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Essential post apocalyptic survival skills
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What do you bring to the table?
Cannot include repopulation and sexual services.
Has to be something that can be useful to humanity and the survival of the human race.
There's no electricity,so no computers and requirements for office staff, so see you later admin and HR your banished to the wasteland with the mutants and zombie's,same with the IT department and accounts, influences and anyone who makes a living from dopey YouTube videos. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Of course all you need to do is..
Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phillip (sorry phillip) grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.  |
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"Of course all you need to do is..
Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phillip (sorry phillip) grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. "
I also have a moderate sized vinyl collection that I can throw as a deterrent, not the Batman soundtrack unfortunately.  |
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If we are talking about an apocalypse where people are getting, how do I put this, a bit bitey, then I have a loads of magazines that people can gaffer tape round their forearms. (not mucky magazines either, just mens health etc)
Thank you Brad Pitt in World War Z for this tip. |
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"Completely overlooked the no sexual services bit of the original post.
Let's be honest, in this situation I'm a goner, but I had a decent run so it's all good."
The reason for the no repopulation is that's a given anyone who is legally fertile will be expected to breed with others sorted into males and females and everyone given a crack at everyone else  |
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My apprenticeship coaching skills are a bit useless BUT my gardening skills would come in handy! I actually have books in hardcover to be able to share the info in a non-digital way just in case mi d you, I think in a really bad situation I'd leave the tin of seeds and books somewhere accessible and just do away with myself. A fat fortysomething wouldn't be hugely useful overall. |
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"I'm good at lighting fires and know a few edible wild plants. (I'm very outdoorsy).
I also own axes if it's a zombie sort of problem.
Gbat"
In this world it's not the zombies that's the problem it's the countless millions who Have no access to the internet or phones and just shuffle round aimlessly,ohh wait, Zombie's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's a wasteland banishing kind of apocalypse, essential kit should include a leather jacket and leather pants, a sawn off shotgun, a dingo and a black, fuel thirsty muscle car. |
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"If it's a wasteland banishing kind of apocalypse, essential kit should include a leather jacket and leather pants, a sawn off shotgun, a dingo and a black, fuel thirsty muscle car."
Yeah it always confused me why opt for a car that probably only does 15 mpg if your lucky at a time of limited fuel supply ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can knit, but only scarves! Might make it harder for zombies to bite you though.
I'm a resourceful cook and can make a decent batch meal out of any old shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can start fires to keep us all warm.
I will need lighters, tinder, wood, petrol, BBQ starter blocks and it still might start but I'll get there eventually.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Politicians would be fucked as well.
While we would need leadership and order certainly wouldn't need a bunch of privileged toffs telling us how important they are."
Not really we can use them as kindling for the bonfires especially the fat cats they burn longer  |
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"My husband is what I have.
He is very practical and intelligent - one of those people who can turn his hand to anything... his karate training will probably come in useful too. "
I would be pretty useless on my own... |
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As a water and sanitation engineer that has worked all over the world providing clean water to remote communities I could probably set up a gravel filtered water purification system. It depends whether in the apocalypse we would become nomads or not, as that would require a harvesting system too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can hunt and prepare small mammals and birds.
Good at making fires
I know lots about plants, so foraging for and growing food is no issue
Unfortunately I cannot help with repopulating the earth as I've been sterilised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can build a house from scratch, but I won’t touch the plumbing or electrics, I’ll leave the damp proof membrane for Meli to put in, that’s her area of Expertise. |
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Im ex mil. Worked around the yanks for many years . So kind of up to date with the zombi end world stuff lol.
So what would i bring. Survival skills. Leadership. Disciple so some you BDSM couples won't miss out lol |
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"What do you bring to the table?
Cannot include repopulation and sexual services.
Has to be something that can be useful to humanity and the survival of the human race.
There's no electricity,so no computers and requirements for office staff, so see you later admin and HR your banished to the wasteland with the mutants and zombie's,same with the IT department and accounts, influences and anyone who makes a living from dopey YouTube videos."
Even though I am an IT guy by trade, I am also very much an engineer and improvisation is my superpower. Electricity is no problem, there are many ways we can generate electricity.
Also, I am a drummer... so I've got long range communications covered too
Cal |
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"My husband is what I have.
He is very practical and intelligent - one of those people who can turn his hand to anything... his karate training will probably come in useful too.
I would be pretty useless on my own..."
