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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well i mentioned on another post that id made a decent connection over apps with a couple of other girls
Showed the hubby who did a bit of investigation and turns out id been catfished on both occasions
One i'd made a decent connection with on a friendship level, her photos were stunning (blue hair, lip piercings, chest tattoo) shes away this week and offline, but not sure if i should confront her/them or just proceed in ignorance knowing that whoever it is i enjoy speaking too and have a lot in common
Overall feeling a bit let down when it comes to trust and online dating, is this a common thing and am i stupid for believing someone is who they say they are? |
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"Well i mentioned on another post that id made a decent connection over apps with a couple of other girls
Showed the hubby who did a bit of investigation and turns out id been catfished on both occasions
One i'd made a decent connection with on a friendship level, her photos were stunning (blue hair, lip piercings, chest tattoo) shes away this week and offline, but not sure if i should confront her/them or just proceed in ignorance knowing that whoever it is i enjoy speaking too and have a lot in common
Overall feeling a bit let down when it comes to trust and online dating, is this a common thing and am i stupid for believing someone is who they say they are?"
So sorry OP. It is common online but, no, you're not stupid for believing them.
To avoid this I try to chat on phone and cam as soon as possible to avoid this. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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happens all the time on here. As soon as someone gives us a face pic detective mode is entered! DM us if you want some tips ... i think people frown a bit on here if you publish how you try to sniff out the bullsh*t artists .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was once on a dating site in which someone who was supposedly based in Manchester who worked in travel and was catholic wanted to know more about me. I foolishly let my guard down. She started wanting to chat with me 24/7, then nothing for days. Then started mentioning things she said that she said she told me, that she hadn’t, like both her parents being dead. This was was meant to disarm me. It ended up where she said she had lost her phone overseas and started acting weird, being aggressive, wanting me to order her a new phone and she would pay me back if I gave my bank details. Deleted her chat. Said bye scammer. Not nice when it happens, they use dirty tricks to try and disarm you. Just be careful online.xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You are going to continue talking to someone that’s not real? "
Thats what im confused over
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc. Similar upbringings and over 2 weeks its the start of what i think is a friendship
Im just not sure if i should confront them, delete them or continue in ignorance in hope they may come clean |
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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
It’s not nice but it does happen sometimes. I almost fell for a really detailed scam. The guy (if it was a he) asked for £3000. I said No and he still tried it on. I reported it to Action Fraud and the police. I don’t think anything was done but I felt better for reporting it and (hopefully) a bit wiser now. |
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"You are going to continue talking to someone that’s not real?
Thats what im confused over
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc. Similar upbringings and over 2 weeks its the start of what i think is a friendship
Im just not sure if i should confront them, delete them or continue in ignorance in hope they may come clean"
You've established a strong connection and have an awful lot in common BUT this isn't you thought it was. Their whole identity is a lie. It's a horrible thing to happen and I think it's natural to want to salvage something but there truly is nothing to salvage, sadly it was all based in fiction. I say delete, don't beat yourself up and move on slightly sadder and a lot wiser. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc.
"
Nah, they were just mirroring back what you said and a bit of cold-reading thrown in. If it was on here it would be report to Mods, block, end. Same in the real world except there is even less you can do. Move on girl...its the only thing to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc.
Nah, they were just mirroring back what you said and a bit of cold-reading thrown in. If it was on here it would be report to Mods, block, end. Same in the real world except there is even less you can do. Move on girl...its the only thing to do. "
Definitely couldn’t be mirroring as the things that we drew connections on she brought up first and I wouldn’t ever have posted about the way I was brought up on any social media so she couldn’t have known about how to connect that way |
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"
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc.
Nah, they were just mirroring back what you said and a bit of cold-reading thrown in. If it was on here it would be report to Mods, block, end. Same in the real world except there is even less you can do. Move on girl...its the only thing to do.
