks.
Or
Move.
Pretty simple |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"Either you or he works fast. You've found a place to stay during covid where single guy is open to fucking their boarder.
It has moved from a landlord/tenant relationship and settling in a few months ago, to having dinners, shopping for meals, to fucking, thinking about what his family will think and finding out what each other wants out of it - now considering long term future relationships.
This is either fantasy or you need to put the pans away.
Or you need to be less judgy
At 65, I'd think vanilla blokes don't mix business and pleasure. either one would have to be pretty forward or very d*unk to start something that could get so messy in such a short period of time.
Really?! You don't think some older men like to abuse their position in order to get sex?! OK then "
Or women wanting a discount on rent, maybe wanting a sugar daddy? It's got nothing to do with abuse of power, they are apparently fucking each other as fb's. Sort of like swinging, only the swinger wants more. |
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This sounds like a bit of a nightmare to me.
Feels like he groomed you. Did he advertise for a male tenant?
The massive problem is that the relationship is unequal and on his terms and also that this is your home (and his)
Far too close for comfort.
He clearly doesn't want what you want. The fact that you are relegated to tenant when his family are around means you aren't his partner or his equal but it sounds as though you want to be.
Are you happy OP?
|
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You shouldnt have mixed tennant with lover and you can lose big time.
if you stop now you could face eviction.
at moment hes getting his cake and eating it whilst your paying for it.
your no longer a tennant but a lover and shouldnt be paying rent anymore.
more so if your paying for food |
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"This sounds like a bit of a nightmare to me.
Feels like he groomed you. Did he advertise for a male tenant?
The massive problem is that the relationship is unequal and on his terms and also that this is your home (and his)
Far too close for comfort.
He clearly doesn't want what you want. The fact that you are relegated to tenant when his family are around means you aren't his partner or his equal but it sounds as though you want to be.
Are you happy OP?
"
Groomed is a bit of an extreme thing to say.
Sounds like she is a very willing party.
Throwing accusations like groomed is a bit irresponsible. |
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"
Groomed is a bit of an extreme thing to say.
Sounds like she is a very willing party.
Throwing accusations like groomed is a bit irresponsible."
Fair enough.
It sounds as though he preyed on someone vulnerable and under his power.. made approaches under the guise of dinner.
It sounds sinister.
I stick by grooming.
I'm ok with being labeled irresponsible for my opinion.
It won't change it.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I didn’t start a sexual relationship with him to reduce the rent or live rent free.
He loves cooking and wants to share. I do my bit by contributing towards the food.
I haven’t been groomed. Early on I was and still am attracted to him. There is a joint attraction to each other. I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.
I didn’t plan to have feelings for you him. It just happened.
|
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Why do you want to?
Yeah, why would you if you're both happy?
How old is he? Xx
His 65.
Worried about people judging.
"
Who cares what others think? You’re the one knobbing him not them! So long as you are happy then carry on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Grandad got a fuck for a "Cooked Meal"...was it beans on toast ??  "
Oh wow !! How rude.
His not old enough to be my grandad and we have enjoyed some great meals. |
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Laughing at this! As a landlord I've been offered payment in kind on a couple of occasions. The answer I give is that I occasionally get fed up, but never hard up.
Face it you're a twat landlord, what an awful thing to say to a potential tenant ... yeah, you are hard up ffs... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn’t start a sexual relationship with him to reduce the rent or live rent free.
He loves cooking and wants to share. I do my bit by contributing towards the food.
I haven’t been groomed. Early on I was and still am attracted to him. There is a joint attraction to each other. I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to do.
I didn’t plan to have feelings for you him. It just happened.
"
Man and woman meet and get on. Spend time together.
Doesnt sound such a terrible thing does it if you take all the unnecessary details out.
Just enjoy for as long as it is enjoyable. As soon as it isnt it is an easy enough situation to get out of. |
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Op perhaps the whole thing with his family might be down to a few factors but maybe he feels that they may be angry at him having a relationship regardless of who she is and her age, I am making the assumption that he's possibly divorced or a widower?
Maybe he's just taking his time.
Perhaps he's been hurt before and doesn't want anything too serious.
Just play it cool and a bit aloof.
|
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I think as long as it works for you both continue. Your single and its sounds like just your classic regular Netflix n chill type scenario. For many this
Is a great arrangement when single and alone. The only problem is this type of arrangements tend to have a shelf life. Someone gets bored of it or pursues a change in direction etc. Obviously no big deal normally in such a casual arrangement. But he is your landlord and thus possibly has the ability to make life difficult. Now it's to late because your already in. So I say enjoy, hope for the best when it stops but also make sure you have a plan B and C to protect yourself should he become troublesome or your place there untenable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
About 7 years ago i had to move out.
