A lot of people will have seen the video Clip of child saying "monkey on the car" in an innocent voice going through the safari park.
The mum replies "monkey on the car"
To which the child replies "F..k off monkey !
Now this isn't a thread about where the child learned the language from.
It's a lighthearted thread about embarrassing things either your child has said or done or other peoples
Curly wurly for the funniest
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Apparently when I was a child, sat in the waiting room of our doctors surgery, a ‘large’ woman got out of her seat as she had been called up next, and in a voice that the whole room heard I exclaimed
‘Look at the size of her’ 
Obviously I would never do such a thing now I’m a grownup |
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More funny than embarrassing. In the chip shop with our then 3 year old there was a one legged Man. Our Son was then searching around the Man. We knew what was coming.. "Why's that Man only got one leg?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mom told me I once called a nun Batman!"
I told my 5yrs old son that Batman wore his under-pants on the outside...I wondered what the howling laughter from other kids in our close was about when i looked out of the kitchen window....There he was standing in the middle of a bunch of girls laughing hysterically with his underpants over his trackies. |
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"My mom told me I once called a nun Batman!
I told my 5yrs old son that Batman wore his under-pants on the outside...I wondered what the howling laughter from other kids in our close was about when i looked out of the kitchen window....There he was standing in the middle of a bunch of girls laughing hysterically with his underpants over his trackies."
Aww bless him! |
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"My mom told me I once called a nun Batman!
I told my 5yrs old son that Batman wore his under-pants on the outside...I wondered what the howling laughter from other kids in our close was about when i looked out of the kitchen window....There he was standing in the middle of a bunch of girls laughing hysterically with his underpants over his trackies."
I'm going to give it a go to see if it has the same effect on grown women |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My step daughter when she was 5 at Alton towers saw the guy off the quiz show tenable
Then said not too loud but loud enough “”look a little daddy”
She meant absolutely no harm but we made a quick escape and went to the cafe and calmly explained
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When my son was about 14 he used hang out in the video shop. I was single at the time.
Anyway he came home one night and said the guy in the video shop wanted to take me out for a drink. The little shit and only told him i was single and took a photo of me down to show him. I was mortified and never went in the video shop again |
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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago
Derbyshire village |
When my first was very young, we were in a Little Chef (THAT long ago) whereupon he spotted a lady with dwarfism. So he shouted (as loudly as possible) "look at that little mummy!"
We were mortified, but she smiled at him and waved and he said no more about it. The ground didn't unfortunately open up and swallow me. Ugh. Kids. |
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When I took my kids to Disney, my youngest daughter hated being in a dress (they were dressed up for a photo shoot).
Whilst I was dealing with one of the others, she ripped the dress off and started to run, so I had to give chase.
It's supringly tricky to catch a 3 year old in knickers, who is weaving in and out of all the people on the packed main street |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My 2 year old put his Teddy on 'the step'. I asked why Teddy was on the step and he told me that Teddy had done something naughty. I asked what and the reply was "he said fuckin' 'ell".... |
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Went to a cafe in Rotherham when my kid was about 6. Ald fella with a broad Yorkshire accent on the next table struck up conversation.
Child looked at him, looked at me and asked "What language is he speaking, mummy?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our 10 yr old many moons ago wrote cunt in the condensation of the bathroom mirror... he was just experimenting and didn't realise next shower it would reappear  |
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By *ogueAngelMan
over a year ago
Near Bath / Bristol |
My daughter is full of these. Once when she was about 4 years old her mother was reversing out of a tight parking space and nobody was giving way. After a couple of minutes my daughter piped up, "are you quite alright in the front there? Do you need a hand?" |
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"My daughter is full of these. Once when she was about 4 years old her mother was reversing out of a tight parking space and nobody was giving way. After a couple of minutes my daughter piped up, "are you quite alright in the front there? Do you need a hand?" "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I was with my boys mum he picked up a bra in a shop started swinging it around his head shouting at the top of his voice boobie knickers boobie knickers mummy wants some boobie knickers |
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"i love this thread , wish they would bring back kids say the funniest things for tv "
Thank you, just try to do something different on here.
Sadly it doesn't get as much interest as sex related posts ! Lol |
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Our youngest Daughter kept calling the Tesco delivery driver "Daddy" when she was a toddler...
She also came running downstairs once waving a butt-plug around when the Mother-In-Law was here (she had somehow managed to get into my top drawer).
That was fun!... 
- Amy. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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 when my niece was very young she saw a dwarfed/midget person and said “look at that big person”
It was funny at the time because of how small she was and ended well because got the dwarfed/midget person laughing and chatting to us |
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