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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've had a hidden profile accuse me of this. Am I wrong to state which race I would like to meet? I'm quite upset about this and it makes me feel like leaving the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a hidden profile accuse me of this. Am I wrong to state which race I would like to meet? I'm quite upset about this and it makes me feel like leaving the site."
It's not racist, it's a preference. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
Personally, I do not see anything wrong in making a positive statement such as "I am particularly attracted to ... tall/ short/ athletic/ a few pounds extra/ bold/ bearded...."
For me that is a positive statement and I cannot see that people could take offense. It might be different if we state the negative "not attracted to......"
But that is just me and how I would feel reading it. Others may differ. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, race is relative isn’t ? We are one human race then maybe ethnicities?
So it’s not being racist, maybe stating why could offend some people but I saw few women profile asking for black men only for example. I never seen Asian only or Chinese only but it’s possible. Your sex life your choice! It avoid any time wasting... |
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Different people feel differently about how preference is stated. There have been numerous threads on this subject matter and it is usually a heated discussion.
It's your profile and you can do as you wish within the rules. |
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It's not wrong to have a preference. If your intention is to express it the fair enough, but it can come across as insensitive even if it's not meant that way. I personally think it causes less upset not to say it and pass on people who you aren't attracted to. |
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If you were saying something derogatory towards a race, then yes that would be racist, but if its just stating a preference then it's 'just' a preference and there is nothing wrong with that.
Is exactly the same someone saying they only want big cocks, or that they don't want single men. Nothing wrong with it.
Just ignore them, as they obviously just feel hurt because they fancy you and know the feeling wouldn't be mutual. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont agree with fetishising someone based on colour, and I see that as racism dressed up as a preference.
Not even slightly sorry.
What you do with your profile, thats on you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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yes, maybe I should just not mention it, I only did it to save time but it was probably not a good idea. I do wish people would ask me about it if they have a problem and I would be happy to explain, not that I should have to |
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"yes, maybe I should just not mention it, I only did it to save time but it was probably not a good idea. I do wish people would ask me about it if they have a problem and I would be happy to explain, not that I should have to"
Don’t remove it its your preference.. why let others tell you what they think you want?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you can choose who you want to sleep with I specify no gypsys ,nothing personal just not got enough room on the drive for a caravan so would just be bit arkward. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's very easy to not answer mails from the people you don't fancy instead of putting your 'preference' on your profile.
I don't fancy lots of things but I don't want to be offensive.
Some things are better left un said |
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"It's very easy to not answer mails from the people you don't fancy instead of putting your 'preference' on your profile.
I don't fancy lots of things but I don't want to be offensive.
Some things are better left un said"
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I would say, keep your preference on your profile. Like others have said, its YOUR profile, and you know what you like/dislike.
If others are offended, or make something of what your preference is, it is their issue not yours... please don't take it on as yours.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be polite, be courteous.
Express what you Do seek, rather than what you Don't.
If it's your thing, it's your thing, enjoy yourself.
If it's not your thing, Don't have anyone telling you it should be.
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"Why should a complete stranger's opinion in an online environment even matter?"
This is exactly what I said on the married mans thread. People care too much what other people think. Just do what you do! |
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"I've had a hidden profile accuse me of this. Am I wrong to state which race I would like to meet? I'm quite upset about this and it makes me feel like leaving the site."
You do you. Tell fab users what you are looking for on your profile. It will save people who don’t meet this criteria wasting their time messaging you. Take no notice of haters. |
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Other side of the coin OP.
If I stated"no people from Wiltshire" (or wherever) on my profile some of the good people of Wiltshire (or Dundee or Newcastle or wherever) would possibly feel a bit miffed and ask why I didn't want to meet them.
I could reply it's my preference but that wouldn't stop them from feeling miffed.
Obviously in real life I wouldn't rule out a whole area/country or race.
And as someone above said, I think it comes across better on a profile to highlight your likes rather than your dislikes. |
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"Other side of the coin OP.
If I stated"no people from Wiltshire" (or wherever) on my profile some of the good people of Wiltshire (or Dundee or Newcastle or wherever) would possibly feel a bit miffed and ask why I didn't want to meet them.
I could reply it's my preference but that wouldn't stop them from feeling miffed.
Obviously in real life I wouldn't rule out a whole area/country or race.
And as someone above said, I think it comes across better on a profile to highlight your likes rather than your dislikes."
But surely stating what you like, heavily implies what you don't?
Also, you are assuming that she said she disliked a certain thing, but nowhere in this thread does she say that. Personally, I assumed (potentially incorrectly) that she had done as you suggest and stated a preference (possibly for big black cocks?) and it is that preference that someone has taken offence too.
Without actually knowing 'what' she wrote, it's very hard to judge if it was offensive or not.
However, I believe you should be honest with what you want (as long as you are not offensive in doing so), and if that upsets someone, then it's probably a good thing that they are now avoiding you rather than investing time in you and 'then' finding out they do not meet your preferences.
So just be true to yourself, but also being respectful and polite. |
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By *batMan
over a year ago
Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales) |
"Personally, I do not see anything wrong in making a positive statement such as "I am particularly attracted to ... tall/ short/ athletic/ a few pounds extra/ bold/ bearded...."
For me that is a positive statement and I cannot see that people could take offense. It might be different if we state the negative "not attracted to......"
But that is just me and how I would feel reading it. Others may differ. "
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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago
Liverpool |
"There’s really mixed opinions on here on this. I don’t think it’s racist but I also wouldn’t put something like that on my profile.
I’d just ignore them op. Nothing to do with them "
The thing I don't get is, why does it need to be on there? Preference or racism, regardless, unless "you" are going to reply to men to say no thanks instead of just no reply, then what difference does stating a potentially controversial preference make.
I've messaged women before, and based upon what their profile says I'm 100% what they are looking for, yet it gets ignored or deleted (I have no problem with this, this is the way!). So why not just do the same for this specific preference? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had a hidden profile accuse me of this. Am I wrong to state which race I would like to meet? I'm quite upset about this and it makes me feel like leaving the site."
Ignore, block or report 
You and everyone else here are entitled to a preference it’s got sod all to do with race, religion, gender or any other bollocks 
You crack on  |
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Your prefferance is up to you and unless motivated by racist reasons is NOT racist, it is simply your prefferance the same as many people have preferences for body type, age, hair colour or many other things, just block the idiot and continue to enjoy the site and what it has to offer that suites your desires. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is why we will never get anywhere... someone has said that they feel like they are being treated like a fetish because of their race... and let's face it that's not a nice feeling and I think it's wrong.
No one knows the context... yet everyone is like yeah fuck them, say what you want. "Preference".
I've also seen loads of men get grief for this kind of fetishism. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Given that you are only want to be meeting black guys, I assume that it is whites who are calling you a racist ?
But pretty sure the same ppl who are accusing you of racism, would defend you if you stated that you were only after white males. And brand the preferences excuse.
My take on it , is that if your profile exclude some ppl, you have to expect that the ones who feel excluded will voice their opinions.
As you have the right to state your racial preference, they have the right to state what they think about it.
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"Given that you are only want to be meeting black guys, I assume that it is whites who are calling you a racist ?
But pretty sure the same ppl who are accusing you of racism, would defend you if you stated that you were only after white males. And brand the preferences excuse.
My take on it , is that if your profile exclude some ppl, you have to expect that the ones who feel excluded will voice their opinions.
As you have the right to state your racial preference, they have the right to state what they think about it.
"
The wonder of free speech and the right of reply.. those who complain are silly sausages in my opinion |
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