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Empty nest syndrome
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My step daughter cried her eyes out the first week saying she wanted to come home.
She cried even more when she had to leave.
It's a hard wrench but time heals. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No but a close friend of mine had a situation like this 2 years ago where her only child went University.
she was like you and really worried about how she would feel but actually has loved it.
Her son is doing really well and she's enjoying having more time to travel and do the the things she's always wanted to do. X
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My step daughter cried her eyes out the first week saying she wanted to come home.
She cried even more when she had to leave.
It's a hard wrench but time heals."
x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No but a close friend of mine had a situation like this 2 years ago where her only child went University.
she was like you and really worried about how she would feel but actually has loved it.
Her son is doing really well and she's enjoying having more time to travel and do the the things she's always wanted to do. X she my daughter is so excited ..I just need to man up I guess
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes! My son is going to uni. It will be the first time I've ever lived properly alone.
Half of me can't wait, half of me is terrified."
feel your pain x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No but a close friend of mine had a situation like this 2 years ago where her only child went University.
she was like you and really worried about how she would feel but actually has loved it.
Her son is doing really well and she's enjoying having more time to travel and do the the things she's always wanted to do. X she my daughter is so excited ..I just need to man up I guess
"
No not at all.
Its ok to be worried, im just saying that you may well find that actually you enjoy the extra time.
I hope it works out well for you and your daughter. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
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My sons just finishing uni... I cried when he went and felt scared.... we’re closer now than ever- I go spend weekends with him and end up with a house full of his friends at times... it’s a hard change in life... but you won’t lose him... it’ll just be different xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
"
I was 18 years ago after being a single parent for a few years. I missed her a lot but - you’ve done your job and it’s now time to set her free. Give her space to make her own mistakes but let her know that you will always be there for her - in good and bad times. Covid has made everything twice as difficult but maybe people are now more open to sharing problems. Before my daughter went off I did give her some experience in the practicalities of leaving home. When we went shopping she chose her budget and I got her to plan what she wanted to eat for the week and write a shopping list. Then she had her own trolley and we met at the cash desk. Budgeting money if she has not had to do it can cause a lot of stress.
Hope it goes well for you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
I was 18 years ago after being a single parent for a few years. I missed her a lot but - you’ve done your job and it’s now time to set her free. Give her space to make her own mistakes but let her know that you will always be there for her - in good and bad times. Covid has made everything twice as difficult but maybe people are now more open to sharing problems. Before my daughter went off I did give her some experience in the practicalities of leaving home. When we went shopping she chose her budget and I got her to plan what she wanted to eat for the week and write a shopping list. Then she had her own trolley and we met at the cash desk. Budgeting money if she has not had to do it can cause a lot of stress.
Hope it goes well for you."
same im gonna do this week..get her to shop with the allowance she had.. Still I'm gonna be stressed.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
I was 18 years ago after being a single parent for a few years. I missed her a lot but - you’ve done your job and it’s now time to set her free. Give her space to make her own mistakes but let her know that you will always be there for her - in good and bad times. Covid has made everything twice as difficult but maybe people are now more open to sharing problems. Before my daughter went off I did give her some experience in the practicalities of leaving home. When we went shopping she chose her budget and I got her to plan what she wanted to eat for the week and write a shopping list. Then she had her own trolley and we met at the cash desk. Budgeting money if she has not had to do it can cause a lot of stress.
Hope it goes well for you.same im gonna do this week..get her to shop with the allowance she had.. Still I'm gonna be stressed.."
I’m sure you have been a brilliant Mum to her. My daughter is 36 and single and I know that when she has good news or bad I am the first person she tells. We have been through a few ups and downs over the years but she knows I always have her back. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My Daughter went to camp america a few years back, i missed her so much, but shit did i save some money when she was gone  "
How did you manage that? I still have to help my daughter out at times. |
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
"
When our eldest went to uni (similar distance) last sept she was nervous (we all were) but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we’d imagined. She returned home over Xmas. When she left again she was like Richard Parker (life of pi) she just set off in to the distance and didn’t look back. What more could you ask to know you’ve done the right thing  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
When our eldest went to uni (similar distance) last sept she was nervous (we all were) but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we’d imagined. She returned home over Xmas. When she left again she was like Richard Parker (life of pi) she just set off in to the distance and didn’t look back. What more could you ask to know you’ve done the right thing "
oh don't get me wrong I want her to follow her dreams and will be guiding her ..but still that horrible gnawing feeling burns inside me..oh and the stress of sorting out student accommodation..landlords are so scummy (daughter observation) |
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
"oh don't get me wrong I want her to follow her dreams and will be guiding her ..but still that horrible gnawing feeling burns inside me..oh and the stress of sorting out student accommodation..landlords are so scummy (daughter observation) "
Most unis have halls of residence for the first year students. They usually put their choice for halls in order of preference, but it’s randomly allocated. So dealing with private landlords tends to be from 2nd year onwards and by then they’ll know the area better around Uni. You can ask your daughter to put you on the permissions to speak to the accommodation officers about any queries in halls.
Your daughter will probably have a mentor when she starts who’s from the second year and they’re a really good source of info too.
The unis are very good at settling students in and have upped their game a lot in terms of wellbeing since the pandemic started.
You’ll both get used to it more easily than you expect. Often the anticipation is worse than the reality.
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"One of my son’s emigrated 6,000 miles away last year, so yeah, it’s always been me and the two boys and now it’s just me   "
6000 miles is a long way. It must feel even further at present. I hope you're ok. |
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OP, I think a lot of parents miss their children when they move out.
It's perfectly normal and you will get used to it.
I'm not overly maternal and wish my stepson and his girlfriend would get their finances in order and move out... They're in their mid 20s
My son lives with his dad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
When our eldest went to uni (similar distance) last sept she was nervous (we all were) but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we’d imagined. She returned home over Xmas. When she left again she was like Richard Parker (life of pi) she just set off in to the distance and didn’t look back. What more could you ask to know you’ve done the right thing "
My daughter did that her first day at school aged 41/2. She ran into school so excited that she didn’t say bye or turn round. I sobbed all the way home in the car. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My daughter went to uni in buxton (I’m in Leicester) and after she graduated she moved to Manchester to live
This year my son is off to uni in Northampton, and if my son passes his army assessment (well he already passed everything except the bleep test) then he’ll be moving to Harrogate for a year to do his army apprenticeship
I’m totally not ready for all the to be living so far away. I though I’d at least have a couple more years with my youngest, he’s only 16. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
I hated my first year at uni I had only just turned 18 was the youngest person by a couple of years in my kitchen. It wasn’t till final year when I moved back in to halls as I was doing a top up that met all my mates |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I dropped my daughter off at uni, I knew she was never going to live back at home again, and she didn't. I think she dealt with it better than I did. Several years later it was my son, work not uni, but he never lived at home again, either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
"
Been there done that and I hear you, it was 7 years ago today that my boy left for his new life. But now Uni is all done and dusted for my boy but he stayed in Scotlabd to work and is still miles away, but I get nice holidays away
Just be kind to yourself, check in with him if you need him and just remember that half term is not far and him and his washing will be home.
What is he studying? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So my daughter off to uni September im not coping with her being 400 miles away..anyone here facing this
"
Yes we are dropping our three (22,20,17) off on the 5th of September in West Sussex and can’t wait to be free for the first time in over thirty years but I do understand your pain op.
Tony |
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