FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > The challenges of being bi
The challenges of being bi
Jump to: Newest in thread
I’m recently single and am now facing the prospect of having to date again. I only want a romantic relationship with a girl but have had a few MM experiences and am tempted to do so in the future. If I’m in a relationship, I would remain faithful but am concerned that if I’m open to any future partner about being bi, that she will presume that I’ll be unfaithful and therefore she’ll want to end things with me.
Therefore, my question is when is the best time to be open about being bi (I’m not out)? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think you'd need to chat about bi people with her to test her reaction. The problem is she may out you.
Or she may love the idea of bi MMF and you could have a wonderful time together.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m recently single and am now facing the prospect of having to date again. I only want a romantic relationship with a girl but have had a few MM experiences and am tempted to do so in the future. If I’m in a relationship, I would remain faithful but am concerned that if I’m open to any future partner about being bi, that she will presume that I’ll be unfaithful and therefore she’ll want to end things with me.
Therefore, my question is when is the best time to be open about being bi (I’m not out)?"
I would be open pretty early on. I hate secrets much more than i hate whatever it is they are keeping secret. She has to accept you for you or its a non starter. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you think a future partner will suspect you are cheating before you even get to the relationship....
Looking inward, are you ready for a monogamous relationship?
Do you want a monogamous relationship?
FAB is about sharing sexual experience while investing love in your primary relationship.
FAB is also about communication within relationships.
Perhaps future communication is a barrier or you are afraid to communicate with a future partner.
Most men are terrible at communication in relationships. They are always told to not show or talk about feelings and emotions.
Perhaps you need to find an outlet to share and communicate through.
FAB forums are a start. But physical communication is better. That way you can feel the body language and facial expressions also.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah is a bit of a tricky one alright not sure if you can go “ I like movies, football, music and cock.”
I do also think there would be that element of he’s bi so he’s going to have sex with a guy.
Am sure there are ladies out there that would be fine with it and even into it but would guess hard to find. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think you'd need to chat about bi people with her to test her reaction. The problem is she may out you.
Or she may love the idea of bi MMF and you could have a wonderful time together. "
That’s definitely the best outcome. Finding out MissJ fancied two guys at once and had always assumed I was a bit bi was very horny and exciting for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Is this something you want in your life? As in, sex with more people than your partner, some of whom may be the same gender? If it is, then seek out a relationship with a woman who likes this.
Is it possible to use a dating app which starts anonymous and say from the start what you want? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m recently single and am now facing the prospect of having to date again. I only want a romantic relationship with a girl but have had a few MM experiences and am tempted to do so in the future. If I’m in a relationship, I would remain faithful but am concerned that if I’m open to any future partner about being bi, that she will presume that I’ll be unfaithful and therefore she’ll want to end things with me.
Therefore, my question is when is the best time to be open about being bi (I’m not out)?"
If you had a relationship with an openly bi woman would you be concerned that she'd cheat on you with another woman? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SCouple81Couple
over a year ago
Between Edinburgh and Scottish Borders |
The best you can do is being honest, with others and yourself. I have recently chatted with some guy online who is bi but his wife doesn't accept it even if she is bi. I felt really sorry for him. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think there is a misconception that of you're bi, by only being with one sex, you are being deprived of your craving for the other sex and will therefore cheat to satisfy that need.
Being bi shouldn't have any bearing on a person's ability to be monogamous - being straight certainly hasn't kept all the cheating husbands out of here!
My feeling is that any "bombshell" should come early doors before too much bonding has taken place, so it's easier to move on if said bombshell isn't going to work between you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If you think a future partner will suspect you are cheating before you even get to the relationship....
Looking inward, are you ready for a monogamous relationship?
Do you want a monogamous relationship?
FAB is about sharing sexual experience while investing love in your primary relationship.
FAB is also about communication within relationships.
Perhaps future communication is a barrier or you are afraid to communicate with a future partner.
Most men are terrible at communication in relationships. They are always told to not show or talk about feelings and emotions.
Perhaps you need to find an outlet to share and communicate through.
FAB forums are a start. But physical communication is better. That way you can feel the body language and facial expressions also. "
I’m really comfortable communicating and being open but I’m mindful of sending a red flag too early, if me being bi doesn’t actually need to be an issue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
From the beginning. Weeds out the biphobic people from the beginning. Do you really want to date someone who thinks bisexual people are more likely to cheat? In my opinion, it's far better to put off these people from the get go than try to later convince someone with those sorts of harmful opinions that they're wrong. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think there is a misconception that of you're bi, by only being with one sex, you are being deprived of your craving for the other sex and will therefore cheat to satisfy that need.
Being bi shouldn't have any bearing on a person's ability to be monogamous - being straight certainly hasn't kept all the cheating husbands out of here!
My feeling is that any "bombshell" should come early doors before too much bonding has taken place, so it's easier to move on if said bombshell isn't going to work between you."
This! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think there is a misconception that of you're bi, by only being with one sex, you are being deprived of your craving for the other sex and will therefore cheat to satisfy that need.
Being bi shouldn't have any bearing on a person's ability to be monogamous - being straight certainly hasn't kept all the cheating husbands out of here!
My feeling is that any "bombshell" should come early doors before too much bonding has taken place, so it's easier to move on if said bombshell isn't going to work between you."
This ^^^  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"From the beginning. Weeds out the biphobic people from the beginning. Do you really want to date someone who thinks bisexual people are more likely to cheat? In my opinion, it's far better to put off these people from the get go than try to later convince someone with those sorts of harmful opinions that they're wrong. "
Really good point |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
M knew I was bi before we even got together so it's never been an issue. I agree with some above that people presume as a couple we're looking for another female on here just because I'm bi. When in fact I want MFM, so many misconceptions how and what bi people want. It's varied as. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As soon as possible when conversations turn to sexual topics. People have right to make informed choices. And you want this to progress to more than sex. So honesty is crucial. And you want to be accepted fully, as it's meant to be fulfilling relationship. If you start with a lie about yourself, how will that happen? If you reject part of yourself, would that make you happy or just comfortable in the knowledge you'll get more acceptance? Sorry, so many questions, probably not helpful. I just wonder.. how one can open to love and acceptance not allowing that to themselves. Not saying that is what you do, but I hope you find what you seek without ever compromising on your integrity.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think you'd need to chat about bi people with her to test her reaction. The problem is she may out you.
Or she may love the idea of bi MMF and you could have a wonderful time together. "
My thoughts on it, exactly!
all the best with your future however it pans out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"From the beginning. Weeds out the biphobic people from the beginning. Do you really want to date someone who thinks bisexual people are more likely to cheat? In my opinion, it's far better to put off these people from the get go than try to later convince someone with those sorts of harmful opinions that they're wrong. "
That. Plus any other misconceptions they might hold. So much energy spent trying to change someone's views when you can find it all and feel worthy elsewhere. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I tell all of my partners that I cross dress fully. It’s not something I bring up on the first date, but I don’t hide a side of me I have to indulge in occasionally.
So your issue is similar to mine I can’t hide who I am, so neither should you. I generally look around the time that I am making regular plans with her to tell her. The minute you realise that this dating has moved or moving to the next stage.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
