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Why do we fart?
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From a site called "Strange but true"
"Why do beans make you fart?"
Hippocrates said, “Passing gas is necessary to well-being.” Yup, farting is a perfectly natural and unavoidable bodily process and most people produce between 1 and 3 pints per day. But why, oh, why do we do it? Let's see....
We are not alone- around 200 different species of bacteria lurking in your large intestines and bean induced farts are down to these millions of tiny friends in our guts. So what is happening?
Well, when we eat beans, or cabbage, or any other gassy food, it all gets mushed up in our stomach and is passed into the small intestine. Now, the types of sugar found in beans are a bit big to be taken into the body through the walls of the small intestine and we have no enzyme to break them down into more manageable chunks. This means it all ends up in our large intestine where all the bacteria tuck in and start to reproduce to take best advantage of all the yummy food. Unfortunately for us, gas is produced by the bacteria during the breakdown of their dinner - carbon dioxide, hydrogen and some methane is released and escape the body via the only opening available to them. These gases don't smell much, but methane and hydrogen do burn pretty happily, which is why farts can be set alight. However, this is NOT recommended as the gas can ignite backwards up your bum, burning all the trapped gas in your rectum and scorching you in the most painful way imaginable. Imagine having to explain that to the A & E nurse.
On top of all the bacterial gas, some fart gas comes from air that you have swallowed - you'll swallow more if you gorge yourself to fast rather than carefully munching your food. A lot of the gas will be absorbed into the body but in times of stress we tend to rush food and air through the body a bit fast and this makes the farting situation worse. Finally, chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal juices can also produce carbon dioxide that bulk out our farts.
But why are farts stinky? While gas produced by bacteria tends to be in fairly small quantities, it can be especially stinky if you've been eating sulphur containing food, such as cabbages: this is a cause of the silent but deadly warm farts in case you're interested. Hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans are sulphur containing fart components, and even in small amounts are not pleasant. Nitrogen containing compounds such as indole and skatole also add to the characteristic aroma of a fart. Skatole, by the way, happens to be evolutions mighty plan to stop us from eating our own poo, but that is another story.
Fart myths include the belief that women fart less than men. They don't- they just don't tend to enjoy farting in public as much as men. Also there is the claim made by some people that holding farts in is dangerous to the health. This is also a lie but holding them does mean that as soon as you relax you will release all the gas and this could be upsetting if you nod off on the train.
Tony | |||
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Out of curiosity, if you met someone and they was continuously letting of some real stinky rippers.. would you end the meet?
Tony | |||
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"Your body ejects poisons and things it won't need, And these are the things on which you mustn't feed. If your offal smelt tasty, like fresh cherry pie, Then you might eat it, and then you would die. If your offal smells so bad that you kick it off of your plate, You then may survive and may procreate. If ever an animal found its waste in good taste, Evolution has cured that condition post-haste. "Offal is entrails not the contents of your colon | |||
"Your body ejects poisons and things it won't need, And these are the things on which you mustn't feed. If your offal smelt tasty, like fresh cherry pie, Then you might eat it, and then you would die. If your offal smells so bad that you kick it off of your plate, You then may survive and may procreate. If ever an animal found its waste in good taste, Evolution has cured that condition post-haste. "Haha Next time I feel romantic and want to serenade Shaz, I will stand outside the bedroom window and shout that to her
Tony | |||
"Lol wot a thread lol "Soz, it was Sharons idea 
have to blame it on someone!
Tony | |||
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"If mine are bad i can light them. but it is dangerous" Yes it can, have you ever put a light near fluffy socks, and for a few seconds it burns of the lose fluff? Well I had some boxers that was fluffy, and trying to light a fart while in them wasn't a good idea! Was only 15 so I will blame it on the experimental period of youth
Tony | |||
"If mine are bad i can light them. but it is dangerous" Anyone can light their farts ... my mates did it once it was sooooooooo funny, childish and dangerous but soooooooo funny | |||
"Lol wot a thread lol
Soz, it was Sharons idea
have to blame it on someone!
Tony"Yeah yeah well its a great idea Sharon so it must be the ladys idea lol | |||
"Lol wot a thread lol
Soz, it was Sharons idea
have to blame it on someone!
Tony
Yeah yeah well its a great idea Sharon so it must be the ladys idea lol"Now thats not being fair!
Tony | |||
"If mine are bad i can light them. but it is dangerous Yes it can, have you ever put a light near fluffy socks, and for a few seconds it burns of the lose fluff? Well I had some boxers that was fluffy, and trying to light a fart while in them wasn't a good idea! Was only 15 so I will blame it on the experimental period of youth
Tony"You put Vaseline on your bottom to protect it and do it bare arsed. | |||
"Lol wot a thread lol
Soz, it was Sharons idea
have to blame it on someone!
