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Have sex first
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This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually . |
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Have you ever had a memory ruined and you feel physically sick, wanting to wash your insides and brain with bleach because you've learned something about someone that meant you'd have let them nowhere near you if you were armed with that knowledge beforehand? Where you are so disgusted, you feel violated? But... you realise that you put yourself in that position because you didn't ask the right questions.
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I prefer to get to know someone first before having sex. Even if that's just 45 minutes chat in a club.
Just because we fancy each other doesn't mean we're compatible. A bit of a rapport and some discussion of likes/dislikes goes a long way. |
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"Have you ever had a memory ruined and you feel physically sick, wanting to wash your insides and brain with bleach because you've learned something about someone that meant you'd have let them nowhere near you if you were armed with that knowledge beforehand? Where you are so disgusted, you feel violated? But... you realise that you put yourself in that position because you didn't ask the right questions.
"
Before I was fully baked ....... yes. Since being fully baked....... once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would you want to get to know somebody AFTER sex, if your just wanting a one time thing? Makes no sense to me lol. Hope you find what you’re looking for x |
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"I prefer to get to know someone first before having sex. Even if that's just 45 minutes chat in a club.
Just because we fancy each other doesn't mean we're compatible. A bit of a rapport and some discussion of likes/dislikes goes a long way."
Yup. Even a phone chat and a half hour coffee can be enough.
One bad vibe and it's a no go.
I'd prefer not to be a news statistic that everyone screams about and then forgets in the next few days. |
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In a club yes I agree have a drink and a chat all I need to see on the few first messages that they are polite use the English language properly and not chavs i like to speak on the phone about a meet they can withold their number |
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"In a club yes I agree have a drink and a chat all I need to see on the few first messages that they are polite use the English language properly and not chavs i like to speak on the phone about a meet they can withold their number "
Oops...... you just lost me at chav..
Verily Sir, I beseech thee to recognise that the chavs amongst us are human also and that many of the fillies have the finest of fannies. Let us not label the meat in the market.......  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually . "
Somewhat arrogant to assume that'll it be great sex straight away, might be for you but the others? Probably the reason for chatting first - builds connection, increases sexual tension/desire or nothing progresses as there's no connection so the sex would probably be less than awesome. |
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"Of course a few polite messages but not each other’s life story you can’t find that out if you wish on the meet "
My name is Granny. I was born into a poor but noble family on a cold January morning in the City of Birmingham. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In a club yes I agree have a drink and a chat all I need to see on the few first messages that they are polite use the English language properly and not chavs i like to speak on the phone about a meet they can withold their number "
Do you mean RP? |
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"Of course a few polite messages but not each other’s life story you can’t find that out if you wish on the meet "
Fuck that, I like to ask random questions about stuff, for example I'll reference something that happened before they were supposedly born and see what they say about it. Amazing how many people that are the "same age" as me remember Elvis dying.
"Got ya ya fucking liar" says my brain. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"In a club yes I agree have a drink and a chat all I need to see on the few first messages that they are polite use the English language properly and not chavs i like to speak on the phone about a meet they can withold their number
Oops...... you just lost me at chav..
Verily Sir, I beseech thee to recognise that the chavs amongst us are human also and that many of the fillies have the finest of fannies. Let us not label the meat in the market....... "
Yea, and the chavs doth have the most bangingest car stereos on which to appreciate Mozart, Mendelssohn and Motorhead. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"Okay you are physically attracted to each other through fab you exchange a few pleasantrys meet up and should you wish to get to now each before sex then fine if not get down to it straight away "
Again, cool - if that's what both parties are up for, go for it!
