FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Past Relationship review
Past Relationship review
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"My last relationship before Mr KC was over 17yrs ago, when I was not an age I can disclose. I don't think it's relevant anymore, but he was (is) polar opposite to Mr KC in every way." So when you look at profiles on here are you attracted to the KC type or his polar opposite? | |||
"I meant as in what is your type in terms of what you would look for if you’re out on the pull (for me it’s very tall, shaved head, pale skin, tubby) compared with the men I seem to end up dating" I had a thing for gingers (No offense gingers) dated 7 married one divorced him. Perfect life now. Every one I dated was hot headed. Now before I get accused of being a ginger idiot. Personal experience. Kind of like sticking your finger Ina electrical socket. You only do that once. Unfortunately my dumbass did not learn. It took awhile. | |||
"I meant as in what is your type in terms of what you would look for if you’re out on the pull (for me it’s very tall, shaved head, pale skin, tubby) compared with the men I seem to end up dating I had a thing for gingers (No offense gingers) dated 7 married one divorced him. Perfect life now. Every one I dated was hot headed. Now before I get accused of being a ginger idiot. Personal experience. Kind of like sticking your finger Ina electrical socket. You only do that once. Unfortunately my dumbass did not learn. It took awhile." I married one too … I share the pain !!! | |||
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"My last relationship before Mr KC was over 17yrs ago, when I was not an age I can disclose. I don't think it's relevant anymore, but he was (is) polar opposite to Mr KC in every way. So when you look at profiles on here are you attracted to the KC type or his polar opposite?" Honestly, a mix. I do seem drawn to the taller and slimmer guys but not as a rule and I don't think I'm drawn to certain eye, hair or skin colour - I've found all sorts attractive  | |||
"I meant as in what is your type in terms of what you would look for if you’re out on the pull (for me it’s very tall, shaved head, pale skin, tubby) compared with the men I seem to end up dating I had a thing for gingers (No offense gingers) dated 7 married one divorced him. Perfect life now. Every one I dated was hot headed. Now before I get accused of being a ginger idiot. Personal experience. Kind of like sticking your finger Ina electrical socket. You only do that once. Unfortunately my dumbass did not learn. It took awhile." Non taken lol, you nailed us in one sentence Im a gemini too so Im like 2 gingers cunts rolled into one... On the original qyestion for years I obsessed over petite pale akinned blue eyed mousey haired blondes probably because the first ever gf I had serious looked luke that and she finished me so I was always chasing version 2.0 to make myself feel better about that. Glad my tastes are so much more varied now | |||
"About the only physical common factors I can think of between all my ex's is they all had varying shades of brown hair (apart from one who was ginger) and were quite a bit shorter than me. I do mostly seem to be attracted to non-blondes (there are a very few exceptions). Generally I have never 'pulled' while out in a pub or club. It's always just happened and I am usually attracted to them once I've seen a bit of their personality. Just about all of my exes have been through work or when at school/college. On Fab the ones I have 'clicked' with are all quite varied physically (and even variations in personality). I would say I don't have a physical type I go for but more about style and personality." Thanks that’s interesting … and good to see a bloke who doesn’t have a default button for blondes I was referring to physical features, many people don’t go get to know the personality behind the physical shell if they don’t find that attractive | |||
"About the only physical common factors I can think of between all my ex's is they all had varying shades of brown hair (apart from one who was ginger) and were quite a bit shorter than me. I do mostly seem to be attracted to non-blondes (there are a very few exceptions). Generally I have never 'pulled' while out in a pub or club. It's always just happened and I am usually attracted to them once I've seen a bit of their personality. Just about all of my exes have been through work or when at school/college. On Fab the ones I have 'clicked' with are all quite varied physically (and even variations in personality). I would say I don't have a physical type I go for but more about style and personality." If you’re mostly attracted to blondes but commonly dated brunettes is that because you connected with their personality rather than looks, or were they just and available at the time I don’t mean that in a derogatory way - just not sure how to phrase it | |||
