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Mental health and fab
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Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative... |
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"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
 "
I don’t really have much advice other than if something is affecting your mental health so much I think you should take a break from it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative..."
You raise a valid point and as most people I am guessing that most people join on a whim much like I did. I thought when I joined it would be more of a community and I would at least make some acquaintances and have a social or two with absolutely no expectations of anything else. However I've had 0 interest and been ghosted on numerous occasions |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"op what keeps you here if your mental health is suffering"
I am an optimist. I always hope that il make some acquaintances eventually but the time goes on. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This site is not worth you damaging your mental health OP x"
The thing is, that's giving up, I firmly believe that something will happen somewhere sometime. It was a broad subject as mental health is important. |
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"Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative...
You raise a valid point and as most people I am guessing that most people join on a whim much like I did. I thought when I joined it would be more of a community and I would at least make some acquaintances and have a social or two with absolutely no expectations of anything else. However I've had 0 interest and been ghosted on numerous occasions"
You did only join 7 months ago, during which we were in lockdown so no one was ( should of been) meeting for socials or anything. Plus if you chat to someone and then they stop isn't ghosting..maybe you really just aren't their type. But really If it's getting you down bud you should have a break  |
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You joined during a global pandemic which has changed the site over the past year.
When the social events start happening again OP get yourself to some of those as they are a great way to meet and get to know people better x |
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By *EAT..85Woman
over a year ago
Nottingham |
"Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative..."
I think this is a really valid point. You hear time and again of it battering mens confidence and self worth. Do dating sites offer a similar disclaimer though? I would assume most of these places are single male(profile at least) heavy.
An ad like in gambling: when it stops being fun, stop... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This site is not worth you damaging your mental health OP x
The thing is, that's giving up, I firmly believe that something will happen somewhere sometime. It was a broad subject as mental health is important."
You joined the same time as me, right in the middle of lockdown. And now it's lifting some women (me being one) haven't got the confidence to meet anyone just yet. Or maybe still worried about meeting for health reasons. If you don't want to 'give up' then stick with it and don't hold high expectations  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative...
You raise a valid point and as most people I am guessing that most people join on a whim much like I did. I thought when I joined it would be more of a community and I would at least make some acquaintances and have a social or two with absolutely no expectations of anything else. However I've had 0 interest and been ghosted on numerous occasions
You did only join 7 months ago, during which we were in lockdown so no one was ( should of been) meeting for socials or anything. Plus if you chat to someone and then they stop isn't ghosting..maybe you really just aren't their type. But really If it's getting you down bud you should have a break "
Yes I agree I joined during lockdown. I don't accept that someone just abruptly stoping a conversation is not ghosting especially when the conversation had been flowing and was completely normal conversation. Type doesn't even come in to it as it was always mutual interest conversation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This site is not worth you damaging your mental health OP x
The thing is, that's giving up, I firmly believe that something will happen somewhere sometime. It was a broad subject as mental health is important.
You joined the same time as me, right in the middle of lockdown. And now it's lifting some women (me being one) haven't got the confidence to meet anyone just yet. Or maybe still worried about meeting for health reasons. If you don't want to 'give up' then stick with it and don't hold high expectations "
I appreciate that thank you I don't hold any expectations at all, it's the lack of conversation that I don't understand. I am not expecting to just up and meet people straight away but to my mind there has to be some form of rapport building first. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative...
I think this is a really valid point. You hear time and again of it battering mens confidence and self worth. Do dating sites offer a similar disclaimer though? I would assume most of these places are single male(profile at least) heavy.
An ad like in gambling: when it stops being fun, stop... "
Totally agree |
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Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out..."
It absolutely isn't that. I've had 0 conversation 0 interaction of any major worth. |
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"This site is not worth you damaging your mental health OP x
The thing is, that's giving up, I firmly believe that something will happen somewhere sometime. It was a broad subject as mental health is important.
