FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Too much for me?
Too much for me?
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do? |
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By *tew008Man
over a year ago
edinburgh |
"Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do? "
Ask for a group chat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Withdrew slowly.
I’m not judging you, I’m just curious as to why? "
It depends on what was agreed and what happened I guess if I think back to past experiences. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"As this is a swinging site I would expect people to be chatting to others too. "
That’s not necessarily a given assumption but in this situation, how many people would you feel comfortable ‘sharing’ with? |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
I'm under no illusions that anyone I'm talking to on here is possibly talking the same to someone else, it is what it is, I'm a realist and know that some are literally just chat and will never lead to anything. |
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"Given the nature of the site I just assume everyone I speak to is.
Even though you don’t feel comfortable sharing? "
I wouldn’t meet someone if they weren’t potentially looking for the same as me. I do make exceptions though. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"On here? Isn't that the norm?
If it was dating, as long as they were clearly interested in making time for me in their life and I didn't feel like a low priority then it's all good. "
It’s not always the norm. I’d assume that it was but it’s not always the situation.
What if you felt like one of just a number in your interactions? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Given the nature of the site I just assume everyone I speak to is.
Even though you don’t feel comfortable sharing?
I wouldn’t meet someone if they weren’t potentially looking for the same as me. I do make exceptions though. "
So it would affect the interaction then?
I’m not picking on you by the way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't phase me, it's completely up to them. I may talk to a few people at a time but not all conversations lead anywhere. I tend to only meet a couple of different people because I prefer regular FWB and I don't get a lot of free time but that's just my preference. |
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"Given the nature of the site I just assume everyone I speak to is.
Even though you don’t feel comfortable sharing?
I wouldn’t meet someone if they weren’t potentially looking for the same as me. I do make exceptions though.
So it would affect the interaction then?
I’m not picking on you by the way "
Makes a change . Probably I don’t know. I speak to loads but it’s more just friendly really. By the time I get to meet someone I usually know them very very well! I’m probably not the best person to give an opinion, I’m not very fablike and I don’t meet many people! |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Given the nature of the site I just assume everyone I speak to is.
Even though you don’t feel comfortable sharing?
I wouldn’t meet someone if they weren’t potentially looking for the same as me. I do make exceptions though.
So it would affect the interaction then?
I’m not picking on you by the way
Makes a change . Probably I don’t know. I speak to loads but it’s more just friendly really. By the time I get to meet someone I usually know them very very well! I’m probably not the best person to give an opinion, I’m not very fablike and I don’t meet many people!"
I think that the point I’m driving at, is whether people have a limit, if theyre made to feel like a number or if the person is very ‘popular’ whether that puts people off?
That’s not just a question for yourself by the way |
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
What if you’re not a swinger? You’re not!"
If you’re not a swinger and you don’t like sharing then it’s like setting your filters to age 99-99 |
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"Given the nature of the site I just assume everyone I speak to is.
Even though you don’t feel comfortable sharing?
I wouldn’t meet someone if they weren’t potentially looking for the same as me. I do make exceptions though.
So it would affect the interaction then?
I’m not picking on you by the way
Makes a change . Probably I don’t know. I speak to loads but it’s more just friendly really. By the time I get to meet someone I usually know them very very well! I’m probably not the best person to give an opinion, I’m not very fablike and I don’t meet many people!
I think that the point I’m driving at, is whether people have a limit, if theyre made to feel like a number or if the person is very ‘popular’ whether that puts people off?
That’s not just a question for yourself by the way"
Oh yeah. I won’t be a choice. If I’m a choice then the choice is no longer there. That’s just me though. Yeah why am I here and all that ...... it’s worked for me so far. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
But not everyone on here is actually a swinger so what about those? "
That's true - but its also the nature of the site that people on here aren't, generally, looking for exclusivity. That being said, if you are, just discuss it and see if your potential partners are after the same thing. |
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
What if you’re not a swinger? You’re not!
If you’re not a swinger and you don’t like sharing then it’s like setting your filters to age 99-99"
Well I’ve had a very happy time here. And I’m both those things  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share? "
Not everyone is a swinger and even swingers have differing levels of comfort regarding partners or share of attention.
The phrase quality over quantity is often knocked around |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I wouldn't do anything.
I like sociable people, and I'm on a site where most people aren't looking for exclusivity.
If they longed me off for someone else after making arrangements, then I might lose interest.