" Thanks that’s interesting … and good to see a bloke who doesn’t have a default button for blondes I was referring to physical features, many people don’t go get to know the personality behind the physical shell if they don’t find that attractive " It's clothes that I notice first - what and how they are being worn - which you could say is an outward manifestation of personality. But having blonde hair would be in the minus column generally. I put the non-blonde bit down to that I am blonde (grey now). | |||
" Honestly, a mix. I do seem drawn to the taller and slimmer guys but not as a rule and I don't think I'm drawn to certain eye, hair or skin colour - I've found all sorts attractive "I can’t date slim, thin men. Maybe it’s cos I’m BBW myself but I really dislike feeling their bones through their skin. I much prefer a tubby / cuddly bloke to snuggle up with. It’s like having a 6’ hot water bottle | |||
" Honestly, a mix. I do seem drawn to the taller and slimmer guys but not as a rule and I don't think I'm drawn to certain eye, hair or skin colour - I've found all sorts attractive
I can’t date slim, thin men. Maybe it’s cos I’m BBW myself but I really dislike feeling their bones through their skin.
I much prefer a tubby / cuddly bloke to snuggle up with. It’s like having a 6’ hot water bottle"I'm chubby but Mr KC is definitely a slim chap. He's just right for me, though  . It'd be a boring world if we all liked the same thing! | |||
" Thanks that’s interesting … and good to see a bloke who doesn’t have a default button for blondes I was referring to physical features, many people don’t go get to know the personality behind the physical shell if they don’t find that attractive It's clothes that I notice first - what and how they are being worn - which you could say is an outward manifestation of personality. But having blonde hair would be in the minus column generally. I put the non-blonde bit down to that I am blonde (grey now)." I’m very grey too. Generally grey hair seems to make men appear distinguished yet is seen as a turn off when it comes to women! | |||
" Honestly, a mix. I do seem drawn to the taller and slimmer guys but not as a rule and I don't think I'm drawn to certain eye, hair or skin colour - I've found all sorts attractive
I can’t date slim, thin men. Maybe it’s cos I’m BBW myself but I really dislike feeling their bones through their skin.
I much prefer a tubby / cuddly bloke to snuggle up with. It’s like having a 6’ hot water bottle
I'm chubby but Mr KC is definitely a slim chap. He's just right for me, though . It'd be a boring world if we all liked the same thing!"
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" Honestly, a mix. I do seem drawn to the taller and slimmer guys but not as a rule and I don't think I'm drawn to certain eye, hair or skin colour - I've found all sorts attractive
I can’t date slim, thin men. Maybe it’s cos I’m BBW myself but I really dislike feeling their bones through their skin.
I much prefer a tubby / cuddly bloke to snuggle up with. It’s like having a 6’ hot water bottle"Love it's your choice in the end run. My 5'2 120 lbs gets crushed it's like a Chihuahua having sex with a grizzly bear. Choices | |||
" Love it's your choice in the end run. My 5'2 120 lbs gets crushed it's like a Chihuahua having sex with a grizzly bear. Choices " Haha like it
Each to their own, if everyone had the same type it’d be a battlefield out there
I know from my inbox that I’m not everyone’s visual cup of tea, the nice men on Fab like to message me just to tell me so! | |||
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"For me it's always been if I find them attractive and leads to great chemistry my past has only been that as in type yet my past have been ginger blonde brunette and few Scottish one Irish rest English all north east ish " Ooh I do love a good accent, especially a Scottish one. I get mistaken for being a Scot rather than the Geordie that I am Most of mine have been long distance which suits me great. Hopefully my next relationship will be a lovely man I’m messaging, he has just moved to the UK from India, lives 3 hours away which is a good distance for me and one that I’m comfortable with. Not too close so no stalker like unannounced visits on the doorstep | |||
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"Undeniable chemistry is something you feel. It's not a type. However I know I won't be happy without it so it's essential. I'm not sure how I'll ever find that now " I hope it finds you | |||
" Thanks that’s interesting … and good to see a bloke who doesn’t have a default button for blondes I was referring to physical features, many people don’t go get to know the personality behind the physical shell if they don’t find that attractive It's clothes that I notice first - what and how they are being worn - which you could say is an outward manifestation of personality. But having blonde hair would be in the minus column generally. I put the non-blonde bit down to that I am blonde (grey now). I’m very grey too. Generally grey hair seems to make men appear distinguished yet is seen as a turn off when it comes to women!" Nothing wrong with grey hair on a woman in my book. | |||
In reality, my type is kind and caring and I'm not too fussed what packaging that comes in, I'm far more likely to fancy someone who I actually like.
