Here is a little question.
If you fancy someone, either just sexually or romantically. In person or online... Do you let them know?
If you do, how do you personally deal with rejection when or if it comes?
Just curious..
I myself don't tend to say anything in fear of rejection (and I have been rejected a lot). |
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Online I am happy to tell someone, whether they fancy me or not. Great if they reciprocate but even if they don't, who doesn't like to hear someone fancies them?
In person I'm far more circumspect. |
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Online I'm a master at handling rejection so I tell them come what may.
In person  I don't cope with rejection well so I tend to wait and gauge their attitude towards me ... and have a meltdown if I got it wrong  |
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Not saying anyone is horrible for doing so or they have done wrong just to clear that beforehand...
Usually online I get ignored in messages, a form of rejection.
And face to face I used to get laughed at, or ignored, or a multitude of other forms of rejection.. More often not as pleasant as others.
I know I'm not the most attractive guy to the 'general' woman.
Im not either: young, six pack, tall etc or: doing th dad bod thing.. I'm a short ass, skinny, pale guy with not muscular definition.
That's why I don't bother most of the time. |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"Not saying anyone is horrible for doing so or they have done wrong just to clear that beforehand...
Usually online I get ignored in messages, a form of rejection.
And face to face I used to get laughed at, or ignored, or a multitude of other forms of rejection.. More often not as pleasant as others.
I know I'm not the most attractive guy to the 'general' woman.
Im not either: young, six pack, tall etc or: doing th dad bod thing.. I'm a short ass, skinny, pale guy with not muscular definition.
That's why I don't bother most of the time. "
listen my friend, I'm no oil painting, but the last time I was on fab, I ended up in a 4 year relationship with someone 20 years my younger, it can and does happen |
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"Not saying anyone is horrible for doing so or they have done wrong just to clear that beforehand...
Usually online I get ignored in messages, a form of rejection.
And face to face I used to get laughed at, or ignored, or a multitude of other forms of rejection.. More often not as pleasant as others.
I know I'm not the most attractive guy to the 'general' woman.
Im not either: young, six pack, tall etc or: doing th dad bod thing.. I'm a short ass, skinny, pale guy with not muscular definition.
That's why I don't bother most of the time. "
When it comes to looks I'm a solid 3. I take my fair share of rejection.
If only 1% of the guys I fancy reciprocate then I need to message 100 fanciable blokes to find a match. 99 rejections, 1 match. If I don't shoot my shot then I'm never going to get to that 1 match. Ultimately a 1% chance from trying is better than no chance at all. |
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"Not saying anyone is horrible for doing so or they have done wrong just to clear that beforehand...
Usually online I get ignored in messages, a form of rejection.
And face to face I used to get laughed at, or ignored, or a multitude of other forms of rejection.. More often not as pleasant as others.
I know I'm not the most attractive guy to the 'general' woman.
Im not either: young, six pack, tall etc or: doing th dad bod thing.. I'm a short ass, skinny, pale guy with not muscular definition.
That's why I don't bother most of the time.
When it comes to looks I'm a solid 3. I take my fair share of rejection.
If only 1% of the guys I fancy reciprocate then I need to message 100 fanciable blokes to find a match. 99 rejections, 1 match. If I don't shoot my shot then I'm never going to get to that 1 match. Ultimately a 1% chance from trying is better than no chance at all."
Fair enough. I have the confidence to chat to those I fancy, just usually very apprehensive telling them that I fancy them.. Lol |
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"Not saying anyone is horrible for doing so or they have done wrong just to clear that beforehand...
Usually online I get ignored in messages, a form of rejection.
And face to face I used to get laughed at, or ignored, or a multitude of other forms of rejection.. More often not as pleasant as others.
I know I'm not the most attractive guy to the 'general' woman.
Im not either: young, six pack, tall etc or: doing th dad bod thing.. I'm a short ass, skinny, pale guy with not muscular definition.
That's why I don't bother most of the time. listen my friend, I'm no oil painting, but the last time I was on fab, I ended up in a 4 year relationship with someone 20 years my younger, it can and does happen "
I'm no oil painting either
More of an oil slick, in fact  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not saying anyone is horrible for doing so or they have done wrong just to clear that beforehand...
Usually online I get ignored in messages, a form of rejection.
And face to face I used to get laughed at, or ignored, or a multitude of other forms of rejection.. More often not as pleasant as others.
I know I'm not the most attractive guy to the 'general' woman.
Im not either: young, six pack, tall etc or: doing th dad bod thing.. I'm a short ass, skinny, pale guy with not muscular definition.
That's why I don't bother most of the time. listen my friend, I'm no oil painting, but the last time I was on fab, I ended up in a 4 year relationship with someone 20 years my younger, it can and does happen
I'm no oil painting either
More of an oil slick, in fact "
Ditto here as well.
But since I joined here I have told people that I fancy them and to be honest most of the times it hasn't worked out how I had planned / hoped it would have done, but, most of the time we still do PM and chat about stuff in general and once or twice it has worked out for the better though.. 
Just lately in life I have come to the conclusion that as, have others have said in this thread.. and that is what the hell have you got to lose? Life is waaay to short to sit on your arse and what wonder if.. later on in life   |
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Being a single submissive male I get ignored a lot even though I send thoughtful and always respectful messages. I dont have a problem telling a Lady she is pretty online. But in real life I am a wuss ?????????? |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I do let people know. I generally feel that if they don’t know, then nothing will ever happen.
If it works out; then great, if not; then I drop it in the fucket bucket, lick my wounds and move on.
It’s probably easier to accept rejection at the outset than later along the lines |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Online I'm a master at handling rejection so I tell them come what may.
In person I don't cope with rejection well so I tend to wait and gauge their attitude towards me ... and have a meltdown if I got it wrong "
^^this |
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That'll teach me to keep quiet 