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If you have a FWB
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had a few... They started off as just friends that i 100% was not attracted to, but then something just changed and the electricity was off the scale... We shagged until the spark went out, which was fairly fast |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a few... They started off as just friends that i 100% was not attracted to, but then something just changed and the electricity was off the scale... We shagged until the spark went out, which was fairly fast "
Exactly! |
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I have one with the title, and a few people who probably are in that sort of category.
It started the other way around, really, Fab meets, and deeper friendships developed.
It's sort of like, best friend and good friends - except with sex involved |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm still looking for one
I've had some in the past who have just moved on got into relationships but still stayed friends. "
** tentatively raises hands ** |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm not sure - intense chemistry, enjoying spending time with them when clothed. They are friends first and foremost, the sex is great and hot but the friendship is important. I know I could talk to them about lots of things not just about sex. |
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By *ogueAngelMan
over a year ago
Near Bath / Bristol |
I'm in a place where I'm not looking for anything too involved, and the FWB place suits that well. Others feel similarly and just want to embrace the fun of the relationship without that big relationship that goes along with it.
Sometimes it's romance, or living out fantasies an experimenting, or it could be BDSM, or hanging out as friends that at the end of the night ends in sex... I think it takes a variety of forms depending on the people in the relationship.
But that's what I love about it. The relationship is relaxed, it's same page, it's fun. And I genuinely care about those I'm with - I want them to enjoy themselves as much as, if not moreso than, me. I feel protective, I value they company, their opinion, and who they are.
It's a combination of all this that brings about the "Friend Plus" relationship. The grey area between friend and lover: it's all the good parts of a loving relationship, just without being in love or relationship.
But that's just me. |
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"Did have but always just have one, not into multiple playmates. It was the chemistry we had, the spark & connection   "
This for me too. Not interested in meeting lots of people. I prefer exclusive. Although I have made the rare exception. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Based on some of the descriptions of it here, the difference between a FWB and a polyamorous relationship is that a FWB is just that, a friend whereas a polyamorous lover is part of a shared ‘full’ relationship dynamic.
Am I in the ballpark? I have no experience of either relationship. |
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"Based on some of the descriptions of it here, the difference between a FWB and a polyamorous relationship is that a FWB is just that, a friend whereas a polyamorous lover is part of a shared ‘full’ relationship dynamic.
Am I in the ballpark? I have no experience of either relationship."
I think it depends on your definitions of "friend" and "full relationship", and there's significant overlap/line blurring. Perhaps for a lot of people your assessment is what they would label it as. |
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I had two at the same time. The overlap was nine months. So not exclusive. The first one was more than happy with this. The second one said she was happy about it, but at the end it had become a problem for her. Both lovely people. |
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The connection u av with fwb is so special. Its not just sexual its the fun laughter mental connection how u bounce off each orther .spending time with that person cos u want 2 not just cos its great sex .x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Based on some of the descriptions of it here, the difference between a FWB and a polyamorous relationship is that a FWB is just that, a friend whereas a polyamorous lover is part of a shared ‘full’ relationship dynamic.
Am I in the ballpark? I have no experience of either relationship.
I think it depends on your definitions of "friend" and "full relationship", and there's significant overlap/line blurring. Perhaps for a lot of people your assessment is what they would label it as. "
That’s true, I need to define the parameters of each.
I’ve never seen a friend as someone I would have sex with. It has always been a firm border for me and I have never been tempted to veer from it. Once that line is crossed, I have been in monogamous relationships with them that lasted for several years each.
A polyamorous relationship is akin to that monogamous relationship except we may have more than one such relationship. It’s ‘full’ in the sense that it’s a live-in partner who occasionally leaves for a period.
I hope that made sense. |
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"Based on some of the descriptions of it here, the difference between a FWB and a polyamorous relationship is that a FWB is just that, a friend whereas a polyamorous lover is part of a shared ‘full’ relationship dynamic.
Am I in the ballpark? I have no experience of either relationship.
I think it depends on your definitions of "friend" and "full relationship", and there's significant overlap/line blurring. Perhaps for a lot of people your assessment is what they would label it as.
That’s true, I need to define the parameters of each.
I’ve never seen a friend as someone I would have sex with. It has always been a firm border for me and I have never been tempted to veer from it. Once that line is crossed, I have been in monogamous relationships with them that lasted for several years each.
A polyamorous relationship is akin to that monogamous relationship except we may have more than one such relationship. It’s ‘full’ in the sense that it’s a live-in partner who occasionally leaves for a period.
I hope that made sense."
So I understand solo polyamory is a thing (no live-in partners). How does that fit in?  As I said, there seems to be much overlap. |
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"Based on some of the descriptions of it here, the difference between a FWB and a polyamorous relationship is that a FWB is just that, a friend whereas a polyamorous lover is part of a shared ‘full’ relationship dynamic.
Am I in the ballpark? I have no experience of either relationship."
Labels mean nothing to me really. I know what I want and that’s enough. If someone else wants the same it’s all good. One thing I’ll never want is a “proper” relationship. Nobody will be coming to my house, meeting my kids, having dinner at my parents or any of that. Ever! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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" So I understand solo polyamory is a thing (no live-in partners). How does that fit in? As I said, there seems to be much overlap."
