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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In society today i feel that our morals are changing when it comes to sex, the discorevy of the internet and relaxed laws on sex itself has aloud us to be more sexually expressive!! our old victorian christian morals have changed for the better i feel. But my issue is around peoples _iews on cheating!! is it right or is it wrong, see on one hand if relationship is starved of sex!! which is never a main reason to split with a partner! is it ok to seek sex elsewhere!! or is it frowned upon because of the honesty and trust side with the partner!! we all keep our own little secrets in life, but is it too bigger secret to deal with! will guilt be to much to take!! im curious to what others think?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if you are going behind your partners back to seek out sex you are cheating. In my _iew it would never be acceptable.
Show your partner some respect, talk your issues through, if need be and you feel sex is more important than the love you have for each other leave the partner. Going behind the back of someone you 'love' is just morally wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if you are going behind your partners back to seek out sex you are cheating. In my _iew it would never be acceptable.
Show your partner some respect, talk your issues through, if need be and you feel sex is more important than the love you have for each other leave the partner. Going behind the back of someone you 'love' is just morally wrong"
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I personally think it is wrong but I have no problem with others doing it as it is none of my concern what goes on in someone else's marriage.
I don't want to be involved. I was once and never again.
If someone chooses to swing then I believe they should note their profile accordingly so as to allow others to make an informed choice..
but a small pet hate of mine is when they talk about their husband/wife in a disrespectful way to justify why they are choosing to swing... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i came accross a lady who is in a similar situation!! she lives near to me! but she wanted make sure i didn't go to the same pub as her how close i was! as her partner could find out and if i recognised her! it seems alot of going out your way to have a sexual encounter!! which can't be alot of fun in my eyes!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im quite unbending on this, if you are unhappy with something in your relationship you need to sort it out.
Surely if you cant get a fair hearing from ur mrs (or mr) then thats reason to finish things...... If not having sex is reason to cheat and cheating is reason enough to get divorced (or in any otherway finish things) then the partner needs to know that the relationship is failing.....If she (or he) is to unbending to take account of your needs then they and you have some decisions to make (including a discussion about if its ok to get some somewhere else.....)
If you dont have the nutz to front up to have that (admittedly dificult conversation) then you dont realy have any place to ask for respectt. After all, we dont realy care if you get divorced so we are the wrong people to be 'honest' with.
I did say i was unbending on this...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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said and done with relationships and leaving so called partners! but some people find it hard to move out of a relationship! there are always burning issue's which don't involve just sex!! |
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If you're in a relationship with someone, you're in a position to care for their well-being, that's during as well as after you may separate.
Cheating can leave people devastated, potentially to the point of suicide, even if a partner has cleared off with their new mate. So, worst case, someone takes their lives, due to one partner having some sex etc. Life's too precious to inflict such a sad loss onto others, and to have pushed someone over the edge. We've lost 2 kids, and the pain for parents is something that does not ever go away. I couldn't face myself if an ex ever took their life, and their family and friends were left without their loved one.
It's easy not to cheat, if you have backbone and take the right decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A relationship isnt just about sex.
Its about helping each other, caring for one another, but most of all loving one another.
To throw that all away for a quick shag with someone is just plain stupidity and disrespectful.
As said above, swinging is sharing and about being open with each other.
Playing with each other and sharing the experience with others can be fun if your relationship is strong. |
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personally speaking if i was in a relationship where my partner cud no longer provide me with sex for wot eva reason cheating wud be the furthest thought from my mind. I would be more concerned about his welfare, how this lack of ability to perform for wot eva reason was affecting him, his self esteem and his confidence.
We would chat about the problem and try together to find a resolution to ensure both of us could once again be happy and fulfilled. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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so if it is the case they should be honest or leave!! why do people still cheat but stay with there partner!! is the seperation between love and sex enough!! so they need there sexual fix that there partner doesnt give them,so they meet up do the business but go home to there loved ones!! i should watch jeremy kyle more i'm sure this happens in every episode! |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
To me the issue lies within the concept of honesty and openness - cheating is only cheating if there is an unsuspecting partner. I would not knowingly get involved with a married guy as I would not want to be at the receiving end of a phone call when his wife/ partner finds out. I would not ever judge anybody for committing what others call cheating though if that is what they need to do to meet their needs - we can only ever guess what it feels like to be that person and we dont know what reasons drives them to seeing other people. Besides, it is none of my business what other people do and I am not anybody's conscience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think your cheating on your question mark button, blatently fliuncing about with exclamation mark, having all the fun you can. Poor old question mark is just sitting there wondering when its gonna get even a cheeky feel from your fingertips.
