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Occupational hazards

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

If you date a crane driver you might get let down!

Your turn

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By *ersey GirlCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

If you date a tyre fitter you're getting pumped

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By *ullie-kingMan over a year ago

newmains

"If you date a tyre fitter you're getting pumped

Think that may only sound funny in scottish

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By *ools and the brainCouple over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

If you date a serial killer

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Date an electrician there’s sure to be a spark!

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By *ullie-kingMan over a year ago

newmains

A landscaper ... ye will end up getting whacked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't date a bee keeper you might get stung.

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By *ersey GirlCouple over a year ago

Glasgow

"If you date a tyre fitter you're getting pumped

Think that may only sound funny in scottish

Everything is funnier in scottish

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By *eliWoman over a year ago

If you date a washerwoman, she'll probably hang you out to dry.

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If you date a banker you will get more interest.

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By *ullie-kingMan over a year ago

newmains

"If you date a tyre fitter you're getting pumped

Think that may only sound funny in scottish

Everything is funnier in scottish

Yer no kidding...

Unless you're called Carl or Carole ... both the same sound

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By *ubal1Man over a year ago

Newry Down

If you date a rancher,

he might like you to become a cow girl.

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you date a rich plumber you might get a golden shower

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

If you date an innumerate ice cream man you might get a 69

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

If you date a bricky you might get layed

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you get with a rat killer u will get a master baiter

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

If you date a kebab shop owner you might get skewered

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If u date an undertaker your guaranteed a few stiff ones

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By *ex HolesMan over a year ago

Up North

If you date me you might get spunk in yer eye

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By *arker secrets 321Man over a year ago

West Bromwich

If u date a scaffolder are u getting an erection x

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If u date a fairy you will get a magic wand

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If u date a man from the KitKat factory your either getting two fingers or 4 if your lucky

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you date a trawler skipper your getting fishy fingers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a cleaner you might get your knob polished!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a carpet layer you may get layed

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

"If you date a cleaner you might get your knob polished!"

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

If you date a greengrocer she might fondle your plums and let you feel her melons

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By *parkle1974Woman over a year ago

Leeds

If you date a nurse she may raise more than your temperature

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a fire woman she might be a squirter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a helicopter pilot, be careful of his chopper

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you date a fire woman she might be a squirter"

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Date an electrician there’s sure to be a spark! "

Avoid the shockers at all costs.

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By *iamondCougarWoman over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire

Drink with a builder you might get plastered

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If you date somebody from Cadbury's they might give you a chocolate finger.

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By *ocksareoffMan over a year ago

Out n About

If you date your wife's sister you'll get divorced.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a cleaner you might get your knob polished!"

I am one. Want your knockers polished?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a fireman, he'll make you polish his helmet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a sailor you might get some seamen

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If you agree to a blind date with a wine-maker, he might lose his bottle.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Date a pianist, if you want to strike a chord

Date a magician, if you need some magic in your life

Date a philosopher and you'll always have something to think about.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If you date a lady from a clothing store, you might get a big kiss in the trouser department.

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By *erDirtyRockstarMan over a year ago

buckinghamshire

Date a high risk investor. Just for the crazy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

date a baker if you want some crumpet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you date somebody from Cadbury's they might give you a chocolate finger. "

Especially if he's a fudge packer.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If you go on a date with a lady football coach, she might pull you off before the end.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is my most favourite thread ever.

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By *ubal1Man over a year ago

Newry Down

If you date a snooker player, you might get a surprise; he might not know whether to go for the pink or the brown.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a lady from a clothing store, you might get a big kiss in the trouser department. "

Or a belt, if things go pear shaped.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Always date a baker, they usually have plenty of dough

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Date a high risk investor. Just for the crazy

That's Bull!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan over a year ago

Sussex

Town Planners do it with their eyes shut.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a carpet fitter, you'll probably get your underfelt.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a carpet fitter, you'll probably get your underfelt. "

Or carried on the shoulder, rolled on the floor, laid well and proper, then sadly walked all over.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If you date a mechanic, you might get your undercarriage seen to.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date somebody from Cadbury's they might give you a chocolate finger.

Especially if he's a fudge packer. "

That Willy's a right Wonka!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you date a cleaner you might get your knob polished!

I am one. Want your knockers polished?"

So am I want your knob polished?