Went on a rent a room site
Gone to check one out the woman was single about 20 years older than me.
£130 pw all bill in.
So we was talking and she was really nice about an hour in the convo she was telling me she split up with her husband because they had a lodger and she had enccounted with number of times.
She continued on saying that anytime I feel lonely and I need to unwind her bedroom door is always open.
For day she would message telling me what she wanted to do full on details.
Sometimes with pics.
I didnt rent the room as it would have made things very complicated.
And she continued messaging me for about a year. Lucky escape I think. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Op perhaps the whole thing with his family might be down to a few factors but maybe he feels that they may be angry at him having a relationship regardless of who she is and her age, I am making the assumption that he's possibly divorced or a widower?
Maybe he's just taking his time.
Perhaps he's been hurt before and doesn't want anything too serious.
Just play it cool and a bit aloof.
"
His divorced. Was married 30 years.
They split up 5 years ago
Two kids in 20s.
Not had a serious relationship since. A couple of girl friends that he met through work. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"About 7 years ago i had to move out.
Went on a rent a room site
Gone to check one out the woman was single about 20 years older than me.
£130 pw all bill in.
So we was talking and she was really nice about an hour in the convo she was telling me she split up with her husband because they had a lodger and she had enccounted with number of times.
She continued on saying that anytime I feel lonely and I need to unwind her bedroom door is always open.
For day she would message telling me what she wanted to do full on details.
Sometimes with pics.
I didnt rent the room as it would have made things very complicated.
And she continued messaging me for about a year. Lucky escape I think."
.
We had meals together and watched movies before it progressed
One night we had dinner. Had a few drinks and was watching a film and sitting together on the sofa. It started with a cuddle and then ended up being in bed together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A 17 year age gap is of no consequence. If you enjoy his company and you're enjoying your life, keep doing it. On my death bed, I would rather have regrets for doing something rather than doing nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Grandad got a fuck for a "Cooked Meal"...was it beans on toast ??
Oh wow !! How rude.
His not old enough to be my grandad and we have enjoyed some great meals. "
Yeah that's me ...I'd of told you to bring me a pot Noodle and be prepared for the best 2 mins ever  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So. I will update
Decided to move out as didn’t want to have a relationship with a landlord.
We are now dating.
You're on here just to keep things spicy? "
To chat to old friends and yes we have discussed inviting another person into the bed in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So. I will update
Decided to move out as didn’t want to have a relationship with a landlord.
We are now dating. well done V ...it's nice to hear about a good relationship flourishing "
Thank you.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Update on relationship.
He had now told his family about us and the relationship is going well.
We still spend times having lovely meals and just chilling together if neither of us are working.
|
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"Update on relationship.
He had now told his family about us and the relationship is going well.
We still spend times having lovely meals and just chilling together if neither of us are working.
"
aww that's great  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So today. I said those 3 little words.
No response. Wasn’t sure what response I would have got anyway.
He left for work without a good bye.
Fuck !
What to do. Play it cool and forget that I said it. ?
I’m going back to my own home before he gets home. So do I wait for him to contact me.
Sorry not had many serious relationships.
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By *ermite12ukMan
over a year ago
Solihull and Brentwood |
Maybe cook him his favourite meal when he returns, and use your womanly charms on him?
Blokes can be a little inept, baseing this on myself, and may either have misheard you. Or, needed time to mull over his response.
Sure things will work out for you though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So today. I said those 3 little words.
No response. Wasn’t sure what response I would have got anyway.
He left for work without a good bye.
Fuck !
What to do. Play it cool and forget that I said it. ?
I’m going back to my own home before he gets home. So do I wait for him to contact me.
Sorry not had many serious relationships.
"
Don’t play games. Open and honest communication. |
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"So today. I said those 3 little words.
No response. Wasn’t sure what response I would have got anyway.
He left for work without a good bye.
Fuck !
What to do. Play it cool and forget that I said it. ?
I’m going back to my own home before he gets home. So do I wait for him to contact me.
Sorry not had many serious relationships.
"
Saying I love you can be a bit of a shock to some and maybe he'd not even thought about it, so he's thinking about it now. Some people never say the words, but how they act is much more important.
I would assume that if you've told him that you love him then you actually mean it... well in my mind it shouldn't matter if he gives a response, love is unconditional.
Cal |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I think you should start paying more as it sounds like u got added value
An a lot more bang for ur buck …!!!
Plus it probably why ur rent ain gone up ?? "
I moved out as soon as we started dating |
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