Tony
Yeah yeah well its a great idea Sharon so it must be the ladys idea lol
Now thats not being fair!
Tony"Paaaaaaaaaarp | |||
"Lol wot a thread lol
Soz, it was Sharons idea
have to blame it on someone!
Tony
Yeah yeah well its a great idea Sharon so it must be the ladys idea lol
Now thats not being fair!
Tony
Paaaaaaaaaarp "thought ladies didnt fart | |||
"You put Vaseline on your bottom to protect it and do it bare arsed." Not sure if inflammable but don't Vaseline contain Pure Petroleum jelly?
Tony | |||
Tony | |||
"You put Vaseline on your bottom to protect it and do it bare arsed. Not sure if inflammable but don't Vaseline contain Pure Petroleum jelly?
Tony"well never caught fire so far. must be safe cos they put it on babies bottoms | |||
"Lol wot a thread lol
Soz, it was Sharons idea
have to blame it on someone!
Tony
Yeah yeah well its a great idea Sharon so it must be the ladys idea lol
Now thats not being fair!
Tony
Paaaaaaaaaarp
thought ladies didnt fart"No we botty burp my dear | |||
"So then! If you met someone and they was letting some real bad stinky rippers, would you carry on with the meet and ignore, or go home?
Tony"ID say they'd ave met their match lol | |||
"well never caught fire so far. must be safe cos they put it on babies bottoms" You sound quite an expert on using Vaseline on your arse hole
Tony | |||
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"So then! If you met someone and they was letting some real bad stinky rippers, would you carry on with the meet and ignore, or go home?
Tony
ID say they'd ave met their match lol "Dam good job you are a none-smoker then.. BooM!!
Tony | |||
"well never caught fire so far. must be safe cos they put it on babies bottoms You sound quite an expert on using Vaseline on your arse hole
Tony"Haha | |||
"for farting yeh "   | |||
"for farting yeh "You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony | |||
"So then! If you met someone and they was letting some real bad stinky rippers, would you carry on with the meet and ignore, or go home?
Tony
ID say they'd ave met their match lol
Dam good job you are a none-smoker then.. BooM!!
Tony"Oh yeah uve just reminded me | |||
"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony"Haha my ribs can take no more | |||
"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony"well you never know when you might need it | |||
"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony
Haha my ribs can take no more "i dont fart all the time only with onions | |||
"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony
Haha my ribs can take no more "I think you have been looking at that "Who has the biggest cock on Fabswingers?" thread to much
Tony | |||
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"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony
Haha my ribs can take no more
I think you have been looking at that "Who has the biggest cock on Fabswingers?" thread to much
Tony"its not me with the biggest. is it you? | |||
"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony
Haha my ribs can take no more
I think you have been looking at that "Who has the biggest cock on Fabswingers?" thread to much
Tony
its not me with the biggest. is it you?"Well you might do the biggest farts, after all, you do need Vaseline to help them out.. or just incase you happen to need it for some other lubrication purposes
Tony | |||
"for farting yeh
You keep a jar of Vaseline handy incase you want to fart ?
Tony
Haha my ribs can take no more
I think you have been looking at that "Who has the biggest cock on Fabswingers?" thread to much
Tony
its not me with the biggest. is it you?
Well you might do the biggest farts, after all, you do need Vaseline to help them out.. or just incase you happen to need it for some other lubrication purposes
Tony"you want to try and see how we could use it tony? | |||
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"you want to try and see how we could use it tony? "I would but am afraid if I fart while using Vaseline I might follow threw
Tony | |||
"you want to try and see how we could use it tony?
I would but am afraid if I fart while using Vaseline I might follow threw
Tony"would have to plug it for u | |||
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"Farts and cocks now ... wot more can a girl want lol " Go see the "Favourite thing to shop for" thread
That thread is costing me a fortune at the moment, I wish Shaz wouldn't read the forums!
Wonder if she will settle for a jar of Vaseline instead!
Tony | |||
"I fart cos it feels great (should have been born a man). Try doing it in the swiming pool, wearing a one piece aand it keeps your titties warm "Its a natural thing init hun | |||
"you want to try and see how we could use it tony?
I would but am afraid if I fart while using Vaseline I might follow threw
Tony
would have to plug it for u "Mine is already plugged with a 1 way valve! Maybe you should visit the well hung thread then yours to will be plugged and you can join pussygaloreuk with her rib ache
Tony | |||
"I fart cos it feels great (should have been born a man). Try doing it in the swiming pool, wearing a one piece aand it keeps your titties warm "Ooh you know, I never thought of that, what do these divers in there diving gear do that have eaten beans the day before, I meen, if they fart, won't they just turn into a big bubble and float back to the top?
Tony | |||
