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It’s ok to not be ok
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own" Top post OP! Look out for your friends as well as yourself. | |||
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"The black dog is a frequent visitor and on those days its hard to see the wood for the trees , but also I can count my blessings and have amazing support, and also good meds that keep the shitty days at bay ! I do believe it’s ok not to be ok and give yourself a break "Giving yourself a break is very important. How do you deal on the dog days? | |||
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"Great post OP and one very close to me " Yes, I saw your post. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard to speak up, even more so in those situations. I hope that you’re managing? | |||
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"It's when you feel you have no-one to turn too, that's the hardest part. If someone hasn't experienced what is troubling you then they are never going to understand the utter despair and desperation you feel. Its hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to keep going.... "I hear that. As much as people try, sometimes they just don't understand. Hope you're okay. Sending you a big hug  | |||
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"These past couple of weeks have been hard emotionally because of a past event, I'm trying to stay positive, and the members of the forum who have reached out to offer support have been amazing, so to you, thank you, you have made it a little easier to get through. To those who are struggling, you truly are not alone" I’m glad that you’re getting support. If you need to chat, feel free to PM | |||
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"The black dog is a frequent visitor and on those days its hard to see the wood for the trees , but also I can count my blessings and have amazing support, and also good meds that keep the shitty days at bay ! I do believe it’s ok not to be ok and give yourself a break
Giving yourself a break is very important.
How do you deal on the dog days? "Sometimes I just let it be , wait for it to pass and wallow a bit , on a better day I will make myself do things even if it’s just dusting or painting my nails little things that make me feel like I’ve achieved something and that really helps me . We’re all so different and all deal with it in which ever way we can I guess x | |||
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"It's when you feel you have no-one to turn too, that's the hardest part. If someone hasn't experienced what is troubling you then they are never going to understand the utter despair and desperation you feel. Its hard to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to keep going.... "I know what you’re saying. Part of the issue with anxiety and depression is that it makes you think that you’re alone and that no one understands, that’s not true. There are people that know, understand and can help. Even if they’ve not directly experienced what you’re going through, people can still support you | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now "That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you? I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others. I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally. I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster. Not an accusation, rather an observation | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation "So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words. Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support. | |||
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"I am not OK and won't be for a while while things out of my control move steadily forward to whatever conclusion is inevitable Luckily I have a great friend support network and they noticed I am not OK and they asked me, so I didn't have to sweep under the carpet my feelings and still be strong for everyone else. My point is that not everyone can or will ask for help so make sure you check in with your friends before it's too late " That’s so very true. I’m glad that you’re getting support | |||
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"The black dog is a frequent visitor and on those days its hard to see the wood for the trees , but also I can count my blessings and have amazing support, and also good meds that keep the shitty days at bay ! I do believe it’s ok not to be ok and give yourself a break
Giving yourself a break is very important.
How do you deal on the dog days?
Sometimes I just let it be , wait for it to pass and wallow a bit , on a better day I will make myself do things even if it’s just dusting or painting my nails little things that make me feel like I’ve achieved something and that really helps me . We’re all so different and all deal with it in which ever way we can I guess x"That’s very true. Doing small things and celebrating achievements is a good way of helping yourself. I once celebrated making a cuppa | |||
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"Great and thoughtful post OP things are bad for so many at the moment and I myself am having a realy tough time both mentally and physically so its never easy. Just remember to try to be good to yourself and others "I’m sorry to read that, do you want to chat about it? | |||
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"It's also ok to not want to talk. "That’s true. Not everyone is helped by talking, some process on their own terms and open up in their own time, in their own way | |||
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"Great post OP and one very close to me Yes, I saw your post. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard to speak up, even more so in those situations. I hope that you’re managing? " Yeah I’m good thankyou, I won’t lie though, I’ve a small circle and lost a few friends from an outer circle of friends that still hurt at their loss. But Bucky was my circle.
I still get upset like now. But my head process things quite quickly and I’m in a good place.
I’m lucky I’ve lots of ex mil mates living close by I can talk to like I have been. And one amazing special one keeping me smiling.
It’s always good to talk, it doesn’t even need to be a planned chat with someone.
Just make a brew and start talking
People do open up if they feel comfortable.
But thanks mate | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support. "Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same? I have seen it in the past that they don’t. Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic. I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support.
Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same?
I have seen it in the past that they don’t.
Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic.
I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment "The world's most stupid comment 'Man up' 
Not all 'unknows' get treated differently. At least there are people here who will be supportive regardless of who they are x | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support.
Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same?
I have seen it in the past that they don’t.
Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic.
I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment "I’m from a world were man up As always been part of the course when things get tough... People slate the military on their failings and quite rightly so.. But that’s at the top levels. On a low level most guys and girls see the small changes in their brothers abd sisters. And we drink enough brews to talk about all the issues in the world let alone about the ones in our own lives. And low level trauma is usually always dealt with and talked about after action. But suicide in men is higher than ever and needs addressing | |||
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"I’m not one to talk about my feelings, even from a young age it just wasn’t done in my family. I’m not ok, but I’m so tired that seems the overriding problem, or perhaps I can’t think of anything else because I’m so tired. I haven’t really got anybody I can talk to, and would feel very uncomfortable telling anyone what’s wrong. Sometimes not everyone can talk about it x " Exactly this | |||
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"Sometimes, talking doesn’t help, doing something, just doing something helps, when talking doesn’t. Last night, I had another beer, and I caught myself, doing it again! I said, stop this, mow the yard, break free! I mowed the grass, it looked great, I felt better. Then I nearly pissed myself, that made me laugh at what I do. Do something, even if you piss yoursef!" In many ways, yes. Doing something is an achievement, brushing your teeth, making a drink, feeding yourself, having a shower. They are all achievements, sometimes it’s the small wins that are the most important | |||
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"I’m not one to talk about my feelings, even from a young age it just wasn’t done in my family. I’m not ok, but I’m so tired that seems the overriding problem, or perhaps I can’t think of anything else because I’m so tired. I haven’t really got anybody I can talk to, and would feel very uncomfortable telling anyone what’s wrong. Sometimes not everyone can talk about it x " I know what you mean. Support doesn’t mean talking necessarily, it can just be company. Being with others who don’t want anything from you other than you being there | |||
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"Sometimes, talking doesn’t help, doing something, just doing something helps, when talking doesn’t. Last night, I had another beer, and I caught myself, doing it again! I said, stop this, mow the yard, break free! I mowed the grass, it looked great, I felt better. Then I nearly pissed myself, that made me laugh at what I do. Do something, even if you piss yoursef! In many ways, yes. Doing something is an achievement, brushing your teeth, making a drink, feeding yourself, having a shower. They are all achievements, sometimes it’s the small wins that are the most important " Broken record time, but I will again state the therapeutic benefits of lego sets. The ability to shut your brain off and stop thinking while you follow a set of instructions and end up being creative/constructive is one of the best ways I have found to help with some low level funk. You don’t have to get out of bed, go into the shed or garage, you don’t need glue, paints or other specialist tools. You don’t even need great hand eye co-ordination. You can break it down and keep it for next time, and rebuild over and over again. Just stay away from technic, that can go fuck itself! | |||
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"Sometimes, talking doesn’t help, doing something, just doing something helps, when talking doesn’t. Last night, I had another beer, and I caught myself, doing it again! I said, stop this, mow the yard, break free! I mowed the grass, it looked great, I felt better. Then I nearly pissed myself, that made me laugh at what I do. Do something, even if you piss yoursef! In many ways, yes. Doing something is an achievement, brushing your teeth, making a drink, feeding yourself, having a shower. They are all achievements, sometimes it’s the small wins that are the most important Broken record time, but I will again state the therapeutic benefits of lego sets. The ability to shut your brain off and stop thinking while you follow a set of instructions and end up being creative/constructive is one of the best ways I have found to help with some low level funk. You don’t have to get out of bed, go into the shed or garage, you don’t need glue, paints or other specialist tools. You don’t even need great hand eye co-ordination. You can break it down and keep it for next time, and rebuild over and over again. Just stay away from technic, that can go fuck itself!" I love this idea! Much the same way as colouring is a helpful way of cantering your mind. These are mindfulness techniques and whilst they don’t work for everyone as there’s no ‘one size fits all’ answer, it really can help | |||
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"I'm a great listener but rarely open up about my feelings to anyone. I process things internally and tend to compartmentalise well. Often i'll invest time in something productive to keep myself occupied so I don't overthink or obsess about what might be troubling me. It's not for everyone but works well for me." It’s great that it works for you. Finding the tools to manage our own well-being is what’s important. That’s what I struggled with the most, isolating triggers and finding the tools to help myself. So long as it’s healthy and doesn’t hurt others, there are no wrong answers | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support.
Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same?
I have seen it in the past that they don’t.
Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic.
I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment "It depends on who is online when the person posts. This last year some male forum newbies have posted threads saying they are struggling and lots of people have posted offering a listening ear or just virtual hugs. | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support.
Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same?
I have seen it in the past that they don’t.
Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic.
I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment "Ah, that term “man up.” Always told to do so but I’ve never quite worked out what it is. Be a provider, do not show emotions, certainly never cry....I must be missing some nuances because I still haven’t done it enough for it to stop yet.  | |||
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" Ah, that term “man up.” Always told to do so but I’ve never quite worked out what it is. Be a provider, do not show emotions, certainly never cry....I must be missing some nuances because I still haven’t done it enough for it to stop yet. "That’s mainly because it’s a dismissive term used to tell guys that their emotions aren’t important and that being a man means not feeling. It’s an incredibly toxic turn of phrase | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support.
Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same?
I have seen it in the past that they don’t.
Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic.
I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment
It depends on who is online when the person posts.
This last year some male forum newbies have posted threads saying they are struggling and lots of people have posted offering a listening ear or just virtual hugs.
"Me too. I guess it's very much to do with who is online at the time. It's a shame because we should all feel the ability to support but in the real world, that's not so much the case x | |||
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"It can creep up on you when you least expect it too. I've a lot going on right now, starting up a business, finding out deceit from someone I'd hoped was being honest, stress from going through a divorce and an employment tribunal all at the same time. Some days I just want to pull the duvet up and stay in bed. I guess that's why I love coming on here, it takes me away from all that and I find some amusement in my day. I'm lucky though, I've got very supportive people around me and due to my counselling training I feel able to open up about my issues so that helps greatly. Add onto this Lockdown and it's been a very difficult time for a lot of people. What I have noticed recently in the forums is how open others are about issues they are going through. When I was last here, that didn't seem as common but it's really good to see that others can feel supported in the forums. There seems to be a real sense of comradeship in here now and that is so good to see. Yeah, there's the odd bit of criticism on certain posts but on the whole, it's a very supportive group of people here right now
That sounds really rough at the moment, do you have support around you?
I do think that this place can be very supportive in certain aspects, less so in others.
I find that people aren’t great at spotting others that are struggling but if someone puts their hands up, people rally.
I’ve been struggling a bit recently, much as many others are but I think that single males are ignored in this instance and people think that they’re displaying negative personality traits, rather than suffering, whereas others would be spotted faster.
Not an accusation, rather an observation
So you feel that female forum users tend to get more positive feedback than the single males? That's interesting, I hadn't actually noticed that myself. A few of the guys here have struggled recently and I've seen lots of comments with support and kind words.
Let's hope this kind of thread redresses the balance and everyone feels the same support.
Not so much the female ones but if an unknown person was exhibiting issues, would they get treated the same?
I have seen it in the past that they don’t.
Again, it’s not an accusation but sometimes people have a higher value on here if they’re perceived as well known, which can be problematic.
I have also seen guys be told to ‘man up’ if they’re having problems, in the past, which is a deeply troubling sentiment
It depends on who is online when the person posts.
This last year some male forum newbies have posted threads saying they are struggling and lots of people have posted offering a listening ear or just virtual hugs.
Me too.
I guess it's very much to do with who is online at the time. It's a shame because we should all feel the ability to support but in the real world, that's not so much the case x "I agree. I didn’t want this to be about who does or doesn’t receive support though. I’ve kind of derailed my own thread here! | |||
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"I really hate the phrase. It's NOT ok to be not ok.
"It’s trite but it’s recognising that mental health issues are normal and can be talked about. It’s about recognising, normalising and breaking the stigma before moving forwards. No, it’s not ok to be suffering but it isn’t shameful | |||
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"Some of us are truly alone. Talking doesn't help. I have survived the past 14 months. That's all I do,survive." No, talking doesn’t always help, not for everyone. Sometimes surviving is what happens and that’s a good thing. Sometimes it feels as though survival is a curse to repeat the same thing again but if you’ve survived then that means that we’re still here and still being here is a good thing | |||
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"I wont repeat what i wrote on licketys thread but yes its been a tough old year for many people" I agree. How are you doing? | |||
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"I’m up and down at the moment. I’ve been struggling with my health for over a year now, and it’s really hard. There have been times when I really haven’t been ok, and I feel like I’m coping with a huge amount on my own. " I’m going to PM you | |||
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"Are there many others out there that struggle to ask for help? I find I don’t want to be a trouble or burden other and I struggle to articulate what I’m trying to say, so it comes across as insignificant. I’ve found it’s easier to just shut up and belt up. " I know that feeling. | |||
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"I wont repeat what i wrote on licketys thread but yes its been a tough old year for many people I agree. How are you doing? " Im ok. Ive had two good weeks i make the most of it when i can | |||
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"Are there many others out there that struggle to ask for help? I find I don’t want to be a trouble or burden other and I struggle to articulate what I’m trying to say, so it comes across as insignificant. I’ve found it’s easier to just shut up and belt up. " That’s a common reaction, people feel insignificant and diminish their own pain by telling themselves that it doesn’t matter. It does matter. Health issues aren’t a burden, you wouldn’t tell someone with a broken bone to walk it off. This is no different | |||
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"I’m up and down at the moment. I’ve been struggling with my health for over a year now, and it’s really hard. There have been times when I really haven’t been ok, and I feel like I’m coping with a huge amount on my own. I’m going to PM you" Ok, I can’t but I didn’t want to post stuff directly on the forums. If you want to chat, please message | |||
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"I wont repeat what i wrote on licketys thread but yes its been a tough old year for many people I agree. How are you doing? Im ok. Ive had two good weeks i make the most of it when i can" That’s good! | |||
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"I'm afraid I'm like most men with the "I'll be alright" attitude and don't like admitting that there's anything wrong but with lockdown, lack of holidays and other important things missing from life I've been struggling. Finally spoke to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and he confirmed that I was suffering with depression. My attitude now is that I'm going to change things and get through this one way or another.Onwards and upwards "I’m glad that you took positive steps, what changes are you making? | |||
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"Are there many others out there that struggle to ask for help? I find I don’t want to be a trouble or burden other and I struggle to articulate what I’m trying to say, so it comes across as insignificant. I’ve found it’s easier to just shut up and belt up. I know that feeling." I learnt something last year. I learnt that people want to help, people need to help, and I actively hurt someone, because I didn’t want to ask for help, and he wanted to be there for me | |||
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"I'm afraid I'm like most men with the "I'll be alright" attitude and don't like admitting that there's anything wrong but with lockdown, lack of holidays and other important things missing from life I've been struggling. Finally spoke to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and he confirmed that I was suffering with depression. My attitude now is that I'm going to change things and get through this one way or another.Onwards and upwards
I’m glad that you took positive steps, what changes are you making? "Exercise is the main change. Not sleeping has been a big problem so every morning I wake up tired. Hopefully exercise will help with the sleep | |||
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"I've rarely got clarity over whether I'm OK or not. Which is, in itself, a problem I guess. Shitty self confidence and a (from a?) perpetually muddled mind is hard." I know that feeling! Overthinking and second guessing is a constant cycle, add in a muddled mind and it’s hard to ever know. I found that journaling was a godsend for me, something to quiet the thoughts and help to pick the threads apart | |||
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"Are there many others out there that struggle to ask for help? I find I don’t want to be a trouble or burden other and I struggle to articulate what I’m trying to say, so it comes across as insignificant. I’ve found it’s easier to just shut up and belt up. I know that feeling. I learnt something last year. I learnt that people want to help, people need to help, and I actively hurt someone, because I didn’t want to ask for help, and he wanted to be there for me "I get that. It’s true that people closest want to be supportive, although it’s not a bad thing if you don’t want to. I think that putting pressure on someone to lean on you can be detrimental as well. It depends on the dynamic and the person as much as anything | |||
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"I'm afraid I'm like most men with the "I'll be alright" attitude and don't like admitting that there's anything wrong but with lockdown, lack of holidays and other important things missing from life I've been struggling. Finally spoke to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and he confirmed that I was suffering with depression. My attitude now is that I'm going to change things and get through this one way or another.Onwards and upwards
I’m glad that you took positive steps, what changes are you making?
