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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? " Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but... Double standards. Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly. If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response. Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling. But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive. | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but... Double standards. Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly. If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response. Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling. But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive. " Should read " diet Co ke ad looking guy" | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but... Double standards. Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly. If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response. Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling. But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive. " Not me. If a fit guy cat called me that attraction I had for him would soon start disappearing. It’s just not attractive, as I said, I don’t hate it, but it won’t make me want to run and jump into bed with someone. | |||
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"There’s nothing more off-putting than getting a taste of your own medicine. So if a catcaller "compliments" a specific part of your body, get back at them by flinging the same "compliment" right back at them. And if they don’t have that same body part, you can always go for the good ol' “Damn, I love that tiny d*ck of yours! " That’s what I do. Soon shuts them up | |||
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"I wouldn’t say I hate it, but it also doesn’t make me feel good. Someone saying in a nice non creepy manner that I look nice would make me smile, someone whistling over the road or “Oi Oi sexy” just kinda makes me cringe. There’s just no class to it. " I used to have to drive the work's van from Barnes to Ealing Broadway approx 6/8 guy's all shouting at any female we passed. Talk about embarrassing,my boss was the worst culprit. "Wheyheyyyy love, hang one out make an old man happy" Omg and people wonder why builder's have a bad reputation. | |||
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"I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again " Ermmm have you ever seen a group of women on a night out pissed up? They are just as bad if not worse than guy's. I think the difference being it's generally pretty harmless and maybe just acting up in front of mate's or even just giving guy's a taste of their own medicine! | |||
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"I don’t think looks have anything to do with it personally. I guess it’s just the way it’s done. Sometimes I’ll be flattered by it, other times I couldn’t be more disgusted. I guess what I like is not cat calling as such but having compliments called at me in the streets haha! Is a funny things to do though, I’ve never seen a good looking guy in public and felt the need to let him know to never see him again " That last bit was my thinking too, if I were to pay them a compliment, I would do that with the hope it would go somewhere. Not sure if that comes across as if I have ulterior motives though | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? " What I have noticed is that the problem is less the cat calling...but who does the cat calling- by that I mean that a man that is viewed as attractive is less likely to annoy the woman with the comments. Regardless, a man that does that is most likely not very intelligent, and it's less about complimenting the woman on her appearance and more to boost his own ego. | |||
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"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13. That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood. " same here. I developed a womans body at a young age and had to put up with it. | |||
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"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13. That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood. " Ugh. This brings back memories of a white van man basically driving really slow and shouting at me to stop and come talk to him one summer, I was 15. He must’ve been about 55. | |||
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"Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t. " and that is why women have to put up with shit because thats what sone guys believe | |||
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"The trouble is, men have long had a sense of entitlement to women's bodies via the all encompassing "male gaze". They start doing it as soon as girls hit puberty, I know I've been called by grown-ass men since I was about 12/13. That sexualisation of women's bodies starts so young so catcalling and the like soon become entirely normal when you've been used to it since childhood. Ugh. This brings back memories of a white van man basically driving really slow and shouting at me to stop and come talk to him one summer, I was 15. He must’ve been about 55. " Yep, and I see it happening all over again with my daughter. It's appalling. Grown men sexualising children. | |||
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"I don't like it, it makes me feel anxious. I've experienced how easily it can escalate into something more sinister and I didn't like it one bit " This is why I wouldn’t do it. 99% of the time it’s probably just innocent but I’d hate to be in the situation where you don’t know and what that feels like. | |||
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"There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment. I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon. Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful. " This, 100% | |||
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"Not something I’ve ever felt the urge to do. Except in a relationship and seeing the other half dressed up kind of scenario if that makes sense. " I think that is fine | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? Ok I'm going to get lambasted for this but... Double standards. Women only seem to complain about it if the guy's fat and ugly. If it was a hot diet ad looking guy I'm pretty sure most women would be flexible with their response. Many years ago I will admit to being a lecherous twat and cat calling. But I grew up and now I can't imagine doing anything so crass and insensitive. " Lambast number 1...... ( a little bit o monica in my life ) ... half a lambast then... bit of a one. Some, SOME women , sometimes like the attention and DO take it better from someone they find attractive. The psychology behind it though is not as simple as it seems. It's okay to respond to someone you fancy with a smile or an hello. It shows you are welcoming the attention. But it's a problem for women to give false come ons.. so if they smiled and waved back or gave any indication that they welcomed the attention they are going to get followed, propositioned etc etc and no matter how 'nice' mr. ugly is she has then got to let him down ....... and is then labelled a prick tease. Now you can lambast me if you want but Mr. Deadly handsome is not likely to follow through with the flirting whearas Mr. Fugly is going to be delighted to have got a come on and keep going for it. I'm just putting my hazmat on before you spit. OH. BTW .... It's sexual harrassment in most circumstances in my book - but maybe not if you wiggle for a living. | |||
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"Of course they like it. Don’t be fooled by the ones that say they don’t. " You going down the women's institute later ? | |||
