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Empty sex? Why is it different having sex alone with others vs sex with your partner with others?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am struggling to put my finger on this. As a man, when being the third wheel for other couples or having bumped into a woman which has led to some play, I have tended to experience the following…
Whilst in the moment the feeling has been pleasurable, at least I have been driven by my desire to provide as much pleasure as possible, I have generally felt empty afterwards.
Yet when I am with my partner and we meet other couples (and at times single men and women) I have never felt empty afterwards.
In theory the same degree (more or less) of connection and desire is there from both sides. Is it simply due to compersion, being next to the person you love at the end of the evening, both and/or…?
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In the past when I've had ffm's with a partner we had the best sex after she'd left, talked until the early hours about the meet, etc but when I've met a couple as a single woman & gone home to my empty bed I always feel a bit low |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the past when I've had ffm's with a partner we had the best sex after she'd left, talked until the early hours about the meet, etc but when I've met a couple as a single woman & gone home to my empty bed I always feel a bit low"
This is so very true!!!! At the time ive enjoyed it ffm or club meet sex but compared to sex with someone i have more of a connection to there is far less emptyness or questioning. |
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By *xmfrvnMan
over a year ago
Stoke-on-Trent |
Humans are communal creatures, possibly something to do with making the third+ a new member of your group, sharing the rapport of the established couple with the new one, whereas one-to-one it's starting fresh, can take some time to build rapport from scratch. |
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By *tue555Man
over a year ago
Passed Beyond Reach |
It is simply the dynamic and what you expect from it.
I am not interested in meeting or having sex with other women I'm very happy with the one I have.
OH is not interested in having sex with other men - like to think she is happy with the one she has  I have no reason to think otherwise either.
Home fires burn brightly as they say, so why go outside of the relationship for something you can get in the relationship.
She is is Bi female and enjoys that dynamic, she wants to share that experience with me, her choice. I enjoy being there for other reason than why people would assume being male and can take it or leave it, it is her interest. But you would have to know us/me which people make judgments and assumptions understand.
So to answer the OPs question having sex with others well FF is outside of our relationship because it is not possible within our relationship for obvious reasons.
You could say for us the grass is not greener on the other side of the hill but on occasion she enjoys walking through the field of flowers/meadow and wants to do so as a couple, even if we walk slightly apart from each other
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"In the past when I've had ffm's with a partner we had the best sex after she'd left, talked until the early hours about the meet, etc but when I've met a couple as a single woman & gone home to my empty bed I always feel a bit low
This is so very true!!!! At the time ive enjoyed it ffm or club meet sex but compared to sex with someone i have more of a connection to there is far less emptyness or questioning. "
Can you get that connection with a couple or can it only come with an individual? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In the past when I've had ffm's with a partner we had the best sex after she'd left, talked until the early hours about the meet, etc but when I've met a couple as a single woman & gone home to my empty bed I always feel a bit low
This is so very true!!!! At the time ive enjoyed it ffm or club meet sex but compared to sex with someone i have more of a connection to there is far less emptyness or questioning.
Can you get that connection with a couple or can it only come with an individual? "
The connection for me is more easily developed with one person. Ive never tried or had the opportunity to do so with a couple. X |
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Just made me think of goi lng to the cinema. I love going with a friend/a nearest and dearest, yet also find it fulfilling going on my own. Except..
It IS nicer to be able to share the emotions of what's happening on the screen in front of you with in the intimacy of someone you know as opposed to with strangers. Plus you can't chew over the finer details of what you've just enjoyed or not with a stranger.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex with random is just rubbing body parts together - fun at the time, sometimes exhilarating because of spontaneity or new experiences.
But ultimately empty.
Shared experiences with someone you care about will always be better - it's a no brainer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It is simply the dynamic and what you expect from it.
I am not interested in meeting or having sex with other women I'm very happy with the one I have.
OH is not interested in having sex with other men - like to think she is happy with the one she has I have no reason to think otherwise either.
Home fires burn brightly as they say, so why go outside of the relationship for something you can get in the relationship.
She is is Bi female and enjoys that dynamic, she wants to share that experience with me, her choice. I enjoy being there for other reason than why people would assume being male and can take it or leave it, it is her interest. But you would have to know us/me which people make judgments and assumptions understand.
So to answer the OPs question having sex with others well FF is outside of our relationship because it is not possible within our relationship for obvious reasons.
You could say for us the grass is not greener on the other side of the hill but on occasion she enjoys walking through the field of flowers/meadow and wants to do so as a couple, even if we walk slightly apart from each other
"
I love that... |
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