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All we know of heaven and all we need of...
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you come up with this stuff lol
In my defence, I’m very, very bored at work  "
Ha ha same here. I normally just make another cup of tea to waste the time away |
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I'll say that I tried, I failed miserably even against my own standards, but hopefully I didn't do everything wrong and I hope that the world was on balance maybe a bit better because I was there than it would have been if I hadn't. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"How do you come up with this stuff lol
In my defence, I’m very, very bored at work
Ha ha same here. I normally just make another cup of tea to waste the time away "
*gallic shrug*
I’ve got 15 mins to my tea break |
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"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go! "
I’m definitely going to hell  |
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I think im going to heaven as ive never done anything like murder someone and all the bad things ive done i think ive done equally amount of good stuff to counteract it. So im going to sit with my big shiney halo.
When i get their i will come back and tell you if i was right or wrong  |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
This poor soul that stands before, has been ripped asunder by heartache and grief.
If I am to be judged on the actions of my self preservation, then let me be cast into the fires of hell.
But if I an to be judged on the goodness and kindness of this heart, then let me rest eternal in the halls of heaven, this soul will finally now peace and joy, reunited with those that went before.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go! "
Contradiction here is extraordinarily reverse.. that in order to gain entry to heaven .. the question states the torments
Firstly in reference to Dante I would enquire whether or not I can climb down the legs of the abyss to perform voluntary cleaning services to the fallen angel who got stuck in the centre of the planets core and obviously when at the centre of the earth would then the climb back up he way I can as the polar graviton all pull creates an inter dimensional illusion
On the way through the 7 spheres
I’d share sheckles with the greedy
Give a Mars bar to the glutinous
A coffee to the sloaths
Wingman the lusty
Hug the proud
Show pictures of my x to the envious
And punch out the wrathful
On the return I’d tell St. Peter that i found his keys under a rock and when he not looking
Come back to beautiful sunny London
|
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"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go!
Contradiction here is extraordinarily reverse.. that in order to gain entry to heaven .. the question states the torments
Firstly in reference to Dante I would enquire whether or not I can climb down the legs of the abyss to perform voluntary cleaning services to the fallen angel who got stuck in the centre of the planets core and obviously when at the centre of the earth would then the climb back up he way I can as the polar graviton all pull creates an inter dimensional illusion
On the way through the 7 spheres
I’d share sheckles with the greedy
Give a Mars bar to the glutinous
A coffee to the sloaths
Wingman the lusty
Hug the proud
Show pictures of my x to the envious
And punch out the wrathful
On the return I’d tell St. Peter that i found his keys under a rock and when he not looking
Come back to beautiful sunny London
"
And give the ferryman on the river Styx an outboard motor. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go!
Contradiction here is extraordinarily reverse.. that in order to gain entry to heaven .. the question states the torments
Firstly in reference to Dante I would enquire whether or not I can climb down the legs of the abyss to perform voluntary cleaning services to the fallen angel who got stuck in the centre of the planets core and obviously when at the centre of the earth would then the climb back up he way I can as the polar graviton all pull creates an inter dimensional illusion
On the way through the 7 spheres
I’d share sheckles with the greedy
Give a Mars bar to the glutinous
A coffee to the sloaths
Wingman the lusty
Hug the proud
Show pictures of my x to the envious
And punch out the wrathful
On the return I’d tell St. Peter that i found his keys under a rock and when he not looking
Come back to beautiful sunny London
"
Don’t try to get smart |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I'd say "no evidence that would prove there is a God was ever provided"."
And yet you’re standing on a cloud in front of pearly gates. At some point you just have to accept that you were incorrect and answer the OP  |
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"I'll say that I tried, I failed miserably even against my own standards, but hopefully I didn't do everything wrong and I hope that the world was on balance maybe a bit better because I was there than it would have been if I hadn't."
Poly chromatic: You’re going to hell just for that back wax you gave me!!! There’s no saving you now!!! |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go! "
“I have given pleasure to the world because I have such a beautiful ass.“ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go!
