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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I’m in work with minimal stimulus, a very dull job to do and little to do once it’s completed.
If you were here, how would you entertain me?
In the spirit of Caligula, I will be judging you on your efforts... |
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I would fast order some Greggs vegan sausage rolls whilst simultaneously shooting ping pong balls from my fanwah into and using my left hand to make you a brew....... obvs i'd have a chip in my brain operated by your thoughts that projected through my eyes and on to a massive wall......
Finally i'd put the Greggs bags in the bin and give you tissues to wipe your greasy fingers on ..... |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Email Russian Roulette. Compose a rude and ranty message to your boss then flip a coin to see if you press send or not. Repeat for all your colleagues.  "
Oooh! Career suicide!
I’m not going to do it but I like it!
Consider me amused |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I would fast order some Greggs vegan sausage rolls whilst simultaneously shooting ping pong balls from my fanwah into and using my left hand to make you a brew....... obvs i'd have a chip in my brain operated by your thoughts that projected through my eyes and on to a massive wall......
Finally i'd put the Greggs bags in the bin and give you tissues to wipe your greasy fingers on ..... "
You’ve clearly thought this through Granny.
I’m not entertained, mainly because vegan sausage rolls are an oxymoron and the work of the devil, but I’m definitely impressed.
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South |
"A paper clip skipping rope. Hours of fun and an easy way to actually find a paper lip when you need one.
There are no paper clips.
Think fast or it’s the lions for you"
I’d get as many pens together as I could find, cello tape them together and see if I could reach the kettle to switch it on from wherever you’re sat (I’m assuming it’s an office based job but the lack of paper clips concerns me!) |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"A paper clip skipping rope. Hours of fun and an easy way to actually find a paper lip when you need one.
There are no paper clips.
Think fast or it’s the lions for you
I’d get as many pens together as I could find, cello tape them together and see if I could reach the kettle to switch it on from wherever you’re sat (I’m assuming it’s an office based job but the lack of paper clips concerns me!)"
It’s actually not but your new plan amuses me, especially as the kettle is several fire doors away and I’d love to see you trying to build something long and sturdy enough.
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Learn to juggle, if you can’t already, with the 3 items nearest to hand.
If you can juggle, set fire to one of them.
Mr. "
I can juggle but the fact that you expect me to set fires and potentially burn myself in work is crazy!
It’s the tarpean rock for you mr!
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