FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Would u reply
Would u reply
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends on the message, if it’s polite then I would reply no thank you, otherwise it’s an instant delete"
Yeah that’s fair enough tho. If i had the message it would be the same for me as to me replying or not |
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No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes. "
Do u not reply to anyone at all now then ? |
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes. "
I’ll add to that, if its someone i recognise from the forums or from a thread then I will always reply. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes.
I’ll add to that, if its someone i recognise from the forums or from a thread then I will always reply. "
Well that’s fair enough cos from the forums u kinda get to know them a little bit |
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes.
Do u not reply to anyone at all now then ? "
Sometimes. To be honest I usually just come on the forums and don’t even look at messages. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes.
Do u not reply to anyone at all now then ?
Sometimes. To be honest I usually just come on the forums and don’t even look at messages. "
Ahhh I see
That’s fair enough tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply, but I only get a few messages a week.
I don't expect women or couples to reply if I'm not their type, they get far too many messages for that (at least most do) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to when i first started on fab, i would try and reply to every message. As I kinda felt bad if i didnt, Not so much now as i just really cant be bothered but i kinda feel horrible about it.
I know for me sometimes I can be genuinely scared sending a message to somone and it can be kinda shitty feeling not getting a reply but I hold no grudges because i understand people just dont have time in the day to answer every message
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes. "
I have turned down/not replied ect ect quite a few people on this site and fabguys and can say I dont think I have ever had any abuse from anyone, which i find it bit strange because of the amount of women that have said they have. Maybe im just lucky |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
Really depends on the message, we had something like this the other day that just weren’t looking for the same things at all but they had clearly taken time on the message so we replied. Let them know straight away we were looking for different things however we still seem to get on socially, they are local and it’s likely we will bump into them at a social at some point x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
Really depends on the message, we had something like this the other day that just weren’t looking for the same things at all but they had clearly taken time on the message so we replied. Let them know straight away we were looking for different things however we still seem to get on socially, they are local and it’s likely we will bump into them at a social at some point x"
.
Well that’s quite a positive outcome.  |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
Really depends on the message, we had something like this the other day that just weren’t looking for the same things at all but they had clearly taken time on the message so we replied. Let them know straight away we were looking for different things however we still seem to get on socially, they are local and it’s likely we will bump into them at a social at some point x.
Well that’s quite a positive outcome. "
We have had the polar opposite of this as well though yesterday with someone being a dick, said sorry no thank you and got a polite message back but then another within minutes trying to argue a meet so we refused again politely but got the whole “your loss” crappy message  some people really don’t get it lol x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
Really depends on the message, we had something like this the other day that just weren’t looking for the same things at all but they had clearly taken time on the message so we replied. Let them know straight away we were looking for different things however we still seem to get on socially, they are local and it’s likely we will bump into them at a social at some point x.
Well that’s quite a positive outcome.
We have had the polar opposite of this as well though yesterday with someone being a dick, said sorry no thank you and got a polite message back but then another within minutes trying to argue a meet so we refused again politely but got the whole “your loss” crappy message some people really don’t get it lol x"
Some people are really bad with rejection lol. I’m used to it so say a polite thank u in return |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks "
And what makes u have that assumption? |
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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago
Glasgow |
"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes.
I have turned down/not replied ect ect quite a few people on this site and fabguys and can say I dont think I have ever had any abuse from anyone, which i find it bit strange because of the amount of women that have said they have. Maybe im just lucky"
May that continue. And good to hear. |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks
And what makes u have that assumption? "
Because men don't get hundreds of messages, are you honestly saying that you've had so many messages in the few weeks that you've been on here that you can't possibly take 5 minutes to reply ?
You'll be the first man on fab if that's the case |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always reply , but I'm.not dealing with 1000 messages everyday . Using the filters to stop folks from messaging you makes it's easier to manage , but even a deleted message to me is a polite no . But a read and no reply or delete just a bit shit for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks
And what makes u have that assumption?
Because men don't get hundreds of messages, are you honestly saying that you've had so many messages in the few weeks that you've been on here that you can't possibly take 5 minutes to reply ?
You'll be the first man on fab if that's the case"
I never said I am did I ?