Exercise is the main change. Not sleeping has been a big problem so every morning I wake up tired. Hopefully exercise will help with the sleep "It can do. It depends on why you’re not sleeping. Exercise is definitely a positive step though, it’s a natural mood booster | |||
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"Are there many others out there that struggle to ask for help? I find I don’t want to be a trouble or burden other and I struggle to articulate what I’m trying to say, so it comes across as insignificant. I’ve found it’s easier to just shut up and belt up. I know that feeling. I learnt something last year. I learnt that people want to help, people need to help, and I actively hurt someone, because I didn’t want to ask for help, and he wanted to be there for me
I get that. It’s true that people closest want to be supportive, although it’s not a bad thing if you don’t want to.
I think that putting pressure on someone to lean on you can be detrimental as well. It depends on the dynamic and the person as much as anything "Yes, you’re right, but it worked for me . | |||
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"The thing I know about mental health and especially depression from my own experience, is that when help is especially needed it's almost impossible to ask for it. You don't want to be a burden on others and that demon in your head makes you really believe that everyone would be better off without having to worry about you. Of course when I say you, I really mean me. Its not enough to ask if someone is OK or to say 'let me know if you need anything' because they won't. They don't want to be a burden. You need to be proactive. That's my experience anyway. " I agree. It’s a specific trick of our minds in those times that the illness tells us that we don’t matter and no one cares when it does and they do. What active support do you recommend? Not trying to pressure you here, I’m wanting to know how to help | |||
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"A lady replied to me on My thread about not talking and what helped her was getting her dog... I relate to this They show love and are great companions, want you, and rely on you..., and you have to show them the same back. But please only get a dog if you can cope. They’re not a crutch or medication. But they can be a help towards focus abd routine " I've seen the benefits of how introducing a dog, or therapy dog, into someone's life can change it for them so much in a positive way for all the reasons you say and more, but yes, it is a big responsibility to take on and even my puppy was the biggest stress of my life for nearly 6 months, so definatly something that needs to be thought through to make sure your helping yourself by adding to your worries. | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own" Well Said | |||
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"Some of us are truly alone. Talking doesn't help. I have survived the past 14 months. That's all I do,survive. No, talking doesn’t always help, not for everyone. Sometimes surviving is what happens and that’s a good thing. Sometimes it feels as though survival is a curse to repeat the same thing again but if you’ve survived then that means that we’re still here and still being here is a good thing" Really? You think being alive is enough. | |||
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"Some of us are truly alone. Talking doesn't help. I have survived the past 14 months. That's all I do,survive. No, talking doesn’t always help, not for everyone. Sometimes surviving is what happens and that’s a good thing. Sometimes it feels as though survival is a curse to repeat the same thing again but if you’ve survived then that means that we’re still here and still being here is a good thing Really? You think being alive is enough." I think it’s better than not being. Sometimes when things are that bad, getting through and surviving is the best that it feels like can be achieved at that moment | |||
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"Some of us are truly alone. Talking doesn't help. I have survived the past 14 months. That's all I do,survive. No, talking doesn’t always help, not for everyone. Sometimes surviving is what happens and that’s a good thing. Sometimes it feels as though survival is a curse to repeat the same thing again but if you’ve survived then that means that we’re still here and still being here is a good thing Really? You think being alive is enough. I think it’s better than not being. Sometimes when things are that bad, getting through and surviving is the best that it feels like can be achieved at that moment" At least when you're dead you don't feel anything. | |||
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"Some of us are truly alone. Talking doesn't help. I have survived the past 14 months. That's all I do,survive. No, talking doesn’t always help, not for everyone. Sometimes surviving is what happens and that’s a good thing. Sometimes it feels as though survival is a curse to repeat the same thing again but if you’ve survived then that means that we’re still here and still being here is a good thing Really? You think being alive is enough. I think it’s better than not being. Sometimes when things are that bad, getting through and surviving is the best that it feels like can be achieved at that moment At least when you're dead you don't feel anything. " If that’s how a person genuinely feels, then I would urge them to seek professional support. I’m not qualified to support someone or counsel them through something like that. I will listen, support and help wherever I can but I’m only armed with a little experience, understanding and basic counselling knowledge | |||
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"I struggle with a number of mental health issues and this past year has been a nightmare I ran out of meds as couldn't see my Dr so I've been maleing due with out them and personally I better not being on them yes I have days where I'm practically a different person but I realised my meds where keeping me in a holding pattern nothing was being done " That’s a really hard situation to be in. Regarding your meds, do you think that being off them is better? Do you have alternate forms of therapy available? | |||
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"Healing vibes all around.. " | |||
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"The thing I know about mental health and especially depression from my own experience, is that when help is especially needed it's almost impossible to ask for it. You don't want to be a burden on others and that demon in your head makes you really believe that everyone would be better off without having to worry about you. Of course when I say you, I really mean me. Its not enough to ask if someone is OK or to say 'let me know if you need anything' because they won't. They don't want to be a burden. You need to be proactive. That's my experience anyway. * I agree. It’s a specific trick of our minds in those times that the illness tells us that we don’t matter and no one cares when it does and they do. What active support do you recommend? Not trying to pressure you here, I’m wanting to know how to help" * Having an active support network can help. Friends who arrange 'coffee dates' etc to get you out of the house. Phone calls and/or messages every day from friends who have empathy or suffer similarly. They don't have to be long, just 'you're still alive then?' works for me - I find having a sense of humour helps me enormously - until you can't see the funny side but then friends pick up on that. Exercise helps - it's the endorphins. Other activities create endorphins too. There are a lot of people who suffer with MH on the BDSM scene. Having something to plan towards and look forward to is essential. The thing with depression is that it removes the want to make plans for the future, or have dreams and aspirations. What's the point when you don't even know if you're going to be around at the end of the day? Distraction is good if you can manage it. On bad days I put my ear buds in and I distract myself with loud music - I'm listening to Psychosocial by Slipknot at the moment. I don't listen to the words, but I like the music. I write so I immerse myself in another world, live another life that isn't my own, where I can be anyone or anything. Escapism comes in many forms. In the town where I live, it's possible to self refer to see a psychologist but you need to see your GP first. Depression can be a symptom of something else so it's always worth having a chat about that. A lot of mine is exacerbated by having a B12 deficiency (pernicious anaemia) which knocks me for six from an energy/exhaustion point of view also and also having now as I get older, dwindling hormone levels haven't helped. HRT helped a lot (whilst i was taking it). Mindfulness helps. Being aware of my own mental health and learning as much as I can about what helps me. Learning to recognise the early stages of an episode help and being able to put counter measures into practise, even if it's just to alert a friend that you're having a bad day. Accepting that mental health illness doesn't define who or what I am. I'm a warrior. I'm a survivor. I am strong because I got up today. A small goal is still a big achievement when you manage to brush your hair. I'm concerned now that I'm waffling  | |||
