FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Stages of your fab journey
Stages of your fab journey
Jump to: Newest in thread
When I joined Fab I had no idea it could be this great (& bumpy) journey. I've evolved massively within myself from the woman who saw Fab as an easy site to flirt and get laid. It still can be, but that's not my sole purpose now.
How long have you been on Fab and what have been the stages of your journey? | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 
| |||
| |||
Then I found the forums. Had sex with a couple of people. People who I actually liked and treated me with respect and care.
Anyway, I then had a relationship. Lost my confidence a fair amount. Still working on that.
And now I'm mainly here for the forums. I'm hoping to meet someone soon who makes me feel like a slut in a sex shop. I think I'm at the point now where I'd rather meet a few people for lots of sex, rather than lots of people for a bit of sex. Or just carry on posting my inane ramblings. | |||
| |||
| |||
Trying to stay clear from drama and situationships x | |||
| |||
 | |||
 | |||
"When I joined 4 years ago, I wasn't looking for anything at the time, just someone to talk to as I had went through a bad heartbreak at Christmas back in 2016. When 2017 came round, I knew I had to make changes in my life and that was to start going out and make new friends. To do that, I had to first overcome my social anxieties with me having Asperger's Syndrome. I set myself a task of going to a club. A couple of months later, I went to Cupids for the first time. The owner at the time made me feel at ease because he understood my condition and helped introduce me to a few people. The evening went ok but there was a moment when my anxiety kicked in and I shut down by sitting by myself so had to snap out of it by heading to the bar. Even though it was my first visit and I was still trying to overcome my social anxieties, I was proud to have made that first step into the club. The second visit a month later was kind of the same but throughout that year, I gained many friends, gained good confidence and had many fun experiences which helped rid me of my social anxieties and made me a much happier person than I was in the beginning. I even had the best birthday celebrations at Cupids as well lol. When I'm not in the club, I would be on the forums, mainly in the BBW chat forum chatting with friends on there too and was lucky to meet them at a Manchester Social a few years back as well which was great. Ever since, I've always been grateful of the friends I've made and always look forward to seeing them again in the future. "Love this! | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
about 15 years I think and other sites with an ex,always couples meets nothing else. That ended and my next relationship there was nothing like that apart from a mff dabble towards the end of that one. Met someone on tinder who was on here and they dragged me back, originally to be as a fwb couple in Dec 19 but that all went south and I rejoined as a single in the jan, deleted as I got overwhelmed, and then got lured back just prior to lockdown.
Mostly find me inhabiting the lounge chatting, have made some good friends who I now am glad I'm finally going to get to meet! As for everything else well what happens happens I have no set plan or idea as such, yes there's the I'd love to meet but I just admire from afar lol | |||
| |||
| |||
For me Fab was a slow burner. I joined a bit over 3 years ago, and I enjoyed the attention a lot! My very first meet wasn’t very satisfying though- I felt used tbh so I kind of retreated a bit. After a few months I understood what it was about and enjoyed meeting lots of people - socially and otherwise. 
In mid 2019 I met someone extremely special and it was completely unexpected! That set the brakes for me a bit so I stopped meeting casually...
I started this year with the focus of meeting more people but in all honesty, casual meets are leaving me rather unsatisfied. So while I still want to experience nights at clubs (hopefully someday!) I think I am happier meeting people with a view of having FWBs- as emotionally tacing as it can be (for me!) sometimes. I still love chatting via messages and going to socials- something I am also looking forward to.
I have really enjoyed my time here.  | |||
but I'm looking forward to getting back into visiting clubs when we can. | |||
| |||
| |||
A lot of us seem to change and pair off for periods of time it appers. Fab seems to be a confidence booster and social outlet for many which is nice to hear in amongst all of the threads of people being frustrated and getting nowhere on here.
| |||
| |||
 .
In 2016 we went to Swingfields (amazing!!) but T became seriously ill & was diagnosed with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. After chemo he needed a stem cell transplant & we planned our wedding from his hospital bed.