You joined the same time as me, right in the middle of lockdown. And now it's lifting some women (me being one) haven't got the confidence to meet anyone just yet. Or maybe still worried about meeting for health reasons. If you don't want to 'give up' then stick with it and don't hold high expectations
I appreciate that thank you I don't hold any expectations at all, it's the lack of conversation that I don't understand. I am not expecting to just up and meet people straight away but to my mind there has to be some form of rapport building first. "
A great start is here in the forums. |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
"
If I may present my experience...I've been on this site for almost 3 weeks now, and have been rejected more times than on any other platform or app ,in the past 6 months. Two weeks ago I was ready to leave this site, but than I said to myself " meh, for all is worth, I can still socialize with people here". Maybe try to readress your expectations for this site, maybe try to simply socialize and detach yourself from the idea that this site will guarantee sex. If you simply think you can't stay in here and is affecting you to a level of depression, than my friend...you need to leave. But I promise you, all men here face constant rejection. The algorithm on this site has created an environment where the woman chooses the man or men, because they have that many options.
All the best to you my friend |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out..."
Yes sorry buddy, it's wall to wall for me I can hardly breathe  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
Yes sorry buddy, it's wall to wall for me I can hardly breathe "
I just wish I could go to work in peace |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
If I may present my experience...I've been on this site for almost 3 weeks now, and have been rejected more times than on any other platform or app ,in the past 6 months. Two weeks ago I was ready to leave this site, but than I said to myself " meh, for all is worth, I can still socialize with people here". Maybe try to readress your expectations for this site, maybe try to simply socialize and detach yourself from the idea that this site will guarantee sex. If you simply think you can't stay in here and is affecting you to a level of depression, than my friend...you need to leave. But I promise you, all men here face constant rejection. The algorithm on this site has created an environment where the woman chooses the man or men, because they have that many options.
All the best to you my friend"
Thank you, yes that is how I've approached it but it's not rejection of sex it's rejection of me as a human complete isolation. I always go in to an initial conversation with 0 expectation of anything other than to talk |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
Yes sorry buddy, it's wall to wall for me I can hardly breathe "
I fucking well knew it!
Bugger. |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
Yes sorry buddy, it's wall to wall for me I can hardly breathe
"
Bugger. Doing it wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
"
I happen to agree with you, its something we shud have thought of before joining. MH is still surprisingly a stigma and snap out of it suggestions. There are some on here who think its a sympathy shag too. I chose to ignore the thread when i read some of the comments i was so angry. In my case same as i did go thru what you did, but i have been strong enough now to concentrate on what works for me on here and thats the forum, because u get the communication from it and despite the odd thread its a lively, fun, caring and above all sexy to follow. So enjoy what you can get out of it i say, and those non replies, are just what they are, not looking for you but hey you know that maybe their loss not yours. Have fun. X |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
Yes sorry buddy, it's wall to wall for me I can hardly breathe
I just wish I could go to work in peace "
That window cleaner |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, just out of interest, do you think women should agree to meet men they have no interest in just because the men might suffer from the rejection?"
I'm not talking about just meeting I'm talking about the fact that nobody takes the chance to even talk. I have 0 expectation |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
It absolutely isn't that. I've had 0 conversation 0 interaction of any major worth."
how can people " ghost you" as you put it if youve had zero interactions? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
I happen to agree with you, its something we shud have thought of before joining. MH is still surprisingly a stigma and snap out of it suggestions. There are some on here who think its a sympathy shag too. I chose to ignore the thread when i read some of the comments i was so angry. In my case same as i did go thru what you did, but i have been strong enough now to concentrate on what works for me on here and thats the forum, because u get the communication from it and despite the odd thread its a lively, fun, caring and above all sexy to follow. So enjoy what you can get out of it i say, and those non replies, are just what they are, not looking for you but hey you know that maybe their loss not yours. Have fun. X"
Thank you x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get yourself out there, to the pubs and clubs it's alot different than fab when it comes to the ratio of men and women, fab is great for the chat and knowledge, not so much the actual connection imo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
It absolutely isn't that. I've had 0 conversation 0 interaction of any major worth.how can people " ghost you" as you put it if youve had zero interactions?"
