FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Make an effort, do!!
Make an effort, do!!
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Is it me?
Look I don't mean to come across as, well, I don't know...
But in the least few days the messages I have been receiving and ergo the profiles attached to said messages are to put it bluntly... Bloody rubbish!!
Now... I take time with my profile, my photos and my messages and replies...why do some men, and of course it's only some men, think that you're on here so you must be desperate for a fuck, I should be falling at their feet and therefore have to make no effort whatsoever into being a member of this site??! 
Guys you're numerous... Please read a women's profile, please make an effort with photos.
Thank you... Rant over..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s interesting that on a computer, the desktop version of this site shows the text in the profile first and the photos near the bottom.
With the mobile app, it shows the photos as the very first thing and the text at the very bottom of the page the one needs to scroll down to.
Perhaps women ought to appeal to the Admin to change this around to match the desktop version seeing as it seems to be irksome that people don’t read profiles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gr8 tits!
Fuck now?
Are you saying this isn't a time tested proven way to meet?
Next you'll be telling us wolf whistling from a building site doesnt work.
 "
Whit wooo! Y'orite gawjuss?!?!
|
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The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage 
K |
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"The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage
K"
Great theory... But I don't want to send a msg to a dick pic. |
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"The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage
K"
I've always hunted...I don't block single males because I can't be bothered to change my settings frequently for forum games, but I generally ignore my inbox. The problem with blocking single men is that then the "good" attention and constant smoke blowing that some people seem to crave isn't there...you can't filter out just the bad stuff. Ignoring has always worked for me as I'm not particularly bothered if strangers on the Internet think I'm ignorant for not responding to their FAF message...plus it keeps him amused when he does my Fabmin  |
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"The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage
K
Great theory... But I don't want to send a msg to a dick pic."
 send the message to someone you are attracted to instead then…a none dick pic  |
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"The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage
K
I've always hunted...I don't block single males because I can't be bothered to change my settings frequently for forum games, but I generally ignore my inbox. The problem with blocking single men is that then the "good" attention and constant smoke blowing that some people seem to crave isn't there...you can't filter out just the bad stuff. Ignoring has always worked for me as I'm not particularly bothered if strangers on the Internet think I'm ignorant for not responding to their FAF message...plus it keeps him amused when he does my Fabmin "
There is that…
C used to send me some of hers… …it used to make me feel so much better about myself |
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"It’s because men are trying to chat but mostly get ignored. So maybe giving a wee chance would be a good start "
But that's my whole point darling! I'm saying you have to make a little effort in order to even get a reply....thats not too much to ask is it? |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
"It’s because men are trying to chat but mostly get ignored. So maybe giving a wee chance would be a good start
But that's my whole point darling! I'm saying you have to make a little effort in order to even get a reply....thats not too much to ask is it? "
The problem is effort does not nessasirly yeald a result, so most of the guys that are sending these messages have opted for a low effort strategy which will most likely yeald the same results. While the rest of us have stopped messaging new people and stick to the forums or to friends we've already made. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s because men are trying to chat but mostly get ignored. So maybe giving a wee chance would be a good start
But that's my whole point darling! I'm saying you have to make a little effort in order to even get a reply....thats not too much to ask is it? "
Of course it isn’t but I usually find that a conversation or a connection takes two people not just one |
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"It’s because men are trying to chat but mostly get ignored. So maybe giving a wee chance would be a good start
But that's my whole point darling! I'm saying you have to make a little effort in order to even get a reply....thats not too much to ask is it?
Of course it isn’t but I usually find that a conversation or a connection takes two people not just one "
And in that we agree but if I receive a message that is clearly cut and paste or generic, my profile hasn't been read or no pics/awful pics I'm afraid the chance of a conversation is zero.... |
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"Finally, a thread on men not reading profiles.
Hmmm... I can't work out if you're being sarky... Why do you think the forum has so many threads 'on men not reading profiles'?? "
I'd go with sarky myself
My theory on the number of threads it that men don't read profiles. And too many women and couples get upset about it |
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"Finally, a thread on men not reading profiles.
