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Fab award for most consistent behaviour and tolerance.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Obviously I’m awarding this to myself.
Reason being, if there’s a member that has had as much abuse as me then feel free to name them.
11 years I’ve been here, I’d say that there’s no other member than myself that has consistently been on the receiving end of negative comments.
I read a thread of mine yesterday that was from 6 years ago and it was almost full of abuse.
Yet I’m still here! So if there’s anything to learn from this it’s that people have tried for 11 years to get to me but they can’t. I’m an impenetrable fortress. I’ll outlast all of you and that is what makes me great. 
Don’t worry I’m back in work tomorrow night. |
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Your blue Peter badge is in the post 
I think I've been guilty in the past of butting heads with you but I've learnt over the years to see past your brash, 'arrogant' persona on here.
You like what you like and aren't afraid to say it. In today's work of empowerment and body positivity nobody should put anyone down when simply describing what they are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Your blue Peter badge is in the post
I think I've been guilty in the past of butting heads with you but I've learnt over the years to see past your brash, 'arrogant' persona on here.
You like what you like and aren't afraid to say it. In today's work of empowerment and body positivity nobody should put anyone down when simply describing what they are looking for. "
That’s why I look for your contributions on any of my posts. I know you’re not afraid to pull me up when I’m being a dick and will always give honest opinions. |
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You take loads of flack.
Youre honest and you know I respect that massively.
Yes, you've made some terrible fucking decisions in the past, we ALL do. The difference being you'll tell us you're struggling with XYZ, you'll be open about things. You'll ask questions about behaviours. Others will spout what a nut job you are whilst keeping their own "fucked up" shit locked tightly in a box never to see the light of day, whilst in their minds they ain't so damn pure. You're forthright and forward, you call it as it is, others do things slyly.
Basically you own your shit.
And then on the other 4nd if the spectrum you'll have randoms pop up on your deep threads who'll say something like "well I'd let you do whatever you wanted coz you're so pretty" or something along those lines. Wowsers, so helpful and insightful, so personal and considerate, so..... seeing me as a human and not the skin I'm in. Not.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You take loads of flack.
Youre honest and you know I respect that massively.
Yes, you've made some terrible fucking decisions in the past, we ALL do. The difference being you'll tell us you're struggling with XYZ, you'll be open about things. You'll ask questions about behaviours. Others will spout what a nut job you are whilst keeping their own "fucked up" shit locked tightly in a box never to see the light of day, whilst in their minds they ain't so damn pure. You're forthright and forward, you call it as it is, others do things slyly.
Basically you own your shit.
And then on the other 4nd if the spectrum you'll have randoms pop up on your deep threads who'll say something like "well I'd let you do whatever you wanted coz you're so pretty" or something along those lines. Wowsers, so helpful and insightful, so personal and considerate, so..... seeing me as a human and not the skin I'm in. Not.
"
You know my respect for you is mutual.
I think that’s why I don’t flirt. I don’t need flirts I don’t need compliments. I like to know the workings of people. I like to try and understand shit. I sometimes don’t understand how people (not people here but real life people) can be so cold because I’m naturally not a cold person so I don’t understand the workings of people. |
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"You take loads of flack.
Youre honest and you know I respect that massively.
Yes, you've made some terrible fucking decisions in the past, we ALL do. The difference being you'll tell us you're struggling with XYZ, you'll be open about things. You'll ask questions about behaviours. Others will spout what a nut job you are whilst keeping their own "fucked up" shit locked tightly in a box never to see the light of day, whilst in their minds they ain't so damn pure. You're forthright and forward, you call it as it is, others do things slyly.
Basically you own your shit.
And then on the other 4nd if the spectrum you'll have randoms pop up on your deep threads who'll say something like "well I'd let you do whatever you wanted coz you're so pretty" or something along those lines. Wowsers, so helpful and insightful, so personal and considerate, so..... seeing me as a human and not the skin I'm in. Not.
You know my respect for you is mutual.
I think that’s why I don’t flirt. I don’t need flirts I don’t need compliments. I like to know the workings of people. I like to try and understand shit. I sometimes don’t understand how people (not people here but real life people) can be so cold because I’m naturally not a cold person so I don’t understand the workings of people. "
I hear ya. I've reached the stage where I don't really know what I want from life anymore but I'm sure as shit it ain't this. I haven't felt empowered from my fab experience, not really, not overall. Talking about outside things that happen when people are cold or just plain vile and the general consensus is "people are cunts, it's them not you" doesn't fill me with hope. In fact, it just highlights how horrid humans are on a mass scale.
Yes there's good and bad, and we can't wave a magic wand, but it feels like a losing battle and one I'm tired of fighting.
I always always wanted my past to be a beacon of hope for others that we can recover and be happy, I feel like I'm losing my light, like the only thing I'm bringing these days is fear and bitterness. Urgh |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
For me forum behaviour, whether funny, assertive, warm, kind, intellectual or whatever... needs to show a degree of consistency.
Consistency represents a certain degree of integrity, you know that person owns their stuff as somebody said earlier on this thread.
I like consistent people for that reason - moody ups and downs (I know we can all have a bad day, I am not referring to that) and drama I dislike and generally stay away from as I cannot be arsed.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
"
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
My condolences xxx |
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
Sorry to hear that Annie. May I suggest you step away from the forum and talk 1-2-1 with someone via PM |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
Sorry to read that Annie, that's crap. Sometimes having a cry is cathartic but you don't need to make yourself feel bad to do that. People will merrily tear in to you, you know this but it's not healthy. Go watch something, listen to something that will help you cry. |
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
I'm sorry to read this, my condolences to you. Don't sabotage your mental health on here. Can you get hold of your counsellor if you are struggling a bit? |
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
I don't know how close you were to your grandad but don't feel weird if you haven't cried. I don't think I cried when either of my nans died. I was incredibly sad of course but I tend to go into practical mode, especially if others are more visibly upset than me.
