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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Branching off from another thread where most of the answers to a what do you prefer question (between face and body) results quite a few answers being personality.
I do not disagree with this and, for me, personality adds or decreases attractiveness of a person. But there is a conundrum here - how do you know what a person's personality is until you've spoken to someone?
What would be your initial attraction to someone before you knew what they were like? (Although as I was typing this I did think, for me, it would be style of dress which is something I've always looked at first before anything else). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Attraction and being attractive are two different things for me.
You can see if you find someone attractive from that initial first impression but being truely attracted to someone only happens when you discover who they are  |
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I was asking myself this too, how can people gauge someone's personality through words on a screen as these can be misinterpreted so many times.
My answer is the same as in the other thread, face first which attracts my attention but their personality would hold it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Attraction and being attractive are two different things for me.
You can see if you find someone attractive from that initial first impression but being truely attracted to someone only happens when you discover who they are "
Isn't that the conundrum?
For example take two men - one you find attractive and the other you don't. But the one you don't find attractive has the personality which would attract you. How would you know that as you may only approach the one you find attractive? |
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"Attraction and being attractive are two different things for me.
You can see if you find someone attractive from that initial first impression but being truely attracted to someone only happens when you discover who they are
Isn't that the conundrum?
For example take two men - one you find attractive and the other you don't. But the one you don't find attractive has the personality which would attract you. How would you know that as you may only approach the one you find attractive?"
Simple fact is, physically attractive will ALWAYS have the advantage because they are given the chance to show their personalities. If you are not viewed as attractive from a visual point your chances of showing that personality to the right person drop considerably.
It is a balance. Attractive but bad personality will have the chances but struggle to keep hold.
Unattractive but top level personality will have less chances to show it off, but when they do they will generally keep interest.
You need both to truely make it work, and both parts are Highley subjective. We are all attracted to different visuals and personalities. So long as you are just attractive enough to get their attention then a favourable personality will do most of the hard work.
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
I think if you are talking to someone over a period of time, and not just about sex, you can guage someone's personality, obviously, in things like the forums its difficult because of the nature of the beast.there are a couple of women that I find both physically attractive and their personality shines through in private messages.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Attraction and being attractive are two different things for me.
You can see if you find someone attractive from that initial first impression but being truely attracted to someone only happens when you discover who they are
Isn't that the conundrum?
For example take two men - one you find attractive and the other you don't. But the one you don't find attractive has the personality which would attract you. How would you know that as you may only approach the one you find attractive?"
In real life looking for a partner, you are more likely to invest in someone for their personality. On here, most of us aren't looking for a relationship. But having a sexual relationship with someone, finding them attractive is a big part of it. In this case, attraction/attractiveness have to align with each other to make having a 'playmate' work. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
On here it's their profile attracts me a good bio which isn't all demands or boasting about their prowess.Good teasing pics also help a lot. And if they are on the forums you get an idea of what they are like also before you chat.
In real life it's just by chatting to people or course looks will come into it but looks won't keep me interested of they have a personality I don't like . |
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We have to like both the personality and what someone looks like. Either being wrong will be a deal-breaker. It's possible to get an idea of either of them first and that can be a gateway to finding out about the other.
If somebody sends us a message or has profile text that makes us think we're not going to get on, then we don't need to see the face. It's just not going to happen. But if we like them then we can see their face and see if we are physically attracted to them or not.
It's just the same if we see what they look like before finding out about them. If we don't like what they look like, it's not a goer. If we do we can find out if we like them socially.
I don't really see it as a puzzle or dilemma. You're always going to one of either face or personality first. You make a decision. You see what's left. You make another decision. That's all there is to it really. |
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Being “hot” opens more doors for you. But you still have to open the door and walk through.
Sadly if your not hot with an amazing personality a lot of people won’t ever get to know that amazing personality.
But if your very hot with a bad personality? Sure lots of people will be willing to get to know you, but very few will stick around |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"Attraction and being attractive are two different things for me.
You can see if you find someone attractive from that initial first impression but being truely attracted to someone only happens when you discover who they are
Isn't that the conundrum?
For example take two men - one you find attractive and the other you don't. But the one you don't find attractive has the personality which would attract you. How would you know that as you may only approach the one you find attractive?
Simple fact is, physically attractive will ALWAYS have the advantage because they are given the chance to show their personalities. If you are not viewed as attractive from a visual point your chances of showing that personality to the right person drop considerably.
It is a balance. Attractive but bad personality will have the chances but struggle to keep hold.
Unattractive but top level personality will have less chances to show it off, but when they do they will generally keep interest.
You need both to truely make it work, and both parts are Highley subjective. We are all attracted to different visuals and personalities. So long as you are just attractive enough to get their attention then a favourable personality will do most of the hard work.
"
I agree with this |
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That's why sifting through here is such a tall order and takes so much time - thankfully we've had plenty of that lately.
Meeting people face to face is a far better way of assessing attraction. You just know.
C |
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