"0 interactions of any worth" ie the conversation starts and ends with no explanation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it is what I expected, I never assumed I would get replies or be someone's type, if you see someone you like when you are out it is pretty much the same, although I admit you have a slightly better opportunity to make a first impression on someone.
The only advice I can suggest is you have to learn to accept the downsides of being here and if you can't I would gently suggest it may not be the best site for you.
Wish you luck OP |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
It absolutely isn't that. I've had 0 conversation 0 interaction of any major worth.how can people " ghost you" as you put it if youve had zero interactions?
"0 interactions of any worth" ie the conversation starts and ends with no explanation"
That's just fab life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get the OP’s point about the flow of communication. Part of the problem is the genuineness of people in my humble opinion. So many people join fab with the strangest of agendas, the limiting of who you talk to protects you from that somewhat.
Fab is a small part of the swinging community and lifestyle over all. The pandemic hasn't helped in any way shape or form. I would even hazard a guess the ‘popular people’ have had issues too.
People have given some good advice so far. Hopefully with the real world slowly returning to normal things will improve for you OP |
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I know everyone uses this site differently but for us we really don't like the idea of long chats and socialising.
We come here for naughty fun, and only really chat to people that we instantly like the look/info of.
Best of luck though and keep your head up! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I get the OP’s point about the flow of communication. Part of the problem is the genuineness of people in my humble opinion. So many people join fab with the strangest of agendas, the limiting of who you talk to protects you from that somewhat.
Fab is a small part of the swinging community and lifestyle over all. The pandemic hasn't helped in any way shape or form. I would even hazard a guess the ‘popular people’ have had issues too.
People have given some good advice so far. Hopefully with the real world slowly returning to normal things will improve for you OP"
Thank you for the reply and understanding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all about expectations isn't it? I would never rely on any social media site for my mental well being. They invariably have the opposite effect. If it stops being fun, stop.
The best thing to do is to attend some socials in person. Get to know people that way and then you may develop some connections. There is no entitlement to anything on here or anywhere else. Just be yourself and let things happen naturally. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
"
The last year and part has been tough for a lot of people.
You are one of millions that feel this way.
When things don't work take a break. Doesn't matter for how long just step back.
You have nothing to be ashamed of, you are a human being each one of us has problems large or small.
You come first. Good luck bud |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Did you consider this before joining? Did you even think it might be a factor?
I would admit, it never crossed my mind (who'd say no to me?).
;-)
It's an interesting one, if you were aware of the above would you have given it a go anyway, or considered that you may struggle and therefore give it a miss?
Should there be some (prominent) notices about the nature of the site and how it generally pans out for single blokes? Or would that put people off and therefore not be as lucrative...
I think this is a really valid point. You hear time and again of it battering mens confidence and self worth. Do dating sites offer a similar disclaimer though? I would assume most of these places are single male(profile at least) heavy.
An ad like in gambling: when it stops being fun, stop... "
I think that the key point is that it can affect mental health but I tend to find that those who are struggling with rejection are the ones that had unrealistic expectations on joining.
Personally fab increased my self esteem and helped my confidence and has done so for others |
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People haven't been chatty during lockdown. There was thread after thread about it so I know it wasn't isolated to just a few people. Private convos have felt like pressure even though nobody is applying any pressure, but subconsciously there is pressure to reply.... coz as you've shown, once you get into a couple of messages, it can play on the mind of the person if you suddenly stop responding. So what do people do? Don't get into it in the first place and take care of themselves and their own mental health.
It will serve you well to remember you won't have been the only person going through a shitty time and convos haven't been forthcoming across the board.
I'll tell you the same as I tell everyone else, if you want to speak to people, go to where the people are - organised socials, clubs, munches etc. That's WHY those people are there.