Agreed. Solo polyamory is where people jump off the relationship escalator and decide to ignore the usual relationship "trappings". I don't think there's such a clear cut definition or difference, it depends on the individuals and their decision for the most part.
I've had FWBs that I've loved, I wouldn't say I was in a polyamorous relationship with them though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a query...would you say FWB includes being exclusive? "
Of course, we were fuck buddies that had the occasional night out and fucked alot. We were exclusively sleeping with eachother. No relationship just fwb. |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"...
I’ve never seen a friend as someone I would have sex with. It has always been a firm border for me and I have never been tempted to veer from it. Once that line is crossed, I have been in monogamous relationships with them that lasted for several years each."
All of mine have been found online so the fwb dynamic has been there from the inception. I can't quite imagine turning an existing friendship sexual. (well, maybe one... Probably more of a fantasy.)
I'd be wary of it developing into a relationship, I see friendship as being more sustainable. |
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I had one. Met on tinder. Hadn’t asked previously but she’s 6 foot 3 (I’m 5 foot 6  ).
She’d come here, we’d watch the marvel universe together, then she’d spend the night.
And we did the marvel universe the correct way. In the ti_eline rather than the releases ti_eline. It eventually fizzled out but was a lot of fun.
And it was perfect, she didn’t want a relationship with anyone, didn’t want kids, just marvel and sex lol |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"Just a query...would you say FWB includes being exclusive? "
Depends on the dynamics of the friendship, mine is 150 miles away and we can only see each other infrequently so to stay exclusive wouldn't work we've both agreed on that and happy for each other to see others x |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits? "
when I have one its rare. As I dont tend to do repeat meets. However when I do I'd prefer a couple of them x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks to those who responded to me. I think my issue is that I need to loosen my borders and be less defined by or rigid about them. It seems to boil down to what both parties want and need from whatever relationship it is they have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time "
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB. |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB."
For me it's different from a GF/BF scenario as I don't love a FWB. I care about them but that's as far as it will ever go.
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"Thanks to those who responded to me. I think my issue is that I need to loosen my borders and be less defined by or rigid about them. It seems to boil down to what both parties want and need from whatever relationship it is they have."
Bingo! Gold star right there  Not condescending at all that, was it?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB.
For me it's different from a GF/BF scenario as I don't love a FWB. I care about them but that's as far as it will ever go.
"
That’s interesting. However, you will have only one at a time. |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB.
For me it's different from a GF/BF scenario as I don't love a FWB. I care about them but that's as far as it will ever go.
That’s interesting. However, you will have only one at a time."
I said 'usually' I do only because I don't have a lot of free time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB.
For me it's different from a GF/BF scenario as I don't love a FWB. I care about them but that's as far as it will ever go.
That’s interesting. However, you will have only one at a time.
I said 'usually' I do only because I don't have a lot of free time."
That explains it. It’s a matter of convenience, not because you have wouldn’t consider more. |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB."
It’s totally different. A boyfriend/girlfriend would be in your actual life. I see a FWB as a bubble. We step into that bubble and it’s all about us then we step out of it and do normal life but still keep in touch. I think that’s the best analogy to describe it. A bubble. As for feelings, they’ve never scared me. I seem to be able to separate it fine. I fell for someone big time and vice versa but neither of us still didn’t want anything else. It really does depend on what kind of person you are I think x |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB.
For me it's different from a GF/BF scenario as I don't love a FWB. I care about them but that's as far as it will ever go.
That’s interesting. However, you will have only one at a time.
I said 'usually' I do only because I don't have a lot of free time.
That explains it. It’s a matter of convenience, not because you have wouldn’t consider more."
Not just that. I have always kept my circle small as I simply don't want/need the drama which sometimes arises.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB.
It’s totally different. A boyfriend/girlfriend would be in your actual life. I see a FWB as a bubble. We step into that bubble and it’s all about us then we step out of it and do normal life but still keep in touch. I think that’s the best analogy to describe it. A bubble. As for feelings, they’ve never scared me. I seem to be able to separate it fine. I fell for someone big time and vice versa but neither of us still didn’t want anything else. It really does depend on what kind of person you are I think x"
That makes absolute sense, the bubble analogy. Thanks.
Interesting about the feelings. You’re right about it depending on the person you are and it helps if both parties accept the ‘consequences’ of it on the same level. |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits?
How many do you have, Sparkle?
I usually have just one at a time
.
How is this different from a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario?
It is a surprise to me how deeply some feel about their FWB.
It’s totally different. A boyfriend/girlfriend would be in your actual life. I see a FWB as a bubble. We step into that bubble and it’s all about us then we step out of it and do normal life but still keep in touch. I think that’s the best analogy to describe it. A bubble. As for feelings, they’ve never scared me. I seem to be able to separate it fine. I fell for someone big time and vice versa but neither of us still didn’t want anything else. It really does depend on what kind of person you are I think x
That makes absolute sense, the bubble analogy. Thanks.
Interesting about the feelings. You’re right about it depending on the person you are and it helps if both parties accept the ‘consequences’ of it on the same level."
