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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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1) Your car is stopped at traffic lights. What would you do?
a. Apply the handbrake and sit patiently until they change.
b. Rev the engine until it throbs, and gently caress the gear knob.
c. Open your shirt/blouse and smear bright red lipstick on your nipple, adjusting the mirror in order to admire your work and honking the horn so people can see your handywork.
2) On your regular visit to the hairdressers, do you:
a. Ask for your normal cut.
b. Ask for a more fashionable cut in the style of your favourite sexy pop/movie star.
c. Ask for your entire body to be shaved, and styling mousse to be rubbed into your parts.
3) Imagine a donkey then choose what immediately springs to mind.
a. A day on the beach at Blackpool with the family.
b. Bobbing up and down rhythmically in the saddle of a horse.
c. A rampant three-in-a-bed sex session with you, your partner and a donkey.
4) You see a shoplifter getting away with their ill gotten goods. Do you:
a. Ignore it and carry on with your shopping.
b. Take a description and report it to the guard because you like a man/woman in uniform.
c. Admit to the crime yourself so you can be roughly handcuffed, taken to a small cell where people in uniform will pump you for information, strip search and frisk you and maybe even use that truncheon on you if your lucky!
5) While waiting for Directory Enquires to answer the phone, how would you occupy your free hand?
a. Bend a couple of paper clips until they snap.
b. Doodle on a notepad, perhaps drawing the curves of a naked human figure.
c. Lower your trousers/raise your skirt, press the mouthpiece to your parts, and smack your bottom firmly with the yellow pages.
6) Shopping for meat at the butchers, what would you choose?
a. Half a pound of mince.
b. A large pork sausage and two scotch eggs.
c. A small, plucked chicken and a jar of Vaseline.
7) You notice your car is dirty, what would you do?
a. Nothing, except hope it rains later.
b. Wash the car down yourself, then gently massage it’s curving bodywork with a soft chamois leather.
c. Drive to the local carwash, strip naked and climb astride the bonnet with your partner for a super soapy sex session beneath the frothy rollers.
8) You are having breakfast in the kitchen when the romantic song ’Lady in red’ by Chris Be Burgh comes on the radio. How would you react?
a. Tap your foot, and perhaps whistle along.
b. Close your eyes, sway sensuously around the room and imagine that you are dancing cheek to cheek with someone gorgeous.
c. Strip naked, douse your entire body in butter and marmalade, stick a hot croissant up your arse and hit your parts with a stick of French bread until you cum.
How did you do????
Award yourself 1 point for each answer a, 2 points for b and 3 points for c. Then tot up your total.
10 or less: You are sexually inhibited. You are ashamed of your body and think of sex as being ‘wrong’ and something you shouldn’t do. You are a dull, unimaginative prude!
11 to 19: You have a reasonably healthy attitude towards sex, but you are not a saucy person. You’ll be better off playing it safe, having straight sex whenever possible. Avoid the use of whips, chains and rubber appliances.
20 or more: You kinky devil! You show a healthy, refreshingly open attitude towards sex. You like to experiment in bed, trying new positions, wear exciting costumes and put household items up your bottom. Please do get in contact lol. |