Hmmm... I can't work out if you're being sarky... Why do you think the forum has so many threads 'on men not reading profiles'??
I'd go with sarky myself
My theory on the number of threads it that men don't read profiles. And too many women and couples get upset about it "
I think you're right lovely. But it's not just the not reading of profiles it's the whole you're on here therefore gagging for it so I don't have to make an effort in any sense...
Some of the photos... Jeez...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Now I don’t want this to come to any defence of the guys you are talking about but sending that first message can be difficult knowing that unless the headline is click bait.
Depending on what is in the profile will depend on the content of the message. When I look at messaging women if there is nothing on their profile to connect with or ask about then it is bloody difficult.
I know some guys send 100’s off faf messages and play the numbers game but the genuine ones also have a hard time too when we have nothing to go on
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m 5’1” bald and smoke like a trooper OP
Nice tits, fancy a bum?
I make an effort like you ask and still get ignored
I haven't ignored you, I've deleted you...
"
Thank you  |
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"The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage
K"
Thank you sweet. I will try it your way... x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s because men are trying to chat but mostly get ignored. So maybe giving a wee chance would be a good start
But that's my whole point darling! I'm saying you have to make a little effort in order to even get a reply....thats not too much to ask is it?
Of course it isn’t but I usually find that a conversation or a connection takes two people not just one
And in that we agree but if I receive a message that is clearly cut and paste or generic, my profile hasn't been read or no pics/awful pics I'm afraid the chance of a conversation is zero.... "
And that is a decision you have to make, so have faith in what you feel. It’s nice to have a chat and then a connection builds |
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"
I think you're right lovely. But it's not just the not reading of profiles it's the whole you're on here therefore gagging for it so I don't have to make an effort in any sense...
Some of the photos... Jeez... "
Totally agree, I ignore them. People complain about the jerks on here but I see it as an excellent service.
With all the messages we get, the self-filtering of dicks is very time saving |
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We received a message earlier today that simply said "Pics". That was it. No question, no insight into themselves, no photo attached. Why should we bother to look at the profile of someone who can't even form a sentence? |
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"It’s because men are trying to chat but mostly get ignored."
Correct, most message unsuitable messages and do not read profiles. So they get ignored.
There can be 100s in a day. What would you do if that was your inbox? |
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"We received a message earlier today that simply said "Pics". That was it. No question, no insight into themselves, no photo attached. Why should we bother to look at the profile of someone who can't even form a sentence? "
They didn't even say "send ur pics m8"? |
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By *agic.MMan
over a year ago
Orpington |
"Is it me?
Look I don't mean to come across as, well, I don't know...
But in the least few days the messages I have been receiving and ergo the profiles attached to said messages are to put it bluntly... Bloody rubbish!!
Now... I take time with my profile, my photos and my messages and replies...why do some men, and of course it's only some men, think that you're on here so you must be desperate for a fuck, I should be falling at their feet and therefore have to make no effort whatsoever into being a member of this site??!
Guys you're numerous... Please read a women's profile, please make an effort with photos.
Thank you... Rant over.. "
Ok, me personally... I simply want to be sure that a woman has acknowledged my existence/presence before I actually make an effort. I understand that a simple " hello, how are you" is boring and blunt and possibly be ignored, but it's not disrespectful (and definitely shouldn't upset you, just because it's a low effort message), however if that is not enough for you to check out my profile and say "hello" back, than I probably don't want to make an effort to meet you in the first place (and I am ok with that). We all have principles that we follow
I hope this gives you some insight into how some men think. Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
See it as a positive. If they have sent a crap message or a wet dick pic you know you won't want to meet them so no need to waste any time chatting.
The crap ones make the decent men stand out. |
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"Now I don’t want this to come to any defence of the guys you are talking about but sending that first message can be difficult knowing that unless the headline is click bait.
Depending on what is in the profile will depend on the content of the message. When I look at messaging women if there is nothing on their profile to connect with or ask about then it is bloody difficult.