Exactly. I always have some kind of feelings. I probably couldn’t do it otherwise. But I know I’m in the minority on here with that. People say they don’t know why I’m here but it’s always worked for what I want to be fair. When it doesn’t anymore I’ll be off x |
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In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?"
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned "
Si senorita. |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned "
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good topic OP
I have experienced playing with a wonderful FWB/FB partner on FABS, we played together and in small group sessions for over 2 years and it was a wonderful time
J xx  |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change. "
Yes, this is true. But you both need to ensure you're on the same page as things progress x |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change. "
Yes if you both agree in the future then that’s different but to be honest I won’t change what I want. Too many people make out they’re ok with people seeing other people when they’re so obviously not ok with it. From my point of view I’d rather lay it on at the beginning what I am and not open to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X"
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?"
I think the difficulty is not in talking about it but discovering what it is in the first place. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully "
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them. |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change.
Yes if you both agree in the future then that’s different but to be honest I won’t change what I want. Too many people make out they’re ok with people seeing other people when they’re so obviously not ok with it. From my point of view I’d rather lay it on at the beginning what I am and not open to. "
Yes, I agree Norah. You're very lucky to have someone that agrees with you. Yes, I'd prefer exclusive, but I just don't think I'll find it on here. So, I "settle" until they change or I get strong feelings that would lead to negativity and/or jealousy.
It's worked out ok so far......xx |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it"
I agree. There's got to be something more, that's why people have friends. I've often thought about how I love my friends, I'm excited to see them. It's similar to being in love, only platonic. In a fwb dynamic, I feel like there shouldn't be issues caused by wanting to have sex with other people. If you have a problem with your friends having other friends, there are deeper issues to address. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?"
I have tried in the past but the fear of rejection or being lied to is very real.
|
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change.
Yes if you both agree in the future then that’s different but to be honest I won’t change what I want. Too many people make out they’re ok with people seeing other people when they’re so obviously not ok with it. From my point of view I’d rather lay it on at the beginning what I am and not open to.
Yes, I agree Norah. You're very lucky to have someone that agrees with you. Yes, I'd prefer exclusive, but I just don't think I'll find it on here. So, I "settle" until they change or I get strong feelings that would lead to negativity and/or jealousy.
It's worked out ok so far......xx"
Exactly. If it works for both people then it’s perfect, whatever it is. That’s the beauty of fab. You don’t have to be a swinger. You can be and want whatever you want x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change.
Yes if you both agree in the future then that’s different but to be honest I won’t change what I want. Too many people make out they’re ok with people seeing other people when they’re so obviously not ok with it. From my point of view I’d rather lay it on at the beginning what I am and not open to.
Yes, I agree Norah. You're very lucky to have someone that agrees with you. Yes, I'd prefer exclusive, but I just don't think I'll find it on here. So, I "settle" until they change or I get strong feelings that would lead to negativity and/or jealousy.
It's worked out ok so far......xx
Exactly. If it works for both people then it’s perfect, whatever it is. That’s the beauty of fab. You don’t have to be a swinger. You can be and want whatever you want x"
I'll be your bike seat then. |
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"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them."
I think all you can do is talk them through and establish if they're feeling the same. If yes, bingo! If not, you have 2 choices a) accept they'll see other people & ignore the jealousy or b) now out gracefully & hopefully stay friends.
I can't turn my feelings on and off - they are what they are x |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it
I agree. There's got to be something more, that's why people have friends. I've often thought about how I love my friends, I'm excited to see them. It's similar to being in love, only platonic. In a fwb dynamic, I feel like there shouldn't be issues caused by wanting to have sex with other people. If you have a problem with your friends having other friends, there are deeper issues to address. "
I think the issues arises when one person wants MORE than the FWB. |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I agree. That’s one thing I’ve always done to be fair. Been straight from the start about everything. That way there can be no misunderstanding as far as I’m concerned
But things can change. Relationships are fluid, and what either or both of you want may change.
Yes if you both agree in the future then that’s different but to be honest I won’t change what I want. Too many people make out they’re ok with people seeing other people when they’re so obviously not ok with it. From my point of view I’d rather lay it on at the beginning what I am and not open to.
Yes, I agree Norah. You're very lucky to have someone that agrees with you. Yes, I'd prefer exclusive, but I just don't think I'll find it on here. So, I "settle" until they change or I get strong feelings that would lead to negativity and/or jealousy.
It's worked out ok so far......xx
Exactly. If it works for both people then it’s perfect, whatever it is. That’s the beauty of fab. You don’t have to be a swinger. You can be and want whatever you want x
I'll be your bike seat then."
. Not rode a bike for years. Unless it’s at the gym! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them.
I think all you can do is talk them through and establish if they're feeling the same. If yes, bingo! If not, you have 2 choices a) accept they'll see other people & ignore the jealousy or b) now out gracefully & hopefully stay friends.
I can't turn my feelings on and off - they are what they are x"
I think it works best with both parties know themselves, just as you do. We can’t deny our feelings and it seems best to recognise and face them head on rather than deny our reaction. It doesn’t help resolve anything to pretend we aren’t jealous or have feelings.