The site? Use it to keep up to date with said events and then to keep in contact with those you may connect with at said events.
The site itself is a tool. A platform.
Not everyone here is here for the same reasons and to think otherwise will without doubt make you feel left out. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
It can be hard on here for men a lot tougher than it is for women to get converstions going. In saying that tho no one has to chat unless they want to and personally I'm not doing a lot of chats anymore especially in recent months. Because even when I have said I'm not interested in meeting someone and they ask to just chat they 90 per cent of the time after a short while start on about now we have been chatting when will we meet. Even though made it perfectly clear it was not doing to happen so now I don't see a lot of point in just chatting .
Also people stopping chatting is normal on here it's not ghosting someone not showing up to a meet is what I think ghosting is. If someone stops chatting well that's just what happens usually they find someone else to chat to .It's not a big deal .If you do find it is getting to you at any point then take a break for a bit. |
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"OP, just out of interest, do you think women should agree to meet men they have no interest in just because the men might suffer from the rejection?
I'm not talking about just meeting I'm talking about the fact that nobody takes the chance to even talk. I have 0 expectation"
Except for expecting people to talk to you. And presumably when they do, you want it to go further. |
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Given you joined during a pandemic I'm not entirely sure what you expected op but but heres my twopenneth.
For a lot of people especially during the past year or so daily life can be an exhausting grind what they do on here is probably about 5% (totally verifiable statistic honest) of their life, other pressures come into play such as work, family, Bill's, illness, stress, worry even death of loved ones, you say you've been ghosted but you need to remember that there may be a perfectly valid reason why someone has stopped talking to you that isn't actually about you, life gets in the way and I would imagine (for us at least) when things get difficult the "nice man" on fab is the last thing on their minds. In a nutshell you kinda just have to accept that on that particular occasion it didn't lead to anything.
Best advise would be to not beat yourself up about it, accept that times are tough at the moment and now that things are relaxing get your name down for local socials etc and get your face and personality out there (its difficult to get your personality across online) but most of all have patience grasshopper all good things and all that jazz.
Things will get easier and doors will open for you but I think at the moment a lot of people are feeling a little bit anxious and uneasy about stepping back out into the world in it's current state.
Mr H. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What Princess Peach and others have wrote is really solid words of advice OP
I know it’s been some year but really when clubs and socials are up and running go to them. Meet people connect and then use this as a tool to keep in touch and connect with others... that’s what I did.
Speaking from my personal experience, I went to a club before I even heard of fab and was told about this there... So from when I made this, I was able to find the people I’d met there and take things from that and I used this as a tool to take things further.
So all I can add is it is certainly worth being patient wait for clubs to open and socials to start. Go to them and meet like minded people who are there to meet others like yourself...
Good luck |
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
It absolutely isn't that. I've had 0 conversation 0 interaction of any major worth."
You have a verification for a cam meet on 21st April. I’m sure she’d be delighted to hear that interacting with her has no worth  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, just out of interest, do you think women should agree to meet men they have no interest in just because the men might suffer from the rejection?
I'm not talking about just meeting I'm talking about the fact that nobody takes the chance to even talk. I have 0 expectation
Except for expecting people to talk to you. And presumably when they do, you want it to go further."
You assume wrong, the conversation I have had has started it in its infancy with introductions and discussing mutual interests that we have (not fab related) and then out of nowhere it just stops. So no to assume would make an ass out of u and me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps your perception of the site is the problem? It's not a complete shagfest, rather a place to meet other liberated people with similar interests. If that leads to anything then it's a bonus, otherwise enjoy the forums and perv the photos x. Would you expect to fuck everyone you met on a night out?
I pray to God it's not a shagfest and I've been missing out...
It absolutely isn't that. I've had 0 conversation 0 interaction of any major worth.
You have a verification for a cam meet on 21st April. I’m sure she’d be delighted to hear that interacting with her has no worth "
One conversation and haven't heard from since |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
From a single mans point of view, yes it can actually be soul destroying, if your face doesn't fit, you are not getting past that first message, that sadly is the truth and reality of fab, if there isn't that initial attraction, it highly unlikely that that anyone will make the effort to actually get to know who you really are.
