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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Question for women. If you are arranging a date / social only with a new guy on here with some distance involved and he offers to book somewhere to stay , with no strings, just for practical reasons and to spend more time together , does it put you off? Do you assume it’s because they will try and have sex. Is that your actual experience ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not in my experience, but when I travel a long distance and choose to stay over then I book the hotel for me ... so it's never an issue! "
My experience also |
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If I’m doing the travelling I normally book my own place so wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t find it strange if they did either. Just be clear in your communication that it is no strings attached, we are adults can make our own choices and also manage to be in a hotel room without getting naked |
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By *rHotNotts OP Man
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"If I’m doing the travelling I normally book my own place so wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t find it strange if they did either. Just be clear in your communication that it is no strings attached, we are adults can make our own choices and also manage to be in a hotel room without getting naked "
 I know that , some women think men are incapable of that !!!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If i was to travel i’d book my own hotel. A bloke booking the hotel for me would unnerve me a bit. I suppose as someone said you just have to be clear about what will and wont happen. |
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"If I’m doing the travelling I normally book my own place so wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t find it strange if they did either. Just be clear in your communication that it is no strings attached, we are adults can make our own choices and also manage to be in a hotel room without getting naked
I know that , some women think men are incapable of that !!!! "
Could be past experiences controlling that though, so an element of trust they’d need to feel to believe others that say differently. |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"We have guys offering to travel a long way to meet us for a social saying they will get a hotel. We never accept their offer because it would feel awkward to us if we declined a further meet."
Same |
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If its just for him to stay in so he doesn't have to travel back/can have a couple of drinks then that's fine. Though if at any point I felt I was being pressured to go back to it with him or I ended up guilt tripped about him "wasting money on a hotel" when it was very clearly just intended to be a social, I'd be off and he'd be blocked in a heartbeat. |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
I have done this in the past, travelled a fair distance, booked my own hotel and then met elsewhere. Only once has it ended in my meet asking where I was staying, which for a social, I didn't expect |
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It would put me off. For someone travelling a long way just to meet me and no other plans I would assume they would want more than a chat.
I feel clear communication is a must, and respect any boundaries! |
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"It would put me off. For someone travelling a long way just to meet me and no other plans I would assume they would want more than a chat.
I feel clear communication is a must, and respect any boundaries!"
Me too. I do not want anyone traveling for hours to meet me for a social - as I'd feel pressured. I'm constantly telling people this to be told, they don't mind.
But I do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might put me off a bit but if I have said it's a social only, it always means sex is not going to happen, so whatever he chooses to do with the time he won't be on our social, is up to him and doesn't concern me too much... If he had booked a room trying to get laid tho, I would find it fairly amusing, knowing he wouldn't be sharing it with me... But I find amusement in very strange places  |
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If I am that invested in wanting to travel a long way to meet him for a social then I would want him to have a hotel room available.
If I had any thought of it heading for the friend zone I'd would have already prebooked my own hotel so I had somewhere to go |
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I usually meet people from quite far away, I always book a hotel room, in Exeter, it comes with a caveat. I will not drink alcohol on any meeting until they have indicated we are likely to spend the night together. That way I can drive home if it’s going to be a no or we just don’t click.
I have an account with a rather nice little hotel and settle up the bill either way. When I stay in my Cornwall place there are a number of spare bedrooms each one of them can be locked from within, so if someone comes over for dinner and we don’t click, they can stay and if they are nervous, they have some security.
I think the onus is always on the single guy in these situations to create the safest environment they can and give their potential partner lots of options to reduce pressure. This doesn’t eliminate the need for a woman to be extremely careful who she meets (as with all of us really), but hopefully reduces the some of the pitfalls |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would put me off in honesty. I would only do a social first on neutral grounds. I like to leave a social and make my mind up about someone in my own time.
If they're staying in a hotel I'd rather they didn't tell me till after I'd left the social. Its in them if they want to do it but I'd rather not know. |
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"I usually meet people from quite far away, I always book a hotel room, in Exeter, it comes with a caveat. I will not drink alcohol on any meeting until they have indicated we are likely to spend the night together. That way I can drive home if it’s going to be a no or we just don’t click.
I have an account with a rather nice little hotel and settle up the bill either way. When I stay in my Cornwall place there are a number of spare bedrooms each one of them can be locked from within, so if someone comes over for dinner and we don’t click, they can stay and if they are nervous, they have some security.
I think the onus is always on the single guy in these situations to create the safest environment they can and give their potential partner lots of options to reduce pressure. This doesn’t eliminate the need for a woman to be extremely careful who she meets (as with all of us really), but hopefully reduces the some of the pitfalls "
Why would it be down to the guy to create a safe environment? If I go to meet a guy its down to me to take any precautions and steps to make sure I'm safe. My safety is my responsibility no one else's. |
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