Depends how sexy they are though  |
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
What if you’re not a swinger? You’re not!
If you’re not a swinger and you don’t like sharing then it’s like setting your filters to age 99-99
Well I’ve had a very happy time here. And I’m both those things "
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"As this is a swinging site I would expect people to be chatting to others too.
That’s not necessarily a given assumption but in this situation, how many people would you feel comfortable ‘sharing’ with? "
I don't see it as sharing anyone, as he wouldn't be mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
But not everyone on here is actually a swinger so what about those?
But you are on a swingers site. "
Yes, I am but I don't count because I'm a fake timewaster that's not looking to meet 
I also have no issues with sharing but I'm still not a swinger. |
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By *ak4uMan
over a year ago
chelmsford |
"Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do? "
If your talking to a woman then imagine that it's inevitable that she's probably got many "chats" on the go at the same time. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
Not everyone is a swinger and even swingers have differing levels of comfort regarding partners or share of attention.
The phrase quality over quantity is often knocked around"
Quality doesn't mean only one person is up to their standards.
I had 8 regular partners at one time; all meeting me at different intervals.
To me they are all quality, but some more available than others.
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If trying to arrange a meeting and it’s a few months down the line, after conversations have got to the ‘I can’t wait to have sex with you’ - we’ll walk away. Unless of course distance is an issue and you need to plan it for the future.
Whilst it’s a sex site and it’s expected that people are chatting to others, which is fine, we are too, we aren’t going to join an Alton Towers type queue to meet anyone.
We want our meets to be unique experiences, something we all look forward to, not for us to take a ticket
K |
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"Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do? "
Isn't that the whole point though?
Or are you wanting something more exclusive? If so this maybe the wrong site for you. Be positive, you do look extremely gorgeous |
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
But not everyone on here is actually a swinger so what about those?
But you are on a swingers site.
Yes, I am but I don't count because I'm a fake timewaster that's not looking to meet
I also have no issues with sharing but I'm still not a swinger. "
So you’re on a swinging site, you’re happy to share other swingers but you’re not a swinger yourself ....... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
Not everyone is a swinger and even swingers have differing levels of comfort regarding partners or share of attention.
The phrase quality over quantity is often knocked around
Quality doesn't mean only one person is up to their standards.
I had 8 regular partners at one time; all meeting me at different intervals.
To me they are all quality, but some more available than others.
"
Does it not get to a point of diminishing returns though? At some point the quality of interactions will drop according to how much time and attention they can give
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
But not everyone on here is actually a swinger so what about those?
But you are on a swingers site.
Yes, I am but I don't count because I'm a fake timewaster that's not looking to meet
I also have no issues with sharing but I'm still not a swinger.
So you’re on a swinging site, you’re happy to share other swingers but you’re not a swinger yourself ....... "
You’ve been on here long enough, this isn’t a revelation to you, surely? |
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I think half the trouble is that when someone knows that you chat to a lot of people on here ( and I do ) there can be an assumption that you're out shagging all of them every day of the week.
And that's so not the case .
It could just be that they they've made a lot of good friends and enjoy the banter and messaging.
Just 1 or 2 people to meet up once in a while is ideal for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So you don't like sharing… at what point do you stop being with that person, when you've moved on to someone else or they have?
If you don't like sharing then do you have a little more feelings for that person?... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do?
Isn't that the whole point though?
Or are you wanting something more exclusive? If so this maybe the wrong site for you. Be positive, you do look extremely gorgeous "
This isn’t a case based on my personal experience, it’s a theoretical exercise based on my own musings |
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
But not everyone on here is actually a swinger so what about those?
But you are on a swingers site.
Yes, I am but I don't count because I'm a fake timewaster that's not looking to meet
I also have no issues with sharing but I'm still not a swinger.
So you’re on a swinging site, you’re happy to share other swingers but you’re not a swinger yourself .......
You’ve been on here long enough, this isn’t a revelation to you, surely? "
Ssshhh you |
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I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"So you don't like sharing… at what point do you stop being with that person, when you've moved on to someone else or they have?
If you don't like sharing then do you have a little more feelings for that person?..."
It’s not me, it’s a theoretical exercise but having feelings could be an interesting situation in this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
But not everyone on here is actually a swinger so what about those?
But you are on a swingers site.
Yes, I am but I don't count because I'm a fake timewaster that's not looking to meet
I also have no issues with sharing but I'm still not a swinger.
