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Why did the banana go to the Dr?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

He wasn't peeling very well.

Insert crap joke below

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do people and washing machines have in common? Their both turned on by knobs.

Thank you and goodnight.

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By *ikesEmBigMan over a year ago

Herts

A man walks into a drumkit....ba-da-boom-cha!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A man walks into a drumkit....ba-da-boom-cha!"
that was good

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What do people and washing machines have in common? Their both turned on by knobs.

Thank you and goodnight."
that was bad

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What's brown and sticky and starts with a P?

A shit.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

I answered knocks at the door and a man was stood there singing "Prince Charming, Prince Charming"

I told him he had the wrong address but he was adamant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whats red and bad for your teeth ?

A housebrick

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By *rAitchMan over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

What word is 14 letters long, starts and ends with an N and means constipation?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 23/05/21 10:24:40]

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

A snail is heading home from work, very late one night and he gets mugged by a turtle.

The policeman asks the snail "can you describe the mugger ?"

The snail says "I honestly don't know, it all happened so fast"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man walks into a drumkit....ba-da-boom-cha!"

You mean “tssst” at the end, surely?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I took my snail to a snail racing night. I wanted him to go faster so removed his shell.

It's didn't work, it just made him sluggish....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

"I took my snail to a snail racing night. I wanted him to go faster so removed his shell.

It's didn't work, it just made him sluggish...."

The trick is to paint the letter "S" on the shell, makes them twice as fast and you can hear the commentators saying "Wow look at that escargot"

Sorry I'll get my coat

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!!!

What's red and sticky?

A bonfire !!

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