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"The thing I know about mental health and especially depression from my own experience, is that when help is especially needed it's almost impossible to ask for it. You don't want to be a burden on others and that demon in your head makes you really believe that everyone would be better off without having to worry about you. Of course when I say you, I really mean me. Its not enough to ask if someone is OK or to say 'let me know if you need anything' because they won't. They don't want to be a burden. You need to be proactive. That's my experience anyway. * I agree. It’s a specific trick of our minds in those times that the illness tells us that we don’t matter and no one cares when it does and they do. What active support do you recommend? Not trying to pressure you here, I’m wanting to know how to help * Having an active support network can help. Friends who arrange 'coffee dates' etc to get you out of the house. Phone calls and/or messages every day from friends who have empathy or suffer similarly. They don't have to be long, just 'you're still alive then?' works for me - I find having a sense of humour helps me enormously - until you can't see the funny side but then friends pick up on that. Exercise helps - it's the endorphins. Other activities create endorphins too. There are a lot of people who suffer with MH on the BDSM scene. Having something to plan towards and look forward to is essential. The thing with depression is that it removes the want to make plans for the future, or have dreams and aspirations. What's the point when you don't even know if you're going to be around at the end of the day? Distraction is good if you can manage it. On bad days I put my ear buds in and I distract myself with loud music - I'm listening to Psychosocial by Slipknot at the moment. I don't listen to the words, but I like the music. I write so I immerse myself in another world, live another life that isn't my own, where I can be anyone or anything. Escapism comes in many forms. In the town where I live, it's possible to self refer to see a psychologist but you need to see your GP first. Depression can be a symptom of something else so it's always worth having a chat about that. A lot of mine is exacerbated by having a B12 deficiency (pernicious anaemia) which knocks me for six from an energy/exhaustion point of view also and also having now as I get older, dwindling hormone levels haven't helped. HRT helped a lot (whilst i was taking it). Mindfulness helps. Being aware of my own mental health and learning as much as I can about what helps me. Learning to recognise the early stages of an episode help and being able to put counter measures into practise, even if it's just to alert a friend that you're having a bad day. Accepting that mental health illness doesn't define who or what I am. I'm a warrior. I'm a survivor. I am strong because I got up today. A small goal is still a big achievement when you manage to brush your hair. I'm concerned now that I'm waffling "Not waffling at all! Thank you for sharing that! I’m so glad that you have that and know how to manage the dog when it comes. Recognising, knowing and dealing is so much of the battle | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own" Good shout mate ! A thread that actually doesn’t center around grabbing attention ! | |||
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"Oh I could write an essay about how I'm feeling at the moment. I choose not to though. Pretty simply I don't enjoy my life the way it is. " Is it about making changes or needing support? | |||
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"Oh I could write an essay about how I'm feeling at the moment. I choose not to though. Pretty simply I don't enjoy my life the way it is. " Yeah bro I think everybody is going through there own shit ! But Don’t forget you probably felt like this before and you rocked through it and it’s now a distance memory ! Chin up ! | |||
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"Once you accept it’s ok to not be ok I believe it’s liberating. I’m lucky, I have an amazing support network around me and they’re amazing because I don’t have to be ok. We can turn up on each other’s doorstep and cry, laugh, shout or be silent but we don’t have to do it alone and we don’t have to explain unless we want to talk. It took 3 years of friendship to build up the trust between the 3 of us to get there and it’s been the only thing that’s helped throughout the last crazy year. For anybody who’s commented or just reading my inbox is always open if you ever just want to rant, cry or talk to a stranger and maybe make a new friend " That’s wonderful and I’m so glad that you have that. | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own" We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help | |||
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"The thing I know about mental health and especially depression from my own experience, is that when help is especially needed it's almost impossible to ask for it. You don't want to be a burden on others and that demon in your head makes you really believe that everyone would be better off without having to worry about you. Of course when I say you, I really mean me. Its not enough to ask if someone is OK or to say 'let me know if you need anything' because they won't. They don't want to be a burden. You need to be proactive. That's my experience anyway. * I agree. It’s a specific trick of our minds in those times that the illness tells us that we don’t matter and no one cares when it does and they do. What active support do you recommend? Not trying to pressure you here, I’m wanting to know how to help * Having an active support network can help. Friends who arrange 'coffee dates' etc to get you out of the house. Phone calls and/or messages every day from friends who have empathy or suffer similarly. They don't have to be long, just 'you're still alive then?' works for me - I find having a sense of humour helps me enormously - until you can't see the funny side but then friends pick up on that. Exercise helps - it's the endorphins. Other activities create endorphins too. There are a lot of people who suffer with MH on the BDSM scene. Having something to plan towards and look forward to is essential. The thing with depression is that it removes the want to make plans for the future, or have dreams and aspirations. What's the point when you don't even know if you're going to be around at the end of the day? Distraction is good if you can manage it. On bad days I put my ear buds in and I distract myself with loud music - I'm listening to Psychosocial by Slipknot at the moment. I don't listen to the words, but I like the music. I write so I immerse myself in another world, live another life that isn't my own, where I can be anyone or anything. Escapism comes in many forms. In the town where I live, it's possible to self refer to see a psychologist but you need to see your GP first. Depression can be a symptom of something else so it's always worth having a chat about that. A lot of mine is exacerbated by having a B12 deficiency (pernicious anaemia) which knocks me for six from an energy/exhaustion point of view also and also having now as I get older, dwindling hormone levels haven't helped. HRT helped a lot (whilst i was taking it). Mindfulness helps. Being aware of my own mental health and learning as much as I can about what helps me. Learning to recognise the early stages of an episode help and being able to put counter measures into practise, even if it's just to alert a friend that you're having a bad day. Accepting that mental health illness doesn't define who or what I am. I'm a warrior. I'm a survivor. I am strong because I got up today. A small goal is still a big achievement when you manage to brush your hair. I'm concerned now that I'm waffling
*
Not waffling at all!
Thank you for sharing that!
I’m so glad that you have that and know how to manage the dog when it comes.