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"I see it as sexual harassment. It’s sexualising a person against her wishes and is a misogynistic claim of ownership over a woman’s body; “I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what’s happening with you, you’re here to gratify me sexually”. It’s not a compliment, it’s lecherous. Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it. This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable" | |||
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"There's a difference between catcalling and paying a genuine heartfelt compliment. I've never had a problem with e.g. female work colleagues saying something like "new hairdo, it looks great!" without it sounding like a comeon. Catcalls are for morons. They're not compliments. They're a thing that makes the guy giving them think he's a stud and she should be grateful. " | |||
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"I see it as sexual harassment. It’s sexualising a person against her wishes and is a misogynistic claim of ownership over a woman’s body; “I don’t care who you are, how old you are or what’s happening with you, you’re here to gratify me sexually”. It’s not a compliment, it’s lecherous. Some people may take it as a compliment but a huge amount won’t and will feel uncomfortable or threatened by it. This is one of the problematic behaviours that guys need to let others know that are unacceptable" | |||
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"Just to add more, as I'm not one for shutting up. Regardless of the intention of the caller, the fact is that they have absolutely no right to he passing comment on someone's body, as though it were a public commodity and they certainly have no idea of a woman's previous experience with such matters. Locally, a 13 year old girl was catcalled by 2 young men on her way back from school (in uniform) and when she didn't respond how they wanted, they spat at her. How awful for that poor girl. So imagine how she'll feel the next time it happens to her, and it undoubtedly will. " For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level. If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"? | |||
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" For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level. If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"? " Absolutely. Once entitlement has beem established, then it's often a slippery slope to worse actions as the climate which own it has been allowed to thrive. The police officer who murdered Sarah Everard had exposed himself a few days before abducting her. Another behaviour that women are told to laugh off as just dirty old men. It's so important that these lower level acts of harrassmemt are properly stamped on and men are held accountable for their actions. | |||
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" For me the problem is that allowing what is essentially low level sexual harassment to pass unchallenged, gives a certain type of person license to take things to a next level. If "this" is ok, then what's wrong with "this"? Absolutely. Once entitlement has beem established, then it's often a slippery slope to worse actions as the climate which own it has been allowed to thrive. The police officer who murdered Sarah Everard had exposed himself a few days before abducting her. Another behaviour that women are told to laugh off as just dirty old men. It's so important that these lower level acts of harrassmemt are properly stamped on and men are held accountable for their actions. " I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure. | |||
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" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure." They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it". Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on. | |||
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" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure. They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it". Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on." Yup I lived near a girl's school growing up, and stuff in this realm was not taken at all seriously. We needed to be less sensitive. Grown men hung around a girl's school for sexual kicks (I'm not detailing what they did, nothing to me), this was known for decades, and the community attitude was to laugh it off. I hope we've moved the fuck on, because that's fucking disturbing. | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. " You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. " Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman " ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. " It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? | |||
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"My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff. She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment. To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life. " We're taught that to be tough, we laugh it off and live with it. Even be one of the cool kids by defending men. Be fun, don't be uptight, don't be sensitive. It's the 21st century for the love of God. Enough. | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? " I disagree | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? I disagree " With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important. If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs? | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. " And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? | |||
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"My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff. She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment. To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life. We're taught that to be tough, we laugh it off and live with it. Even be one of the cool kids by defending men. Be fun, don't be uptight, don't be sensitive. It's the 21st century for the love of God. Enough." I must admit I was shocked at the time, that some women runners were ok about it. When the guy stopped her in Town I wanted to call the Police as she was really upset and it shook her up. He gets to walk around and do it again but my ex wife has to change her routine to avoid it happening again. I couldn’t even run with her as we had a small child at the time. | |||
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"My ex wife would go out for a run, the longer the run the more she’d get some sort of comment or cars/ vans slowing down to shout at her. Once she was running through our local town and a guy literally stood in front of her to stop her running to tell her how pretty she looked in her gym stuff. She’s training for a marathon, not putting herself out there to be admired and it would affect her running routine trying to find the best routes and times to avoid idiots who feel they have a right to harass and if she takes it badly, she’s in the wrong and can’t take a compliment. To add I put this same comment a few years ago on a running forum, about women being harassed whilst out running. I was surprised by the amount of women who defended the guys and said she should ‘just put up with it or even man up about it’ so I’m not surprised that some women aren’t that bothered and see it as just part of life. We're taught that to be tough, we laugh it off and live with it. Even be one of the cool kids by defending men. Be fun, don't be uptight, don't be sensitive. It's the 21st century for the love of God. Enough. I must admit I was shocked at the time, that some women runners were ok about it. When the guy stopped her in Town I wanted to call the Police as she was really upset and it shook her up. He gets to walk around and do it again but my ex wife has to change her routine to avoid it happening again. I couldn’t even run with her as we had a small child at the time. " Yeah. Other people hassling us is our fault, our burden to handle. As it ever was | |||