What makes it worse is that your grabbing exclamation from right behind question marks back, then swinging it all around with no reagard as to how quwstion mark is feeling.  |
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"is it right or is it wrong, see on one hand if relationship is starved of sex!! which is never a main reason to split with a partner!"
Maybe to you (and to many) that's not a reason, but my ex partner of 6 years, for reasons still known only to him, suddenly went off sex. We had no sex life at all, none.. for a year and nothing was changing... To me, sex is a major part of a relationship and when he was happy to live without it, I wasn't, so I ended the relationship. I could have cheated, but that's just not me.
"is it ok to seek sex elsewhere!! or is it frowned upon because of the honesty and trust side with the partner!!"
People are free to do what they want.. Personally I couldn't have. If and when I'm in a relationship it's about trust and honesty, so for me, it's not ok, but each to their own.
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By *andKCouple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
"if you are going behind your partners back to seek out sex you are cheating. In my _iew it would never be acceptable.
Show your partner some respect, talk your issues through, if need be and you feel sex is more important than the love you have for each other leave the partner. Going behind the back of someone you 'love' is just morally wrong"
exactly our take on affairs (no pun intended) |
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"Im quite unbending on this, if you are unhappy with something in your relationship you need to sort it out.
"
Yep..if your relationship has hit the skids then work it out..fucking around behind your partners backs isnt going to solve anything..its not a cure..nor is swinging, some people get involved to save their marriage, if it works, great..if it doesnt you would have taken about 50 steps backwards..a strong trusting relationship is certainly a prerequisite. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it would never happen. if the sex was crap I wouldn't even be in that relationship! ;)
Wolf
"
I would also have the balls to be up front about it as well, least you could dofor someone you 'love' |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I would only politely suggest that it we should not condemn people based on what we "know" about them - some people stay with their partners after the partner has been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I dont think we should condemn those people into a life of celibacy or being labelled as cheats. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I end any relationship I'm not happy in-I dont find the want or need to be mistrusted or hated, probably a good reason why I have several ex's I can call friends still(some even without benefits kinds)-being 100% true to myself is important to me, even if it comes across as cold,cynical and logical to others..I just dont give a reason to be hated.Cheating doesnt sit well in my own persona...dont really care who else does it tho..I just know why I like me, and why I'd like others liking me.If u want people to respect u later in life..its best to be fair and honest with them at the time..rather simply living for that instant gratification of getting shags behind ur partners back. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"It's quite strange that more women than men, seem to have an opinion on this subject matter!!!???!!!"
Not really. Women seem to reply to threads like this more than men anyway. A lot of the 'single' men on the site aren't single and so would not comment on a thread like this if their response might expose them. It is 'easier' for women to say on their profile that they are married and playing because the ratios favour women. I could go on but it's all just my observation so I'll shut up now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex behind someone's back is cheating. No question. We are all adults, talk amounts yourselfs. Tell the truth, you never know they be up for arranging meets for each other. We have done that and it is fun.
Honestly is the best option. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was trying to be ironic about the female to male ratio on this subject matter!
Sorry, it's still too hot for me to do the ironying  "
I don't mind if you do it naked!
I always do mine in the buff thats why my little man is crease free  |
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"if you are going behind your partners back to seek out sex you are cheating. In my _iew it would never be acceptable.
Show your partner some respect, talk your issues through, if need be and you feel sex is more important than the love you have for each other leave the partner. Going behind the back of someone you 'love' is just morally wrong"
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"If only conversation resolved everything
I think a lot of people just see it as black and white.... which sometimes it isn't..............."
Life is rarely black and white....... but choices often are.
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