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Professional boundaries
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Can a manager also be a friend?
Do you understand when they put the 'needs' of the business before yours?
If your a manger and a friend does this blur the lines between friendship and business needs?
Have you found 'friends' take it personally if a request is denied?
Or... if, as a manager you have to implement unpopular processes, do friends take this personally?
Is it difficult to separate business and friendship?
Can you ever really be true friends with management?
Can management ever truly be friends with colleagues they manage?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First rule of management - you can't be friends with an employee. Even if manger is fair with you others will see anything they don't agree with as favouritism "
I know someone who is married to their manager. It's perfectly fine as long as any conflicts if interest are declared and "managed"  |
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"You can't be an effective manager and a good friend in my opinion. It's really difficult to give a warning or instigate disciplinary proceedings against a friend"
This is what I'm thinking.
It's all good when everything is going well, but when it's not...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tricky one
When I was a manager I could have friendships. When I moved up into actual leadership it became untenable as the buck stopped with me so it was better all round if I was friendly but not friends.... Kept it easier for everyone |
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When I did my apprenticeship, it was only a small team where we all juggled multiple job roles. The MD was a great guy and very easy to get along with, and while others would try to be pals with him, I tried to maintain respect for his position.
I think he appreciated it because where others might try to use their position as friends to push him, I still tried to take him as seriously as possible when it came to work. That's bwhy I don't think it's possible for a manager and employee to be friends. |
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I don’t expect my manager to be a ‘friend’ but I would hope we share mutual trust and respect for one another, enough that open conversation can take place.
She knows she can rely on me and I know she has my back when I need it. So many managers play the. ‘ I’m THE boss’ card and wonder why they don’t get the best out of their employees  |
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"You can't be an effective manager and a good friend in my opinion. It's really difficult to give a warning or instigate disciplinary proceedings against a friend
This is what I'm thinking.
It's all good when everything is going well, but when it's not......"
Yep.
I was promoted internally and people I was very good friends with were suddenly under my supervision. I had to take a woman who I'd previously been close to aside and "discuss her behaviour" with her. It was extremely awkward and effectively ended our friendship. |
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"You can't be an effective manager and a good friend in my opinion. It's really difficult to give a warning or instigate disciplinary proceedings against a friend
This is what I'm thinking.
It's all good when everything is going well, but when it's not......
Yep.
I was promoted internally and people I was very good friends with were suddenly under my supervision. I had to take a woman who I'd previously been close to aside and "discuss her behaviour" with her. It was extremely awkward and effectively ended our friendship."
I wouldn't like to be in either position!
It does make it really difficult! |
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"You can't be an effective manager and a good friend in my opinion. It's really difficult to give a warning or instigate disciplinary proceedings against a friend
This is what I'm thinking.
It's all good when everything is going well, but when it's not......
Yep.
I was promoted internally and people I was very good friends with were suddenly under my supervision. I had to take a woman who I'd previously been close to aside and "discuss her behaviour" with her. It was extremely awkward and effectively ended our friendship.
I wouldn't like to be in either position!
It does make it really difficult!"
It's horrible. My motto is never promote within a department and don't be a manager if you need people to like you. |
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"You can't be an effective manager and a good friend in my opinion. It's really difficult to give a warning or instigate disciplinary proceedings against a friend
This is what I'm thinking.
It's all good when everything is going well, but when it's not......
Yep.
I was promoted internally and people I was very good friends with were suddenly under my supervision. I had to take a woman who I'd previously been close to aside and "discuss her behaviour" with her. It was extremely awkward and effectively ended our friendship.
I wouldn't like to be in either position!
It does make it really difficult!
It's horrible. My motto is never promote within a department and don't be a manager if you need people to like you."
I can see why you think that |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
In my experience - when management have been very friendly with some staff that usually ends up with them giving them special treatment and breading bad feeling with the rest of the team.
As long a manager is far with all staff I couldn't care less who they spend time with outside of it  |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
Of course its doable.
A manager, team leader or supervisor is just an employee with a different set of responsibilities and maybe some accountabilities.
If your “friends” behaviour requires a talking to, would you have let it slide if you were not a manager or would you have still had a word?