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" I don’t think that women are encouraged to laugh off indecent exposure. They are. Every time my local paper covers an incident here, people are tagging their mates in it for "batz" and there's always people saying "In my day we called them dirty old men and just waved our little fingers at them. No harm done" etc. Or there'll be men saying "Not like he touched her or anything, get over it". Unsolicited dick-pics are also a form of indecent exposure and women get them all the time and are ridiculed for objecting to them and simply told to delete, block and move on." I’ll have to respectfully disagree on the indecent exposure point. Report to police and see how seriously it is taken. If people suggest that no harm is done and doesn’t report it then that is their failing. The fact that the local paper covers it suggests that it is taken seriously. | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)?" It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. " Yes. And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we? | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. Yes. And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we? " It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women). We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"... | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. Yes. And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we? It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women). We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"... " Actually this does work and the younger guys I work with think it’s the sort of behaviour that older dirty old men do. Rather than something they feel should be copied and carried on, like some sort of rite of passage. | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. Yes. And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we? It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women). We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"... " Please, do help. We can avoid, we can be tough, we can get through it, but fuck. Don't we deserve better? Don't younger women deserve better? | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. Yes. And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we? It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women). We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"... Please, do help. We can avoid, we can be tough, we can get through it, but fuck. Don't we deserve better? Don't younger women deserve better?" 100%, over the years I've been shocked and angered by the experiences related to me by my daughters (now in their 20s). Especially when these experiences were walking home in their school uniforms. | |||
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"It’s about age old power and control. Throw in a lack of common decency and that’s about it. And even if it's not - that's the effect. Why would anyone risk that, particularly when the target is a younger woman (as they so often are)? It is the effect. Making a teenager nervous to walk down the street, or go to a gym, just doing normal things, it cannot be right. Yes. And telling us to just be less sensitive - no. Why should we? It seems to be another one where men must police other men, to try and change the behaviour (because these men are not listening to the women). We have to say to our mates/work colleagues "nah mate, that's just not acceptable"... Please, do help. We can avoid, we can be tough, we can get through it, but fuck. Don't we deserve better? Don't younger women deserve better? 100%, over the years I've been shocked and angered by the experiences related to me by my daughters (now in their 20s). Especially when these experiences were walking home in their school uniforms." Yup. I'd never tell my dad what I experienced. And isn't that telling. That I'd protect my dad from what happened to me when I needed protection. | |||
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" I’ll have to respectfully disagree on the indecent exposure point. Report to police and see how seriously it is taken. If people suggest that no harm is done and doesn’t report it then that is their failing. The fact that the local paper covers it suggests that it is taken seriously. " Newspapers report things as clickbait. Them reporting on an incident is not an indication of how much it matters or is taken seriously. It is titillation and gets people interacting with their media. In terms of cynerflashing, that isnt even a crime in its own right, so that's how little they care about it. | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? I disagree With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important. If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs? " When did I suggest that my opinion/experience is more valid than anyone else’s? I shared my thoughts, said I didn’t agree with some other views, that’s all. People are allowed to disagree. It used to be quite normal. | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? I disagree With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important. If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs? When did I suggest that my opinion/experience is more valid than anyone else’s? I shared my thoughts, said I didn’t agree with some other views, that’s all. People are allowed to disagree. It used to be quite normal. " I think that this isn’t one of those things where you can disagree or it’s a matter of opinion though. This isn’t pineapple on pizza, this is a form of harassment, we should be listening, not arguing | |||
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"From an incident a few days ago ..... COPIED The Cardiff woman, who wishes to remain anonymous, said she she was cycling down Penarth Road in Cardiff on Saturday when a man pulled alongside her. She said that he told her she should "have a health warning" because her "backside was going to cause an accident". She chased after the driver once again and filmed herself confronting him. In the video, she can be seen asking the driver if he wanted to repeat his comments, he said: "I said, you're going to cause an accident." The woman replied: "You are disgusting, it is despicable, I am just here, riding, and you are sexually harassing me on the street." She told WalesOnline that this was the second incident of sexual harassment that she received that afternoon... So did she over react ? I don't think so..... yes both men and women like to be thought of as attractive but making lewd comments , as men do, to women day in day out in ever aspect of their lives is done for no other reason that to exert power or to at least delude themselves that they are entitled to sex. It does no less than diminish women as humans and makes them simply alive for male pleasure. Now ... try to take the above in the context it's intended. Do I think sexualised behaviour between adults is wrong ... course not. Giving and getting the come on in social gatherings is great. Meeting someone 'nice' and striking up a rapor even in the supermarket is great ... Not in work thanks. I'm a professional and not in every day life as I go about my business with grandchildren , workmen etc ..... Got to say that some blokes will be too scared to flirt soon but then ...... Cat calling isn't about flirting it's about diminishing women. Keep the two separate. You are mixing up intent and consequence. You state as fact that catcalling is about “diminishing women”. No, it’s about some eejit shooting something in front of his mates (usually), knowing that he hasn’t a hope in hell