FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I a dumbass
Am I a dumbass
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Been chatting to a member on here (and on Whatsapp) for over two years, general conversation and the obvious flirts with intentions of meeting (even to her offering to come stay for a weekend).
So just to paint a picture of this all being one sided it hasn't been. We are not 100s of miles away, in fact its 30 miles.
Now, I have noticed recently that her veris have been stacking up and today was a new veri from a guy who lives 40 miles away that she only started chatting to, and met yesterday.
Now...am I a dumbass for pursuing or a dumbass for believing intentions might of been real?
Over to you lot to call me a dumbass |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
The only one you can clarity from is the person you've been chatting to..
How about suggesting a social. Its her buisness to see who she wants, it doesn't mean youre a dumbass.
Go for it. You're not a dumbass at all. Just be clear youd love to meet and see what comes back.
Otherwise you'll make up stories but never know |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"The only one you can clarity from is the person you've been chatting to..
How about suggesting a social. Its her buisness to see who she wants, it doesn't mean youre a dumbass.
Go for it. You're not a dumbass at all. Just be clear youd love to meet and see what comes back.
Otherwise you'll make up stories but never know "
Tried that, I get the excuse of being "vanilla busy" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What's to say her intentions to meet you aren't real?
Also did you ask her out right if she had only recently started talking to this guy, or assuming it from his Veri?"
Oh he's made it clear in black and white in his veri that chatting and meeting happened same day |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you’ve not asked her to meet up then I’d say yes you are."
Over two years mate I've asked numerous times...not sure why everyone seems to think I haven't. OK perhaps I missed that off my original post. Apologies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What's to say her intentions to meet you aren't real?
Also did you ask her out right if she had only recently started talking to this guy, or assuming it from his Veri?
Oh he's made it clear in black and white in his veri that chatting and meeting happened same day"
So I'm guessing she's going to see this and maybe be a bit annoyed you brought it to forum instead of just asking her if she's intersted in meeting you ... you don't own her just because your chatting and she owes you nothing just because your chatting x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The only one you can clarity from is the person you've been chatting to..
How about suggesting a social. Its her buisness to see who she wants, it doesn't mean youre a dumbass.
Go for it. You're not a dumbass at all. Just be clear youd love to meet and see what comes back.
Otherwise you'll make up stories but never know
Tried that, I get the excuse of being "vanilla busy""
Doesn’t look like it’s going to happen then, unfortunately.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry but after 2 years I’d say she likes chatting to you but doesn’t want to meet! "
They why not be honest about it instead of weaving excuses?
Thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What's to say her intentions to meet you aren't real?
Also did you ask her out right if she had only recently started talking to this guy, or assuming it from his Veri?
Oh he's made it clear in black and white in his veri that chatting and meeting happened same day"
Well I think that makes it a little easier to swallow tbf. We've all had spur of the moment meets right?!
I have a FWB who's 40 odd miles away, and unless one of us actually says 'Right, let's make this happen!' and books a hotel, or sets a day aside etc to actually meet we don't ever get anything sorted!
I'd ask her one last time, say let's make it happen, and if she doesn't reciprocate then I'd accept it probably won't happen...
Don't beat yourself up about it though! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry to hear that but you snooze you loose , perhaps the new fella went straight in for the kill & you were too polite and laid back . Yep you can’t do right for doing wrong a life’s story fella .
All the best though
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have you asked her to meet?
What do you gain from your friendship?
If it's a meet you want, then yes you're a dumbass. If it's just an online friendship then no, you're not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Have you asked her to meet?
What do you gain from your friendship?
If it's a meet you want, then yes you're a dumbass. If it's just an online friendship then no, you're not."
Yes I asked numerous times and she wasn't exactly refusing just never committed to agreeing when
Dumbass gets
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People are free meet who they like when they like that’s the whole thing about this place
Have you asked her for a social or anything if she’s not fobed you off for someone else by saying I not free bla bla bla but then meeting someone then she’s really done no wrong
And ur post comes across and quite posseive and jellos to be honest with you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"If you’ve not asked her to meet up then I’d say yes you are.
Over two years mate I've asked numerous times...not sure why everyone seems to think I haven't. OK perhaps I missed that off my original post. Apologies"
OP.. With this information I say Move on. For some reason she doesn't feel comfortable or able to say 'thanks but no thanks'.