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By *torm in a G cupWoman over a year ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

Date a butcher you may get the chop, or your fill of sausages

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a mechanic, you might get your undercarriage seen to. "

and your body work closely gone over.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

If you date a furniture-maker, expect to have your drawers examined.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a jockey and get taken for a a ride!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Date a butcher you may get the chop, or your fill of sausages

He'd definitely fillet for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you date a carpet fitter, you'll probably get your underfelt.

Or carried on the shoulder, rolled on the floor, laid well and proper, then sadly walked all over."

You'd definitely be well stretched.

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

Date a pilot and he may adjust your flaps

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

"Date a pilot and he may adjust your flaps "

And check your under carriage before taking off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a woodcutter, he'll probably have wood.

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

"If you date a woodcutter, he'll probably have wood. "

He might let you hold his chopper too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Date a pilot and he may adjust your flaps "

Date a pilot, SHE may inspect your undercarriage!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you date a woodcutter, he'll probably have wood.

He might let you hold his chopper too"

Yes! Hopefully he would have a big tool.

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

Date a photographer if you like a flash

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By *0FLHMan over a year ago

Devon

If you date a hgv mechanic he'll grease you're nipples.

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By *0FLHMan over a year ago

Devon

The same mechanic would slide his piston into your cylinder.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man over a year ago

BRIDPORT

If you date a moonshiners daughter she’ll make you liquor all night long.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a mechanic, they'll tighten your nuts

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By *ich_ChesterMan over a year ago

Chester

If you date a stationary worker she may put some lead in your pencil

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a plumber because he knows what to do with a flange

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By *il n FloCouple over a year ago

Fabville

If you date an astronaut , they will take you out of this world and make you see stars

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An antivenom collector will drain your snake

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By *ich_ChesterMan over a year ago

Chester

"Date a plumber because he knows what to do with a flange"

Love it

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Date a pilot and he may adjust your flaps

And check your under carriage before taking off. "

And spends 10,000 hours in your cockpit.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a woodcutter, he'll probably have wood.

He might let you hold his chopper too"

He'll be a great feller.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date an astronaut , they will take you out of this world and make you see stars"

You might even be shown a moonie.

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By *Vine OP Man over a year ago

The right place

Date a wildlife photographer and she might show you her tit pictures

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a moonshiners daughter she’ll make you liquor all night long. "

She loves Jim's beam.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never date a radiographer, they'll see right through you

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a hgv mechanic he'll grease you're nipples."

He's the Guy for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date an artist - you’ll need some lead in your pencil

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Never date a radiographer, they'll see right through you"

Don't be so negative

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a furniture-maker, expect to have your drawers examined. "

and legs caressed as well.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you get lucky with a golfer, don't trust their condoms.

Occasionally they'll get a hole in one

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a helicopter pilot, be careful of his chopper"

Keep your eyes out for the skids too.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you get lucky with a golfer, don't trust their condoms.

Occasionally they'll get a hole in one"

and get you in the club.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never date a radiographer, they'll see right through you

Don't be so negative

I see what you did there

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By *aimtoplease69Woman over a year ago

Kent

If you date a dentist you'll get a good drilling, or if you date the nurse you'll be sure of good suction

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a vet and bring out the animal in you!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a dentist you'll get a good drilling, or if you date the nurse you'll be sure of good suction

This

"Cavity Search" by Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to the Muzak

Hearin' people scream

Sittin' in the waiting room

Readin' crappy magazines

With a toothache

This is it, pal

Root Canal

My molars are impacted

I'm gettin' gum disease

I'm gonna need some fillings

Got twelve cavities

Can you help me

Have mercy

Doctor, please

My teeth are a fright

Got a huge overbite

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

You jab at my nerve endings

It's driving me insane

Just give me nitrous oxide

Shoot me up with novocaine

Help me out here

'Cause I'm so severe

Pain

Please stop for a bit

Let me rinse and spit

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

You validate my parking

I think that I'm okay

But you make one more appointment for

A week from Saturday

'Cause you came upon

A problem on

My x-ray

Oy vey!

I'm getting absurd

Well, I hope I'm insured, now

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you dated a horror novelist would he put the willies up you?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Your milkshake will bring all the boys to the yard, if you date the man from Dairy Crest

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Your milkshake will bring all the boys to the yard, if you date the man from Dairy Crest

He'll also make you cream

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By *aimtoplease69Woman over a year ago

Kent

"If you date a dentist you'll get a good drilling, or if you date the nurse you'll be sure of good suction

This

"Cavity Search" by Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to the Muzak

Hearin' people scream

Sittin' in the waiting room

Readin' crappy magazines

With a toothache

This is it, pal

Root Canal

My molars are impacted

I'm gettin' gum disease

I'm gonna need some fillings

Got twelve cavities

Can you help me

Have mercy

Doctor, please

My teeth are a fright

Got a huge overbite

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

You jab at my nerve endings

It's driving me insane

Just give me nitrous oxide

Shoot me up with novocaine

Help me out here

'Cause I'm so severe

Pain

Please stop for a bit

Let me rinse and spit

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

You validate my parking

I think that I'm okay

But you make one more appointment for

A week from Saturday

'Cause you came upon

A problem on

My x-ray

Oy vey!