I’m starting to get a clearer understanding of it now. Thanks everyone. |
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I think the difficulty is not in talking about it but discovering what it is in the first place."
I think it can be both. As others have said, the fear of rejection or a no, and sometimes you don't know until you've tried it/it's things it hadn't occurred to you to consider. |
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"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them.
I think all you can do is talk them through and establish if they're feeling the same. If yes, bingo! If not, you have 2 choices a) accept they'll see other people & ignore the jealousy or b) now out gracefully & hopefully stay friends.
I can't turn my feelings on and off - they are what they are x
I think it works best with both parties know themselves, just as you do. We can’t deny our feelings and it seems best to recognise and face them head on rather than deny our reaction. It doesn’t help resolve anything to pretend we aren’t jealous or have feelings.
I’m starting to get a clearer understanding of it now. Thanks everyone."
I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway. |
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"Just a query...would you say FWB includes being exclusive?
For me I'd say Fwb would have no idea of others, or have any entitlement to know"
That's an interesting point, Midnight. Should they know? After all, it's not exclusive?
Equally, if one person is hiding seeing other people because they fear the other's jealousy, then that dynamic is definitely skewed. X |
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I do have more than one. Five right now but that's new and may be too many. So far so good though. They are very different from one another. I've been with the most established for almost a year now.
I love the arrangement as i get so much from each of them. But this still leaves me freedom.
Biggest thing that can blow up a fwb is if one starts getting romantuc feelings and getting jealous. Some amount of feeling is normal and i do care about them all but I don't get jealous.
|
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"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them.
I think all you can do is talk them through and establish if they're feeling the same. If yes, bingo! If not, you have 2 choices a) accept they'll see other people & ignore the jealousy or b) now out gracefully & hopefully stay friends.
I can't turn my feelings on and off - they are what they are x
I think it works best with both parties know themselves, just as you do. We can’t deny our feelings and it seems best to recognise and face them head on rather than deny our reaction. It doesn’t help resolve anything to pretend we aren’t jealous or have feelings.
I’m starting to get a clearer understanding of it now. Thanks everyone.
I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway. "
I'll readily admit, that I am a bit scared, Nora. It's all new to me, and I'm still trying to find my comfort zone xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I probably have a few as well if I think about it.
They are all different to each other,
they all are amazing friends and we have a connection and spark that won't go away.
No I don't see them all the time but they are always there for me when needed in more ways than one. 
|
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"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them.
I think all you can do is talk them through and establish if they're feeling the same. If yes, bingo! If not, you have 2 choices a) accept they'll see other people & ignore the jealousy or b) now out gracefully & hopefully stay friends.
I can't turn my feelings on and off - they are what they are x
I think it works best with both parties know themselves, just as you do. We can’t deny our feelings and it seems best to recognise and face them head on rather than deny our reaction. It doesn’t help resolve anything to pretend we aren’t jealous or have feelings.
I’m starting to get a clearer understanding of it now. Thanks everyone.
I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway.
I'll readily admit, that I am a bit scared, Nora. It's all new to me, and I'm still trying to find my comfort zone xx"
You will I’m sure  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've had a few... They started off as just friends that i 100% was not attracted to, but then something just changed and the electricity was off the scale... We shagged until the spark went out, which was fairly fast "
Power cut ? |
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"In an ideal world, a FWB would be an exclusive relationship for me.
But that does seem difficult to come across, as many assume that's moving towards bf/gf territory. This doesn't need to be the case, but would not rule it out ever happening. Relationships are fluid, not static.
That said, I manage my expectations to mitigate confusion - meeting people I like & enjoy being with in both sexual or non sexual scenarios. If I unexpectedly get the "feels", I'll bow out gracefully
That’s the part about it, when or if the “feels” arises, how we can ‘manage’ them.
I think all you can do is talk them through and establish if they're feeling the same. If yes, bingo! If not, you have 2 choices a) accept they'll see other people & ignore the jealousy or b) now out gracefully & hopefully stay friends.
I can't turn my feelings on and off - they are what they are x
I think it works best with both parties know themselves, just as you do. We can’t deny our feelings and it seems best to recognise and face them head on rather than deny our reaction. It doesn’t help resolve anything to pretend we aren’t jealous or have feelings.
I’m starting to get a clearer understanding of it now. Thanks everyone.
I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway.
I'll readily admit, that I am a bit scared, Nora. It's all new to me, and I'm still trying to find my comfort zone xx
You will I’m sure x"
Thanks lovely |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
" I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway. "
Yes, that's definitely true, both positive and negative. I think that there are assumptions made that if feelings develop more will be expected, or you're not a "true" swinger. Or jealousy is the Big Evil. If we communicate our feelings more honestly with others, we're showing kindness to the other and ourselves. It takes time though doesn't it? And it also means facing something that might be a bit scary, the prospect of losing a good thing or missing out on something.
Personally I try and balance my openness on how I feel and what I want with my potential to overthink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
I think the difficulty is not in talking about it but discovering what it is in the first place.