Plenty of people have had one night stands after a night at a club, why not from here.  |
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"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually . Fair enough I said great to be positive about it
Somewhat arrogant to assume that'll it be great sex straight away, might be for you but the others? Probably the reason for chatting first - builds connection, increases sexual tension/desire or nothing progresses as there's no connection so the sex would probably be less than awesome."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Okay you are physically attracted to each other through fab you exchange a few pleasantrys meet up and should you wish to get to now each before sex then fine if not get down to it straight away "
Has that method always worked out well for you OP? |
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"It may be coincidence but every meet I have had there was no endless messaging let’s get to know each other we met and chatted in person before or after sex "
Were those meets with men by any chance? |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"It may be coincidence but every meet I have had there was no endless messaging let’s get to know each other we met and chatted in person before or after sex "
Sounds like you're doing alright then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It may be coincidence but every meet I have had there was no endless messaging let’s get to know each other we met and chatted in person before or after sex
Were those meets with men by any chance? "
I was going to ask the same... |
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"It may be coincidence but every meet I have had there was no endless messaging let’s get to know each other we met and chatted in person before or after sex
Were those meets with men by any chance? "
why do you say that no with women and couples straight or bi |
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"It may be coincidence but every meet I have had there was no endless messaging let’s get to know each other we met and chatted in person before or after sex
Were those meets with men by any chance? why do you say that no with women and couples straight or bi "
Because in general the few pleasantries then down to it types that I have encountered over my 5 years here have been either men/ had a fair bit to drink and feeling frisky and entertain those they wouldn't whilst sober/ had a fair bit of the other and entertain those they wouldn't whilst not otherwise intoxicated by whatever means.
Again, not all, just in general, in the area I reside. |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them "
Some people have other ways of viewing the world. We're certainly one such example.
Wanting to actually like the people you do the most intimate things with... crazy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them "
But why?! I dont want to slander you as a person but you sound like a selfish lover. You fancy that body, you fuck and enjoy that body and you walk away happy. Of course that is one definition of no strings attached sex, but it doesnt seem very humanising. No disrespect meant OP |
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"A good idea would be to send 4 messages each if you both like each other then arrange a meet "
If that works for you then crack on, it wouldn't work for me and many others.
Less than that will work for some.
Whatever everyone in the scenario is comfortable with. |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
But why?! I dont want to slander you as a person but you sound like a selfish lover. You fancy that body, you fuck and enjoy that body and you walk away happy. Of course that is one definition of no strings attached sex, but it doesnt seem very humanising. No disrespect meant OP"
no not at all when I meet people I love to have a chat get to now each other a bit should they wish rather than have to do it with endless messaging |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them "
But you say elsewhere that you want a mental connection. How can you achieve that with 4 messages? |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
Some people have other ways of viewing the world. We're certainly one such example.
Wanting to actually like the people you do the most intimate things with... crazy!"
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
Some people have other ways of viewing the world. We're certainly one such example.
Wanting to actually like the people you do the most intimate things with... crazy!"
i agree like the people but find out in person rather than endless messaging that can go on for weeks the reason you messaged someone in the first place was physical attraction so act on it straight away |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
But why?! I dont want to slander you as a person but you sound like a selfish lover. You fancy that body, you fuck and enjoy that body and you walk away happy. Of course that is one definition of no strings attached sex, but it doesnt seem very humanising. No disrespect meant OPno not at all when I meet people I love to have a chat get to now each other a bit should they wish rather than have to do it with endless messaging "
Tell you what, whilst your modus operandi doesn't seem like ours at all, we do know that a million messages usually ends in nothing. Enthusiasm dies out, inspiration for what else to say does as well.
We soon started suggesting in person socials fairly quickly if it seemed we'd get on. Not to play at all, but to just see if we actually got on, rather than 2nd guessing through written down words.
So I guess we empathise to some extent, but would always want to know we were all going to play, willingly and enthusiastically, in advance of any meet where it'd happen. |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
But you say elsewhere that you want a mental connection. How can you achieve that with 4 messages? "
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"A good idea would be to send 4 messages each if you both like each other then arrange a meet "
That may be "your" good idea, and if it's someone else's then great you potentially have a match.