What kind of friend puts you into that situation, and then blames you for having to do your job?
I worked my way up from the lowest position to part of the senior management team in the same department. While I have had to discipline friends I have yet to lose any because our relationships are strong enough and they appreciate my brutal honesty. I have even had people I have disciplined put me forward for award schemes at work.
Sadly, many people in management positions are not suited to it, or never get the training or support they need.
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
Absolutely you can.
My bosses gave me and my work colleagues the afternoon off on Monday, invited us to their house for a birthday meal for me, with copious amounts of food and wine. They also gave me a birthday cake that they handmade and presents.
It's all about mutual respect, good communication, trust and honesty. |
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"I tell people at work that save for works do's, I don't want anything to do with them outside of work
I don't confuse colleagues with friends
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I am friends with ex colleagues but used to avoid work do's like the plague. All that organised jollity and seeing your boss in a party hat  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a Manager of a group of younger women I don't have that problem as I have nothing in common with them anyway.
And I am very clear about professional boundaries. I believe that there are less complications through blurred lines by being professional unbiased and objective
Saying that I get on like a house on fire with my boss....She isn't my friend though. She is my boss I am very clear on that |
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"My manager sends me dick pics so I’d class her as a friend "
Not the same but...my driving instructor used to tell me how great she was at deep throating...that she gave great head.
The conversation often turned personal.
I had about 26 lessons, never took a test.
In the end I felt like she should be paying me, for the entertainment value alone.
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"Absolutely you can.
My bosses gave me and my work colleagues the afternoon off on Monday, invited us to their house for a birthday meal for me, with copious amounts of food and wine. They also gave me a birthday cake that they handmade and presents.
It's all about mutual respect, good communication, trust and honesty."
Do you work for a small business?
Where I work this would never happen! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I try to be friendly with my manager but we’re not friends.
I try to be friendly with those I manage but I’m not getting invited to the pub.
It’s a fine line, and I think it’s more to do with people not wanting to appear unprofessional
To their line manager rather than anything else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a manager, and I am friendly with my staff, but I am not their friend. I have a good working relationship with them all, and I am certainly closer to my assistant manager , but again, we aren't 'friends'.
All my staff know they can call on me if they need to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My manager sends me dick pics so I’d class her as a friend
Not the same but...my driving instructor used to tell me how great she was at deep throating...that she gave great head.
The conversation often turned personal.
I had about 26 lessons, never took a test.
In the end I felt like she should be paying me, for the entertainment value alone.
"
Not quite the same but I once had a Manager who'd would say 'Suck it and See' if I had a new idea.  |
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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago
Durham, North Yorkshire and can travel |
"Absolutely you can.
My bosses gave me and my work colleagues the afternoon off on Monday, invited us to their house for a birthday meal for me, with copious amounts of food and wine. They also gave me a birthday cake that they handmade and presents.
It's all about mutual respect, good communication, trust and honesty.
Do you work for a small business?
Where I work this would never happen!"
Yes it's a small business. I couldn't imagine working in a large business. |
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"My manager sends me dick pics so I’d class her as a friend
Not the same but...my driving instructor used to tell me how great she was at deep throating...that she gave great head.
The conversation often turned personal.
I had about 26 lessons, never took a test.
In the end I felt like she should be paying me, for the entertainment value alone.
Not quite the same but I once had a Manager who'd would say 'Suck it and See' if I had a new idea. "
Was it said with a wry smile! |
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"Absolutely you can.
My bosses gave me and my work colleagues the afternoon off on Monday, invited us to their house for a birthday meal for me, with copious amounts of food and wine. They also gave me a birthday cake that they handmade and presents.
It's all about mutual respect, good communication, trust and honesty.
Do you work for a small business?
Where I work this would never happen!
Yes it's a small business. I couldn't imagine working in a large business."
What they did was lovely. You wouldn't get that in a large business, not from my experience  |
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"I'm a manager, and I am friendly with my staff, but I am not their friend. I have a good working relationship with them all, and I am certainly closer to my assistant manager , but again, we aren't 'friends'.
All my staff know they can call on me if they need to. "
I think this is the stance I'd take if I was in that position. |
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