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Dom or sub
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You (not you personally) don’t have to have labels, even though lots of people like them. | |||
"I've had someone ask me if I was a dom,I said no. He said,so you're a sub,I said no. So he said,so you're not keen,I said no. Why do you have to be one or the other. It's obvious that I'm sensual which is the total and equal enjoyment of both people. But how do you describe it easily. It's not dom,it's not sub,it's ?" Just you I don't do labels either sub dom xx | |||
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"That convo sounds riveting R" Oh it was lol | |||
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"Im a sub but im a bratty sub who although submits to her Sir doesn't always find it easy to do so and by gawd I can make it hard for him ."  | |||
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"What’s wrong with mutual fulfilment ? " This x | |||
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"What’s wrong with mutual fulfilment ? This x" But “that” is ok? | |||
"That convo sounds riveting R" 
I laughed far too hard at that 
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"What’s wrong with mutual fulfilment ? This x" Nothing at all. But a Dom/sun dynamic is also about mutual fulfilment. Just different things fulfil each. And the label thing. Yes no one wants to be labelled but tbf it does short circuit communications sometimes. | |||
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"Labels are important as a guide but they don't intrinsically define people, unless they are football fans. Also different types are needed to avoid the lesbian sheep situation, labels and types let people connect. As an example if I want steak without being able to ask for steak I may end up with fish, which is fine but not what I want. More aptly (back in the day) if I am doing pick up play at an event then I as a top want a bottom that is up for play. Third it also ignores that some people define as a sub and some as dom and could not and would not want to fulfill the other role. I do feel there is a problem of people talking about the scene who focus on their own little bit without seeing the whole breadth of the scene. Without labels we would not know the rigger from the bunny: the sadist from the masochist, the bottom from the top. At the end of the day do your kink your way but a penny gets you a pound it is not the only way." What lesbian sheep situation? | |||
"Labels are important as a guide but they don't intrinsically define people, unless they are football fans. Also different types are needed to avoid the lesbian sheep situation, labels and types let people connect. As an example if I want steak without being able to ask for steak I may end up with fish, which is fine but not what I want. More aptly (back in the day) if I am doing pick up play at an event then I as a top want a bottom that is up for play. Third it also ignores that some people define as a sub and some as dom and could not and would not want to fulfill the other role. I do feel there is a problem of people talking about the scene who focus on their own little bit without seeing the whole breadth of the scene. Without labels we would not know the rigger from the bunny: the sadist from the masochist, the bottom from the top. At the end of the day do your kink your way but a penny gets you a pound it is not the only way." This is a much more nuanced reply and better than mine. | |||
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you don't have to conform to a label babycakes, just go with the flow  Px | |||
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"What’s wrong with mutual fulfilment ? " A D/s dynamic should be mutually fulfilling as its just a relationship with added bits. As for the OP, there is no label you can use other than to say D/s not your cup of tea. | |||
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"I normally agree with what you say but I would add a refinement to your comment. Where couples roleplay then it is a relationship with the extra bits. But for people to whom BDSM and D/S is intrinsic to their nature, it would be like saying gay relationshbits are relationships with an extra bit. Being gay is an essential part of the relationship. For some of us the D/S part is an equal part to the relationship part." I really wanna edit this to be D/s ... is that pedantic ? However ... I agree..... with lots of the above and many posters You be you ... others will be them. I could never be Domme ... icks me out. Me being in control .... NOOOOOO... I'm submissive. I don't like being in control thank you!! | |||
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