I think it can be both. As others have said, the fear of rejection or a no, and sometimes you don't know until you've tried it/it's things it hadn't occurred to you to consider. "
Exactly this. We won’t know until we’ve tried it but it has helped reading these posts and Meli’s thread about jealousy the other day. |
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" I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway.
Yes, that's definitely true, both positive and negative. I think that there are assumptions made that if feelings develop more will be expected, or you're not a "true" swinger. Or jealousy is the Big Evil. If we communicate our feelings more honestly with others, we're showing kindness to the other and ourselves. It takes time though doesn't it? And it also means facing something that might be a bit scary, the prospect of losing a good thing or missing out on something.
Personally I try and balance my openness on how I feel and what I want with my potential to overthink. "
True. Although to be fair I’m probably not the best person to comment as I’ve only ever done the FWB thing apart from a couple of exceptions so it’s inevitable really if it’s more a long term thing x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What I have noticed is that there can be a problem when one side wants to be able to have numerous partners but have the other remain exclusive to only them.
But again I suppose if all sides are open and honest and agreeable it isnt a problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do have more than one. Five right now but that's new and may be too many. So far so good though. They are very different from one another. I've been with the most established for almost a year now.
I love the arrangement as i get so much from each of them. But this still leaves me freedom.
Biggest thing that can blow up a fwb is if one starts getting romantuc feelings and getting jealous. Some amount of feeling is normal and i do care about them all but I don't get jealous.
"
This matches my expectation of what a FWB meant. That’s the part that needs to be managed, the feelings but as Nora said, it needn’t mean you need to develop it further if both parties are on the same page about what it means for the relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
All I will say to you all is don't have a situation I had where someone I was meeting then told me she loved me and it wasn't how I felt.
It killed everything and really upset her.
You learn things through experience.
Sometimes it's a painful one |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway.
Yes, that's definitely true, both positive and negative. I think that there are assumptions made that if feelings develop more will be expected, or you're not a "true" swinger. Or jealousy is the Big Evil. If we communicate our feelings more honestly with others, we're showing kindness to the other and ourselves. It takes time though doesn't it? And it also means facing something that might be a bit scary, the prospect of losing a good thing or missing out on something.
Personally I try and balance my openness on how I feel and what I want with my potential to overthink. "
Eloquently put. I tend to overthink and overplan!! I even find myself annoying. |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it
I agree. There's got to be something more, that's why people have friends. I've often thought about how I love my friends, I'm excited to see them. It's similar to being in love, only platonic. In a fwb dynamic, I feel like there shouldn't be issues caused by wanting to have sex with other people. If you have a problem with your friends having other friends, there are deeper issues to address.
I think the issues arises when one person wants MORE than the FWB. "
Is there an issue with swinging? There's not that much difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I have noticed is that there can be a problem when one side wants to be able to have numerous partners but have the other remain exclusive to only them.
But again I suppose if all sides are open and honest and agreeable it isnt a problem "
Quite right. It seems to be entirely about being open and honest with each other and yourself. Without that honesty, it’s a breeding ground for issues that will arise eventually. |
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"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it
I agree. There's got to be something more, that's why people have friends. I've often thought about how I love my friends, I'm excited to see them. It's similar to being in love, only platonic. In a fwb dynamic, I feel like there shouldn't be issues caused by wanting to have sex with other people. If you have a problem with your friends having other friends, there are deeper issues to address.
I think the issues arises when one person wants MORE than the FWB.
Is there an issue with swinging? There's not that much difference. "
I'm not sure what you mean? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All I will say to you all is don't have a situation I had where someone I was meeting then told me she loved me and it wasn't how I felt.
It killed everything and really upset her.
You learn things through experience.
Sometimes it's a painful one"
That’s a nightmare scenario....or vice versa. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits? "
I would only have the one, that’s what I’m looking for on here, but if they wanted more then it’s up to them
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
"
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?"
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw. |
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it
I agree. There's got to be something more, that's why people have friends. I've often thought about how I love my friends, I'm excited to see them. It's similar to being in love, only platonic. In a fwb dynamic, I feel like there shouldn't be issues caused by wanting to have sex with other people. If you have a problem with your friends having other friends, there are deeper issues to address.
I think the issues arises when one person wants MORE than the FWB.
Is there an issue with swinging? There's not that much difference.
I'm not sure what you mean? X"
I don’t quite understand either. Isn’t it contrary to swinging when you want more than the sex and friendship? |
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw. "
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits? "
No just the one as we speak and what lead to added benefits was the uncontrollable chemistry between us when we met leading to sensational play times  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw. "
You’d only want a monogamous relationship entirely. Would you ‘swing’ as a soft swing couple (is that the term, when couples don’t swop at all) or not at all?
I’m wondering why you’re here if you aren’t a swinger. I am asking myself the same question. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x"
* quick cough * |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x"
I’m being a bit dramatic. I’d probably cry, feel like I wasn’t good enough, then tell him to fuck off and find someone else. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
"
I am with you Annie |
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x
* quick cough * "
Stop it, now |
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x
I’m being a bit dramatic. I’d probably cry, feel like I wasn’t good enough, then tell him to fuck off and find someone else. "
Me too, if I'm 100% honest |
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By *elethWoman
over a year ago
Gloucestershire |
" I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway.