It will come when it comes and just let it happen when it does. Don't fight it. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I am sorry to read this, Annie, and maybe it helps being on the forums, I don't know.
I would say whatever helps right now is ok but would echo what the other poster said, perhaps (also) chat to somebody on or off-site, on a one to one basis? |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad.
Sorry to hear that Annie. May I suggest you step away from the forum and talk 1-2-1 with someone via PM "
Very much this, and what Meli has said below it.
Forced emotional release is not healthy, better to let it release on its own through other means. |
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"You take loads of flack.
Youre honest and you know I respect that massively.
Yes, you've made some terrible fucking decisions in the past, we ALL do. The difference being you'll tell us you're struggling with XYZ, you'll be open about things. You'll ask questions about behaviours. Others will spout what a nut job you are whilst keeping their own "fucked up" shit locked tightly in a box never to see the light of day, whilst in their minds they ain't so damn pure. You're forthright and forward, you call it as it is, others do things slyly.
Basically you own your shit.
And then on the other 4nd if the spectrum you'll have randoms pop up on your deep threads who'll say something like "well I'd let you do whatever you wanted coz you're so pretty" or something along those lines. Wowsers, so helpful and insightful, so personal and considerate, so..... seeing me as a human and not the skin I'm in. Not.
You know my respect for you is mutual.
I think that’s why I don’t flirt. I don’t need flirts I don’t need compliments. I like to know the workings of people. I like to try and understand shit. I sometimes don’t understand how people (not people here but real life people) can be so cold because I’m naturally not a cold person so I don’t understand the workings of people.
I hear ya. I've reached the stage where I don't really know what I want from life anymore but I'm sure as shit it ain't this. I haven't felt empowered from my fab experience, not really, not overall. Talking about outside things that happen when people are cold or just plain vile and the general consensus is "people are cunts, it's them not you" doesn't fill me with hope. In fact, it just highlights how horrid humans are on a mass scale.
Yes there's good and bad, and we can't wave a magic wand, but it feels like a losing battle and one I'm tired of fighting.
I always always wanted my past to be a beacon of hope for others that we can recover and be happy, I feel like I'm losing my light, like the only thing I'm bringing these days is fear and bitterness. Urgh "
Ahh Peach, I'm so sorry to hear this. A virtual hug isn't much I know, but it's what I got  Inbox always open for ya  |
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
I suspect it'll come at some point lovely. We all grieve in our own time and our own ways. I'm so sorry for your loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
So sorry to hear this, look after yourself x |
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By *VineMan
over a year ago
The right place |
"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
Really sorry to hear that. Sending love and hugs |
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
I can tell you til I'm blue in the face and you're sick of my voice why this is a bad idea, but I get it.
You have to make that decision on your own, not because you're told. You have to decide for yourself that you're worth more than that. You have to believe that the pattern that once was doesn't have to be the pattern that always is.
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There is no correct amount of grief nor proper reaction so don't worry about it. This death may never hit you hard or it might creep up on you. Just do you. If the forums are helping keep at it. Otherwise have a spa day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m so sorry Annie. It’s awful to lose someone, but people being horrible to you won’t help.
Sending hugs. Watch a sad film, hug a teddy and eat some chocolate xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you OK Annie?
My spidey senses are tingling as you haven't done a ever decreasing spiral of threads for a while
I dunno. My grandfather passed away this morning and I haven’t cried so I think I’m trying to make myself feel bad.
I don't know how close you were to your grandad but don't feel weird if you haven't cried. I don't think I cried when either of my nans died. I was incredibly sad of course but I tend to go into practical mode, especially if others are more visibly upset than me.
It will come when it comes and just let it happen when it does. Don't fight it. "
Yeah my mums dad and she’s obviously upset. So was my daughter this morning but she’s gone to school. I just had a word and she can go and help with the infants if she’s not feeling herself cos she’s brill with the babies.
I know I’m not gonna be able to watch the chase for a while cos I used to watch it with him! Stupid things innit! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ahh ok so reading the responses has made them come! It’s that thing innit when someone asks if you’re alright, it’s the worst!
Thank you. Mad cos now I feel like I don’t want the fuss! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont know you but Im very sorry to read about your Grandfather. Grief comes to all of us in different ways at different times. Sometimes like an instant flood and sometimes like a slow rising tide. If you stay on here dont let the knob ends get to you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You certainly take a lot more flak than me, but then again you also get a lot more praise and positive attention than me too!
So lots of swings and roundabouts and I guess it’s only to be expected when personal threads are started regularly.
Not all threads will be full of positive comments - have you ever seen those threads that blokes start that say “who wants to meet me” or “why can’t I get a meet?” - they tend to be 80% flaming and roasting the OP. It’s what happens when people start threads about them, you get positives and negatives and I’d actually say you do quite well in comparison to most on the positive to negative comments ratio!
So my advice? Focus on and enjoy the good comments (which tend to be the majority) and ignore the negative ones!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah I should always read through threads before commenting (it’s a weakness of mine - I rarely do!) and I missed the sad news about your Grandfather - my condolences and sympathy to you and your family x |
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