We got married in December 2018, I had a big op in March 2019 and we are finally starting to get back in to the swing of things!!
J x | |||
Lx | |||
| |||
"People on here seem to be more angry at everything now. " I think covid has made the whole world just angry in general. | |||
"I started typing mine, but then I thought who’s interested in what I’ve been up to, but I’m okay with that, acceptance is key! "I'm interested. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
.
Now I’m back and I’ve still got my special person, and we are having an awesome journey together, I’ve only met one forumite on this new account. | |||
| |||
"Jeez. Ok... So, arrived here 5 years ago after finding the balls to kick my abusive ex out. I came here on the search for knowledge about relationship dynamics and how couples got to the stage where they were soooo honest and open, soooo in love that they could swing. Having been lied to, cheated on and abused over the previous 8 years it was something I was in awe of. Didn't want it for myself, but nice to share others joy ya know and feel love that way. I'd really get a kick out of the love between 2 people. From there, well. Shagged a few that I wouldn't now, done things I wouldn't now. I think I was trying to prove to myself I could push myself, that I wasn't a "victim". I took risks and put myself in potentially dangerous situations. Daft as it sounds, I was used to living in survival mode for so long I guess I seeked it out, just in a different way from being beaten and mentally tortured at home. After a year or so I had a breakdown. Full on. Demons of the past had come back to haunt me and the abuse I thought I had escaped unscathed from were there, in my mind, controlling me without me even realising it. I discovered I had been left with complex PTSD. I spent 9 months off work and aside from the men flooding my inbox with "you know what'll make ya feel better? My dick" messages, everyone here was fucking awesome. I documented my counselling journey and the support was unbelievable. People opened up. People laid bare their own experiences and I was truly humbled. Inspired too. It was at that point I learned just how important it can be for other people to know they ain't alone in their problems and when I decided to keep being that heart on the sleeve wearer, not just for me, but for other people too. Someone they could relate to, even from afar, someone who could make them feel less lonely, less weird, less different, less worthless and more "normal" Year or so after that I met my ex. Holy fuck. Well, I think we all know how that went down. Left me broken once more but a different kinda broken. Fucking angry at myself really. So my main fab journey has been the friendships, the support, the slaps up the mush if I'm being a cunt. You lot have helped me and cared for me through all of it, my son moving out, breakdown, relationship, the loss of my beautiful girl dog. It hasn't all been plain sailing, there's been some real nasty shit go down too, I can't and won't pretend otherwise. So me and mine? Learning I'm loved for being me, regardless of what's between my legs. I have made THE most wonderful friends who I genuinely owe my life to. My time here is coming to an end soon I feel. I've been saying it for a good while now, but aside from giving people the odd giggle, I don't feel I've much left to give. Sex is something that whilst it can be magical, comes with a side order of bullshit most of the time and I'm just plain tired." I think you’re fucking awesome, you’re my absolute favourite small | |||
| |||
 | |||
"Lots of comments about new female users joining and going through a slut phase where they went about enjoying themselves like kids in a sweet shop. This made me understand why when new females join fab they immediately get pounced on by so many single guys chancing their luck. The single guys are hoping to catch the ladies during their slut sweetshop phase, before Fab eventually makes them much more jaded with the whole experience. " Fab hasn't jaded me. I'm still hopeful, not cynical about people. I've changed a bit though - I joined when I was in my early twenties and was discovering my sexuality and lust for men. Fab helped me realise and be comfortable with the fact that I found men attractive. Bar one I wouldn't say I had bad meets, the woman I was back then loved every minute of it. What has happened is I'm looking for something different now. I value friendships more, whether they are platonic or not. I'm not jaded by Fab but I am more experienced, more comfortable in speaking up for what I want and more secure in my mind about what works for me. I've still got so much more to experience and undoubtedly I'll keep growing and learning about the woman I am becoming. (Men do pounce on women when they first join because they see them as fresh faced, naive and wet vaged, that's true) | |||
| |||