You can resign yourself to the fact that getting a meet would be a miracle, and stick around for the forums, or go unlos |
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"From a single mans point of view, yes it can actually be soul destroying, if your face doesn't fit, you are not getting past that first message, that sadly is the truth and reality of fab, if there isn't that initial attraction, it highly unlikely that that anyone will make the effort to actually get to know who you really are.
You can resign yourself to the fact that getting a meet would be a miracle, and stick around for the forums, or go unlos"
That ain't just fab, that's real world too, it's a fact of life a part of being human.
Mr H. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP, just out of interest, do you think women should agree to meet men they have no interest in just because the men might suffer from the rejection?
I'm not talking about just meeting I'm talking about the fact that nobody takes the chance to even talk. I have 0 expectation
Except for expecting people to talk to you. And presumably when they do, you want it to go further.
You assume wrong, the conversation I have had has started it in its infancy with introductions and discussing mutual interests that we have (not fab related) and then out of nowhere it just stops. So no to assume would make an ass out of u and me"
Maybe you are not offering the kind of conversation people want? Perhaps it's a bit of a catch 22, you get turned down a lot so you begin to expect that and that is how you present yourself, people are incredibly quick to pick up on a low sense of self esteem and many find it off putting so they tend to ignore you feeding your expectation of being rejected.
I've read lots of profiles that come across a bit "poor me" and find them irritating and off putting. In real life too, there are a couple of people I know through work who I actively avoid contact with because I know the convo will all be woe is me yet who will always have a semi plausible list of reasons why it is everyone else's fault or at least why they are unable to change the situation.
You have been offered quite a bit of support on this thread and I know how hard it can be to see positives in a situation when your mental health is low but sometimes we need to force ourselves to do so to break the cycle.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I've been thinking a lot about this lately. On a personal level my mental health has suffered as a result of fab. The constant rejection, being ignored and most people saying "you're not my type" has me thinking "am I for anyone here". It makes me feel worthless at times. Thankfully I am strong enough to know it's not the be all and end all but I think it is an important message to make that for all the "non popular people" it must get very tough.
Thanks for reading all
"
Maybe being on a website where preference is key, this probably isn’t the best place to handle rejection then. The majority of people on this site have set in stone, on who they are looking to meet with. 9/10 it isn’t you, it’s the preference of the individual. But if it’s affecting your mental health, I’d seek any sort of medical advice (if you don’t already) or ultimately I’d come of fab altogether mate.
One thing you shouldn’t do, is not be open to how you’re feeling. Talking about mental health is always a great step, so if you need anything inbox is open mate.
Chin up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My personal view is that people will always accept and reject as its just natural, your not always going to be everyone's cup of tea, like as am very new to here so a lot of people might not want someone who is so vanilla and prefer someone with more experience
It can boil down to a simple things as there's no attraction or clash of personalitys, as long as your being as open and honest as possible is the main thing and not to dwell on a someone not replying as eventually some one will reply.
Just treat everyone with respect as well as there decisions to reply or not to |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Please don't be disheartened OP. All good things come to those who wait.
What is it your looking for fWB fuck buddy NSA.
Good luck OP xx"
To be honest I don't have a preference. I first and foremost want to connect with someone xx |
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"Please don't be disheartened OP. All good things come to those who wait.
What is it your looking for fWB fuck buddy NSA.
Good luck OP xx
To be honest I don't have a preference. I first and foremost want to connect with someone xx"
Your best bet is to join in on the forum. It will get you known & people (women) will be more likely to chat to you.
Good luck, OP. X |
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OP, it's nothing personal, men outnumber women on here by an order of magnitude and that means us chaps are all at a big disadvantage when it comes to getting noticed.
Maybe see if there are any local kik groups, that's how I found it easier to connect. |
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