Actually, tell a lie, I'm a pretty good shot, so will just need a gun and a supply of suitable ammunition... happy to shoot zombies and animals for food. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive got a lot of firearms... (and licenses for them, before anyone asks!!), butchery skills, cooking skills and first aid skills..... and im a great shag!! |
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"I'm an engineer so I'm sorted thanks and also highly domesticated too so I'd be on the lookout for someone who can hunt, farm and who has weapons in the case of a zombie apocalypse  "
Speaking as an engineer... pretty much everything is a weapon
Also, farming is just engineering with plants, and hunting is engineering animals into a meal.
Cal |
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By *imbo59seMan
over a year ago
North Norfolk area |
"(why do my ticks come up as question marks)
Grrrrrr
The emojis and characters on your phone aren't compatible with Fab."
I came to that conclusion as well, but thanks.
Felt so proud that I'd found a tick (not the nasty little bugs.....found one of them on one of my dogs this morning).
Obviously, IT skills are a bit lacking  |
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I was a chippy once, suppose I still am even if I have a cushy job now,
Bushcraft, check
Knife maker check
And I'm converting a campervan as a lock down project so I can sort out the solar panels so we get electricity to power up the pcs and can watch porn,
Ohh i can cook 2  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was a chippy once, suppose I still am even if I have a cushy job now,
Bushcraft, check
Knife maker check
And I'm converting a campervan as a lock down project so I can sort out the solar panels so we get electricity to power up the pcs and can watch porn,
Ohh i can cook 2 "
Wanna be on my apocalypse team?? Got the firearms and a fair few slabs... and the skills... and a decent wok....!!
I'll go wrench the garlic up, pack the salt, clean knickers and I'm all yours, baby! |
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"I was a chippy once, suppose I still am even if I have a cushy job now,
Bushcraft, check
Knife maker check
And I'm converting a campervan as a lock down project so I can sort out the solar panels so we get electricity to power up the pcs and can watch porn,
Ohh i can cook 2
Wanna be on my apocalypse team?? Got the firearms and a fair few slabs... and the skills... and a decent wok....!!
I'll go wrench the garlic up, pack the salt, clean knickers and I'm all yours, baby! "
You'll be needing my middle management executive skills of course, might even manage some accountancy for you, no promises on that of course |
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"I was a chippy once, suppose I still am even if I have a cushy job now,
Bushcraft, check
Knife maker check
And I'm converting a campervan as a lock down project so I can sort out the solar panels so we get electricity to power up the pcs and can watch porn,
Ohh i can cook 2
Wanna be on my apocalypse team?? Got the firearms and a fair few slabs... and the skills... and a decent wok....!!
I'll go wrench the garlic up, pack the salt, clean knickers and I'm all yours, baby! "
hell yea,
Ohh I can shoot, glock and sig mostly,
And have the first aid thing cornerd between us,
Leave the knickers behind,
Pack the whacker though |
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"I'm an engineer so I'm sorted thanks and also highly domesticated too so I'd be on the lookout for someone who can hunt, farm and who has weapons in the case of a zombie apocalypse
Speaking as an engineer... pretty much everything is a weapon
Also, farming is just engineering with plants, and hunting is engineering animals into a meal.
Cal "
Well of course this is very true but then until there is a zombie apocalypse I don't want to scare anyone off, I mean nobody wants to think you can simply make them dissappear in real life |
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I won't have to worry about no electricity as I have a Tunturi exercise bike with a massive flywheel driving an old DC washing machine motor as a a generator. Charges 12V systems perfectly but is much harder work than anyone imagines, so will get nice and fit but need more food as a result.
Not much food growing in my garden. Just eaten the last asparagus and now nothing until the apples are ripe. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I won't have to worry about no electricity as I have a Tunturi exercise bike with a massive flywheel driving an old DC washing machine motor as a a generator. Charges 12V systems perfectly but is much harder work than anyone imagines, so will get nice and fit but need more food as a result.
Not much food growing in my garden. Just eaten the last asparagus and now nothing until the apples are ripe."
Its all good! Ive got strawberries....
And ill grab the pork pies out the fridge! |
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"Well I'm stuffed as i can't even help repopulation. I will have to revive the oldest profession. "
Happily be your oldest punter but I note that, outside post apocalyptic circumstances, you have an age limit of 60!
Might need putting up overnight as Reading is a long way to cycle there and back in one day! |
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"
...
Its all good! Ive got strawberries....
And ill grab the pork pies out the fridge! "
The good news is that I've got a 12V fridge available.
The bad news is that one of us will have to pedal power the 60 or so Watts it needs! |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Of course all you need to do is..
Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phillip (sorry phillip) grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. "
This
And double tap!! |
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