FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > New and struggling.
New and struggling.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone, I’m pretty new to this and I’m struggling to really have anyone interested. Anyone got any tips. I’m literally open to anything so it’s not for lack of being available. Am I too young? Idk lol would just be good to see if anyone’s got some good ideas or tips for me  |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
As with everything it is about making yourself stand out from the crowd. A profile photo is essental it does not have to be a face but something that intrigues and makes people actually look at your profile. Then a good write up saying what you can offer and what you are looking for. Make the layout easy to read break it up with paragraphs as one long continuous paragraph is hard to read |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look like you have a decent body, you should take a few better photos that really show it off, and then chat and make friends in the forums or the chatrooms to pass the time and make connections. It isn't like tinder, it won't be immediate x |
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If you think the pictures you have chosen and the text you’ve written, is good enough to get interest from the very few women or couples on this site, crack on.
Or look around at other guys profiles and get some ideas or check out the endless ‘profile advice’ threads.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Tinder is awful. I am looking for people to actually connect with as well as fun. Not just here for quickies.
Is being in a niche category a requirement? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You look like you have a decent body, you should take a few better photos that really show it off, and then chat and make friends in the forums or the chatrooms to pass the time and make connections. It isn't like tinder, it won't be immediate x"
This is excellent advice, listen to Kittie |
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"Tinder is awful. I am looking for people to actually connect with as well as fun. Not just here for quickies.
Is being in a niche category a requirement? "
It’s not a requirement but it really helps.
Fabs is basically tinder on hard mode. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thank you! Super helpful "
If you press 'reply & quote' on the comment you are replying to, it will make it easier to see which poster you are replying to 
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
First up OP, welcome and good luck with your search - there really is no single magic formula to Fab, it's more about finding what approach works for you, and helps if you have an idea of what you are looking for from the site, which you don't appear to be clear on from your profile, so that may be a good place to start - because once you know you can then articulate it to others and look for people with similar expectations and outlooks.
Generically I'd offer the following five areas that you might want to consider...
Profile - does it give a good reflection of you and what you are looking for? Does it give a reader a flavour of you and your personality?
Pictures - have you got a decent set of pics that show off your body from various angles? Are they teasing and creative not just a series of cock pics? Will they appeal to others?
If you're unsure about either of the above look around at other verified guys profiles for ideas of what might work for you.
Expectations - what are they, and are they correctly set? If you're expecting instant meets and connections they're set too high.
Attitude - have you got this right? Are you always positive in your interactions? More importantly are you considerate and respectful in the way you approach others?
Approach - this is possibly the area a lot of guys fall down as it encompasses all of the other points to an extent, and get your approach to the site wrong and you'll end up frustrated. Remember too that there is more to Fab than just sending blind messages to other users whose profiles appeal - the forums are a great way to get to know people, as are the chat rooms, likewise group socials and clubs, so consider those than just scatterbombing messages to everyone that appeals which is probably the most soul destroying approach to take.
Remember too that you can't possibly appeal to everyone, so accept that the majority of the time that attraction won't be mutual and take it on the chin when you don't get a reply or get a knock back.
You mentioned your age, and while it's true that for a lot of people your age will rule you out, there are still those who will be looking for someone your age, so focus your attentions on those whose profiles indicate they may be looking for people in your age group.
Hope that's helped....good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you! Super helpful
If you press 'reply & quote' on the comment you are replying to, it will make it easier to see which poster you are replying to
"
I am really not with it this morning. I guess it’s nice to say thank you to everyone anyway, but that was aimed for kitty! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"First up OP, welcome and good luck with your search - there really is no single magic formula to Fab, it's more about finding what approach works for you, and helps if you have an idea of what you are looking for from the site, which you don't appear to be clear on from your profile, so that may be a good place to start - because once you know you can then articulate it to others and look for people with similar expectations and outlooks.
Generically I'd offer the following five areas that you might want to consider...
Profile - does it give a good reflection of you and what you are looking for? Does it give a reader a flavour of you and your personality?
Pictures - have you got a decent set of pics that show off your body from various angles? Are they teasing and creative not just a series of cock pics? Will they appeal to others?