So you’re on a swinging site, you’re happy to share other swingers but you’re not a swinger yourself ....... "
Well done sherlock I'm lots of things but never classed myself as a swinger, more just a pain in the arse that occasionally takes pretty pictures |
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"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it. "
Takes notes |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it. "
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort? |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort? "
I don’t think that I articulated or formulated my OP very well for this one!
This is what happens when I get all excited and premature |
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"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort? "
How would you know though? I don’t tell people how many and who else I’m chatting to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do? "
Arrange a gangbang |
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"On here? Isn't that the norm?
If it was dating, as long as they were clearly interested in making time for me in their life and I didn't feel like a low priority then it's all good.
It’s not always the norm. I’d assume that it was but it’s not always the situation.
What if you felt like one of just a number in your interactions? "
You keep saying you assume you do know assumption is the mother of all fuck ups. Never assume maybe their trying to organise a gang bang |
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"Have you ever been in the situation where you’re chatting with a person, seem to be getting on well but then it becomes clear that they’re interested in lots of people and are chatting with lots of others at the same time as yourself?
What did you do? "
I’ve been in the situation and tbh I don’t mind as I’m sure it’s pretty common on here...but what I don’t like is when I feel like the backup of you get me lol |
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"On here? Isn't that the norm?
If it was dating, as long as they were clearly interested in making time for me in their life and I didn't feel like a low priority then it's all good.
It’s not always the norm. I’d assume that it was but it’s not always the situation.
What if you felt like one of just a number in your interactions? "
The norm doesn't mean it is always the case, just most commonly.
I don't really care about how many others there are. I only care about how someone treats me and I'm happy with my interactions with them. If someone can juggle many people without neglecting any of them then more power to them. If I feel like a low priority to someone then I'll stop bothering with them. I've felt like that even with people who are only seeing me though so that isn't something specific to pursuing multiple people. |
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"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort?
I don’t think that I articulated or formulated my OP very well for this one!
This is what happens when I get all excited and premature"
For a second I thought this was from a much younger guy tut tut should know better never mind we have all been there we all learn as we go. |
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It's not something that really bothers me to be honest, like others have said it's kind of to be expected on here, personaly I'm not on here looking for loads of meets but am always up for finding new friends and connections. If I was looking for exclusivity it would be something that was discussed with the other person fairly early on though as if they were not looking for the same then we wouldn't be compatible in that sense. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"On here? Isn't that the norm?
If it was dating, as long as they were clearly interested in making time for me in their life and I didn't feel like a low priority then it's all good.
It’s not always the norm. I’d assume that it was but it’s not always the situation.
What if you felt like one of just a number in your interactions?
The norm doesn't mean it is always the case, just most commonly.
I don't really care about how many others there are. I only care about how someone treats me and I'm happy with my interactions with them. If someone can juggle many people without neglecting any of them then more power to them. If I feel like a low priority to someone then I'll stop bothering with them. I've felt like that even with people who are only seeing me though so that isn't something specific to pursuing multiple people. "
Thanks, that more what I was aiming at |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I’ve never understood the bit were swingers don’t like to share?
Not everyone is a swinger and even swingers have differing levels of comfort regarding partners or share of attention.
The phrase quality over quantity is often knocked around
Quality doesn't mean only one person is up to their standards.
I had 8 regular partners at one time; all meeting me at different intervals.
To me they are all quality, but some more available than others.
Does it not get to a point of diminishing returns though? At some point the quality of interactions will drop according to how much time and attention they can give
"
No. Each had their own appeal, and I wasn't looking for overnight stays or weekends away; although I did have the occasional overnighter with others at the time.
I can't do that now though, as my health doesn't allow it.
I'm not one for texting that much, which probably helps. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort?
I don’t think that I articulated or formulated my OP very well for this one!
This is what happens when I get all excited and premature
For a second I thought this was from a much younger guy tut tut should know better never mind we have all been there we all learn as we go."
I know, thanks for the patronising pep talk though, I feel much better about spaffing my OP all over the forums now |
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"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort?
I don’t think that I articulated or formulated my OP very well for this one!
This is what happens when I get all excited and premature
For a second I thought this was from a much younger guy tut tut should know better never mind we have all been there we all learn as we go.
I know, thanks for the patronising pep talk though, I feel much better about spaffing my OP all over the forums now "
Sorry mate I do apologise no harm intended peace and love  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort?