with her, hoping at best for a smile or a wink. I can obviously see how it can be uncomfortable to be on the receiving end, but the object is not to diminish women. Catcalling has happened to me several times, mainly when I lived in New York, mainly gay men. Were they trying to “diminish” me in any way? No. They were sounding me out to see if I’d be interested. A laugh, smile, a no thanks or a quick chat always ended amicably. But I completely recognise that things can escalate, particularly if the recipient aims to humiliate the shouter (no, this is not “victim shaming”), and the shouter becomes offensive. And the number of catcalls that I had, from men and women, have been infrequent enough to have novelty value. Pretty sure I can make it to Waitrose and back on a normal day without interruption. Without being rude, your experience as a man is vastly different from that of a woman ... as I acknowledged. But my pint stands, I simply don’t accept that the objective of catcalling is to “diminish women”. It may not be the intent but it’s the result. If a person is just being broken down to a body to leer at, how does it not diminish them? I disagree With all due respect, read the other posts. It’s not about your opinion, it’s about how women feel about it that’s important. If women say that it diminishes them, then how can you possibly argue with that? Is your experience more valid than theirs? When did I suggest that my opinion/experience is more valid than anyone else’s? I shared my thoughts, said I didn’t agree with some other views, that’s all. People are allowed to disagree. It used to be quite normal. I think that this isn’t one of those things where you can disagree or it’s a matter of opinion though. This isn’t pineapple on pizza, this is a form of harassment, we should be listening, not arguing" I disagree with catcalling, it’s pretty sad behaviour. Bit i also disagree with the claimed intent. | |||
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"Jimmy you are mixing up intent and consequence there. You state as FACT that men cat call to impress their mates...... blah blah blah ....... You confuse your experiences with mine... There is room for many schools of thought without resorting to informal fallacy. " Yes, that fact would not explain, for example, the lone male in a van shouting out the window. He has no mates to impress with him, and must know that the shout is unlikely, in the extreme, to gain him favour with the target. So what is his motivation? | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? " Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/" Sometimes, way, deep down, I wear clothes for my own satisfaction and my own comfort. By sometimes I mean always. | |||
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"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/" Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/" | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Quote ...... You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her... Unquote ....... Revealing = A word only used about women. Man wears vest. Woman wears revealing top. Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her. Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there. I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it. " Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please ! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Quote ...... You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her... Unquote ....... Revealing = A word only used about women. Man wears vest. Woman wears revealing top. Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her. Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there. I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it. Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please !" Err you literally said that. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is." I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Quote ...... You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her... Unquote ....... Revealing = A word only used about women. Man wears vest. Woman wears revealing top. Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her. Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there. I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it. Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please ! Err you literally said that." no I don't think I did? where ? neither did I infer or imply it.. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up ." Times have changed. | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Quote ...... You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her... Unquote ....... Revealing = A word only used about women. Man wears vest. Woman wears revealing top. Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her. Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there. I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it. Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please ! Err you literally said that. no I don't think I did? where ? neither did I infer or imply it.." I quote: "You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do" Please explain how your words are in any way different in meaning to the paraphrase above. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Although I admitted that I did it in my younger days(although it was never anything crass I was always polite" morning or beautiful day") but grew up. Male bravado and all that, gladly I've learned to be far more respectful not making excuses but it was the mid 80's and it was definitely different times. It's banned on building site's and would probably result in immediate dismissal today. But one thing that did and still does puzzle me is what exactly are guy's thinking will happen. So they see a lady walking down the road and shout various things. Do they honestly think that the woman is going to go weak at the knees and come over and shag them right there and then? Has anyone ever been successful and actually pulled using this method? What does seem strange is that this crass loutish behaviour seems to be permanently acceptable when it's on holiday in shagalouf or marbs. From both sexes I might add. Lastly I can honestly say that these days I rarely even make eye contact with a woman for fear of being branded a pervert." Perfectly not permanently. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . " You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention..." Well sorry for being honest! I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand.. I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Well sorry for being honest! I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand.. I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either! " A lot of women find this threatening and demeaning. Why are they wrong? Why would you want to make someone feel that way? Why would you want to risk it? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Although I admitted that I did it in my younger days(although it was never anything crass I was always polite" morning or beautiful day") but grew up. Male bravado and all that, gladly I've learned to be far more respectful not making excuses but it was the mid 80's and it was definitely different times. It's banned on building site's and would probably result in immediate dismissal today. But one thing that did and still does puzzle me is what exactly are guy's thinking will happen. So they see a lady walking down the road and shout various things. Do they honestly think that the woman is going to go weak at the knees and come over and shag them right there and then? Has anyone ever been successful and actually pulled using this method? What does seem strange is that this crass loutish behaviour seems to be permanently acceptable when it's on holiday in shagalouf or marbs. From both sexes I might add. Lastly I can honestly say that these days I rarely even make eye contact with a woman for fear of being branded a pervert. Perfectly not permanently." the last part of this is the most worrying 'fear' instilled into people and as you say very mixed messages..why should people be so frightened if each other , what they should be doing is just getting along surely? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Well sorry for being honest! I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand.. I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either! A lot of women find this threatening and demeaning. Why are they wrong? Why would you want to make someone feel that way? Why would you want to risk it?" risk what? are you confusing me with someone else ? I am referring to looking at a pretty woman and admiring from afar? no one knows it is aware so I don't see the harm? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Well sorry for being honest! I am not part if the woke generation and find quite a lot of this stuff very hard to understand.. I'm not refusing to acknowledge..but understand I'm not saying they are right either! A lot of women find this threatening and demeaning. Why are they wrong? Why would you want to make someone feel that way? Why would you want to risk it? risk what? are you confusing me with someone else ? I am referring to looking at a pretty woman and admiring from afar? no one knows it is aware so I don't see the harm?" The thread is about catcalling, and I'm pretty sure your OP referred to staring. That can be disconcerting too. If we're doing "if you ban catcalling and staring like an animal, then men can't even admire a pretty lady without being shot in the high street" sort of stuff, then let's not. Catcalling is bad. Staring is bad. Being circumspect is good - we don't necessarily want or need your opinions on us. (And yeah that does go both ways and yeah I do practice this in my own life) | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention..." I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention..." Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. " So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance " This has always been a problem. It's just now it's acceptable to make men aware of it... | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ?" I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Quote ...... You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her... Unquote ....... Revealing = A word only used about women. Man wears vest. Woman wears revealing top. Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her. Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there. I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it. Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please ! Err you literally said that. no I don't think I did? where ? neither did I infer or imply it.. I quote: "You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do" Please explain how your words are in any way different in meaning to the paraphrase above." firstly I never mentioned men in my post you did? secondly I said women enjoy men looking at them..some clearly do if the profile pictures on fab are anything to go by..the hey word there was 'look' by the way. ' asking for it ' refers I believe to someone who is physically attacked because if they way they look it how they are dressed it doesn't refer to a guy looking at a pretty woman and as the Americans might say 'checking her out' or is that now a crime too ? | |||
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"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? " 100% the same. Love it but no touching or really crude stuff x | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
" Quote ...... You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at her... Unquote ....... Revealing = A word only used about women. Man wears vest. Woman wears revealing top. Woman in Short skirt = revealing to get people to look at her. Man in shorts = sensible it's hot out there. I've NEVER heard anyone say ..... He's wearing T shirt and Shorts..... he's fucking asking for it. Hey!kindly reread my post at no stage did I even suggest that..kindly keep the feminist attacks off me please ! Err you literally said that. no I don't think I did? where ? neither did I infer or imply it.. I quote: "You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do" Please explain how your words are in any way different in meaning to the paraphrase above. firstly I never mentioned men in my post you did? secondly I said women enjoy men looking at them..some clearly do if the profile pictures on fab are anything to go by..the hey word there was 'look' by the way. ' asking for it ' refers I believe to someone who is physically attacked because if they way they look it how they are dressed it doesn't refer to a guy looking at a pretty woman and as the Americans might say 'checking her out' or is that now a crime too ?" I did not say the man bit - I quoted you and asked you to clarify why it's different from what Granny said. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ? I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive." I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe? | |||
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance " What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. " I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"What are your thoughts on it? I personally don’t mind it (depending), some situations I’ve liked the attention. Having men shout I’m beautiful or sexy. Does give me a confidence boost. Not going to complain!! but crude comments, the ones who have gotten aggressive, either followed or touched me.. not keen on With the hot weather I’ve been getting it a lot being dressed in skimpier outfits. So I’m sure many other women are too. Do you like to or hate it? " The problem is that guys will never know who does and doesn't enjoy it. Unfortunately it gives 'permission' to do it to all women regardless. It'll come down to the place and context whether this type of flirting is acceptable. Just walking down a street minding your own business is never going to be one of those. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
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Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks " We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better. You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks " I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day. I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke"" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! " It’s predatory behaviour that’s why. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! " You can sense when someone is staring. Why is it ok? A woman can feel vulnerable, scared sometimes, anxious, self conscious and so many other things. The trouble is, the person staring doesn’t care about any of that. Their need is greater. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ? I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive. I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe?" Although it was never acceptable, just tolerated with victims along the way. I was never comfortable about it any more than the pornography that was plastered on office walls back then. Using your same argument would you say it was excusable to have black slav**y because it was just how it was then? I know you haven't mentioned this and it's a more extreme example, but it's the same logic. So where would you draw the line? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! " If no one knows there's no issue. That's what circumspect means. Feminism isn't an insult, a slur, or a fairy tale, it's a social movement. Just as much as "back in my day we didn't have to put up with any of this nonsense" is. Your perspective is not the arbiter of reality. If someone feels threatened by something, their feelings are not a feminist fairy tale. If you do something which makes someone feel threatened, you should do better. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! If no one knows there's no issue. That's what circumspect means. Feminism isn't an insult, a slur, or a fairy tale, it's a social movement. Just as much as "back in my day we didn't have to put up with any of this nonsense" is. Your perspective is not the arbiter of reality. If someone feels threatened by something, their feelings are not a feminist fairy tale. If you do something which makes someone feel threatened, you should do better." | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day. I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it. " you have just created a scenario based on your personal experience would you say? one that is linked directly to your teenage daughter..naturally you are going to feel that way about protecting her. She will learn lives lessons in exactly the same way as we all have had to making her choices and weighing up options ,decisions good and bad and of course what she feels is right or wrong..its a tough journey I certainly wouldn't want to do it again ! I am not accepting of men being overly lecherous at all .I said it went on in my day that's the 1980s and no one seemed too upset by it then . I said I found it strange that the situation had changed over the years and I felt it didn't quite sit right with me about how something that was basically quite innocent could potentially ruin someones life..or at least that's what I have been trying to say ..Im neither condoning it condemning his men are some men..it's just how it is I guess ..I repeat I don't do it. In fact I'm a real gentleman where women are concerned and always have been throughout my life. Perhaps seeing them as the 'gentler sex' I am not going to deny that I am guilty of that but still everyone is very much equal to me as far as gender goes for sure ( though all that's now changing too).So who knows in the future what will be seen as acceptable of not. I jet think ts easy to escalate things too far and these days peoples pasts catch up with them..its just sad if someone's career is damage because someone reported them for something like this..I guess I'm saying balance and perspective maybe rather than vilification and a future ruined.. just my thoughts obviously . | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! If no one knows there's no issue. That's what circumspect means. Feminism isn't an insult, a slur, or a fairy tale, it's a social movement. Just as much as "back in my day we didn't have to put up with any of this nonsense" is. Your perspective is not the arbiter of reality. If someone feels threatened by something, their feelings are not a feminist fairy tale. If you do something which makes someone feel threatened, you should do better." I'm not disagreeing with you but what if you do something no one is aware of and therefore can't be ofended by? which was my original point..sadly one that people have blown right out of proportion by seizing on one part of my post and focussing on that alone.Which was quite disappointing as I was having quite a nice day. Have a good evening | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ? I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive. I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe? Although it was never acceptable, just tolerated with victims along the way. I was never comfortable about it any more than the pornography that was plastered on office walls back then. Using your same argument would you say it was excusable to have black slav**y because it was just how it was then? I know you haven't mentioned this and it's a more extreme example, but it's the same logic. So where would you draw the line? " I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day. I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it. you have just created a scenario based on your personal experience would you say? one that is linked directly to your teenage daughter..naturally you are going to feel that way about protecting her. She will learn lives lessons in exactly the same way as we all have had to making her choices and weighing up options ,decisions good and bad and of course what she feels is right or wrong..its a tough journey I certainly wouldn't want to do it again ! I am not accepting of men being overly lecherous at all .I said it went on in my day that's the 1980s and no one seemed too upset by it then . I said I found it strange that the situation had changed over the years and I felt it didn't quite sit right with me about how something that was basically quite innocent could potentially ruin someones life..or at least that's what I have been trying to say ..Im neither condoning it condemning his men are some men..it's just how it is I guess ..I repeat I don't do it. In fact I'm a real gentleman where women are concerned and always have been throughout my life. Perhaps seeing them as the 'gentler sex' I am not going to deny that I am guilty of that but still everyone is very much equal to me as far as gender goes for sure ( though all that's now changing too).So who knows in the future what will be seen as acceptable of not. I jet think ts easy to escalate things too far and these days peoples pasts catch up with them..its just sad if someone's career is damage because someone reported them for something like this..I guess I'm saying balance and perspective maybe rather than vilification and a future ruined.. just my thoughts obviously ." Why are you lumping catcalling/ wolf whistling and lecherous staring in with looking and not being seen? Why are you lumping "that's a creepy thing to do and makes people feel bad, don't" in with "ruined lives"? Why are our perspectives, or our feelings about relatives, less valid than yours? | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks I have never leaned out of a car window to stare at a boy in his school uniform. Men do it to girls every day. I didn’t accuse you of doing it but you are accepting of it and in my opinion it’s just as bad. I have a teenage girl and I know first hand what she goes through. Opinions like some of these are vile. A teenager on the street doesn’t get a choice, it is wrong, it shouldn’t happen and women shouldn’t have to accept it. you have just created a scenario based on your personal experience would you say? one that is linked directly to your teenage daughter..naturally you are going to feel that way about protecting her. She will learn lives lessons in exactly the same way as we all have had to making her choices and weighing up options ,decisions good and bad and of course what she feels is right or wrong..its a tough journey I certainly wouldn't want to do it again ! I am not accepting of men being overly lecherous at all .I said it went on in my day that's the 1980s and no one seemed too upset by it then . I said I found it strange that the situation had changed over the years and I felt it didn't quite sit right with me about how something that was basically quite innocent could potentially ruin someones life..or at least that's what I have been trying to say ..Im neither condoning it condemning his men are some men..it's just how it is I guess ..I repeat I don't do it. In fact I'm a real gentleman where women are concerned and always have been throughout my life. Perhaps seeing them as the 'gentler sex' I am not going to deny that I am guilty of that but still everyone is very much equal to me as far as gender goes for sure ( though all that's now changing too).So who knows in the future what will be seen as acceptable of not. I jet think