Yes, that's definitely true, both positive and negative. I think that there are assumptions made that if feelings develop more will be expected, or you're not a "true" swinger. Or jealousy is the Big Evil. If we communicate our feelings more honestly with others, we're showing kindness to the other and ourselves. It takes time though doesn't it? And it also means facing something that might be a bit scary, the prospect of losing a good thing or missing out on something.
Personally I try and balance my openness on how I feel and what I want with my potential to overthink.
Eloquently put. I tend to overthink and overplan!! I even find myself annoying. "
As I understand it jealousy is often the manifestation of insecure attachment, and as such individuals/partnerships can often work through it. That's not say it always is, or should be. Apologies if this has already been discussed on the jealousy thread. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
You’d only want a monogamous relationship entirely. Would you ‘swing’ as a soft swing couple (is that the term, when couples don’t swop at all) or not at all?
I’m wondering why you’re here if you aren’t a swinger. I am asking myself the same question."
I wouldn’t want to share a guy that I was with. Watching someone I had feelings for getting it in with another woman isn’t my idea of fun.
I’m not here to swing, I’m here because 11 years ago I stumbled across this site and never left.
If a guy I was with wanted to watch me with another guy I’d say yeah good luck trying to find someone that I’m attracted to, would also think that he must not care about me that much if he’s happy to watch another guy be intimate with me.
Yeah I’m totally not a swinger. I’d cut a bitch if she put her hands on any man of mine.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x
I’m being a bit dramatic. I’d probably cry, feel like I wasn’t good enough, then tell him to fuck off and find someone else.
Me too, if I'm 100% honest "
...but break his jaw before he fucks off, right? |
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I (male) have had a few fwbs (at different times).
In every case, it was because we got on well, enjoyed each others company and wanted to spend a bit of time together.. That's why they where my freinds  . I'd known every one of them for some time before the physical part happened though.
Obviously it's a bit different as a married man but they all knew my wife and knew about our lifestyle but themselves where not interested in playing with my wife present. One was a swinger (she introduced us to fab) but the others where just single women who wanted to try something new without getting into a relationship at that time. Eventually they did get in to a relationship though and it came to an end.
Would like to make that sort of connection on fab but never have and cant imagine I will either. I'd rather have a something regular that's more than just sex with my meets. But never say never. Maybe if we find a hot wife couple that we both get on with.
 |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"Why do people have such difficulty talking about what they really want?
In what way do you mean? X
In life. In relationships. Just because you are meeting for sex regular doesn't mean there isn't some sort of relationship working. Clearly something is right for you both to repeat it.
Yet people have such difficulty with being honest and open about what they really want because they fear rejection and the word No so much.
Risk it
I agree. There's got to be something more, that's why people have friends. I've often thought about how I love my friends, I'm excited to see them. It's similar to being in love, only platonic. In a fwb dynamic, I feel like there shouldn't be issues caused by wanting to have sex with other people. If you have a problem with your friends having other friends, there are deeper issues to address.
I think the issues arises when one person wants MORE than the FWB.
Is there an issue with swinging? There's not that much difference.
I'm not sure what you mean? X"
I could've posed that better. Couples might see other people, whether together or seperately, because they want more. As long as each is honest about what they want & how this might change as the relationship/dynamic develops, and safe & responsible about how it affects the other person, there shouldn't be a problem exploring many things, even if it doesn't make it past frank discussion.
There was a great thread months ago about how it can be detrimental to rely on one person for all your needs, and how sex could be seen as a hobby. It's something I keep in mind because I am romantic & soft hearted so the temptation to fall for someone & throw myself into a relationship is always there, I need the logic to ground me. (obviously this could change, if I meet the right person, but I'd hope I could keep the open mind.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I think people tend to be scared of feelings on here. A lot do anyway.
Yes, that's definitely true, both positive and negative. I think that there are assumptions made that if feelings develop more will be expected, or you're not a "true" swinger. Or jealousy is the Big Evil. If we communicate our feelings more honestly with others, we're showing kindness to the other and ourselves. It takes time though doesn't it? And it also means facing something that might be a bit scary, the prospect of losing a good thing or missing out on something.
Personally I try and balance my openness on how I feel and what I want with my potential to overthink.
Eloquently put. I tend to overthink and overplan!! I even find myself annoying.
As I understand it jealousy is often the manifestation of insecure attachment, and as such individuals/partnerships can often work through it. That's not say it always is, or should be. Apologies if this has already been discussed on the jealousy thread."
Not at all. I think it’s an important point and it helps to understand how it can arise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My fwbs have always been the off fab variety ... friends first and foremost! Do all the usual friend things ... with amazing benefits!
Longtime one was 14 years, another 8.5 years, normally in the three year bracket ...
Not sure I'd ever find one through fab as those would be based on sex firstly so not the same at all for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
You’d only want a monogamous relationship entirely. Would you ‘swing’ as a soft swing couple (is that the term, when couples don’t swop at all) or not at all?
I’m wondering why you’re here if you aren’t a swinger. I am asking myself the same question.
I wouldn’t want to share a guy that I was with. Watching someone I had feelings for getting it in with another woman isn’t my idea of fun.