If you're unsure about either of the above look around at other verified guys profiles for ideas of what might work for you.
Expectations - what are they, and are they correctly set? If you're expecting instant meets and connections they're set too high.
Attitude - have you got this right? Are you always positive in your interactions? More importantly are you considerate and respectful in the way you approach others?
Approach - this is possibly the area a lot of guys fall down as it encompasses all of the other points to an extent, and get your approach to the site wrong and you'll end up frustrated. Remember too that there is more to Fab than just sending blind messages to other users whose profiles appeal - the forums are a great way to get to know people, as are the chat rooms, likewise group socials and clubs, so consider those than just scatterbombing messages to everyone that appeals which is probably the most soul destroying approach to take.
Remember too that you can't possibly appeal to everyone, so accept that the majority of the time that attraction won't be mutual and take it on the chin when you don't get a reply or get a knock back.
You mentioned your age, and while it's true that for a lot of people your age will rule you out, there are still those who will be looking for someone your age, so focus your attentions on those whose profiles indicate they may be looking for people in your age group.
Hope that's helped....good luck "
Yes it was very helpful thank you. I think what I’ve struggled with is that I just get messaged by so many demanding and rude guys who seem to go into chatting with me thinking they deserve something before we’ve even spoken for any length of time. I probably just need to use the block button a bit better.
I think my next thing to do is add some more photos thank youuuu |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think my next thing to do is add some more photos thank youuuu"
Oooo we have a photo challenge running this weekend... Have a look in the lounge (or click the green arrow next to my name).. Perfect opportunity! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Oooo we have a photo challenge running this weekend... Have a look in the lounge (or click the green arrow next to my name).. Perfect opportunity! "
On it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi everyone, I’m pretty new to this and I’m struggling to really have anyone interested. Anyone got any tips. I’m literally open to anything so it’s not for lack of being available. Am I too young? Idk lol would just be good to see if anyone’s got some good ideas or tips for me "
Even after a year I’m still the same, not having much luck. Even attaching a face pic and being polite, maybe people just don’t like the look of me who knows! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From what you've said in this thread OP, I get the impression that you're expecting others to come and find you, rather than taling a more pro-active approach.
As us single men are in the majority on fab, outnumbering the ladies by around 100 to 1, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that.
Many of the ladies here don't have time to go looking for guys as they're often too busy sorting out their inboxes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you just need time.
Use your profile to talk about your likes and dislikes, the things you would like to do. The things you are passionate to do.
When socials and meet and greets are organised, go meet some local swingers.
Remember not every person you meet will want to fuck you. But use socials as a way to build up contacts and friends.
These contacts are your gateway to parties, events ect.
Once you get a reputation, things get easier.
Swingers love reliability and consistency and privacy.
If you say you will be there, then be there.
Be ready for lots of rejection but also be ready for lots fun. Swinging is a blast.
Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From what you've said in this thread OP, I get the impression that you're expecting others to come and find you, rather than taling a more pro-active approach.
As us single men are in the majority on fab, outnumbering the ladies by around 100 to 1, I'm afraid it doesn't work like that.
Many of the ladies here don't have time to go looking for guys as they're often too busy sorting out their inboxes.
"
That does make sense. I want to be proactive but I have a crippling fear of being annoying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You look like you have a decent body, you should take a few better photos that really show it off, and then chat and make friends in the forums or the chatrooms to pass the time and make connections. It isn't like tinder, it won't be immediate x
This is excellent advice, listen to Kittie"
Always listen to Kitty  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You look like you have a decent body, you should take a few better photos that really show it off, and then chat and make friends in the forums or the chatrooms to pass the time and make connections. It isn't like tinder, it won't be immediate x
This is excellent advice, listen to Kitty
Always listen to Kitty "
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Yes it was very helpful thank you. I think what I’ve struggled with is that I just get messaged by so many demanding and rude guys who seem to go into chatting with me thinking they deserve something before we’ve even spoken for any length of time. I probably just need to use the block button a bit better.
I think my next thing to do is add some more photos thank youuuu"
You can always set your filters to stop single guys contacting you and just contact the ones you want to interact with.
I'd suggest pics and work on your profile text would be a good next step |
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