ts easy to escalate things too far and these days peoples pasts catch up with them..its just sad if someone's career is damage because someone reported them for something like this..I guess I'm saying balance and perspective maybe rather than vilification and a future ruined.. just my thoughts obviously ." I mentioned my daughter but this is not isolated to her or her friends. This is rife. It makes them feel awful. I don’t need a life lesson on what she does and does not need to do. Men need to behave and control themselves. They do not have the right to make others uncomfortable. I notice you use the word ‘overly’ lecherous. So moderately lecherous towards people is ok? Who decides what overly is. You? Each individual? We already know that doesn’t work. I worked in the 80s and I was upset by the behaviour but women couldn’t speak out. I was young and had a 40 something year old boss who would say ‘Babs, have you got something wet and warm for me’ when he wanted a cup of tea. We put up with it because we had no choice. It’s disgusting. Don’t think that women enjoyed just because it wasn’t tackled. Things should be better by now but they aren’t because too many people are accepting of it. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! It’s predatory behaviour that’s why. " we are all predators in some way or another though it's our most base if instincts ..you are a predator yourself simply by being on Fab..think about that for a second | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better. You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't." It is to a lot of people. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) |
"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better. You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't. It is to a lot of people." I'm sure some people would love to have their arse grabbed in public by strangers, without warning. We don't do that - because lots of people consider that assault. Huh. how about that | |||
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"I never cease to be amazed by the energy men will put info exusing and downplaying predatory male behaviour. Imagine if they put the same amount of energy into calling out misogyny from the male family, peers and colleagues. Just imagine that." Soooo much... | |||
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"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... Then you weren't in the same one as me! I was there from 82 and there was a very sexist environment then..particularly towards women as I recall.. Also I made it very clear I do not and did not shout at women..I never would but I know plenty who did and still do! What I am saying is people need to be a bit more sensible about all this stuff or it will soon come to the point where no one can say anything to each other for fear if upsetting them..my skin is thick enough to handle someone disagreeing with me because I'm used to it.Everyone needs to develop a thick skin to absorb things like this ..the next generation are going to get heart attacks if someone sits down and tells them something they don't like to hear ..which is quite worrying when you think about it. You haven't failed your kids .However, what I would say is don't make something like this out to be a heinous crime because it isn't.. all a matter of balance What do you need a thick skin for? Sexual harassment? Verbal abuse on the streets? Fear of walking alone because men shout and leer at you? Where is the line? More to the point is it a male or female that decides where that line is? Men so often justify their behaviour as just a bit of fun, having a laugh, paying a woman a compliment. All I hear is selfish, inconsiderate and rude when they say that. Grown men ogling and shouting at girls basically. It’s obscene, and I hope my child never gets a thick skin for that crap. I hope she tackles it and challenges it. A mans needs for self gratification is not and never should have been at the expense of a woman on the receiving end. I'm not going to keep saying this because people can not read! I have not said ever that I cat call..clear? secondly ogling a female is instinct and what every animal on the planet does .if it's from afar and not intrusive I do not see a problem in it? Do you? thanks We live in society. We override our instincts every day. We learn, we do better. You now know it's a problem, it upsets people. Be circumspect if you look. Don't call wolf whistling innocent - it isn't. It is to a lot of people. I'm sure some people would love to have their arse grabbed in public by strangers, without warning. We don't do that - because lots of people consider that assault. Huh. how about that" But that’s not a wolf whistle. | |||
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"Unfortunately I come from an era where cat calling and wolf whistling was seen as both complimentary and a bit of fun.Lots of men did it and a lot ( not all)women enjoyed the ego boost! These days unfortunately an innocent wolf whistle has been skewed to mean all sorts of negative things because people can't stop being horrible to each other or suddenly decide a certain action is now ' unacceptable' I never did wolf whistle or cat call in my youth. I did and still do look at women and stare. You are going to tell me a woman who wears a revealing top or very short dress does not want people to look at them? I think deep down they do..but in a safe and none invasive way .Unfortunately now its called 'perving' and people get called out for it which is wrong in my opinion . The jury is out for me..if I see a pretty /fit/sexy woman out and about I am going to look at them , their face , boobs the whole body in detail ..because I like to see a pretty woman on a nice sunny day it cheers up my day no end I'm not threatening you I'm not invading your space. I'm just admiring what you appear quite happy to let me see..it probably boosts your ego to do it? So we both gain something as I see it. sadly regardless of how I see it someone can be arrested for it which shows how frightened of each other as a society we have become unfortunately and possibly that I am becoming a bit of a fossil who is sometimes finding the world a bit hard to understand these days :/ Wow. So not only have you ignored the many women on this post who have stated that cat calling, you've also imposed your own opinion on whether they enjoy being looked at - male privilege 101. I dress for myself, I like to feel good. Sometimes people will look, sometimes they will pass a compliment- that's OK. But whistling? No, I'm not a dog so don't treat me as one. There's a huge difference between subtle appreciation and boundary crossing harrassment and it seems that you, like many other men either don't understand or care where that line is. I disagree and you have manipulated what I said whilst completely ignoring my meaning..which is a bit of a cheap shot frankly! I also said I was from a different age where people thought and acted differently which you also ignored..and finally who do you like to look good for? people have dressed in the way they do for generations to attract attention good and bad..sometimes to shock sometimes to attract and quite often to set a new style or standard.Years ago I had a pink and green mohawk and wore safety pins..because I wanted people to look..everyone dresses for themselves and for others.please forgive me if I and anyone else looks a but did to the woke generation but that's just how we were brought up . You're only two years older than me. I certainly was not brought up to shout and leer at women (and I joined the Army at 16, it doesn't get much more "blokey"). I've always known that the vast majority of women do not welcome or encourage it. Where I have failed is in not realising the amount of it that goes on. It's