Contradiction here is extraordinarily reverse.. that in order to gain entry to heaven .. the question states the torments
Firstly in reference to Dante I would enquire whether or not I can climb down the legs of the abyss to perform voluntary cleaning services to the fallen angel who got stuck in the centre of the planets core and obviously when at the centre of the earth would then the climb back up he way I can as the polar graviton all pull creates an inter dimensional illusion
On the way through the 7 spheres
I’d share sheckles with the greedy
Give a Mars bar to the glutinous
A coffee to the sloaths
Wingman the lusty
Hug the proud
Show pictures of my x to the envious
And punch out the wrathful
On the return I’d tell St. Peter that i found his keys under a rock and when he not looking
Come back to beautiful sunny London
Don’t try to get smart"
Okay
Sorry St. Peter I’m an absolute wrongun
I didn’t mean to offend god
But I believe god is in the heart of everyone everything and in our decisions.. regardless of good or evil there has to be a balance for both to exist
Do u personally sir enjoy judging the meek and mild and sinners and wow u must have a pile of paperwork to go through .. I could help if you like .. not sure if heaven he’ll or purgatory suit my hunting instincts .. I’d be happy to do the admin for you and sleep when I’m tired
Through study of religion I believe .. through study of psychology I hold agnosticism.
But certainly agree that God in whatever form is omnipotent omnipresent and omg u dropped your keys ...
Running very quickly .. to the nearest church for confession
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Picture the scene;
Sadly you die in a freak accident doing whatever you’re doing now, you proceed into the bright light only to discover that contrary to atheism, there is a heaven, hell and purgatory.
You’re given one chance to argue your case for entry to the pearly gates and to explain away what you did worthy for an eternity of torment on the seven levels of Dante’s pit.
Away you go!
Contradiction here is extraordinarily reverse.. that in order to gain entry to heaven .. the question states the torments
Firstly in reference to Dante I would enquire whether or not I can climb down the legs of the abyss to perform voluntary cleaning services to the fallen angel who got stuck in the centre of the planets core and obviously when at the centre of the earth would then the climb back up he way I can as the polar graviton all pull creates an inter dimensional illusion
On the way through the 7 spheres
I’d share sheckles with the greedy
Give a Mars bar to the glutinous
A coffee to the sloaths
Wingman the lusty
Hug the proud
Show pictures of my x to the envious
And punch out the wrathful
On the return I’d tell St. Peter that i found his keys under a rock and when he not looking
Come back to beautiful sunny London
Don’t try to get smart
Okay
Sorry St. Peter I’m an absolute wrongun
I didn’t mean to offend god
But I believe god is in the heart of everyone everything and in our decisions.. regardless of good or evil there has to be a balance for both to exist
Do u personally sir enjoy judging the meek and mild and sinners and wow u must have a pile of paperwork to go through .. I could help if you like .. not sure if heaven he’ll or purgatory suit my hunting instincts .. I’d be happy to do the admin for you and sleep when I’m tired
Through study of religion I believe .. through study of psychology I hold agnosticism.
But certainly agree that God in whatever form is omnipotent omnipresent and omg u dropped your keys ...
Running very quickly .. to the nearest church for confession
"
|
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"Is it warm in hell???
"
According to Dante, no. It's freezing cold. Also there are nine circles, not seven.
I would ask why I would want to be in heaven. Since it's full of devout but despicable people and run by an irrational god! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it warm in hell???
According to Dante, no. It's freezing cold. Also there are nine circles, not seven.
I would ask why I would want to be in heaven. Since it's full of devout but despicable people and run by an irrational god!"
Historically Dante lost his love and journeyed into a depth of endless pain inside himself to have her back
Regardless of religion creed politics history and every other factor
It is a tragic and beautiful tail and a subconscious battle that all of us face in every day life
Much respect to this thread and trust I’m not offending anyone with my eccentricity
(Also heavens what you make it) |
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"If Lucifer looks like Tom Ellis I'm not sure I'd try. "
What is it with you ladies and Tom Ellis? My wife's the same. He's on Miranda and my wife never gave him a 2nd look. Stick him a suit and having strutting about saying detective and she just loses it. |
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I'd would simply say.
"God you know everything about me,every thought and all I have done.
If you didn't think me worthy of entry I wouldn't even be here, I am not going to apologise for my mistakes,I'm human and as you made humans to be imperfect my mistakes are also your mistakes,so you can either let me in or not it's your choice" |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I'd would simply say.
"God you know everything about me,every thought and all I have done.
If you didn't think me worthy of entry I wouldn't even be here, I am not going to apologise for my mistakes,I'm human and as you made humans to be imperfect my mistakes are also your mistakes,so you can either let me in or not it's your choice""
Ultimatums always work well with gods |
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"I'll say that I tried, I failed miserably even against my own standards, but hopefully I didn't do everything wrong and I hope that the world was on balance maybe a bit better because I was there than it would have been if I hadn't.
Poly chromatic: You’re going to hell just for that back wax you gave me!!! There’s no saving you now!!!"
Have the scars faded yet? |
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