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Am I the Asshole...?
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Not directly myself (although I’m sure that some will jump in) but as some of you might know, there’s a sub-Reddit where people can post their moral quandaries or reactive actions and ask the lovely people of the internet “Am I the asshole?” In that situation.
As I’m bereft of original thoughts, I thought that this might be an interesting thing to drop in the forums.
So if you have a situation where you’re unsure or if you want an outside opinion, post your story and the lovely folks of the forums can pass their judgement...
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Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?"
No. I don’t think you are the asshole.  |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?"
No. I don’t think so although I can see their annoyance.
Using past times of supporting you against you is an asshole move though |
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?"
I would say their been assholes, maybe you have been a bit unfair with the wait but then covid so really they couldn't come |
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?"
Yeah most likely |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though
But I didn’t ask........
You don’t need to ask to be one  "
Gee Tea, bit harsh. |
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"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though
But I didn’t ask........
You don’t need to ask to be one
Gee Tea, bit harsh. "
But fair... |
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?"
Elderly parents sure can get entitled... NTA |
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
Elderly parents sure can get entitled... NTA"
They’re terrible for it unfortunately. I got an ultimatum via txt the day after my birthday at 4am - “invite us over or we’re not coming”.
Dad’s an absolute bully so assume he figured his tactics would wash.
Not sure he thought that message through!
|
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
Elderly parents sure can get entitled... NTA"
Almost as much as entitled bratty kids... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Do we also get to utterly mis interpret the point of the question, and damn anyone to hell that we don't like, even though that's fundamentally good content for AITA? What a shit show that sub is."
You’ve just described half of the forum threads on here... |
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"Do we also get to utterly mis interpret the point of the question, and damn anyone to hell that we don't like, even though that's fundamentally good content for AITA? What a shit show that sub is.
You’ve just described half of the forum threads on here..."
More like 80 percent is my guess. |
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
Elderly parents sure can get entitled... NTA
They’re terrible for it unfortunately. I got an ultimatum via txt the day after my birthday at 4am - “invite us over or we’re not coming”.
Dad’s an absolute bully so assume he figured his tactics would wash.
Not sure he thought that message through!
"
We've been having some "fun" with my mother in law recently... I could do a lovely AITA post about it here, but it's probably a little too personal. But... shouting through our daughters bedroom wall to my daughter that "Daddy won't let me come in and cuddle you" whilst i'm sitting there waiting for her to go to calm down and get into bed isn't exactly great is it?! |
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"Do we also get to utterly mis interpret the point of the question, and damn anyone to hell that we don't like, even though that's fundamentally good content for AITA? What a shit show that sub is.
You’ve just described half of the forum threads on here..."
TBH having poked around a few other places recently, this place is kinda great...  |
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"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though "
Come on, Mums can use the whole I carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, taught you how to eat, walk and talk. This is how you repay me speech.
You can't call them an arse hole for that, can you |
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"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though
Come on, Mums can use the whole I carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, taught you how to eat, walk and talk. This is how you repay me speech.
You can't call them an arse hole for that, can you "
*stands up, clears throat"
I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!
*flips table, exits, pursued by a Mum* |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though
Come on, Mums can use the whole I carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, taught you how to eat, walk and talk. This is how you repay me speech.
You can't call them an arse hole for that, can you "
Maternal guilt trips...
still in the asshole ball park |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though
Come on, Mums can use the whole I carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, taught you how to eat, walk and talk. This is how you repay me speech.
You can't call them an arse hole for that, can you
*stands up, clears throat"
I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!
*flips table, exits, pursued by a Mum*"
I’m going to applaud you for the oblique Shakespearean reference there. Nicely done
*doffs cap* |
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"If you have to ask, then probably yes.
Nope, not at all. Getting your judgement in early could be seen as it though
Come on, Mums can use the whole I carried you for 9 months, gave birth to you, taught you how to eat, walk and talk. This is how you repay me speech.
You can't call them an arse hole for that, can you
*stands up, clears throat"
I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!
*flips table, exits, pursued by a Mum*"
Very much this but all internalised  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do we also get to utterly mis interpret the point of the question, and damn anyone to hell that we don't like, even though that's fundamentally good content for AITA? What a shit show that sub is."