For me though I very much like to go with the flow, spend time building a connection and chemistry and the notion of meeting to occur naturally and organically over the course of those messages - it heightens the interest and anticipation and provides a level of comfort for all concerned around trust, respect and more.
If your way works for you, then great, just the same as my way working for me is.
What you can't do though is *expect* others to match your way, so when they don't you have the choice to either compromise and accept theirs, or decide you're not well matched and move on. |
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
Some people have other ways of viewing the world. We're certainly one such example.
Wanting to actually like the people you do the most intimate things with... crazy!i agree like the people but find out in person rather than endless messaging that can go on for weeks the reason you messaged someone in the first place was physical attraction so act on it straight away "
It's far from a possibility for an awful lot of people. Work, kids, travel etc. Not to mention not actually being horny at the same time  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
That's exactly what I did when I first started. Only one of those people is still in my life.
I stopped meeting that way after a few very bad meets. One left me scared. One left me scarred (only emotionally). One left me less willing to trust listed age and photo.
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I agree get to know each other through a meet should you wish rather than endless messaging before hand if you fancy someone meet them if you don’t like them as a person don’t have sex that is your choice |
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"That's exactly what I did when I first started. Only one of those people is still in my life.
I stopped meeting that way after a few very bad meets. One left me scared. One left me scarred (only emotionally). One left me less willing to trust listed age and photo.
"
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I have had meets where we just said a few words had sex and I left straight away if the sex is good that is great we may meet again , I do not need to know a lot about a person straight away that can happen naturally should we meet more |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Because the sex might be shit and the person might be a complete dick head/racist/bigot/maniac etc etc.
If I just wanted a cock I would say yes to all the pretty, hot men, and tell them to keep quiet.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I have had meets where we just said a few words had sex and I left straight away if the sex is good that is great we may meet again , I do not need to know a lot about a person straight away that can happen naturally should we meet more "
That's great for you, but rarely works for me.
I would only take that chance with a really hot dude. |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually . "
Hang on a sec.
The people who are into that won't constantly message each other anyway.
Have I missed the point in the OP?
What I believe has been said is that people who do (x) don't do (y) so why would they (z) when they don't do (z) anyway?
I need a lie down. |
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"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually .
Hang on a sec.
The people who are into that won't constantly message each other anyway.
Have I missed the point in the OP?
What I believe has been said is that people who do (x) don't do (y) so why would they (z) when they don't do (z) anyway?
I need a lie down."
May one enquire as to whether you will take rest at the Dorchester or Travelodge ? |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually .
Hang on a sec.
The people who are into that won't constantly message each other anyway.
Have I missed the point in the OP?
What I believe has been said is that people who do (x) don't do (y) so why would they (z) when they don't do (z) anyway?
I need a lie down.
May one enquire as to whether you will take rest at the Dorchester or Travelodge ?"
One shall take the next carriage to Pemberley. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I don’t like a persons personality when I meet them unless they say something that really offends me or they are d*unk I will still want to have sex with them
Some people have other ways of viewing the world. We're certainly one such example.
Wanting to actually like the people you do the most intimate things with... crazy!"
Snap! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually . "
Getting to know each other first, flirting, adding to the build up and sexual tension is amazing and shouldn’t be bypassed. Yes there are some people who you are drawn to automatically but wft happened to foreplay? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is suspect may be controversial if people like each other on this site physically why the need for constant messaging why not meet up first have great sex then after get to now each other if you don’t like each other at least you had a good time sexually .
Getting to know each other first, flirting, adding to the build up and sexual tension is amazing and shouldn’t be bypassed. Yes there are some people who you are drawn to automatically but wft happened to foreplay? "
See this is what we love about it all, personally makes for a better time!
Her x |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
My experience is that that the sex can be disappointing or fantastic with both the long conversation, build up person and the swap details and have sex first person.
There's potential for a good or bad conversation with both too.
We all have a different risk appetite.
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