I don’t think that I articulated or formulated my OP very well for this one!
This is what happens when I get all excited and premature
For a second I thought this was from a much younger guy tut tut should know better never mind we have all been there we all learn as we go.
I know, thanks for the patronising pep talk though, I feel much better about spaffing my OP all over the forums now
Sorry mate I do apologise no harm intended peace and love "
None taken, I was joking |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"I don't really care about how many others there are. I only care about how someone treats me and I'm happy with my interactions with them. If someone can juggle many people without neglecting any of them then more power to them. If I feel like a low priority to someone then I'll stop bothering with them. I've felt like that even with people who are only seeing me though so that isn't something specific to pursuing multiple people. "
Very much this. As long as we don’t feel neglected, a “plan B” or otherwise a low priority to them then we don’t really care how many others people are talking to as we are not looking for exclusivity or a relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say it depends on my relationship with said person and what exactly I'm looking for from Fab. I don't want to be just another number to someone I meet. I'm not a swinger and definitely don't belong on this website so it's probably different for me as I look for a deep, meaningful and trustworthy connection before even considering meeting someone.
I don't have an issue with someone chatting to others and would never tell someone what to do, but if I felt like I was one of many then I'd probably back off as I don't want to be caught up with multiple people and just be another notch in the bedpost if that makes sense. I want whatever meets I have to feel like there's nobody but me and them in that moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm under no illusions that people I talk to are also talking to other people. But if it comes to me realising they're just going through the whole site one by one, it puts me off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on how they made me feel I guess. If they are chatting to me because they're 'bored' or because none of the cronies are about then scoot along. It's not much to ask for someone to make an effort |
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"I presume and expect others to be talking to other people. That's not to say I wouldn feel as comfortable, if I was meeting someone in a few hours time and they were flirting big time on the forum. I could potentially feel a tad insecure about it.
I think it’s that area of comfort that I’m talking about.
How many people are too many, what level of chat is too close for comfort? "
Oh I don't really care how many or how they chat to others. But if I'm literally getting ready to meet someone, I don't want to really see them flirting with someone else myself. I'm upfront that I am insecure about my looks on the forum and when I'm talking to someone. And me seeing them flirt with the far more beautiful ladies of the forum, will knock my confidence a little. My hope is if I'm meeting someone that I have their attention in the hours running up towards the meet. |
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It’s a given these days that everyone is speaking to multiple other people. I just accept that as it is.
Now if they make it obvious and mess up? I back out.
Planned a meet last week with a woman from here for a few drinks.
We’re talking the next day and she says “we should really meet up sometime.”
She had forgotten that just the day before we had already made plans.
Blocked and deleted. Shame because she was just my type but I’ll not here to be disrespected |
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It's wise to chat with many people here, as most aren't looking for a monogamous partner.
Most people will also not be compatible with most other people. And it takes time to mutually out those that don't match. The average person will thus have to have multiple chats underway, in order to find 1 match. If you were to just chat serially with 1 person, before starting a new chat with others, it would be a very slow process to get positive results. People don't typically meet quickly anyway, if they find a match.
It's no strings but not instashag for lifelong monogamy together |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Better speak with big Harold then as I’m sure he’s had a few requests in his time here lol but I understand that people do speak with others it’s natural that some will go to speak to more interesting people some are a little swallow in who they chat to but it’s nice to give someones attention for at least until you’ve met or longer, some ladies do find it a confidence boost some are down to ego, look at me I’ve got 100000 messages, yes i understand you want to brag about it but put us guys off trying to make a connection  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being up front with someone saves hassle at the end of the day, if you just here to perv then say if you want to generally meet up and have fun then do it, I’ve seen on many occasions now about bad meets no shows and people taking the piss, just shows how low some people are here, I’m not having a go at anyone particular it’s an observation but I find it’s Disrespectful to the person who they are meeting etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s not something that bothers me because it’s basically the nature of this site/swinging. People will most likely be talking to others. I’m under no illusion that I’m the only person someone is talking to unless they tell me otherwise.
How many people others talk to... It doesn’t matter to me if they seem interested and there is conversation there. If you click and feel like you are building a friendship/connection, they have time for you and don’t make you feel like a low priority then it’s all good. |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"It’s not something that bothers me because it’s basically the nature of this site/swinging. People will most likely be talking to others. I’m under no illusion that I’m the only person someone is talking to unless they tell me otherwise.