I’m not here to swing, I’m here because 11 years ago I stumbled across this site and never left.
If a guy I was with wanted to watch me with another guy I’d say yeah good luck trying to find someone that I’m attracted to, would also think that he must not care about me that much if he’s happy to watch another guy be intimate with me.
Yeah I’m totally not a swinger. I’d cut a bitch if she put her hands on any man of mine.
"
I used to think along the same lines but perhaps not as dramatically.
However, I’ve begun to understand the intimacy of the swop. It isn’t for most, I would imagine and clearly, not for you. That’s wonderful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All I will say to you all is don't have a situation I had where someone I was meeting then told me she loved me and it wasn't how I felt.
It killed everything and really upset her.
You learn things through experience.
Sometimes it's a painful one
That’s a nightmare scenario....or vice versa."
I'll tell you man.
She was texting for ages asking why and let's try etc.
Voice mails of her crying it was so hard to deal with.
She left here in the end and I don't think came back.
Was a bad time |
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"Do you have more than one?
What is it/was about them that made them get the added benefits? "
My ex FWB(now back to being a friend again, except the deep undercurrent of us wanting to shag still runs strong) has immense sex appeal/is funny/likes a cheeky drink/is obssessed with sex and kink.Which is kind of magnetic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x
I’m being a bit dramatic. I’d probably cry, feel like I wasn’t good enough, then tell him to fuck off and find someone else.
Me too, if I'm 100% honest
...but break his jaw before he fucks off, right?
I was joking about the jaw thing. I have metal pins in my jaw from when my step father battered me when I was 15. It’s no joke. Not saying that for people to feel sorry for me. I’m biding my time. When he’s old and in a wheel chair I will roll him down a hill. "
Ok Annie I'll date you on one condition.
Just shut the hell up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
Love your honesty!
But this probably isn't the place to find exclusivity, sadly....x
I’m being a bit dramatic. I’d probably cry, feel like I wasn’t good enough, then tell him to fuck off and find someone else.
Me too, if I'm 100% honest
...but break his jaw before he fucks off, right?
I was joking about the jaw thing. I have metal pins in my jaw from when my step father battered me when I was 15. It’s no joke. Not saying that for people to feel sorry for me. I’m biding my time. When he’s old and in a wheel chair I will roll him down a hill. "
Sweet vengeance, best served when cold. |
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
When you have him, would you think you would swing as a couple when your relationship is strong enough?
Absolutely not and if a guy I was seeing wanted to fuck some other bird I’d break his jaw.
You’d only want a monogamous relationship entirely. Would you ‘swing’ as a soft swing couple (is that the term, when couples don’t swop at all) or not at all?
I’m wondering why you’re here if you aren’t a swinger. I am asking myself the same question.
I wouldn’t want to share a guy that I was with. Watching someone I had feelings for getting it in with another woman isn’t my idea of fun.
I’m not here to swing, I’m here because 11 years ago I stumbled across this site and never left.
If a guy I was with wanted to watch me with another guy I’d say yeah good luck trying to find someone that I’m attracted to, would also think that he must not care about me that much if he’s happy to watch another guy be intimate with me.
Yeah I’m totally not a swinger. I’d cut a bitch if she put her hands on any man of mine.
"
I do get that to be fair. I’ve never got my head around the getting off on watching someone you love fuck someone else. I just can’t understand it at all but to each their own and all that. I could have never done a threesome with my husband, I’d have knocked him out if he even looked at the other woman . I was definitely not born to swing! |
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"
I'm not sure what you mean? X
I could've posed that better. Couples might see other people, whether together or seperately, because they want more. As long as each is honest about what they want & how this might change as the relationship/dynamic develops, and safe & responsible about how it affects the other person, there shouldn't be a problem exploring many things, even if it doesn't make it past frank discussion.
There was a great thread months ago about how it can be detrimental to rely on one person for all your needs, and how sex could be seen as a hobby. It's something I keep in mind because I am romantic & soft hearted so the temptation to fall for someone & throw myself into a relationship is always there, I need the logic to ground me. (obviously this could change, if I meet the right person, but I'd hope I could keep the open mind.) "
Ah, I get you now. Yes, that makes perfect sense to me. I need to use your logic, too  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had one. Met on tinder. Hadn’t asked previously but she’s 6 foot 3 (I’m 5 foot 6 ).
She’d come here, we’d watch the marvel universe together, then she’d spend the night.
And we did the marvel universe the correct way. In the ti_eline rather than the releases ti_eline. It eventually fizzled out but was a lot of fun.
And it was perfect, she didn’t want a relationship with anyone, didn’t want kids, just marvel and sex lol"
Did she marvel at your sex? Lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"All I will say to you all is don't have a situation I had where someone I was meeting then told me she loved me and it wasn't how I felt.
It killed everything and really upset her.
You learn things through experience.
Sometimes it's a painful one
That’s a nightmare scenario....or vice versa.
I'll tell you man.
She was texting for ages asking why and let's try etc.
Voice mails of her crying it was so hard to deal with.
She left here in the end and I don't think came back.