Recognising, knowing and dealing is so much of the battle"* Talking about mental health from a personal perspective can be liberating. You never know, you might be that one person, who in recounting their experience, gives someone else light at the end of the tunnel (which isn't an oncoming train). I learnt more about my own MH by reading about someone else's battles with their own mental health and recognising the same destructive pattern of behaviour in myself. I used to think I was the only one, but apparently not. MH isn't an exclusive club, it'll take anyone; rich, poor, old, young, the very strong, the very weak. It doesn't discriminate. Thanks OP for highlighting MH in the forum | |||
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"Actually I don't think it's ok not to be OK. It's OK not to be able to cope and to find yourself struggling, but it's not OK that MH services are so poorly funded and provisioned that millions of people are left stranded not being OK. As a life long MH service user I've had to fight and fight to get the therapy I needed to learn proper coping skills and finally have my depression and anxiety under control. Being fobbed off with ineffective 6 week courses time after time, being discharged whilst barely functioning because CMHT measure their success rates through patient discharge numbers only to have to go back a few months later because once the support is withdrawn there is nobody to help keep you afloat. Worthwhile help should be available BEFORE the suicide attempts, not after, but it simply isn't. This situation is far from OK." I was lucky nell that my treatment was provided by the Catholic Church. "Lucky" You are right. Public Mental health services are completely inadequate. My sister nearly committed suicide. It was only after a serious attempt that she got help and initially that help was just heavy medication. She had to fight to get proper support. Its unacceptable. It also doesn't help that MH services look great now by comparison with even 20 years ago. I work with a woman who was treated for depression by electro therapy. She is only capable of doing the most basic of tasks. It makes me angry to even think about it | |||
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"Actually I don't think it's ok not to be OK. It's OK not to be able to cope and to find yourself struggling, but it's not OK that MH services are so poorly funded and provisioned that millions of people are left stranded not being OK. As a life long MH service user I've had to fight and fight to get the therapy I needed to learn proper coping skills and finally have my depression and anxiety under control. Being fobbed off with ineffective 6 week courses time after time, being discharged whilst barely functioning because CMHT measure their success rates through patient discharge numbers only to have to go back a few months later because once the support is withdrawn there is nobody to help keep you afloat. Worthwhile help should be available BEFORE the suicide attempts, not after, but it simply isn't. This situation is far from OK." The state of MH provision is awful and this last year, it’s only gotten worse. I absolutely agree that far more should be done and could be done. In terms of the statement, yes it’s trite and it’s never ok to be ill, what the statement is about is normalising MH issues, that there’s no shame in having them. Does more need to be done? Absolutely. Is it right that people are treated as you were? No way. Is it wrong to have mental health issues? Absolutely not. | |||
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"Last night I had a therapy session. I only have 3 left now. It's 4 years since I started and I'm scared/delighted that I'm nearly done. Therapy isn't going to work for everyone. You need to want it to work. It's exhausting at times. And painful. And really scary. It saved my life. Well it helped me to save my life. I was like a badly packed suitcase. In therapy I took everything out, looked at it and put it back in neatly. I learned a lot about me and I learned a lot about life. I learned that I'm fucked up, I'm a bag of cats. But that's OK because EVERYONE is fucked up. It's OK to be sad. Sadness is a legitimate emotion. I also learned that it's OK to be angry. Anger is a legitimate emotion too. Its OK to be angry but you need to know why and you need to put your anger in the correct place. Like tea said. It's OK to be not ok because everyone feels that way at times. If you think a friend of yours is not ok, reach out and tell them you are thinking of them. They might not open up to you but it's always nice to know someone is thinking of you Also _etcpl mentioned lego... that's a really good idea. " Your suitcase analogy is very similar to one that I used during therapy actually. You’re absolutely right though | |||
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"Actually I don't think it's ok not to be OK. It's OK not to be able to cope and to find yourself struggling, but it's not OK that MH services are so poorly funded and provisioned that millions of people are left stranded not being OK. As a life long MH service user I've had to fight and fight to get the therapy I needed to learn proper coping skills and finally have my depression and anxiety under control. Being fobbed off with ineffective 6 week courses time after time, being discharged whilst barely functioning because CMHT measure their success rates through patient discharge numbers only to have to go back a few months later because once the support is withdrawn there is nobody to help keep you afloat. Worthwhile help should be available BEFORE the suicide attempts, not after, but it simply isn't. This situation is far from OK. The state of MH provision is awful and this last year, it’s only gotten worse. I absolutely agree that far more should be done and could be done. In terms of the statement, yes it’s trite and it’s never ok to be ill, what the statement is about is normalising MH issues, that there’s no shame in having them. Does more need to be done? Absolutely. Is it right that people are treated as you were? No way. Is it wrong to have mental health issues? Absolutely not. " | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help " How do you mean? | |||
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"The thing I know about mental health and especially depression from my own experience, is that when help is especially needed it's almost impossible to ask for it. You don't want to be a burden on others and that demon in your head makes you really believe that everyone would be better off without having to worry about you. Of course when I say you, I really mean me. Its not enough to ask if someone is OK or to say 'let me know if you need anything' because they won't. They don't want to be a burden. You need to be proactive. That's my experience anyway. * I agree. It’s a specific trick of our minds in those times that the illness tells us that we don’t matter and no one cares when it does and they do. What active support do you recommend? Not trying to pressure you here, I’m wanting to know how to help * Having an active support network can help. Friends who arrange 'coffee dates' etc to get you out of the house. Phone calls and/or messages every day from friends who have empathy or suffer similarly. They don't have to be long, just 'you're still alive then?' works for me - I find having a sense of humour helps me enormously - until you can't see the funny side but then friends pick up on that. Exercise helps - it's the endorphins. Other activities create endorphins too. There are a lot of people who suffer with MH on the BDSM scene. Having something to plan towards and look forward to is essential. The thing with depression is that it removes the want to make plans for the future, or have dreams and aspirations. What's the point when you don't even know if you're going to be around at the end of the day? Distraction is good if you can manage it. On bad days I put my ear buds in and I distract myself with loud music - I'm listening to Psychosocial by Slipknot at the moment. I don't listen to the words, but I like the music. I write so I immerse myself in another world, live another life that isn't my own, where I can be anyone or anything. Escapism comes in many forms. In the town where I live, it's possible to self refer to see a psychologist but you need to see your GP first. Depression can be a symptom of something else so it's always worth having a chat about that. A lot of mine is exacerbated by having a B12 deficiency (pernicious anaemia) which knocks me for six from an energy/exhaustion point of view also and also having now as I get older, dwindling hormone levels haven't helped. HRT helped a lot (whilst i was taking it). Mindfulness helps. Being aware of my own mental health and learning as much as I can about what helps me. Learning to recognise the early stages of an episode help and being able to put counter measures into practise, even if it's just to alert a friend that you're having a bad day. Accepting that mental health illness doesn't define who or what I am. I'm a warrior. I'm a survivor. I am strong because I got up today. A small goal is still a big achievement when you manage to brush your hair. I'm concerned now that I'm waffling
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Not waffling at all!
Thank you for sharing that!
I’m so glad that you have that and know how to manage the dog when it comes.
Recognising, knowing and dealing is so much of the battle
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Talking about mental health from a personal perspective can be liberating. You never know, you might be that one person, who in recounting their experience, gives someone else light at the end of the tunnel (which isn't an oncoming train).
I learnt more about my own MH by reading about someone else's battles with their own mental health and recognising the same destructive pattern of behaviour in myself. I used to think I was the only one, but apparently not. MH isn't an exclusive club, it'll take anyone; rich, poor, old, young, the very strong, the very weak. It doesn't discriminate.