How many people others talk to... It doesn’t matter to me if they seem interested and there is conversation there. If you click and feel like you are building a friendship/connection, they have time for you and don’t make you feel like a low priority then it’s all good. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on what you are looking for.
If I was looking for an FWB scenario yes I probably would withdrawn a bit. That's more about their availability than anything else though.
I have no issue with sharing and expect it on a swingers site and even in a FWB scenario expect it too.
In saying that a large number of playmates may put me off from a sexual health perspective even in safe sex. |
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For me it depends on how they go about it and how they make me feel. I have in the past told someone I'm no longer interested because I didn't want to feel like just the next one on the conveyor belt of a lothario! I presume everyone I've ever chatted with is also chatting to/meeting others, but if I am made to feel like an afterthought or just one of many then it's sayonara from me. |
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I like being one of many, he is one of many for me so it sets out the nsa sex part. If he treats me as I treat him and makes the time to connect and make me feel special then we would meet, if he is flaky and cannot balance multiple women equally then I walk away and wouldn't reconsider him later on as a sexual partner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s to be expected given the nature off the site infact it’s to be expected full stop or in less we exclusively dateing in a closed off realship best thing to do is not get hung up on it
As long as someone not put a meet off with me to meet someone else then not bothered by it
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Many people would be a no for me. Like posters have mentioned above, I don't want to feel like a number, a bedpost notch or like I've been ticked off the forumites fuckem list.
I have no issue with people using the site as they wish but it does mean they aren't compatible with me and how I use it - rather than it becoming an issue further down the line I clearly state we're just friends or slow fade. |
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There is a reason things stay private OP.
Lots of people talk to each other, is it they are getting into bed with all of them, unlikely, some maybe though.
If people verify through here and they show them, you have a rough idea, but other than that you don’t have a clue. Just as individuals that attend clubs I’m sure they don’t rock up to see the same person every time.
You need to learn to switch that part of you off “what are they up to and with whom”, as long as when you are with them, they are 100% there with you it shouldn’t matter. Their business is there’s just as my business is mine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a reason things stay private OP.
Lots of people talk to each other, is it they are getting into bed with all of them, unlikely, some maybe though.
If people verify through here and they show them, you have a rough idea, but other than that you don’t have a clue. Just as individuals that attend clubs I’m sure they don’t rock up to see the same person every time.
You need to learn to switch that part of you off “what are they up to and with whom”, as long as when you are with them, they are 100% there with you it shouldn’t matter. Their business is there’s just as my business is mine. "
Good to see you chick.
Hope your ok |
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I absolutely don't mind people chatting with more than one person. This is a swingers site after all. However, I have finished conversations and blocked people when they started to reveal that they are into some really hardcore kinks. Or, when they got attached too quickly, saying they "loved" me even before we met. |
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"I absolutely don't mind people chatting with more than one person. This is a swingers site after all. However, I have finished conversations and blocked people when they started to reveal that they are into some really hardcore kinks. Or, when they got attached too quickly, saying they "loved" me even before we met. "
Blimey! Really?  |
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"I absolutely don't mind people chatting with more than one person. This is a swingers site after all. However, I have finished conversations and blocked people when they started to reveal that they are into some really hardcore kinks. Or, when they got attached too quickly, saying they "loved" me even before we met.
Blimey! Really? "
Yep, really. Unfortunately, that was usually happening when I was taking conversations away from this site. I was highly disappointed quite recently, I was chatting to a lady, all was going well, she was well verified, too. Then we took the conversation to Kik and she started telling me what kind of kink she liked, what she wanted me to do to her as she could feel I was more dominant than her etc. I did explain to her why I had to stop our conversation and had to block her.
The "love" bit I haven't had for quite a while, but it was usually with profiles that were supposedly of American soldiers stationed in UK. I guess that may have been part of "romance scam" but I was not naive enough to fall for it. |
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Normally because of how this site is the female will have more opportunity than the male so chances are she is talking to more than he is. But if that worries you then you may not be looking for the same thing. I am into enm so it's i am speaking to several guys and meeting some of them too. I am an open book so i make sure that everyone is aware but as I've found out recently some people do not take in the reality of it so will get tied up in knots over it.