Reddit is a shit show in general |
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"Do we also get to utterly mis interpret the point of the question, and damn anyone to hell that we don't like, even though that's fundamentally good content for AITA? What a shit show that sub is.
Reddit is a shit show in general "
You go asking for some parenting advice or something. Some stranger on the other side of a planet clicks a little down arrow and you're buried. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA? |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?"
Hard no. Although if they’re fit you should reconsider your stance.
#hereforyourquim |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?"
No. It takes two people to build a connection and if they’ve not invested the time, it’s not on you to accommodate them.
Putting your needs and others first isn’t asshole behaviour |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?
Hard no. Although if they’re fit you should reconsider your stance.
#hereforyourquim "
That goes without saying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
Elderly parents sure can get entitled... NTA
They’re terrible for it unfortunately. I got an ultimatum via txt the day after my birthday at 4am - “invite us over or we’re not coming”.
Dad’s an absolute bully so assume he figured his tactics would wash.
Not sure he thought that message through!
"
They were the assholes after your first post. Now they are even more assholes after the above! Surely covid restrictions at that time would mean they couldn't visit anyway.
But an ultimatum at 4am.... I'm wondering if they are the reason you moved further away. 
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?"
No you're not. I would assume they haven't been in touch because sex has been banned this last year. Now it's allowed so they are suddenly 'friends' again.
 |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
Elderly parents sure can get entitled... NTA
They’re terrible for it unfortunately. I got an ultimatum via txt the day after my birthday at 4am - “invite us over or we’re not coming”.
Dad’s an absolute bully so assume he figured his tactics would wash.
Not sure he thought that message through!
They were the assholes after your first post. Now they are even more assholes after the above! Surely covid restrictions at that time would mean they couldn't visit anyway.
But an ultimatum at 4am.... I'm wondering if they are the reason you moved further away.
"
I agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?"
You are NTA.
They all belong in the bin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?"
I think they are way OTT but it doesn’t sound like you like them very much either.. ? I can see their point of view as it sounds like excuses rather then genuine reasons but they shouldn’t be chucking the whole helping you out in the past in your face either.
I couldn’t imagine telling my parents they had to wait 6 weeks to visit. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?
You are NTA.
They all belong in the bin. "
Yay! Validation. Thank you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So...
I've had a recent influx of messages from those who haven't messaged me for over a year. One actually replied to something I sent last February. I do make it rather clear that I won't be having sex with someone unless I consider them to be a friend. For the most part I've left those messages unread and have no energy to pick things up from where they left it.
AITA?
You are NTA.
They all belong in the bin.
Yay! Validation. Thank you. "
Next time block them all once it’s obvious it’s finished.
My Block list is sooo long. No one can get back in contact with me a year later when they are bored |
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"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
I think they are way OTT but it doesn’t sound like you like them very much either.. ? I can see their point of view as it sounds like excuses rather then genuine reasons but they shouldn’t be chucking the whole helping you out in the past in your face either.
I couldn’t imagine telling my parents they had to wait 6 weeks to visit. "
Maybe be thankful you have parents and that they care about you and want to see you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so I recently moved house and didn’t want to invite my parents to see it straight away as we were busy with kids and a new job, plus decided to get the kitchen done. So they’d have had to wait 6 weeks to come which suited me.
They used to live a 3 minute walk away and now it’s a 45min drive.
I told them they’d have to wait to come and visit and now they’re no longer speaking to me because apparently them putting me through uni and letting me live there rent free after a break up means that I should show them gratitude (and let them have first dibs on visiting).
It’s been two months and no word!
AITA?
I think they are way OTT but it doesn’t sound like you like them very much either.. ? I can see their point of view as it sounds like excuses rather then genuine reasons but they shouldn’t be chucking the whole helping you out in the past in your face either.
I couldn’t imagine telling my parents they had to wait 6 weeks to visit.
Maybe be thankful you have parents and that they care about you and want to see you. "
What tosh are you talking!?
Where did I say I wasn’t thankful for my own parents and what has that got to do with anything.
We are all entitled to our opinion and the whole point of asking on this thread is to get other people’s opinions..
I don’t need you telling me how I should be thankful just for having parents. If I wanted your opinion on my relationship with my parents i would of asked for it. I didn’t. |
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