Mr
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"Strange observation OP and I can concur. I tend to be mentally attracted to dark skinned women, brunettes, shorter women. Yet as things pan out I tend to have sexual relationships with the opposite (with some exceptions). I think having a “type” in your head doesn’t translate because 90% of people are bloody wonderful, fun, intelligent, mischievous, exciting, amazing and unique. And it is that last point alone I find so alluring. Finding someone’s uniqueness and basking in that. " I agree. I wonder where we get the ‘type in our heads’ from? Maybe I read too many Mills and Boon books as a teen! | |||
"I had to do a ti_eline exercise when I first started counselling. For that I had to gather photographs of me as a child to present day. I found loads of photos of my father when he was aged around 26 to 35 and my god does he look like the blueprint to every guy I’ve ever been with. He’s Italian, tall, dark hair, big eyebrows, very handsome, strong jawline. He never bothered with me all my life so there’s gotta be something in that, as I seek out men with this look. " Thanks, that’s really interesting. You have a type and that’s what you date. Your dad must have been a nice man if that’s what you have gone for. In my case there’s a big mismatch between the ‘type I look for and the type I date. I’m not doing this for counselling reasons, but for similar reasons. Looking at a ti_eline of men I’ve dated and why things did not work out. Unfortunately I’m at an age where I have to think back over 40 years, that’s not easy! | |||
"Undeniable chemistry is something you feel. It's not a type. However I know I won't be happy without it so it's essential. I'm not sure how I'll ever find that now " I hope you do. In this modern way of meeting people online it’s the chemistry that is definitely something that you can’t get via text or phone calls. There may be a strong connection and good rapport but the chemistry only shows when we meet someone in person. That is the advantage of meeting someone in person, in a bar or at work. Not so easy now when communicating tends to be done online and the opportunity to meet people in person is difficult given social distancing restrictions and lockdowns Good luck in finding what you’re looking for | |||
The only thing about my ex bf that didn’t tick my box was his height. | |||
My long term ex partners have been the polar opposites of each other but they all had qualities and physical attributes I’m attracted too - I like a gent with a cheeky side, someone you can be the best version of yourself with whether that’s being silly together or filthy or whatever it may be, someone who never tries to change you and who you accept equally just as they are xx | |||
"Her ladyship is very nearly a foot taller than my ex wife. My ex (who was very petite) always believed that I preferred taller more busty ladies, her ladyship is convinced she's not my ideal type as she's not petite
In reality, my type is kind and caring and I'm not too fussed what packaging that comes in, I'm far more likely to fancy someone who I actually like.
