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Deception and lies
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If someone sincerely apologises that's it...I forgive...But I may not forget...Some memories just can't be permanently removed from your brain...I won't hold a grudge though |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It depends on the "what" - and it may take me a while to move on as I have a tendency to over analyse/ovethink but generally I'm a forgive and forget type - although if it's serious enough I'll cut the person out of my life - but at the same time life's too short for grudges so I let it go as best I can. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends of what they done but if it's bad enough that we no longer talk then why would I forgive and forget?
I'm not going to forgive someone that clearly has hurt me (and/or my family) they wouldn't deserve it.
Forget - Something's just aren't easy to forget.
If I've cut them off, there's a damn good reason for it and that will stand. I'd have no interest in letting someone like that back in my life. I wouldn't hold a grudge as such, I'd get on with my life and not give them a passing thought. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hold grudges. I have forgiven before and it’s not helped matters so now it’s all about the grudges- I don’t get revenge though, although tempting at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It does depend on what they have done but life is too short to try and get revenge.
The past is just that, it can't be changed.
I'd rather forget and move on which is what I am doing at the moment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to ruminate and stew over even the smallest annoyance. Have enough of them and the results could get explosive.
Now I'll let things go. I'd probably end up forgetting anyway as I've a rubbish memory. |
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By *an4funMan
over a year ago
london |
When people say they forgive but never forget then surely that isn't forgiveness.
If it's a minor one off then I'll usually forgive. But if it's something that is consistent with that person then I won't forget/forgive. If it's a big issue that they have created as well then I will isolate myself from them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. ... Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Grudges are dangerous. Starting and perpetuating conflict is easy whether between individuals or states. It takes far greater skill and understanding to iniate peace, then to rebuild trusting and enduring relationships. A few people have said they can forgive but not forget. That is the smart way - use your experiences to protect yourself and educate others to prevent future conflicts. |
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I do disappointment.
Disappointment in them and disappointment in myself for not being someone they felt they didn't need to lie to, in myself for giving someone my trust when they clearly had no respect for it.
I may not necessarily forgive them as such, but I'll try to understand them and let it go as far as they go. I tend not to forgive myself tho, which is incredibly damaging and why I get hurt so deeply when I'm wronged.
I will cut people from my life without hesitation if its something major or they won't come clean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you the type to forgive and forget?
Or
Hold a grudge for years and determine to get even no matter how long ago it was?"
I'm the sort to try and understand why somebody was fucking me about. I generally succeed at that. It doesn't make me a doormat, it makes me an empathic, hopefully decent human being who will never hold a grudge. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on what's happened. As people have said, if there's a sincere apology and a way of trying to reconcile, then sure.
I'm not one for revenge though. I'll just cut someone out. I'll be civil if they're around but they don't have access to me or my life after that. |
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So many folk saying they can 'forgive but don't forget!'
Easier to forgive if you can rationalise why something has happened or been said..
Not forgetting? Is this a 'learnt behaviour' 'A protective measure' to avoid it happening again or dealing with it better in the future?
Introspective, late night ramblings! I'm off to see whats on telly |
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"So many folk saying they can 'forgive but don't forget!'
Easier to forgive if you can rationalise why something has happened or been said..
Not forgetting? Is this a 'learnt behaviour' 'A protective measure' to avoid it happening again or dealing with it better in the future?
Introspective, late night ramblings! I'm off to see whats on telly "
If you keep getting electrocuted changing light bulbs, eventually you'll be sitting in the dark or leave the light bulb changing to other people. |
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I'll forgive. Whether I forget depends on whether it's something I'm best remembering (for my own sake).
I'm a peaceful person and never wage war on anyone. I'd rather walk away and find solace some place else.
C |
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Life is too short to hold a grudge and get even. If someone fucks me over then good luck to them. I will be wary of them in the future but I won’t go out of my way to do them harm. Karma usually does that and I find people tend to get their just desserts at some point. That is good enough for me. |
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