Thanks OP for highlighting MH in the forum "That’s why I wanted to post this. If others see it and it helps, then great | |||
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"Actually I don't think it's ok not to be OK. It's OK not to be able to cope and to find yourself struggling, but it's not OK that MH services are so poorly funded and provisioned that millions of people are left stranded not being OK. As a life long MH service user I've had to fight and fight to get the therapy I needed to learn proper coping skills and finally have my depression and anxiety under control. Being fobbed off with ineffective 6 week courses time after time, being discharged whilst barely functioning because CMHT measure their success rates through patient discharge numbers only to have to go back a few months later because once the support is withdrawn there is nobody to help keep you afloat. Worthwhile help should be available BEFORE the suicide attempts, not after, but it simply isn't. This situation is far from OK. The state of MH provision is awful and this last year, it’s only gotten worse. I absolutely agree that far more should be done and could be done. In terms of the statement, yes it’s trite and it’s never ok to be ill, what the statement is about is normalising MH issues, that there’s no shame in having them. Does more need to be done? Absolutely. Is it right that people are treated as you were? No way. Is it wrong to have mental health issues? Absolutely not. " I wasn't saying it was wrong or weak to have MH issues, quite the opposite. | |||
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"Actually I don't think it's ok not to be OK. It's OK not to be able to cope and to find yourself struggling, but it's not OK that MH services are so poorly funded and provisioned that millions of people are left stranded not being OK. As a life long MH service user I've had to fight and fight to get the therapy I needed to learn proper coping skills and finally have my depression and anxiety under control. Being fobbed off with ineffective 6 week courses time after time, being discharged whilst barely functioning because CMHT measure their success rates through patient discharge numbers only to have to go back a few months later because once the support is withdrawn there is nobody to help keep you afloat. Worthwhile help should be available BEFORE the suicide attempts, not after, but it simply isn't. This situation is far from OK. The state of MH provision is awful and this last year, it’s only gotten worse. I absolutely agree that far more should be done and could be done. In terms of the statement, yes it’s trite and it’s never ok to be ill, what the statement is about is normalising MH issues, that there’s no shame in having them. Does more need to be done? Absolutely. Is it right that people are treated as you were? No way. Is it wrong to have mental health issues? Absolutely not. I wasn't saying it was wrong or weak to have MH issues, quite the opposite." I know you weren’t. I’m just talking about the ‘it’s ok to not be ok’ line | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help How do you mean? " Quite simply it's not always easy to ask for help, for a multitude of reason | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help How do you mean? Quite simply it's not always easy to ask for help, for a multitude of reason " I agree | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help How do you mean? Quite simply it's not always easy to ask for help, for a multitude of reason I agree" I've found one of the biggest things that is in the way of asking for help, this is from a males point, is our instilled belief systems, as to how a man should behave. I was brought up in a military environment, so thoughts, feelings and emotions, were fir one not displayed, 2 most certainly spoken about...this one was very common cry n ill give u something to cry for. Which instills biefs that aren't even my own, but others, however, it dictated for a long time as to how I should display | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help How do you mean? Quite simply it's not always easy to ask for help, for a multitude of reason I agree I've found one of the biggest things that is in the way of asking for help, this is from a males point, is our instilled belief systems, as to how a man should behave. I was brought up in a military environment, so thoughts, feelings and emotions, were fir one not displayed, 2 most certainly spoken about...this one was very common cry n ill give u something to cry for. Which instills biefs that aren't even my own, but others, however, it dictated for a long time as to how I should display " From a womans point of view. Don't want to make a fuse,don't want to be classed as an attention seeker. Been an internalised. It takes more to be believed. | |||
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" I've found one of the biggest things that is in the way of asking for help, this is from a males point, is our instilled belief systems, as to how a man should behave. I was brought up in a military environment, so thoughts, feelings and emotions, were fir one not displayed, 2 most certainly spoken about...this one was very common cry n ill give u something to cry for. Which instills biefs that aren't even my own, but others, however, it dictated for a long time as to how I should display " That level of repression is one of the issues specifically for men in regards to speaking out, definitely. It’s just another hurdle for many to deal with | |||
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"As it’s mental health awareness week, I felt that this is an important thing to remember; it’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to not be in a good place mentally and this is all the more important after this last year or so. Remember that if you’re struggling, there are people to help, support and understand, the most important thing is to speak up. If anyone needs help, either post or PM. There’s no shame in struggling with mental health, the worst thing is trying to fight the black dog on your own We all need support in one form or another, having the voice to be heard is another thing, to ask for help How do you mean? Quite simply it's not always easy to ask for help, for a multitude of reason I agree I've found one of the biggest things that is in the way of asking for help, this is from a males point, is our instilled belief systems, as to how a man should behave. I was brought up in a military environment, so thoughts, feelings and emotions, were fir one not displayed, 2 most certainly spoken about...this one was very common cry n ill give u something to cry for. Which instills biefs that aren't even my own, but others, however, it dictated for a long time as to how I should display From a womans point of view. Don't want to make a fuse,don't want to be classed as an attention seeker. Been an internalised. It takes more to be believed." I can’t speak for a woman’s perspective on this but I would imagine that each gender have their own barriers | |||
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"The past year has been tough, not in a great place either, health issues and life have taken a toll. I am starting realise I'm in a deeper place than anticipated. Small steps" The smallest of steps will still get you where you need to go
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy " cause thats really helpful and what we all want to here. Your fortunate to live without mental health problems many arnt as fortunate | |||
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"I'm never ok, life sucks "My arms may not reach all the way round you but I'll give it a damn good go. Hugs! | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy " Grow a pair? Seriously? | |||
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"I'm never ok, life sucks
My arms may not reach all the way round you but I'll give it a damn good go. Hugs! "After reading this I’m thinking marriage ! to forward ? | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy " The fact that you’ve been through that and as you say are ok is great and a blessing. Mental health isn’t often about things going wrong and not being able to cope though, it’s not about weakness and it’s not about just pulling your socks up, growing a pair and dealing. Frankly your attitude towards mental health is exactly why there are weeks like this and a reason why I posted this thread; because people have completely the wrong attitude towards others illness and are ignorant of the daily struggle. It’s an illness or rather a large variation of illnesses, under one umbrella. You don’t suffer, that’s great but others do and your dismissive attitude is hurtful and potentially dangerous to others | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill" Please, stop with the vitriol. Do some research and take your vile attitude elsewhere | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy Grow a pair? Seriously?" You for real ? So what did you plan to achieve by that stupid one line of nonsense !? I’m intrigued? | |||
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"very weird week for me to be honest. my head is fully up my arse at the moment (I go through ups and downs like most people on this thread) and I'm currently in the deep trough of a down... I'm not a talker at all, so normally pull myself through with long pooch walks, good cooking, & a glass of wine watching hamilton more times than is healthy. the interesting thing this week is that my current head up arse phase has timed itself perfectly with mental health awareness week... all the talk of it in the media / at work / social media is just exacerbating how absolutely bob I feel at the mo. that sounds really selfish, I know it does... but thought it worth pointing out in case anyone feels the same "It’s not selfish to put your health first. If the attention and focus on it is having a negative effect, then maybe a bit of a blackout? I find that when I’m struggling, SM is too much energy for me to engage with. Take some time and focus on what you need | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill" This is the kind of attitude that stops those needing help from seeking it. You have no idea what anyone has or is going through. I could speak at length about this from my own experiences and those of my daughter who has very severe mental health issues. I won't however waste any more of my breath on such a vile individual as yourself. | |||