Mr
"I agree it’s the unseen characteristics, values etc of a person rather than the packaging that is important, and that is what really matters. Otherwise ugly (on the outside) people would always be single I reality very few people would swipe yes for every person on a dating app irrespective of their looks and get to know the people they match with to see if they are a kind and caring person, and a good dating match | |||
"All but the last one were women
The only thing about my ex bf that didn’t tick my box was his height. "Why date him if height was an issue. I find your answer really interesting as I’ve dated men who are not my type looks/height etc and known it would never go anywhere because it would always be an issue for me … yet dated them anyway instead of thinking forward and knowing it would end so instead hang back for someone who does tick my boxes | |||
"Warm eyes, a killer smile and a unique look/dress sense will always grab my attention, I tend to date older men for some reason but ultimately it be down to that undeniable chemistry and the feeling I get when around that person. Someone who is like a best mate but you want to jump there bones
My long term ex partners have been the polar opposites of each other but they all had qualities and physical attributes I’m attracted too - I like a gent with a cheeky side, someone you can be the best version of yourself with whether that’s being silly together or filthy or whatever it may be, someone who never tries to change you and who you accept equally just as they are xx"I’m a sucker for striking eyes, nice teeth and add an office type shirt and I’m in! Unfortunately finding someone who doesn’t want to change you and will accept you for who you are (and vice verse) can be quite a challenge Do you think your date type changes depending on if you have met them in person or online? | |||
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"Warm eyes, a killer smile and a unique look/dress sense will always grab my attention, I tend to date older men for some reason but ultimately it be down to that undeniable chemistry and the feeling I get when around that person. Someone who is like a best mate but you want to jump there bones
My long term ex partners have been the polar opposites of each other but they all had qualities and physical attributes I’m attracted too - I like a gent with a cheeky side, someone you can be the best version of yourself with whether that’s being silly together or filthy or whatever it may be, someone who never tries to change you and who you accept equally just as they are xx
I’m a sucker for striking eyes, nice teeth and add an office type shirt and I’m in!
Unfortunately finding someone who doesn’t want to change you and will accept you for who you are (and vice verse) can be quite a challenge
Do you think your date type changes depending on if you have met them in person or online?
"No, I know what I like. I don’t believe in people growing on you there’s got to be an initial attraction for me and a good flow to conversation if it feels forced in anyway I switch off. Whilst it’s challenging to meet someone who doesn’t want to change you I’m always true to myself and wouldn’t change for anyone, regardless of how handsome he/she was xx | |||
"Nope My relationships were Fem, 5ft, short dark hair, well built, green eyes, 5 years younger Fem 4ft10, very slight, short fair hair, blue eyes, 5 years younger Fem 5ft8, larger build, long blond hair, green eyes, 10 years older Male 5ft8, stocky, mousey hair, beard, 10 years younger Male 5ft10, slim, muscle fit, brown hair, brown eyes, Portuguese, my age Male 5ft3, slim, brown hair, grey eyes, 25 years younger So, I guess the only common denominators are that they were mostly younger and 50% of them had green eyes" So … if you were single and swiping left (no) or right (yes) on a dating app - based on your ‘type’ as in the type of person you are visually attracted/drawn to… how many of those would you have swiped right/yes for? | |||
"They were all people with vaginas, that’s the main theme, they also had boobs too. " Haha at least you’re honest with your type | |||
"Warm eyes, a killer smile and a unique look/dress sense will always grab my attention, I tend to date older men for some reason but ultimately it be down to that undeniable chemistry and the feeling I get when around that person. Someone who is like a best mate but you want to jump there bones
My long term ex partners have been the polar opposites of each other but they all had qualities and physical attributes I’m attracted too - I like a gent with a cheeky side, someone you can be the best version of yourself with whether that’s being silly together or filthy or whatever it may be, someone who never tries to change you and who you accept equally just as they are xx
I’m a sucker for striking eyes, nice teeth and add an office type shirt and I’m in!
Unfortunately finding someone who doesn’t want to change you and will accept you for who you are (and vice verse) can be quite a challenge
Do you think your date type changes depending on if you have met them in person or online?
No, I know what I like. I don’t believe in people growing on you there’s got to be an initial attraction for me and a good flow to conversation if it feels forced in anyway I switch off.