It’s just a topic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to reply...but I've stopped because some peeps see any reply as encouragement...I'd never ever say `No Thank You`... I word it differently... `I`m not meeting at the min but thanks` is & was the best approach for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to reply...but I've stopped because some peeps see any reply as encouragement...I'd never ever say `No Thank You`... I word it differently... `I`m not meeting at the min but thanks` is & was the best approach for me"
U must get a lot of messages. I’ve just had a browse and have to say very very pleasant browse it was  |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
I almost 100% of the time reply to a message but often ignore winks and always ignore friend requests from people who haven’t chatted to me or I don’t consider existing friends. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I ignore and delete
Got fed up of replying saying no thank you to receive abuse or more messages trying to convince me to chat/meet"
The downside of good looks |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I almost 100% of the time reply to a message but often ignore winks and always ignore friend requests from people who haven’t chatted to me or I don’t consider existing friends. "
That’s fair enough tho. It’s not often someone will reply to everyone |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks
And what makes u have that assumption?
Because men don't get hundreds of messages, are you honestly saying that you've had so many messages in the few weeks that you've been on here that you can't possibly take 5 minutes to reply ?
You'll be the first man on fab if that's the case
I never said I am did I ?
It’s just a topic "
You posted a topic, I suggested that you reply because you would have the time because you wouldn't get that many messages.
You asked the question, "What makes me have that assumption" ?
And all I did was answer your question giving you the reasons behind my assumption.
It's not personal against you it's just my honest opinion.
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
With respect OP.
If you was a bi guy and happened to message me i would consider a reply depending on the message itself. So if you yourself messaged me i would not reply for the following reasons.
I don't like text chat like..
Ur
U
Cos
Thats just my judgement.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
With respect OP.
If you was a bi guy and happened to message me i would consider a reply depending on the message itself. So if you yourself messaged me i would not reply for the following reasons.
I don't like text chat like..
Ur
U
Cos
Thats just my judgement
"
Everyone has their preferences.
I have dyslexia so I struggle with the right uses of your you’re etc hence why I use that for of chat.
But ur honesty is welcome |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks
And what makes u have that assumption?
Because men don't get hundreds of messages, are you honestly saying that you've had so many messages in the few weeks that you've been on here that you can't possibly take 5 minutes to reply ?
You'll be the first man on fab if that's the case
I never said I am did I ?
It’s just a topic
You posted a topic, I suggested that you reply because you would have the time because you wouldn't get that many messages.
You asked the question, "What makes me have that assumption" ?
And all I did was answer your question giving you the reasons behind my assumption.
It's not personal against you it's just my honest opinion.
"
I never said I was being personal I was just checking why ur assumption was made that’s all |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
I doubt you're in the situation where you get to many messages to reply to like fab women do so try to do a thanks but no thanks
And what makes u have that assumption?
Because men don't get hundreds of messages, are you honestly saying that you've had so many messages in the few weeks that you've been on here that you can't possibly take 5 minutes to reply ?
You'll be the first man on fab if that's the case
I never said I am did I ?
It’s just a topic
You posted a topic, I suggested that you reply because you would have the time because you wouldn't get that many messages.
You asked the question, "What makes me have that assumption" ?
And all I did was answer your question giving you the reasons behind my assumption.
It's not personal against you it's just my honest opinion.
I never said I was being personal I was just checking why ur assumption was made that’s all "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reply to all messages for two reasons
1. If someone had taken the time to message you it always deserves a reply
2. The volume of messages I receive are more than manageable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone sends me a nicely written and polite message I will reply. If I'm not interested I'll say No Thanks.
Could I send you a nice message please lol?"
Chancer  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone sends me a nicely written and polite message I will reply. If I'm not interested I'll say No Thanks.
Could I send you a nice message please lol?
Chancer "
Can’t blame a man for trying  |
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"If someone sends me a nicely written and polite message I will reply. If I'm not interested I'll say No Thanks.
Could I send you a nice message please lol?
Chancer
Can’t blame a man for trying "
Hehe! Don’t ask don’t get lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sends me a nicely written and polite message I will reply. If I'm not interested I'll say No Thanks.
Could I send you a nice message please lol?