You may never know the reason. She even may never know the reason. It's Disappointing I'm sure.. Maybe even a little bit ouchy.. but it doesn't sound promising.
Maybe take it into your own hands and send a message saying something along the lines of.. you've no confidence in her wanting to meet so you're letting it go. Byeeee.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
If you've asked op and it isn't happening, sorry but I don't think she wants to meet you.
I'd stop engaging with her, nobidy is that busy and can still fit in meets with others.
Don't let her treat you as an option. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you’ve not asked her to meet up then I’d say yes you are.
Over two years mate I've asked numerous times...not sure why everyone seems to think I haven't. OK perhaps I missed that off my original post. Apologies
OP.. With this information I say Move on. For some reason she doesn't feel comfortable or able to say 'thanks but no thanks'.
You may never know the reason. She even may never know the reason. It's Disappointing I'm sure.. Maybe even a little bit ouchy.. but it doesn't sound promising.
Maybe take it into your own hands and send a message saying something along the lines of.. you've no confidence in her wanting to meet so you're letting it go. Byeeee.
"
Already have |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have people I chat to on here without any sexual thoughts. But she may also think you're minging and just be too polite. Either way, good cry for help, Bravo! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *innocentMan
over a year ago
Littlehampton |
Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about. "
Already have |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about. "
I think creepy and controlling is a bit harsh.
If you have had enough OP I would ask outright if she wants to meet if you can't get a date then time to move on maybe and look elsewhere 
Good luck |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
"If you’ve not asked her to meet up then I’d say yes you are.
Over two years mate I've asked numerous times...not sure why everyone seems to think I haven't. OK perhaps I missed that off my original post. Apologies
OP.. With this information I say Move on. For some reason she doesn't feel comfortable or able to say 'thanks but no thanks'.
You may never know the reason. She even may never know the reason. It's Disappointing I'm sure.. Maybe even a little bit ouchy.. but it doesn't sound promising.
Maybe take it into your own hands and send a message saying something along the lines of.. you've no confidence in her wanting to meet so you're letting it go. Byeeee.
Already have "
Brilliant.
Case closed.
Thread closed?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you’ve not asked her to meet up then I’d say yes you are.
Over two years mate I've asked numerous times...not sure why everyone seems to think I haven't. OK perhaps I missed that off my original post. Apologies
OP.. With this information I say Move on. For some reason she doesn't feel comfortable or able to say 'thanks but no thanks'.
You may never know the reason. She even may never know the reason. It's Disappointing I'm sure.. Maybe even a little bit ouchy.. but it doesn't sound promising.
Maybe take it into your own hands and send a message saying something along the lines of.. you've no confidence in her wanting to meet so you're letting it go. Byeeee.
Already have
Brilliant.
Case closed.
Thread closed?
"
Very much in both cases |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about.
Already have "
What did she say? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about.
Already have
What did she say? "
Nooooo, it was a to "move on" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about. "
How’s it creepy and controlling? Veris come up on updates. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
I'd probably cut your losses, that said I've not long met someone off fab who I'd been talking to for well over a year for the first time as we'd never have the free time at the same time so who knows |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about.
How’s it creepy and controlling? Veris come up on updates. "
Leave it Nora, it's OK, we're all allowed an opinion with out recourse on anything I post. I'm not offended, so all good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about.
Already have
What did she say?
Nooooo, it was a to "move on" "
She could have told you that 2 years ago instead of keeping you hanging on. 
Chin up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Very creepy controlling behaviour, spying on the females desires to have a nice time, which has nothing to do OP.
Why men get so butthurt about someone not meeting up with them is beyond me.
Maybe after 2 years this fella would get the hint that he is the definition of friendzone.
Move on old chap, not worth even thinking about.
Already have
What did she say?
Nooooo, it was a to "move on"
She could have told you that 2 years ago instead of keeping you hanging on.
Chin up. "
Chin wasn't ever down |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"maybe she thinks she has to much of a friendship with you to want to meet you, some people prefere to meet strangers"
I agree on this, you could be in the friend zone. She really enjoys chatting to you, and values you in that way. It's possible that she may think if you had a fab meet and things got sexual it could ruin that friendship. You will never know unless you ask her though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