I know some guys send 100’s off faf messages and play the numbers game but the genuine ones also have a hard time too when we have nothing to go on
"
I can only talk about mine.. I have no idea what is on other women's profiles... I do know what is on a lot of men's profiles...
Erm.. Nothing.. 
No.. I'm sorry sending a first message is not hard. It really isn't... But it's not just that... Some of the photos I have seen or been sent... |
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"*Posts a forum post...(definition of forum- a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.
*gets told to block and move on if it bothers me..
"
It's just a suggestion. You don't have to block men but you seem frustrated by your current experience so people are offering a suggestion of something you can do to change your experience. Or you can continue as you are. *shrugs* |
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"We received a message earlier today that simply said "Pics". That was it. No question, no insight into themselves, no photo attached. Why should we bother to look at the profile of someone who can't even form a sentence? "
Oh my goodness!!  |
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"*Posts a forum post...(definition of forum- a meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.
*gets told to block and move on if it bothers me..
It's just a suggestion. You don't have to block men but you seem frustrated by your current experience so people are offering a suggestion of something you can do to change your experience. Or you can continue as you are. *shrugs*"
And thank you for your suggestion. No I'm not frustrated but if my post here makes one man rethink their approach then that's great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now I don’t want this to come to any defence of the guys you are talking about but sending that first message can be difficult knowing that unless the headline is click bait.
Depending on what is in the profile will depend on the content of the message. When I look at messaging women if there is nothing on their profile to connect with or ask about then it is bloody difficult.
I know some guys send 100’s off faf messages and play the numbers game but the genuine ones also have a hard time too when we have nothing to go on
I can only talk about mine.. I have no idea what is on other women's profiles... I do know what is on a lot of men's profiles...
Erm.. Nothing..
No.. I'm sorry sending a first message is not hard. It really isn't... But it's not just that... Some of the photos I have seen or been sent... "
That’s why I said I wasn’t defending them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm lucky ... my profile works well for me, my filters work and fabmin is always up to date! Very, very rarely get bad messages and I answer virtually all of them and only get politeness back! I have no idea why/how it works for some but not for others ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello, what is your favourite pizza?
Mr ShagTonight... That sounds good to me "
Gentlemen....don’t overthink it. Please observe this fine example here of how to do it effortlessly. . Thank you Mr. S. Tonight. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hello, what is your favourite pizza?
Mr ShagTonight... That sounds good to me
Gentlemen....don’t overthink it. Please observe this fine example here of how to do it effortlessly. . Thank you Mr. S. Tonight.
 "
I don’t blame you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm lucky ... my profile works well for me, my filters work and fabmin is always up to date! Very, very rarely get bad messages and I answer virtually all of them and only get politeness back! I have no idea why/how it works for some but not for others ... "
Your profile also works for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not all blokes are desperate either, I'm majority would sell there own gran to get there end away,
Effort in photos
Effort on a profile
Why ? Because that clearly shows the effort they'd make during sex ?
We could look at things another way,
Maybe those that put silly desperate amounts of effort into there profiles are majorly arrogant and any sex would have to be all about them
Just a thought
What do I know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all blokes are desperate either, I'm majority would sell there own gran to get there end away,
Effort in photos
Effort on a profile
Why ? Because that clearly shows the effort they'd make during sex ?
We could look at things another way,
Maybe those that put silly desperate amounts of effort into there profiles are majorly arrogant and any sex would have to be all about them
Just a thought
What do I know "
And not I'm |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm lucky ... my profile works well for me, my filters work and fabmin is always up to date! Very, very rarely get bad messages and I answer virtually all of them and only get politeness back! I have no idea why/how it works for some but not for others ...
Your profile also works for me "
Why thank you |
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There seems to be a perception that it's only men who are incapable of reading profiles or forming sentences.
I don't send first contact messages and rarely receive any. I had to reword my profile recently and highlight certain parts because some women and couples were above reading profiles and because I'm the proud owner of a penis I should therefore jump when they say so regardless of my own preferences.
There are endless threads about what people dislike about the site and I often wonder if their lists are so long, why are they even here?