Chancer
Can’t blame a man for trying "
I like ur style mate lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if the person wasn’t my type, if the message required a response, I would respond if it was polite. If the message was just commenting on a pic I posted and nothing more, then no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to reply to all my messages, but I don’t any more, for various reasons.
My filters are at full power, but men I’ve replied to can still message me, as once you’ve replied it permits a loophole in the filters.
When filters are lifted, it’s for these reasons.
I am here for the forum, and honestly it’s my time to use as I see fit, and I prioritise myself over random strangers.
I don’t want the abuse.
Site rules.
I choose not to, unless I want to.
It’s hard sometimes, as my ‘nice girl’ side tries to make me, but I’m working on that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they’ve made the effort to read my profile and compose a well thought out message then yes, but then my inbox isn’t exactly straining under the weight lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ?
Really depends on the message, we had something like this the other day that just weren’t looking for the same things at all but they had clearly taken time on the message so we replied. Let them know straight away we were looking for different things however we still seem to get on socially, they are local and it’s likely we will bump into them at a social at some point x"
This happens to me quite often too. There's a lot of decent people on here. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
No I don’t always reply, if I’m not interested I delete the message
On the occasion where I have replied it’s usually met with abuse or a message looking for me to justify my tastes
Your never going to be everyone’s cup of tea and even the ‘not interested’ response can spark some sort of need for the person to continue messaging under the false hope that you will change your mind.
I’m not rude, I just know what appeals to me x
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Personal opinion is put simply and manners and common decency doesn't cost a thing (and yes it goes both ways). I would (if I had any to respond to) reply with a polite no thanks, any reply to that would be ignored/deleted unless I deemed it worthy. |
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Depends on the message
Just a hi and attaching a cock pic or one liner. Blank avatar, no profile. Something rude or vulgar (dick pic or message). Meet now / in your area today - delete
If the message is polite or from a continued conversation then we reply.
You aren’t asking for that mail to come through. So people shouldn’t be so hung up on whether it gets deleted or not. A message is the equivalent to that pizza flyer that comes in your door...sometimes you are hungry and respond to it and sometimes it gets thrown in the bin without thought
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes niceness can be seen as weakness I guess , but only really to.those who don't matter, always nice to be nice too"
Yes, it is, but sometimes you have to choose to be nice to yourself, instead of a random human on the net. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will reply if its worth repying to. A hi how are you or what you up to message gets deleated but a polite and effort message always gets a reply. If it gets abusive then i block them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"99% of time I ignore. The rare exception goes to someone who seemed to find effort to decode the nonsense of my profile. "
Omg ive got to read it now. I wont send a message as you say wont reply but im going to see if i can guess what your like. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes niceness can be seen as weakness I guess , but only really to.those who don't matter, always nice to be nice too
Yes, it is, but sometimes you have to choose to be nice to yourself, instead of a random human on the net."
Yeah guess you're right , I'd still reply myself though . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve tried both routes. And tbh it’s easier to just ignore generally speaking. Rather than prompt more questions like. Why not? You wouldn’t be disappointed etc. The fab rules are clear on non replies and deletions
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ignore.
Then I don't get the barge of abuse ( not from all) of why not. I can travel I can xyz I can poor woe is me ..ican ..the stallion of fab..type reply..
As many find NO too difficult to read |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes niceness can be seen as weakness I guess , but only really to.those who don't matter, always nice to be nice too"
Correct. Be nice to only the deserving.
The rest. Fuck their feelings as they sure don't give a fuck about yours. |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
First paragraph of my profile clearly states my policy over messages. Is this read and adhered too, nope.
I’ve had the messages from a variety of people, if it’s less than a paragraph I’ll probably ignore, unless I find something on their profile interesting, more than a paragraph then they’ll get a reply.
The lack of understanding on this site is hilarious, manners may maketh the man, but the reality is, we are all just strangers on the internet who are owed nothing to each other. So you get a reply treat it as a gift not a right. |
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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago
Shangri-la |
It depends on a range of factors, not least of all my mood at the time! My profile currently discourages messages, it's pretty easy to tell if someone has read it or not, if they still choose to message & have put some effort in then I will politely reply, if they send a "hi" then it's very likely they will be ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I used to reply to all my messages, but I don’t any more, for various reasons.
