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Making it hard for yourself
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I’ve often seen it written on here that this is *meant* to be fun, yet it’s so often not.
What one piece of advice would you give another person to stop them making fab so hard for themselves? |
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For men.
Be picky in who you message and delete after sending.
Don't expect to get sex.
For younger women
Lock your filters down tight and search for yourself
For everyone.
Grow a thick skin and don't take the site too seriously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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None of this is real until it is. Don't get hung up on online chat. If the chat gets you to a meet, great, but don't invest yourself in online only stuff, and keep your red flag radar tuned at a higher intensity than your horn.
I've seen enough people with statuses saying "avoid XXXX, ripped me off". |
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I very rarely message women or couples these days... I may drop them a wink, but I've found j enjoy this place a lot more just using the forums!
I'm absolutely awful at the whole first message thing, so find the wink works for me! |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.
Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.
What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.
Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.
What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.
"
Cool.
It’s a thread fella, just answer the question  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you"
 never thought of it like that... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Make your profile like a shop window that catches people’s attention. You want to attract people, the focal point is initially the profile picture so at least make that a decent one.
Another piece of advice is just simply be yourself and have fun being on here. If you are serious about meeting others, go to clubs and socials because that’s where everyone else is that wants to meet and then use this as a tool to keep in touch.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you"
Thank you for this one, I never thought of it like that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t be concerned with who others have met, we all like different people for different reasons. A persons past meets don’t reflect on you
Thank you for this one, I never thought of it like that "
Nor me. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
"The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.
Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.
What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.
Cool.
It’s a thread fella, just answer the question "
I would simply say be true to yourself and others. Don't try to be something your not. Be consistent and not change tack depending on which way you think the wind is blowing. Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself and ultimately with respect.
Worked for me thankyou
Sanctimony, hypocrisy, conceit and self pity are not good traits. |
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It's cut-throat. First of all evaluate whether you can handle that. If not then at least have breaks.
Secondly don't get cowed by the 'politics' in the forums. Try not to bite back.
Unless you see a bully. But then you're already lost. So a bit of a paradox there admittedly.
Thirdly don't assume someone sincerely likes you(as a person /physically) until you meet them. If they cut you off beforehand with no reasonble explanation then conclude that the issue is probably them.no. It is.
Fourthly enjoy, and try to keep in mind that you should have no expectations. Always. Especially if you're a bloke.
Lastly appreciate that there are genuinely normal, nice people on here. The bad/mad ones tend to make themselves known. You just have to sift. Then re-sift.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't bother. I can not even put myself on the same wavelength as someone who doesn't just see this as a fun thing to do. I'd have no advice to someone like that. |
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"It's cut-throat. First of all evaluate whether you can handle that. If not then at least have breaks.
Secondly don't get cowed by the 'politics' in the forums. Try not to bite back.
Unless you see a bully. But then you're already lost. So a bit of a paradox there admittedly.
Thirdly don't assume someone sincerely likes you(as a person /physically) until you meet them. If they cut you off beforehand with no reasonble explanation then conclude that the issue is probably them.no. It is.
Fourthly enjoy, and try to keep in mind that you should have no expectations. Always. Especially if you're a bloke.
Lastly appreciate that there are genuinely normal, nice people on here. The bad/mad ones tend to make themselves known. You just have to sift. Then re-sift.
"
Is it weird I read that in the style of Baz Luhrman, sunscreen? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.
Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.
What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.
Cool.
It’s a thread fella, just answer the question
I would simply say be true to yourself and others. Don't try to be something your not. Be consistent and not change tack depending on which way you think the wind is blowing. Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself and ultimately with respect.
Worked for me thankyou
Sanctimony, hypocrisy, conceit and self pity are not good traits. "
Nicely said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For men.
Be picky in who you message and delete after sending.
Don't expect to get sex.
For younger women
Lock your filters down tight and search for yourself
For everyone.
Grow a thick skin and don't take the site too seriously. "
Perfect advice  |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
Don't read posts in the virus or politics forums.It can be toxic.
Recognise that,as in the real world ,you will not be found desirable to many people whom you might like.
Recognise that, as is the real world, people grow on you and you maybe more desirable to them when they get to know you so socialising is important. |
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"For men.
Be picky in who you message and delete after sending.
Don't expect to get sex.
For younger women
Lock your filters down tight and search for yourself
For everyone.
Grow a thick skin and don't take the site too seriously. "
Is being catfished fun? Is having time wasted fun? Is having the goal posts changed on an arranged meet at the last moment fun?
All of those things happened to us this week. Yeah, caught most of them early on but it's getting to much on here now.
We dont expect much from the site any more but saying grow a thicker skin isnt helping anyone or saving the issues the site is having right now. This isnt the fab we where using 5 years ago is all we are saying. |
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"The real question is what is the definition of fun, and who decides? We know the majority of posts are self serving, attention seeking. People use the forums to try and get attention they wouldn't normally get, or get peer approval/justification for behaving a certain way.
Fun again is purely subjective, depends on where campus your sitting in.
What is fun to some may not be fun to others. Fun like many other words thrown about in the forums is simply another forum cliché.
"
Fun is what 'You' decide fun is!
When 'your' experience is no longer positive or brings you down then it is no longer fun. |
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