"So I joined here 11 years ago after a guy I met on POF told me about the place. I used to go on cams all the time. Not doing a show but just showing my face. I used to watch the guys that could suck their own dicks and tie bits of string tightly around their willys and punch themselves in the face for me. Started using the forums around 9 years ago and boy they were fun times. Almost every thread I started I would have loads of people accusing me of being fake, accusing me of being a man due to my writing style and content, accusing me of playing some kind of role, well 9 years on and I’m still saying the same shit, still the same writing style so that’s a pretty long time to keep up an act! I’m 100% authentically real and as honest as the day is long. Wear my heart on my sleeve and not ashamed to talk about my failings or struggles of which I’ve had many over the years. The forums have been a great source of support over the years and there really is a good bunch of people on here. As for my sexual journey, at the start I thought I’d find a kinky boyfriend who would be loyal to me but that idea went out the window long ago. Haven’t met many guys for sex, haven’t met anyone for over a year off here for sex. Not really looking for anyone in particular but I’d know it if I saw it. " I for one am glad you do. You take a lot of stick, and a lot of the time it's unnecessary. To me it clearly shows people who've not suffered MH issues and have no interest in trying to understand. I totally get a lot of what you say and I do think you're doing an awesome job in seeing areas of improvement and acting on them. I also think there are way more people than will actually admit to having attachment issues etc on here. They just carry their shit on on the sly, yet present a well balanced individual on here. I admire the shit outta ya. | |||
| |||
Left in July last year but was back not long after.
Still not had any meets yet and not massively hopeful of achieving one based on circumstances. | |||
| |||
"So I joined here 11 years ago after a guy I met on POF told me about the place. I used to go on cams all the time. Not doing a show but just showing my face. I used to watch the guys that could suck their own dicks and tie bits of string tightly around their willys and punch themselves in the face for me. Started using the forums around 9 years ago and boy they were fun times. Almost every thread I started I would have loads of people accusing me of being fake, accusing me of being a man due to my writing style and content, accusing me of playing some kind of role, well 9 years on and I’m still saying the same shit, still the same writing style so that’s a pretty long time to keep up an act! I’m 100% authentically real and as honest as the day is long. Wear my heart on my sleeve and not ashamed to talk about my failings or struggles of which I’ve had many over the years. The forums have been a great source of support over the years and there really is a good bunch of people on here. As for my sexual journey, at the start I thought I’d find a kinky boyfriend who would be loyal to me but that idea went out the window long ago. Haven’t met many guys for sex, haven’t met anyone for over a year off here for sex. Not really looking for anyone in particular but I’d know it if I saw it. I for one am glad you do. You take a lot of stick, and a lot of the time it's unnecessary. To me it clearly shows people who've not suffered MH issues and have no interest in trying to understand. I totally get a lot of what you say and I do think you're doing an awesome job in seeing areas of improvement and acting on them. I also think there are way more people than will actually admit to having attachment issues etc on here. They just carry their shit on on the sly, yet present a well balanced individual on here. I admire the shit outta ya. " I agree with this. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Im mainly here for the forums these days. Im not what most women want. I think its the shorts "Pink shorts are cool | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
), so I left, believing I’d never return again.
So when that relationship ended during the start of Covid I didn’t know what to do. Working from home, no interactions with anyone, I turned back to FAB.
I had to wait 2 weeks to join the forums again and within a few days I stumbled over C’s profile. She’d just been informed by one of her FWB’s that he was wanting something full time, which she wasn’t….so it opened up a space. So I came along at the right time.
We chatted all day, every day, about anything and everything. By the time we met after a couple of months we were already embedded into each other’s lives. Covid restricted us meeting anyone else so a bubble was formed.
We soon realised it was much more than FWB’s, the more time we spent together. Thankfully we both felt the same way and we made it official and decided there was a lot more we wanted to explore sexually and so here we are…having the time of our lives and enjoying the ride
K
| |||