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"The past year has been tough, not in a great place either, health issues and life have taken a toll. I am starting realise I'm in a deeper place than anticipated. Small steps" It can creep up without knowing. The fact that you’re realising is something of a positive though. Do you have support or a way to manage how you’re feeling? | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill" It doesn’t matter if someone has it better/worse, their problems are valid. It’s very toxic to speak to someone like this, especially on a thread where people are sharing and being vulnerable. It doesn’t help in the slightest, and in fact can be very damaging | |||
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"I'm never ok, life sucks "I’m sorry to read that. Do you want to chat about it? | |||
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"The past year has been tough, not in a great place either, health issues and life have taken a toll. I am starting realise I'm in a deeper place than anticipated. Small steps The smallest of steps will still get you where you need to go
"Thank you | |||
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"The past year has been tough, not in a great place either, health issues and life have taken a toll. I am starting realise I'm in a deeper place than anticipated. Small steps It can creep up without knowing. The fact that you’re realising is something of a positive though. Do you have support or a way to manage how you’re feeling? " Not really, always dealt with things alone. Not very good in asking for or seeking support for myself. | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill" Interesting take, I don’t agree with the victim mentality, that’s how the survivor movement formed. People dealing with their shit and refusing to be called a victim. But it’s not a punitive route, it’s a route that is helped and encouraged It’s not an easy path to travel, and people fall and hopefully get up again. Your attitude is the kind of attitude that keeps them down when they fall. But I respect your opinion and your right to share it. Me, I’d rather listen to a person hurting, than tell them to “man up,” because then they wouldn’t be the kind of man I respect! | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill It doesn’t matter if someone has it better/worse, their problems are valid. It’s very toxic to speak to someone like this, especially on a thread where people are sharing and being vulnerable. It doesn’t help in the slightest, and in fact can be very damaging "Exactly this! Kudos! | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy " If that's worked for you, great! It won't work for many others and having someone to talk to who is removed from the situation, won't give you a biased opinion and will willingly listen to you is invaluable to many. Telling people to 'grow a pair' and 'man up' are the very kind of phrases that stop people opening up if they can't cope. Just because you can, doesn't mean everyone can. You're forgetting one vital thing, everyone is different and copes differently | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy The fact that you’ve been through that and as you say are ok is great and a blessing. Mental health isn’t often about things going wrong and not being able to cope though, it’s not about weakness and it’s not about just pulling your socks up, growing a pair and dealing. Frankly your attitude towards mental health is exactly why there are weeks like this and a reason why I posted this thread; because people have completely the wrong attitude towards others illness and are ignorant of the daily struggle. It’s an illness or rather a large variation of illnesses, under one umbrella. You don’t suffer, that’s great but others do and your dismissive attitude is hurtful and potentially dangerous to others" i didnt mean to offend, i was just saying that it is possablw to make it on your own, those that cant i hope they get the help they need, but doing it on your own is tge biggest boost you can have | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill" Yeah you sound like a proper lad good for you mate ! But unlike you Not everyone can be a hard fucker the way you like to portray yourself ! Ha Look people are on here looking for genuine advice not to hear about ur poor childhood and how hard you reckon you are ! Sorry mate your a clown and you need to take a shut the fuck up pill and keep your ridiculous comments else where ! | |||
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"At the moment I feel as though am barley hang on to the edge, but hang on I do. It's slow but am trying to keep a smile on my face " Sometimes hanging on is the best you can do. I hope things pick up for you | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy The fact that you’ve been through that and as you say are ok is great and a blessing. Mental health isn’t often about things going wrong and not being able to cope though, it’s not about weakness and it’s not about just pulling your socks up, growing a pair and dealing. Frankly your attitude towards mental health is exactly why there are weeks like this and a reason why I posted this thread; because people have completely the wrong attitude towards others illness and are ignorant of the daily struggle. It’s an illness or rather a large variation of illnesses, under one umbrella. You don’t suffer, that’s great but others do and your dismissive attitude is hurtful and potentially dangerous to others i didnt mean to offend, i was just saying that it is possablw to make it on your own, those that cant i hope they get the help they need, but doing it on your own is tge biggest boost you can have" But phrases like ‘grow a pair’ and ‘man up’ are very toxic. Completely invalidating someone else’s issues because others ‘have it worse’ is damaging. Everyone’s emotions are valid and important, and should be treated as such, not just dismissed because someone else had a hard time. | |||
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" Telling people to 'grow a pair' and 'man up' are the very kind of phrases that stop people opening up if they can't cope. " Agreed. Also why the gendered language? Men are allowed to struggle too and there's nothing unmanly about it. | |||
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" Telling people to 'grow a pair' and 'man up' are the very kind of phrases that stop people opening up if they can't cope. Agreed. Also why the gendered language? Men are allowed to struggle too and there's nothing unmanly about it. " | |||
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" But phrases like ‘grow a pair’ and ‘man up’ are very toxic. Completely invalidating someone else’s issues because others ‘have it worse’ is damaging. Everyone’s emotions are valid and important, and should be treated as such, not just dismissed because someone else had a hard time. " I'd agree with this... it took me a while to realise but its mindsets like that why I couldn't chat through what I've got going on with work / mates / relatives. I think, as a bloke, there is always a bit in the back of your mind that says even if somebody seems interested and wants to help, the expectation is to 'man up and crack on'. I'm sure that isn't the case, but when you're feeling a bit shit anyway its hard to think of it any other way! | |||
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"I have struggled in the past… and there have been times in the last 17 months where I have felt really low as I had to shield at the beginning and didn’t have equipment to work from home… so First 4 months of just getting up and doing nothing was just hard! When I got the equipment in I got back some structure and routine in my life and feeling I could help people again helped me no end I am lucky where I have people I can talk to… nothing is gained by bottling it up…. " I’m glad you had people to talk to, it makes a huge difference doesn’t it. | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill Yeah you sound like a proper lad good for you mate ! But unlike you Not everyone can be a hard fucker the way you like to portray yourself ! Ha Look people are on here looking for genuine advice not to hear about ur poor childhood and how hard you reckon you are ! Sorry mate your a clown and you need to take a shut the fuck up pill and keep your ridiculous comments else where ! "wow read the post before comentiming, yes i have had a hard life, and im proud of what ive made of myself, my point remains tho if you need help then taje it, if you dont then dont, im sorry i didnt realise this forum was for the hard of thinking | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill Yeah you sound like a proper lad good for you mate ! But unlike you Not everyone can be a hard fucker the way you like to portray yourself ! Ha Look people are on here looking for genuine advice not to hear about ur poor childhood and how hard you reckon you are ! Sorry mate your a clown and you need to take a shut the fuck up pill and keep your ridiculous comments else where ! wow read the post before comentiming, yes i have had a hard life, and im proud of what ive made of myself, my point remains tho if you need help then taje it, if you dont then dont, im sorry i didnt realise this forum was for the hard of thinking"Good one mate I see what you did there I’m cracking up ! anyway I’m not wasting my time debating how much of a dick head you came across in that message everyone can see it I’m glad your proud you made something of ur life so you should share that positivity to someone that is obviously reaching out for it ! Instead of coming across like a dence bully ! You should use ur positive story for good not to put people down ! | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill Yeah you sound like a proper lad good for you mate ! But unlike you Not everyone can be a hard fucker the way you like to portray yourself ! Ha Look people are on here looking for genuine advice not to hear about ur poor childhood and how hard you reckon you are ! Sorry mate your a clown and you need to take a shut the fuck up pill and keep your ridiculous comments else where ! wow read the post before comentiming, yes i have had a hard life, and im proud of what ive made of myself, my point remains tho if you need help then taje it, if you dont then dont, im sorry i didnt realise this forum was for the hard of thinking
Good one mate I see what you did there I’m cracking up !
anyway I’m not wasting my time debating how much of a dick head you came across in that message everyone can see it
I’m glad your proud you made something of ur life
so you should share that positivity to someone that is obviously reaching out for it !