Its up to you to decide if that's what you want. But if you feel any jealousy or hesitancy you may want to examine why. |
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"I absolutely don't mind people chatting with more than one person. This is a swingers site after all. However, I have finished conversations and blocked people when they started to reveal that they are into some really hardcore kinks. Or, when they got attached too quickly, saying they "loved" me even before we met.
Blimey! Really?
Yep, really. Unfortunately, that was usually happening when I was taking conversations away from this site. I was highly disappointed quite recently, I was chatting to a lady, all was going well, she was well verified, too. Then we took the conversation to Kik and she started telling me what kind of kink she liked, what she wanted me to do to her as she could feel I was more dominant than her etc. I did explain to her why I had to stop our conversation and had to block her.
The "love" bit I haven't had for quite a while, but it was usually with profiles that were supposedly of American soldiers stationed in UK. I guess that may have been part of "romance scam" but I was not naive enough to fall for it."
Ah could be yes. Although I’ve caught that catfish programme a few times when my daughter has been watching it and people do seemingly fall in love without meeting. Sounds a bit nuts to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say it depends on my relationship with said person and what exactly I'm looking for from Fab. I don't want to be just another number to someone I meet. I'm not a swinger and definitely don't belong on this website so it's probably different for me as I look for a deep, meaningful and trustworthy connection before even considering meeting someone.
I don't have an issue with someone chatting to others and would never tell someone what to do, but if I felt like I was one of many then I'd probably back off as I don't want to be caught up with multiple people and just be another notch in the bedpost if that makes sense. I want whatever meets I have to feel like there's nobody but me and them in that moment. "
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What I don't get is this is firstly a swinger site right ok everyone doesn't have to become a hard core swinger so say just kinky sex then. Why would they all of a sudden fall in love or start saying they love you. I mean they must have some issues for sure. Thre is plenty apps sites out there who cater for love so go there. Am I wrong?? |
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"Ah could be yes. Although I’ve caught that catfish programme a few times when my daughter has been watching it and people do seemingly fall in love without meeting. Sounds a bit nuts to me. "
I absolutely agree about it being nuts to fall in love with someone you have never met. You can pretend to be anyone online. |
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"What I don't get is this is firstly a swinger site right ok everyone doesn't have to become a hard core swinger so say just kinky sex then. Why would they all of a sudden fall in love or start saying they love you. I mean they must have some issues for sure. Thre is plenty apps sites out there who cater for love so go there. Am I wrong??"
Not sure if it was a reply to my post or in general, but I do find it totally mad, people stating they love someone they have never met. A lot of the times, it is a scam/possible scam, but I guess some people are lonely enough to go looking for love anywhere. |
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"What I don't get is this is firstly a swinger site right ok everyone doesn't have to become a hard core swinger so say just kinky sex then. Why would they all of a sudden fall in love or start saying they love you. I mean they must have some issues for sure. Thre is plenty apps sites out there who cater for love so go there. Am I wrong??"
Yeah you are wrong to be fair. I was referring to people who haven’t yet met. Plenty people have fallen in love on here. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"What I don't get is this is firstly a swinger site right ok everyone doesn't have to become a hard core swinger so say just kinky sex then. Why would they all of a sudden fall in love or start saying they love you. I mean they must have some issues for sure. Thre is plenty apps sites out there who cater for love so go there. Am I wrong??"
Without being terse, yes, you’re wrong.
People meet in all sorts of circumstances, just because they’re swingers doesn’t preclude falling in love. If two people are single, available and into each other, why shouldn’t they act on it just because of where they met? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd not expect someone to only be chatting with but if I got a sniff of being just a number I'd back off quickly and have done. If I were to be meeting it'd be because it's that person specifically I want and I'd expect the same in return. I'm not here to be a convenience to anyone, I'd rather not meet than be a handy stop over on a road trip for example. While it's not a love thing, I'd not want a man who's still wet from his last woman |
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"What I don't get is this is firstly a swinger site right ok everyone doesn't have to become a hard core swinger so say just kinky sex then. Why would they all of a sudden fall in love or start saying they love you. I mean they must have some issues for sure. Thre is plenty apps sites out there who cater for love so go there. Am I wrong??
Without being terse, yes, you’re wrong.
People meet in all sorts of circumstances, just because they’re swingers doesn’t preclude falling in love. If two people are single, available and into each other, why shouldn’t they act on it just because of where they met? "
Yes of course people can fall in love im not saying that but what saying is their is sites specifically for that. |
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