Tighten filters, block those you don't want messaging you and go searching yourself rather than sit back and expect everyone else to do the work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There seems to be a perception that it's only men who are incapable of reading profiles or forming sentences.
I don't send first contact messages and rarely receive any. I had to reword my profile recently and highlight certain parts because some women and couples were above reading profiles and because I'm the proud owner of a penis I should therefore jump when they say so regardless of my own preferences.
There are endless threads about what people dislike about the site and I often wonder if their lists are so long, why are they even here?
Tighten filters, block those you don't want messaging you and go searching yourself rather than sit back and expect everyone else to do the work."
Oh I like your profile! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm lucky ... my profile works well for me, my filters work and fabmin is always up to date! Very, very rarely get bad messages and I answer virtually all of them and only get politeness back! I have no idea why/how it works for some but not for others ...
Your profile also works for me
Why thank you "
It is my pleasure |
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"There seems to be a perception that it's only men who are incapable of reading profiles or forming sentences.
I don't send first contact messages and rarely receive any. I had to reword my profile recently and highlight certain parts because some women and couples were above reading profiles and because I'm the proud owner of a penis I should therefore jump when they say so regardless of my own preferences.
There are endless threads about what people dislike about the site and I often wonder if their lists are so long, why are they even here?
Tighten filters, block those you don't want messaging you and go searching yourself rather than sit back and expect everyone else to do the work."
I absolutely agree it isn't the case that it's just men who send rubbish or downright awful messages. That's why I have all categories blocked. I do think some women on here think that being a woman means they're immune to being creepy and that showing interest alone is enough. I think some need to question how they would react to receiving that same message from a man. To be honest, some of my worst messages have been from couples. Don't get me wrong, a lot of single men are guilty of sending dismal messages but I think it's talked about disproportionately because not only are there lots of them but I think people are less likely to openly talk about the bad messages they get from single women and couples. Also some don't care about the quality of the message if they fancy a woman and she's messaged them. |
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"There seems to be a perception that it's only men who are incapable of reading profiles or forming sentences.
I don't send first contact messages and rarely receive any. I had to reword my profile recently and highlight certain parts because some women and couples were above reading profiles and because I'm the proud owner of a penis I should therefore jump when they say so regardless of my own preferences.
There are endless threads about what people dislike about the site and I often wonder if their lists are so long, why are they even here?
Tighten filters, block those you don't want messaging you and go searching yourself rather than sit back and expect everyone else to do the work."
That's me told!
And yes... Lovely profile x |
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"Not all blokes are desperate either, I'm majority would sell there own gran to get there end away,
Effort in photos
Effort on a pro6file
Why ? Because that clearly shows the effort they'd make during sex ?
We could look at things another way,
Maybe those that put silly desperate amounts of effort into there profiles are majorly arrogant and any sex would have to be all about them
Just a thought
What do I know "
I did say... 'some men'...
I'm not arrogant and I'm very much a giver... Just saying .. |
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"Is it me?
Look I don't mean to come across as, well, I don't know...
But in the least few days the messages I have been receiving and ergo the profiles attached to said messages are to put it bluntly... Bloody rubbish!!
Now... I take time with my profile, my photos and my messages and replies...why do some men, and of course it's only some men, think that you're on here so you must be desperate for a fuck, I should be falling at their feet and therefore have to make no effort whatsoever into being a member of this site??!
Guys you're numerous... Please read a women's profile, please make an effort with photos.
Thank you... Rant over.. "
This.
There is no excuse for bombarding people with crass one line messages and cock shots when their profiles say they don't want them. Guys can improve their chances of success by simply reading profiles before making contact. |
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"The first thing I’d do if I was a female on here is block single guys from messaging me.
95% of messages seem to be completely rubbish so really not worth the hassle of wading through to find a good one.
Then I’d go out and hunt, finding the people I was actually attracted to.
Not sure why that seems to be so difficult to do…
Use the system to your advantage
K
Great theory... But I don't want to send a msg to a dick pic.
send the message to someone you are attracted to instead then…a none dick pic "
My point is there's not many face pics... |
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