My filters are at full power, but men I’ve replied to can still message me, as once you’ve replied it permits a loophole in the filters.
When filters are lifted, it’s for these reasons.
I am here for the forum, and honestly it’s my time to use as I see fit, and I prioritise myself over random strangers.
I don’t want the abuse.
Site rules.
I choose not to, unless I want to.
It’s hard sometimes, as my ‘nice girl’ side tries to make me, but I’m working on that "
I can see why u get a lot of ppl trying to message u |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
It depends on the content of the message, but usually a no thanks. |
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No reply is a polite no thank you from me, I feel incredibly uncomfortable explaining to people why I'm not interested in them.
If you're getting a no reply from me it's generally because the sender was incredibly rude, disprectful or just gross. The no reply is the better option.
E
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
I reply to all mail but the totally inane, or once I've already replied to 3 times with "thank you but no thank you" .... |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
On some days I get a only few messages- if that is the case I will usually reply with a no thanks if it was a nice message. If it is crude, it’s a straight delete.
But some other days I do get many messages and it is impossible to reply to everyone. Some people are incredibly presumptious and assume they will a) get a response and b) be a favourable one resulting in an instant shag those I just delete.
Having said all this, I love receiving messages. Chatting is my main activity on Fab. If I’m posting on the forums, it’s a slow messages day, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I happily reply to 95% of all my messages ... but do have filters on and hide my profile when not online or don't have the time and/or inclination so all's nice and under control |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
I get a lot of messages from men and tgirls despite my profile saying I’m not interested. I’ll always reply and let them know that I’m not interested. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block."
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general |
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It can depend on so many things.
If it's a crude paragraph of what they'd like to do to be, no.
If they've read my profile, and referred to something or paid me a compliment, maybe.
We can't win either way, you ignore and they're likely to repeatedly send messages, so they end up getting blocked.
You say "not for me thanks" they want to know why, what they could change or they start trying to convince you to talk to them.
No reply, no thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can depend on so many things.
If it's a crude paragraph of what they'd like to do to be, no.
If they've read my profile, and referred to something or paid me a compliment, maybe.
We can't win either way, you ignore and they're likely to repeatedly send messages, so they end up getting blocked.
You say "not for me thanks" they want to know why, what they could change or they start trying to convince you to talk to them.
No reply, no thanks. "
I can only imagine what it’s like when u don’t reply |
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"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block.
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general "
How many ways are there to use "you"? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block.
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general
How many ways are there to use "you"?"
Oh I’m sorry that I struggle. I get anxious about the right way to use these words and that’s because of ppl who judge like urself. Maybe if less were judges others so much this works would be a better place to be |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
Depends on whether they'd read our profile properly first or not. If they obviously hadn't (like most guys who contact us) we probably wouldn't reply at all. If they had read it but just weren't quite our thing for some reason then we would reply politiely and gently decline saying something like we don't feel we'd be a good match for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block.
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general
How many ways are there to use "you"?
Oh I’m sorry that I struggle. I get anxious about the right way to use these words and that’s because of ppl who judge like urself. Maybe if less were judges others so much this works would be a better place to be "
Don't apologise Op, nothing to apologise for!! If ppl want to judge on the correct use of grammar or the lack of for whatever reason, and not you as person let them crack on.... |
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"If someone sent u an inbox message who u didn’t find attractive or necessarily ur type. Would u reply with a polite no thanks or just ignore ? "
I always try to reply, but I’m sure there has been times I haven’t |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block.
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general
How many ways are there to use "you"?
Oh I’m sorry that I struggle. I get anxious about the right way to use these words and that’s because of ppl who judge like urself. Maybe if less were judges others so much this works would be a better place to be
Don't apologise Op, nothing to apologise for!! If ppl want to judge on the correct use of grammar or the lack of for whatever reason, and not you as person let them crack on...."
thanks mate. It just winds me up that ppl find it their right to attack others who have a day to day struggle with words. If they could take a second to try to understand rather than attack ppl then they might get that the words end up looking jumbled together which makes the anxious brain get confused.
