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Why a married cheating wife wants me to stay exclusive to her
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it wrong that I won’t stay exclusive to a married woman who sees me once a week/fortnight."
If you’ve stated your intentions all along no it’s not wrong so keep to the arrangement or adios   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So it’s ok for her to have 2 blokes on the go but not you to have 2 women?
Bin her off she’s not worth it.
She’s hardly in a position to ask anything of you.
I’m wondering why you were prepared to hang around in the wings for so long, unless you’re hoping she’d invite you onto centre stage and bin off her hubby |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s been the same arrangement for nearly 18 months. So not sure what’s going on recently as she never questioned it before now.
"
Perhaps as life is starting to return to normal she realises you will have opportunity to see others. If your desire to see others is stronger than being exclusively available to her, then you have your decision
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By *iver1uk OP Man
over a year ago
kettering |
I’m not looking to replace her hubby.
It worked for 18 months.
Great fun times, fantastic sex and no commitment.
Just not looking for a committed relationship with 1 person, let alone a married one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not looking to replace her hubby.
It worked for 18 months.
Great fun times, fantastic sex and no commitment.
Just not looking for a committed relationship with 1 person, let alone a married one"
You prob just need to have a chat and reset boundaries.. Perhaps through lock down she has grown comfortable with the current arrangement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m not looking to replace her hubby.
It worked for 18 months.
Great fun times, fantastic sex and no commitment.
Just not looking for a committed relationship with 1 person, let alone a married one"
Maybe a lot of the reasons it's worked for the last 18 months has something to do with covid? Now you're allowed your freedom back but she's in exactly the same place ie married then the arrangement doesn't work for her. Think that perhaps jealousy and selfishness are rearing their ugly heads ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it wrong that I won’t stay exclusive to a married woman who sees me once a week/fortnight.
You could look for a replacement woman on here.  "
Sounds like you are offering yourself  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it wrong that I won’t stay exclusive to a married woman who sees me once a week/fortnight.
You could look for a replacement woman on here.
Sounds like you are offering yourself "
No it's ok you can if you like.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to be honest.
I did shit in a womens shoes.
She was a right stuck up cow so when she was asleep I layed a right steamer in her favourite red shoes.
#Justice for men |
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By *iver1uk OP Man
over a year ago
kettering |
Oh well that phone call has just answered that thread.
According to her I’m either exclusive to her or we are finished.
She doesn’t want to lose me or see others?
Explained that she’s not exclusive to me as she’s married and we were never exclusive so sorry but bye.
Ohh well all good things come to an end.
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I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
"
This |
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
This "
. I’m just not a fan of posts knocking other people. |
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" . I’m just not a fan of posts knocking other people. "
That’s what I meant. Obviously I totally agree if something isn’t making you happy then remove yourself from that situation but someone once made a thread about me painting me to be a timewaster and other things and it was totally twisted. It infuriated me people going ‘aww what a stupid cow’ so I went on and put them right  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
"
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts! |
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts! "
Hypocrisy or not. That’s what she wants. He doesn’t. So they both move on. They want different things |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts! "
A woman can never be wrong, to some people on here.
She wants her cheaters cake and eat it too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts!
A woman can never be wrong, to some people on here.
She wants her cheaters cake and eat it too.
"
We've only got one side of a story here and broadcasting it in public doesn't reflect well on the op |
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts!
A woman can never be wrong, to some people on here.
She wants her cheaters cake and eat it too.
"
Nobody’s saying it isn’t ‘wrong’. I was just trying to shed light on the potential other side of the scenario to give OP (& others) some insight! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be fair we haven’t heard anything about her side of the story. Maybe she’s stuck in a loveless sexless marriage. Maybe she sees you as an out.
Bit one sided. But ultimatums are wrong. "
I don't agree an ultimatum is wrong at all. I gave my ex wife an ultimatum - we get counselling or I'm out. The alternative is effectively an ultimatum from the other side "I don't care if this makes you unhappy, it's the way I am so tough" Is the ultimatum her saying "be faithful or else" or him saying "I won't be faithful, take it or leave it?"
The OP asked a question and got a lot of answers giving him the validation he wanted. He subsequently added that feelings were becoming involved on her part. We don't know anything of either his or her behavoir so cannot judge whether what she asked was reasonable or not. For example "I'm going to carry on shagging hubby and you, both on the same night if possible but you have to be faithful" is very different to "Hubby and I have agreed to living separate lives but we will stay together in the house until the kids are x age, I've found I'm in love with you, I want more than a fuck buddy, are you able to commit to us even if that means waiting x years till we can be together"
We don't know so cannot answer the OP other than to say that as the situation has changed he has to do what is right for him and I would add that as she now has feelings what is right for him should out of common decency not involve using her and causing her hurt.
Mr |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts!
A woman can never be wrong, to some people on here.
She wants her cheaters cake and eat it too.
We've only got one side of a story here and broadcasting it in public doesn't reflect well on the op "
In terms of posts on here, we only ever get one side of a story |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
I can see how you’ve read it like that but there is a basic hypocrisy in asking for exclusivity when engaging in adultery.
Yes, there is a bravery in being honest about what she wants but it seems more like delivering an ultimatum, than expressing her needs.
It’s a bit like applauding someone for making racist comments, yes there’s a bravery there in expressing those thoughts but they’re still bad thoughts!
A woman can never be wrong, to some people on here.
She wants her cheaters cake and eat it too.
We've only got one side of a story here and broadcasting it in public doesn't reflect well on the op
In terms of posts on here, we only ever get one side of a story"
Correct |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quite often cheaters compartmentalise their lives. The relationship with her husband where she's cheating bears no in her consciousness to the relationship she wants with you.
She's not polyamorous. She is a person who has two very separate monogamous relationships |
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By *iver1uk OP Man
over a year ago
kettering |
To shed some light on her side.
She is married to the same guy for nearly25 years. No children.
Yes the both share the same bed.
Yes she wants to be able to have sex with her husband when she wants.
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"To shed some light on her side.
She is married to the same guy for nearly25 years. No children.
Yes the both share the same bed.
Yes she wants to be able to have sex with her husband when she wants.
"
If you're happy being an option rather than a priority agree to her terms. If not walk away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to develop some crazy issues.
Like when she's asleep take a dump on the bed right next to her.
When she asked what are you doing tell her your building a wall.
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"To shed some light on her side.
She is married to the same guy for nearly25 years. No children.
Yes the both share the same bed.
Yes she wants to be able to have sex with her husband when she wants.
"
Sorry now but I'm surprised you're even asking the question  |
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"It's been decided.
I don't/ won't be exclusive for her, and she won't accept that so time for us to both move on.
"
You've made the right decision OP, it can't be one rule for you and another for her. Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ll be honest. I’ve been ‘the woman’ and you can’t help how you do or don’t feel. She has only been honest with you and you sound like you’re mocking her (and her feelings she probably didn’t want or expect to have) to anyone who will listen. I don’t think it’s unreasonable that someone who has spent that much time invested in you and your ‘relationship’ should develop feelings and a familiarity and trust.
Maybe think about any signs you’ve given off to her that might have led her to believe it might or was going further.
You’re right that she she has no right to ‘make demands of you but you’re mocking a friend for opening up to you.
I think it’s a bit of a cruel post imho.
"
Nope. Not a bit cruel. The mockery well deserved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don’t think it’s a disrespect issue, more a attachment problem.
Just shit in her shoes
#winningpost"
Made me lol a lot too! Deffo agree with that .. shit in her shoes |
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