I work alongside one and I need to know how to deal with it.
I'm fairly new to this office (not the company) and there's only the two of us.
At first I thought it was a reaction to the huge stress we were under but no, every bloody thing is catastophised and despite my reassurance that whatever is happening is out of our control and all we have to do is wait, they get worked up into a real state and I'm struggling to ignore it now.
Any strategies you like to share?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
Depends on your relationship. Can you have a quiet word with them (or a superior) and mention your concerns. Ask them if they are aware they are doing it.
They may not realise as nobody has mentioned it, or they just can’t stop them self from doing it, in which case they should really seek professional help from a Dr or some such. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a family member like that. It wears me down sometimes as I'm quite a positive person. I'd love to hear any solutions also. At the moment I just walk away but would love to help them cope better. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I work alongside one and I need to know how to deal with it.
I'm fairly new to this office (not the company) and there's only the two of us.
At first I thought it was a reaction to the huge stress we were under but no, every bloody thing is catastophised and despite my reassurance that whatever is happening is out of our control and all we have to do is wait, they get worked up into a real state and I'm struggling to ignore it now.
Any strategies you like to share?
"
Advice: Clive Dunn.
Dads Army.
"Don't panic!"
"Don't panic!"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As above. I’ve a family member that literally can spin anything good into something bad and it’s very wearing and depressing. I feel for you. At least I’ve been able to distance myself within reason.
J  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I like to catastophise purely because if I imagine the worst it can't possibly be like that and it helps me cope with the situation
If you have the energy you could talk it through their thoughts with them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ljamMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, even when you offer solutions he will still moan, so I just Walkaway."
Pretty much this. Be understanding but if it gets too much then get some space and remind yourself it's not your responsibility. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?"
In a way I wish it was, I could then gently broach it but it seems it's quite normal for them. They love gossip, can't keep a confidence and will keep on until somebody (we have a few regular staff that are transient) listens and lets them get it out.
I have tread carefully, I'm the newbie in a well established business within a branch in a small town where most of the staff either went to school together or are related.
If I knew how to manage how it makes me feel, I could roll my eyes and bung it down to their personality trait.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ljamMan
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?
In a way I wish it was, I could then gently broach it but it seems it's quite normal for them. They love gossip, can't keep a confidence and will keep on until somebody (we have a few regular staff that are transient) listens and lets them get it out.
I have tread carefully, I'm the newbie in a well established business within a branch in a small town where most of the staff either went to school together or are related.
If I knew how to manage how it makes me feel, I could roll my eyes and bung it down to their personality trait.
"
My standard response to anyone looking to better manage their feelings, and how outside forces impact on them, is to try regular mindfulness meditation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I work with a bloke who never stops moaning, even when you offer solutions he will still moan, so I just Walkaway."
They do it over stuff we have absolutely no control over. Today they interfered with a system we have to trust and a real catastrophe almost happened.
They are gradually learning that I'm not going to entertain that behaviour but it starts anyway and carries on and on... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?
In a way I wish it was, I could then gently broach it but it seems it's quite normal for them. They love gossip, can't keep a confidence and will keep on until somebody (we have a few regular staff that are transient) listens and lets them get it out.
I have tread carefully, I'm the newbie in a well established business within a branch in a small town where most of the staff either went to school together or are related.
If I knew how to manage how it makes me feel, I could roll my eyes and bung it down to their personality trait.
My standard response to anyone looking to better manage their feelings, and how outside forces impact on them, is to try regular mindfulness meditation. "
I've tried many times over the years to practice both but it's not something I find helpful at all.
Not that I could do it at work anyway! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?"
It does sound like a mental health issue - people with ADHD, for example, can be prone to this type of thinking.
Not much advice really apart from possibly listening as to why they think it's going to end in disaster and waiting for them to calm down.
Some sort of therapy would be needed to help them in the long term. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?
It does sound like a mental health issue - people with ADHD, for example, can be prone to this type of thinking.
Not much advice really apart from possibly listening as to why they think it's going to end in disaster and waiting for them to calm down.
Some sort of therapy would be needed to help them in the long term."
I'm not in a position encourage them to go to therapy and it happens many times a day.
They will not change, it's me that has to work on how I deal with it.
Occasionally, a real problem appears and I need to be calm to sort it out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?
It does sound like a mental health issue - people with ADHD, for example, can be prone to this type of thinking.
Not much advice really apart from possibly listening as to why they think it's going to end in disaster and waiting for them to calm down.
Some sort of therapy would be needed to help them in the long term.
I'm not in a position encourage them to go to therapy and it happens many times a day.
They will not change, it's me that has to work on how I deal with it.
Occasionally, a real problem appears and I need to be calm to sort it out."
You’ll probably need to offload the stress that being around them brings you so maybe a journal so you can “talk” to someone and reflect back on it if you need to or doing something that relaxes you. Just generally looking after yourself so you’re strong enough to cope with her.
Really though I think you need to find an ally within the Company (although this sounds tricky) so you can make them aware of your concerns and to cover your back should their catastrophising cause an issue and it bounces back onto you. Plus you shouldn’t have to carry that emotionally draining (because it is) burden, it could start to affect your wellbeing and that’s not fair.
Not much real help I know - but it’s tricky. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"are they aware they do it? It can be a sign of a mental health issue? Are they being treated for it?
It does sound like a mental health issue - people with ADHD, for example, can be prone to this type of thinking.
Not much advice really apart from possibly listening as to why they think it's going to end in disaster and waiting for them to calm down.
Some sort of therapy would be needed to help them in the long term.
I'm not in a position encourage them to go to therapy and it happens many times a day.
They will not change, it's me that has to work on how I deal with it.
Occasionally, a real problem appears and I need to be calm to sort it out.
You’ll probably need to offload the stress that being around them brings you so maybe a journal so you can “talk” to someone and reflect back on it if you need to or doing something that relaxes you. Just generally looking after yourself so you’re strong enough to cope with her.
Really though I think you need to find an ally within the Company (although this sounds tricky) so you can make them aware of your concerns and to cover your back should their catastrophising cause an issue and it bounces back onto you. Plus you shouldn’t have to carry that emotionally draining (because it is) burden, it could start to affect your wellbeing and that’s not fair.
Not much real help I know - but it’s tricky."
Actually, that has helped, a couple of things you've said have clarified some thoughts.
Thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *irginieWoman
over a year ago
Near Marlborough |
I work with one. Drives me nuts. He’s actually been told that nothing is a catastrophe until
He’s talked to me about it. So any escalations have to come through me. Takes hours of my week and is exhausting.
V x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
start leaving printed notes on his desk.
'the police know'
'im placing our affair on facebook'
if its a woman 'i think you dropped this' and leave a unopened condom on the desk with it.
watch them look around nervously.
he he |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