This was meant to be an opinion about what others do. Not about me personally |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always like to reply even if im not interested x it's just manners "
This for me,^^^
unless it's just "Hey babe" or "U free" etc.. I just delete those now.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block.
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general
How many ways are there to use "you"?
Oh I’m sorry that I struggle. I get anxious about the right way to use these words and that’s because of ppl who judge like urself. Maybe if less were judges others so much this works would be a better place to be "
I presume it was a comment about txt speak.
Swapping "you" for "u" etc. |
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"I ignore and delete
Got fed up of replying saying no thank you to receive abuse or more messages trying to convince me to chat/meet
The downside of good looks "
Mate, it's not necessarily that it's the attitude of some albeit a minority that are immature / a massive sense of entitlement who simply can't understand no thanks.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you wrote is with as many "u"'s and "ur"'s as you use here, probably ignore, maybe block.
I’m dyslexic so don’t know the right way of using you or your etc. But this topic isn’t about me it’s in general
How many ways are there to use "you"?
Oh I’m sorry that I struggle. I get anxious about the right way to use these words and that’s because of ppl who judge like urself. Maybe if less were judges others so much this works would be a better place to be
Don't apologise Op, nothing to apologise for!! If ppl want to judge on the correct use of grammar or the lack of for whatever reason, and not you as person let them crack on.... thanks mate. It just winds me up that ppl find it their right to attack others who have a day to day struggle with words. If they could take a second to try to understand rather than attack ppl then they might get that the words end up looking jumbled together which makes the anxious brain get confused.
This was meant to be an opinion about what others do. Not about me personally "
I get it have dyslexia myself, words get lost or missed out, ppl will be ppl, if they wanna ( yes I know not to get use) judge let them just do you |
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It's a minefield but we just delete as if you do reply mostly you get the whole abuse/explain and then even if you do try to engage or be polite ?? after a few messages they then assume it's ok to start getting sexual ( mainly males or males posing as couples)and so mr4 just blocks them as they only keep on sending you messages and seems a fair few mistake manners with being a push over or worse....same as if he see's a penis picture block ..harsh but ..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got a message this week from someone whose sexual orientation was not for me. The person even acknowledged it in message, but they just wanted to take time to pass me a compliment. It was nicely written and genuine. So because of that I responded to say thanks and wish them well. It costs nothing to be nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the message is polite then we try to reply even if to say no thank you. I’d say 90% of the messages we receive have clearly been sent from someone who either hasn’t read our profile or chose to ignore the things we state in it. So for those I treat them with the same level of effort as they did and click delete.
We don’t get too many messages but I can imagine for single women etc receiving 100s a day then the admin time spent to actually reply to all must be mind boggling. |
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"No. I don’t reply anymore. Can’t be doing with unnecessary abuse which you get every now and then if you reply. Or you get why? And there’s sometimes so many I don’t have time to reply anyway.
People shouldn’t take it personally it’s just easier that way sometimes. "
It always surprises me when women are saying they get so much abuse for saying, no thanks. Makes me wonder what these people would be like if you ever met them..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think I always reply, certainly try to but I think I can count on the finger of one hand the number of first time messages I have received from women since I've been here, hand a few guys message and always say thanks but no thanks.
If I was sent 50+ a day, dick pics and often got abuse improbably wouldn't |
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"I got a message this week from someone whose sexual orientation was not for me. The person even acknowledged it in message, but they just wanted to take time to pass me a compliment. It was nicely written and genuine. So because of that I responded to say thanks and wish them well. It costs nothing to be nice "
All about context, such messages are part of what we might refer to as normal social discourse which isn't specific to this site..
Some of the arsey, insistent messages and in our opinion after 15 or so years it's always men it's the equivalent of behaviours which outside of this arena are downright not normal..
Reiterate it's a minority and the cast majority are decent and respectful.. |
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I don't receive many messages if any so I reply to all except for the ones that have clearly not bothered e.g. "hi" or similar.
Personally I have the attitude when I send someone a message I try to make it as relevant to their profile as I can, but I never expect a reply so am not surprised if I don't get one, but it would be nice if they could either say no thanks or just delete or even block if they are not interested. As it stops me from thinking are they going to reply in a few days. |
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