Instead of coming across like a dence bully ! You should use ur positive story for good not to put people down !
"wow point verified | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill" Take a "MAN UP PILL" wtf can you hear yourself, it's archaic and outdated attitudes such as " MAN UP", that stops ppl talking about there feelings, yrs I said feelings. Your belief systems as to how a man should be, is skewed and extremely misaligned, with today's modern society. Not to mention as toxic and detrimental to fuck, throw away comments such as 'MAN UP" Cause more harm than good | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill Take a "MAN UP PILL" wtf can you hear yourself, it's archaic and outdated attitudes such as " MAN UP", that stops ppl talking about there feelings, yrs I said feelings. Your belief systems as to how a man should be, is skewed and extremely misaligned, with today's modern society. Not to mention as toxic and detrimental to fuck, throw away comments such as 'MAN UP" Cause more harm than good " You tell him!! | |||
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"ok take a gender free pill, dose that make the pain go away" Let's hope you never and I mean truly need a gender free pill | |||
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"and but that i take it men arent alowd to be men anymore!!!!!" Thats bollocks | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy " A pair of what? I'm glad you are happy and what you do has worked for you. I'm saddened that you feel the need to shame people on some sort of scale of what you consider the worst to be. You can't know what any of the rest of us have been through, survived or are living through now. There's a Rugby player on telly tomorrow, Joe Marler, talking about his mental ill health. It's Sky Arts and Now TV, Big Boys Don't Cry. I think he has 'grown a pair' admitting he needed help. | |||
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"and but that i take it men arent alowd to be men anymore!!!!!" So serous question for you! Because I sit and talk about my feelings and emotions with other men, does thst make me any less of a man than you?? | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy A pair of what? I'm glad you are happy and what you do has worked for you. I'm saddened that you feel the need to shame people on some sort of scale of what you consider the worst to be. You can't know what any of the rest of us have been through, survived or are living through now. There's a Rugby player on telly tomorrow, Joe Marler, talking about his mental ill health. It's Sky Arts and Now TV, Big Boys Don't Cry. I think he has 'grown a pair' admitting he needed help.im not shaming anybody, i never said that, god the interned hardmen are out tonight, read what i said and rply , thats fine, but dont read between the lines and make up stuff, anyway im out, this is only going to go one way and i dont want a forum ban " | |||
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"ive been through many problems in life, discovering my parents wernt my perents, and otherthings, in care homes most of my life, i can tell stories that would make you cry, never had the need for a shrink, not sure i ever will, i got a mtfu pill, and thants worked fine, im sure many would say im repressind things, and yes i maybe, but i live fine withount talking to a stranger, we all have problems to get over, its part of living, so greow a pair, trust me ive been throug worse, and im still happy A pair of what? I'm glad you are happy and what you do has worked for you. I'm saddened that you feel the need to shame people on some sort of scale of what you consider the worst to be. You can't know what any of the rest of us have been through, survived or are living through now. There's a Rugby player on telly tomorrow, Joe Marler, talking about his mental ill health. It's Sky Arts and Now TV, Big Boys Don't Cry. I think he has 'grown a pair' admitting he needed help.im not shaming anybody, i never said that, god the interned hardmen are out tonight, read what i said and rply , thats fine, but dont read between the lines and make up stuff, anyway im out, this is only going to go one way and i dont want a forum ban " Stand in your truth you said ppl need to grow a pair of bollocks, wheres the message in-between the lines in that | |||
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"yes seriously, it doesnt matter if you are a women or a man, bad stuff happens to us all , live with it and move on, its apart of whan makes you, trust me you dont want to have live my life as a child, but have i let it change me, maybe, but ive moved on, i hate the socioty we are now, anyone with a problem is a victon, so shut up and take a man up pill Interesting take, I don’t agree with the victim mentality, that’s how the survivor movement formed. People dealing with their shit and refusing to be called a victim. But it’s not a punitive route, it’s a route that is helped and encouraged It’s not an easy path to travel, and people fall and hopefully get up again. Your attitude is the kind of attitude that keeps them down when they fall. But I respect your opinion and your right to share it. Me, I’d rather listen to a person hurting, than tell them to “man up,” because then they wouldn’t be the kind of man I respect! " thank you some one gets my view, just to add ive held a friend as he cried into my arms after stabing himself, he dies in my armes too, so i do understand mental heath issues | |||
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"You are what you are. Anyone who.dosnt want you warts and all ain't worth it" It’s horrible, makes you beleive there are issues there that aren’t there!! It’s absolutely vile I’m always here to listen to anyone! 3 people I know have committed suicide this year!! Don’t become another stat reach out!! | |||
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"When nobody is reaching for attention and trying to be witty or smart these threads can be such a good platform to get genuine advice ! Good shout OP the most important thread I’ve seen here in a long time ". I tried to send you a private message but am unable to get past your filter. Therefore, I’ll make a brief comment here. You’re very vocal in your support for mental health and this thread. I applaud you. However, it’s rather unsettling that you dismiss and are somewhat disparaging of the threads that “reach for attention” and the people who participate in them. Apart from the fact that this site is for that purpose, some people use them as therapy to feel uplifted. I shan’t waffle on about it. I believe you have the emotional intelligence to reflect on it and understand my point, regardless of your opinion on it. Once again, I apologise for bringing this up in public. | |||
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"When nobody is reaching for attention and trying to be witty or smart these threads can be such a good platform to get genuine advice ! Good shout OP the most important thread I’ve seen here in a long time
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I tried to send you a private message but am unable to get past your filter. Therefore, I’ll make a brief comment here.
You’re very vocal in your support for mental health and this thread. I applaud you.
However, it’s rather unsettling that you dismiss and are somewhat disparaging of the threads that “reach for attention” and the people who participate in them.
Apart from the fact that this site is for that purpose, some people use them as therapy to feel uplifted.
I shan’t waffle on about it. I believe you have the emotional intelligence to reflect on it and understand my point, regardless of your opinion on it.
Once again, I apologise for bringing this up in public."All good mate | |||
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"Once again, thank you to those that posted personal experiences on here and with one exception, I think that it was a positive thread. I did try to respond supportively to everyone who posted either on the thread or on PM but it’s hard via text to convey subtlety. I’m hoping that others who read this thread know that you’re not on your own, that there is support out there, in a very real and practical sense, please reach out if you need it to your GP, the Samaritans, mental health services, friends, family or even random folks on here. As the one poster showed, we do still need to making mental health issues a topic of conversation, to normalise them, to break the stigma and to dispel the myth that just because it’s your emotions, it’s just about shrugging it off. You can’t walk off a broken leg, so why tell someone to shrug off a mental illness? Please remember to be gentle with yourselves folks" | |||
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"Once again, thank you to those that posted personal experiences on here and with one exception, I think that it was a positive thread. I did try to respond supportively to everyone who posted either on the thread or on PM but it’s hard via text to convey subtlety. I’m hoping that others who read this thread know that you’re not on your own, that there is support out there, in a very real and practical sense, please reach out if you need it to your GP, the Samaritans, mental health services, friends, family or even random folks on here. As the one poster showed, we do still need to making mental health issues a topic of conversation, to normalise them, to break the stigma and to dispel the myth that just because it’s your emotions, it’s just about shrugging it off. You can’t walk off a broken leg, so why tell someone to shrug off a mental illness? Please remember to be gentle with yourselves folks" Absolutely. I feel there's no one true path to healing, but that also means that we should allow space for others to heal in the way that they need. | |||
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