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Sapiophilic vs 'All other variants'

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is a copy'n'paste of a thread I started in the Wales forum. I am posting here to compare the responses, as some of those in the Wales forum are my friends, some of them are the people mentioned, and so an unbiased opinion is sought.

Please note the verification summary so you know I am not some magical fantasist....

The Wales thread starts as thus:

So, in my 4 or 5 years of sexual adventures on Fab, I have encountered many types of sexual tastes. Some agreeable to me, others best left for the benefit of others. Each to their own, and so forth. But I am acutely aware of what works for me and what doesn't, even if you try and add some seasoning and other flavours in to the recipe.

One thing that stands out for me about the enjoyment/success of the experience at hand is the need for a 'connection'. However fleeting, something in that moment that makes it worth it. And from that I derive pleasure. It isn't what's happening right there and then, it's the why, or the connection that makes it possible.

I am genuinely envious of the guys who get hard and can fuck for ages just because they have a naked woman willing to help them in mutual pleasures. I can't do that, I have tried, and several superbly sexy women on here have had that disappointment where I didn't 'Show up' for them despite everything they tried and the fun became a one-way street (they got theirs, mostly).

But then I ask myself, which is more rewarding.... The satisfaction of the connection and the implied mutual benefit, or the ability to just get each other off as a posh wank?

Please discuss and flame as appropriate

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For me sex with the connection is more pleasurable and satisfying than sex without it.

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By *urls and DressesWoman over a year ago

Somewhere near here

The connection 100%, sex wouldn’t at all feel right without common ground, a connection, someone who stimulates the mind. This is why I always want to get to know someone before stripping clothes off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm never really sure precisely what folk mean on here when they talk about connection

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

Being a demisexual myself I can't just turn up and fuck.

Most people get bored and stop talking way before I'm in lust and want to be naked with them.

I doubt clubs would work for me as I need a lot of conversation before I meet.

The quickest I've met someone was with my long term partner 11 years ago. He wooed me into bed in a couple of hours. I've not come across anyone who does that for me since.

I still get excited when I know he's coming to see me.

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By *ad NannaWoman over a year ago

East London

"I'm never really sure precisely what folk mean on here when they talk about connection

A mental connection.

You talk and feel something other than "You're hot, let's fuck" or needing a hole filled.

Sex talk doesn't do that for me either.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

You know that having a connection isn’t what being a sapiophile is about?

Personally I prefer a connection but I’ve met people in clubs before and have gone with mutual attraction.

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By *VineMan over a year ago

The right place

By far the best meets are with someone who I can’t relax and have a laugh and a conversation with. I still need to fancy them physically but that’s all part of the chemistry.

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I think both are rewarding if that's what you want to do.

Sometimes I want to make love with a great friend, sometimes I see a unkown fit man that I just want to jump on and fuck his brains out

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By *a LunaWoman over a year ago

South Wales

I think most connections are an illusion on here. It’s temporary. You matter to them for that moment, then they either get bored and move along or someone shiny and new becomes their new focus and you just become one of a few interesting possibilities.

Chatting to someone on here that absolutely blows my socks off on a all singing and all dancing connection level is rare.

So I’m just happy if we get on and I fancy them.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I tend to agree with a lot of that but wrong word probably as that doesn’t describe sapiosexual.

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By *ora the explorerWoman over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"By far the best meets are with someone who I can’t relax and have a laugh and a conversation with. I still need to fancy them physically but that’s all part of the chemistry. "

Love it when I can’t relax and have a laugh

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sounds like you are demisexual OP.

There's a lot of people the same on the forums, it's not a bad thing.

Some people can fuck n go. Some need more. The trick is finding similar to yourself.

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By *ea monkeyMan over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Sounds like you are demisexual OP.

There's a lot of people the same on the forums, it's not a bad thing.

Some people can fuck n go. Some need more. The trick is finding similar to yourself.

I was thinking the same

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By *atnip make me purrWoman over a year ago

Reading

I need intelligence for any sustained attraction and as I'm only interested in fwbs that has to be a foregone conclusion. Could i be attracted in the moment to some young Adonis with the intellectual capacity of a frog then yes, it would just fade quickly? I agree with the others that it sounds like you are demi sexual.

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By *emorefridaCouple over a year ago

La la land

I wouldn't say one is better than the other. It's like comparing apples to pears. The only thing that actually matters is that you understand what makes you tick and that in turn helps you find someone compatible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think most connections are an illusion on here. It’s temporary. You matter to them for that moment, then they either get bored and move along or someone shiny and new becomes their new focus and you just become one of a few interesting possibilities.

Chatting to someone on here that absolutely blows my socks off on a all singing and all dancing connection level is rare.

So I’m just happy if we get on and I fancy them. "

Oooooo shiny shiny.

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By *gent CoulsonMan over a year ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I have never truly been a fuck and go person outside of a club.

I want that connection, I need that connection, it takes time to build with some, yet with others it can just click straight away, just how my brain works, I want that complete package, but then dont we all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chatting to someone on here that absolutely blows my socks off on a all singing and all dancing connection level is rare.

So I’m just happy if we get on and I fancy them. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for the relies. I don't class myself as demisexual as I find my brain is my biggest sexual organ. Stimulate that in the right way and my body will follow.

I am attracted to intellect and intelligence, forgoing any lack of physical attraction, so that I actually want to create lasting memories in the moment.

I have been able to fuck and go, but only when there has been sufficient mental foreplay before the actual physical play.

But I thought it was an interesting topic to talk about and explore

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By *lair101TV/TS over a year ago

Aberdeen, westhill

Connection is everything.... Call it chemistry. It makes for the best sex as it turns into love making. There's kissing and hugs that feel natural.

Been with guys who are very good looking, but there was no connection and it is just kinda meh.

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