I'm getting absurd

Well, I hope I'm insured, now

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me"

Excellent

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Date a gardener and he might let you get your hands on his dibber.

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If u date a pig farmer u might get porked

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By *estman for the jobMan over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If u date a turkey farmer your guaranteed a gobble

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If you date a crane driver you might get let down!

Your turn "

I am/was a crane driver and I just ended up chopping my fingers off!

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a dentist you'll get a good drilling, or if you date the nurse you'll be sure of good suction

This

"Cavity Search" by Weird Al Yankovic

Listen to the Muzak

Hearin' people scream

Sittin' in the waiting room

Readin' crappy magazines

With a toothache

This is it, pal

Root Canal

My molars are impacted

I'm gettin' gum disease

I'm gonna need some fillings

Got twelve cavities

Can you help me

Have mercy

Doctor, please

My teeth are a fright

Got a huge overbite

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

You jab at my nerve endings

It's driving me insane

Just give me nitrous oxide

Shoot me up with novocaine

Help me out here

'Cause I'm so severe

Pain

Please stop for a bit

Let me rinse and spit

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

You validate my parking

I think that I'm okay

But you make one more appointment for

A week from Saturday

'Cause you came upon

A problem on

My x-ray

Oy vey!

I'm getting absurd

Well, I hope I'm insured, now

Numb me, drill me

Floss me, bill me

Excellent

And that's the whole tooth!

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By *eyond PurityCouple over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you date a tipper truck driver, he may give you a big load

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

If you date a Jenga manufacturer, he'll block you one day.

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By *psidedown PineapplesCouple over a year ago

Sussex

Date a farmer you might get ploughed

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By *psidedown PineapplesCouple over a year ago

Sussex

Or date a washerwoman and you might get pegged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Date a farmer you might get ploughed "

Or drilled, rolled in the hay, wild oats sowed, I could go on!

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By *psidedown PineapplesCouple over a year ago

Sussex

Date a carpenter and receive his wood

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Date a farmer you might get ploughed

Or drilled, rolled in the hay, wild oats sowed, I could go on!

Date a delicatessen worker and get the cold shoulder.

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Date a baker, might not be able to rise to the occasion

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Date a lifeguard and he might have dip and get you all wet.

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Date a candle-maker and he'll want to show you how he dips his wick.

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"A landscaper ... ye will end up getting whacked "

Or Pete up your bum

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By *inky_couple2020Couple over a year ago

North West

Date someone off Most Haunted and you may end up being ghosted

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By *tella HeelsTV/TS over a year ago

west here ford shire

You date a machinist you might get turned

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"A landscaper ... ye will end up getting whacked

Or Pete up your bum

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Date a harpist and he'll pull your strings.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a radio operator and get rodgered...

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Date a guitarist and get fingered: don't fret about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a writer, live a dream..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a fishmonger you might get fishy fingers

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"If you date a fishmonger you might get fishy fingers"

date a cheesemonger and you might get too much rubing

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Date an abattoir and get put down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a plumber, your pipes might need servicing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date a drain cleaner he'll give you a good rodding

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By *ean counterMan over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

My ex girlfriend worked in a fish and chip shop, I was always worried that she'd batter me

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By *ogueAngelMan over a year ago

Near Bath / Bristol

If you date a drummer, he'll probably bang you too.

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"My ex girlfriend worked in a fish and chip shop, I was always worried that she'd batter me"

you poor sausage

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

Date a pianist and he'll tickle his ivories, then your ovaries.

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By *ean counterMan over a year ago

Market Harborough / Kettering

"My ex girlfriend worked in a fish and chip shop, I was always worried that she'd batter me

you poor sausage"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you date an angler he'll show you his tackle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Date a KFC emoloyee, she'll let you chuck your bone in her greasy box

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By *usman 199Man over a year ago

Stockport

Date a bus driver always stopping

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By *orny PTMan over a year ago

Peterborough

"Date a bus driver always stopping"

Date a dentist and lay back and get jawache

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