Was a bad time"
I can imagine. That the problem with emotions. They can else hold and won’t bloody let go no matter how we try to tame them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My fwbs have always been the off fab variety ... friends first and foremost! Do all the usual friend things ... with amazing benefits!
Longtime one was 14 years, another 8.5 years, normally in the three year bracket ...
Not sure I'd ever find one through fab as those would be based on sex firstly so not the same at all for me "
It’s perfect when both parties have matching expectations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
"
Will you find him on here? |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
"
I'm not sure what you mean? X
I could've posed that better. Couples might see other people, whether together or seperately, because they want more. As long as each is honest about what they want & how this might change as the relationship/dynamic develops, and safe & responsible about how it affects the other person, there shouldn't be a problem exploring many things, even if it doesn't make it past frank discussion.
There was a great thread months ago about how it can be detrimental to rely on one person for all your needs, and how sex could be seen as a hobby. It's something I keep in mind because I am romantic & soft hearted so the temptation to fall for someone & throw myself into a relationship is always there, I need the logic to ground me. (obviously this could change, if I meet the right person, but I'd hope I could keep the open mind.)
Ah, I get you now. Yes, that makes perfect sense to me. I need to use your logic, too x"
Self defence for softies |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
Will you find him on here?"
She might. I think there are men here who would dearly love to settle with a woman and never swing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's ok with Nora.
She just punches you in the gut. Or in my case hides the orange box I stand on
. I can actually say I’ve never hit anyone or had a physical fight. (My brother doesn’t count!)"
She's only saying that to not put you off folks |
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"It's ok with Nora.
She just punches you in the gut. Or in my case hides the orange box I stand on
. I can actually say I’ve never hit anyone or had a physical fight. (My brother doesn’t count!)
She's only saying that to not put you off folks"
I can calm people with this big gob of mine usually |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's ok with Nora.
She just punches you in the gut. Or in my case hides the orange box I stand on
. I can actually say I’ve never hit anyone or had a physical fight. (My brother doesn’t count!)
She's only saying that to not put you off folks"
She pulled a gun on me once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's ok with Nora.
She just punches you in the gut. Or in my case hides the orange box I stand on
. I can actually say I’ve never hit anyone or had a physical fight. (My brother doesn’t count!)
She's only saying that to not put you off folks
I can calm people with this big gob of mine usually "
Let me tell you about her gob..... No...no...please... I'll be good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
Will you find him on here?"
Nope. I don’t think a guy would want to have a monogamous relationship with a woman he met from a site like this. I also don’t think a guy on here would want a monogamous relationship in the first place.
It would take a super confident self assured man to think it doesn’t matter where you met as long as you met. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
Will you find him on here?
Nope. I don’t think a guy would want to have a monogamous relationship with a woman he met from a site like this. I also don’t think a guy on here would want a monogamous relationship in the first place.
It would take a super confident self assured man to think it doesn’t matter where you met as long as you met. "
Annie.
When I have got into a relationship I delete my account here and I give her the password so she can check it's been done. I even close the account in front of her.
You are right that a relationship must be 100% trust. One single doubt and it's over.
But don't give up. I'm sure a guy on here would like to know you better you just got to be more confident about yourself.
You hold all the cards so deal them |
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We have a FWB and the friendship genuinely just blossomed from occasional meet ups. It's been about 3 years now we have been close and it's a really good (as well as really naughty) friendship
She only lives 30 mins from us which is ideal, so from meeting and having proper date nights or pizza and a film nights we've pretty much covered all bases including meeting eachothers friends and having going to a bbq together. The fun part is no body is none the wiser in either circle of friends as they all think that myself (mrs) and her work together |
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"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
Will you find him on here?
Nope. I don’t think a guy would want to have a monogamous relationship with a woman he met from a site like this. I also don’t think a guy on here would want a monogamous relationship in the first place.
It would take a super confident self assured man to think it doesn’t matter where you met as long as you met. "
There're open minded men about. Trust me. If that doesn't seem a contradiction in terms in light of your comment! |
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"I had one. Met on tinder. Hadn’t asked previously but she’s 6 foot 3 (I’m 5 foot 6 ).
She’d come here, we’d watch the marvel universe together, then she’d spend the night.
And we did the marvel universe the correct way. In the ti_eline rather than the releases ti_eline. It eventually fizzled out but was a lot of fun.
And it was perfect, she didn’t want a relationship with anyone, didn’t want kids, just marvel and sex lol
Did she marvel at your sex? Lol"
Of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think all this friends with benefits shit is killing romance.
I don’t want one. I want just one man that just wants me and that’s it.
Will you find him on here?
Nope. I don’t think a guy would want to have a monogamous relationship with a woman he met from a site like this. I also don’t think a guy on here would want a monogamous relationship in the first place.
It would take a super confident self assured man to think it doesn’t matter where you met as long as you met. "
You’re wrong. I wouldn’t mind at all that she was from a site such as this and I would commit to a monogamous relationship.
I would agree that I may not be the typical male profile but I think there are more of us here than you might think.
I also believe there are many more women than you might suppose who think and desire as you do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried having more than one fwb once and it didn’t work for me, I need that emotional connection too and I can’t share emotionally "
That's normal. Your human |
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