really been driven home talking with my daughters. It's a bit rich to complain about manipulating people's meaning, when you refuse to acknowledge the posts above explaining all this. But insist that women all dress to attract your attention... I agree. I was brought up to be polite, open doors for women and offer them my seat on public transport. Definitely not to harass them. So was I and still do .I think some if you have not read my post .I never said I harassed anyone ? I'm afraid you have in not so many words by referring an "innocent wolf whistle". It's not and never has been innocent and just doesn't reflect an appreciation of the impact it can have on others. It's really no different to sticking up a finger or two to someone as both can be regarded as offensive. I'm really sorry to labour the point . I can agree to an extent but surely its how it's interpreted that counts too ?not just what happens? so if we are brought up to see society in one way and then suddenly someone changes what was originally fairly acceptable into not being acceptable..sometimes that just creates fear that probably should not be there and is more toxic and negative than perhaps the act itself maybe? Although it was never acceptable, just tolerated with victims along the way. I was never comfortable about it any more than the pornography that was plastered on office walls back then. Using your same argument would you say it was excusable to have black slav**y because it was just how it was then? I know you haven't mentioned this and it's a more extreme example, but it's the same logic. So where would you draw the line? I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it " I don't have an agenda. The point I'm making is that there's a misunderstanding between what was acceptable and what was reluctantly tolerated until some people with guts called it out for what it was. If 'woke' means anything, it's that people have woken up to what was wrong. | |||
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" I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it " The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying. Dozens of people can’t all be wrong. | |||
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"Bit cringey in my opinion but reading from some of the replies here, maybe some women enjoy it as long as it doesn't cross the line." Where's the line drawn? | |||
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" I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying. Dozens of people can’t all be wrong." Except for the ones who think otherwise. | |||
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"Bit cringey in my opinion but reading from some of the replies here, maybe some women enjoy it as long as it doesn't cross the line." But who decides where the line is and how would you know? | |||
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" I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying. Dozens of people can’t all be wrong. Except for the ones who think otherwise." Who think otherwise in what sense? | |||
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"The point I'm making is that there's a misunderstanding between what was acceptable and what was reluctantly tolerated until some people with guts called it out for what it was. If 'woke' means anything, it's that people have woken up to what was wrong." *Standing ovation* | |||
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" I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying. Dozens of people can’t all be wrong. Except for the ones who think otherwise. Who think otherwise in what sense? " Looking further up the thread, you might find women who don’t mind a wolf whistle. | |||
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" I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying. Dozens of people can’t all be wrong. Except for the ones who think otherwise. Who think otherwise in what sense? Looking further up the thread, you might find women who don’t mind a wolf whistle." Yeah, I’ve read the thread, I suggest you read my post where I also explained I don’t hate it nor do I love it. My post is about a specific persons comments and how nobody seems to agree with his several posts, not about *just* wolf whistling… hope that clears up any confusion. | |||
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" I'm really sorry but I'm not going there ! you are about to head off in your own agenda which is not anything to do with my original point so I'm having no part of it The fact that absolutely nobody on this thread seems to be agreeing with you should tell you there’s something wrong with what you’re saying. Dozens of people can’t all be wrong. Except for the ones who think otherwise. Who think otherwise in what sense? Looking further up the thread, you might find women who don’t mind a wolf whistle. Yeah, I’ve read the thread, I suggest you read my post where I also explained I don’t hate it nor do I love it. My post is about a specific persons comments and how nobody seems to agree with his several posts, not about *just* wolf whistling… hope that clears up any confusion. " No confusion here, but thanks for the heads up. | |||
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"Nothing wrong with a wolf whistle lots of women like it and its always been a thing. A bit of flirting is ok." It’s not flirting. Do you know the woman likes it before you do it? Do you know she’s not a schoolgirl/teenager? | |||
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"Nothing wrong with a wolf whistle lots of women like it and its always been a thing. A bit of flirting is ok." And what about those who don't like it? | |||
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"Funny how women asserting themselves is a "feminis: attack" and women expressing how certain actions make us feel uncomfortable is "woke" asserting themselves is a very dangerous ground to be on when the need to do it is more kinked with being feminist than realist. I can not see how a man looking at you from a distance is a problem? genuinely am interested to know why you think it is? when no one knows , no one is harmed and everyones life carries on exactly as it did the moment before.. over to you ! It’s predatory behaviour that’s why. we are all predators in some way or another though it's our most base if instincts ..you are a predator yourself simply by being on Fab..think about that for a second" No. Just no. You cannot and will not transfer your thoughts on to my behaviour. That is transference of the lowest order. Me being on fab, is in no way predatory, quite the opposite. I am in a space, with other people, where mutual appreciation and boundaries exist. People can block, and manage their profile right down to interactions they are comfortable with. How is that the same as being cat-called in the street? Implying that being on here is predatory is to state the women on here are vulnerable, whilst I will concede some people may be vulnerable. Everyone is here through choice and either invites (or does not) attention, context is key. I will flip this on the head by way of an example, imagine you were a straight guy walking down a street in shorts and a vest (it’s summer), you know you are walking through a completely gay neighbourhood (please don’t get upset, I’m trying to illustrate a point) everyone around you is gay and some are looking at you, some are calling out to you. How do you feel? Intimidated? You will say no, no doubt. Now imagine a group of 6ft+ body builders turn their attention to you. You know you couldn’t over power them. How do you feel now? | |||
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"The concept of consent is really just completely alien to some people, isn't it. " So much | |||
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