Whilst it’s challenging to meet someone who doesn’t want to change you I’m always true to myself and wouldn’t change for anyone, regardless of how handsome he/she was xx"There needs to be attraction and a good flow of conversation for me too When I was younger I would date men I was not attracted to because I didn’t want to reject them by saying no when I was asked out … that always let to disaster as I ended up hurting them more when I did end things. Now I’m older and slightly wiser I wouldn’t do that. | |||
"Nope My relationships were Fem, 5ft, short dark hair, well built, green eyes, 5 years younger Fem 4ft10, very slight, short fair hair, blue eyes, 5 years younger Fem 5ft8, larger build, long blond hair, green eyes, 10 years older Male 5ft8, stocky, mousey hair, beard, 10 years younger Male 5ft10, slim, muscle fit, brown hair, brown eyes, Portuguese, my age Male 5ft3, slim, brown hair, grey eyes, 25 years younger So, I guess the only common denominators are that they were mostly younger and 50% of them had green eyes So … if you were single and swiping left (no) or right (yes) on a dating app - based on your ‘type’ as in the type of person you are visually attracted/drawn to… how many of those would you have swiped right/yes for?" One (not the one I'm currently with) We make so many decisions based on a single 2D pic these days | |||
" So … if you were single and swiping left (no) or right (yes) on a dating app - based on your ‘type’ as in the type of person you are visually attracted/drawn to… how many of those would you have swiped right/yes for?" If we're talking swipe right/left then I am more attracted to boyish looking women. All my exes, apart from one, have all been a bit tomboyish and not 'girly'. Winona Ryder and Helena Bonham-Carter are my 'type'. But so is Emily Watson. | |||
"All but the last one were women
The only thing about my ex bf that didn’t tick my box was his height.
Why date him if height was an issue.
I find your answer really interesting as I’ve dated men who are not my type looks/height etc and known it would never go anywhere because it would always be an issue for me … yet dated them anyway instead of thinking forward and knowing it would end so instead hang back for someone who does tick my boxes"When I met him I was in a club and wearing fuck me til I’m screaming heels, so I was taller than lots of guys. He was good looking, the spitting image of Steve McQueen, funny, very strong. I didn’t realise he was an inch shorter than me at first. We hit it off really well and he asked to date me. I rarely noticed the height difference while we were together. He was larger than life and his physical presence more than compensated. | |||
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" So … if you were single and swiping left (no) or right (yes) on a dating app - based on your ‘type’ as in the type of person you are visually attracted/drawn to… how many of those would you have swiped right/yes for? If we're talking swipe right/left then I am more attracted to boyish looking women. All my exes, apart from one, have all been a bit tomboyish and not 'girly'. Winona Ryder and Helena Bonham-Carter are my 'type'. But so is Emily Watson." At the moment I find Elizabeth Debicki very captivating. | |||
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" We make so many decisions based on a single 2D pic these days "
Very true, I think many people miss out on meeting ‘The One’ based on swiping left on a 2D pic
… that said so many people put up shit pics so miss out on meeting someone
I work on the basis that if I’m on a dating site I use photos showing what I look like when out in public, the way I would meet someone in days gone by.
Not spread eagled on my bed, or looking like shit on the sofa watching tv | |||
" Winona Ryder and Helena Bonham-Carter are my 'type'. But so is Emily Watson. At the moment I find Elizabeth Debicki very captivating."
Álvaro Morte (Money Heist) does it for me  | |||
" We make so many decisions based on a single 2D pic these days
Very true, I think many people miss out on meeting ‘The One’ based on swiping left on a 2D pic
… that said so many people put up shit pics so miss out on meeting someone
I work on the basis that if I’m on a dating site I use photos showing what I look like when out in public, the way I would meet someone in days gone by.
Not spread eagled on my bed, or looking like shit on the sofa watching tv"There's a danger that one would be accused of catfishing if they were to put up their best pic or one that makes them look great from a certain angle. | |||