Definitely couldn’t be mirroring as the things that we drew connections on she brought up first and I wouldn’t ever have posted about the way I was brought up on any social media so she couldn’t have known about how to connect that way"
Why do you feel he or she felt it necessary to conceal their true identity from you but was willing to connect personally ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hubby thinks they are trans, all the sex refers to them bending and taking it up the bum
Nothing wrong with that tho but it would be nice to know from the star |
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"Hubby thinks they are trans, all the sex refers to them bending and taking it up the bum
Nothing wrong with that tho but it would be nice to know from the star"
They, whoever they are, have got inside your head and they've done it by lying. You're giving them way more consideration than they deserve. For what it's worth I think they're men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hubby thinks they are trans, all the sex refers to them bending and taking it up the bum
Nothing wrong with that tho but it would be nice to know from the star
They, whoever they are, have got inside your head and they've done it by lying. You're giving them way more consideration than they deserve. For what it's worth I think they're men. "
Likely yes, im going to confront them when next online and see what they come back with if they cant verify with a written message alongside a picture they can do one, im just now more intrigued to who they really are |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hubby thinks they are trans, all the sex refers to them bending and taking it up the bum
Nothing wrong with that tho but it would be nice to know from the star
They, whoever they are, have got inside your head and they've done it by lying. You're giving them way more consideration than they deserve. For what it's worth I think they're men.
Likely yes, im going to confront them when next online and see what they come back with if they cant verify with a written message alongside a picture they can do one, im just now more intrigued to who they really are"
Chances are if they are Catfish they may have a second profile. So they could have read your thread already. So don't be surprised if you don't hear from them again. |
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"Hubby thinks they are trans, all the sex refers to them bending and taking it up the bum
Nothing wrong with that tho but it would be nice to know from the star
They, whoever they are, have got inside your head and they've done it by lying. You're giving them way more consideration than they deserve. For what it's worth I think they're men.
Likely yes, im going to confront them when next online and see what they come back with if they cant verify with a written message alongside a picture they can do one, im just now more intrigued to who they really are"
I'm genuinely not being awkward but if you already know they're catfish they're not likely to send you a photo or show you who they really are. They're more likely to give various excuses as to why they can't send you the proof you're asking for thereby drawing you further in and making you feel more heavily invested. |
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Sadly happens so much to me... why I only meet people when in clubs now as fed up of wasting my time.
I love the show catfish, so I’ve been a wee detective in my time and often image search and find people using fake pics. It’s so gutting when happens, especially when you get on well with the person. People often say, does it matter if you have a connection and yes it does cos if they lie from start, how can you trust.
Always a red flag if someone won’t video chat.. if someone sounds too good to be true it’s usually for a reason sadly x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm sorry, bit naive in what exactly catfishing is.
Do they not actually look like their pictures then or are they scam artists?
"
It's when someone makes a fake profile and pretends to be someone they aren't. Could be for financial gain or just because they like fucking people up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are going to continue talking to someone that’s not real?
Thats what im confused over
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc. Similar upbringings and over 2 weeks its the start of what i think is a friendship
Im just not sure if i should confront them, delete them or continue in ignorance in hope they may come clean"
The same happened to me. I realised she was a he but we got on well and were friends.
I made the mistake one day of telling her I knew she was really a man and she wouldn't speak to me anymore.
You are now in the position of power because you have the catfish knowledge. Be aware of any potential scams. But this person may just want a friend.
I wouldn't say you know the truth and just continue to be friends. Not all catfish are scammers.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are going to continue talking to someone that’s not real?
Thats what im confused over
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc. Similar upbringings and over 2 weeks its the start of what i think is a friendship
Im just not sure if i should confront them, delete them or continue in ignorance in hope they may come clean"
It's not the start of a friendship though !!! They are deceiving you !!! They are trying to reel you in by seeming friendly and similar !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I messaged her thinking as she seemed interesting, (blendr) yeah there's been some flirting but we mainly talk nerdy stuff such as games, what were having for tea etc.
Nah, they were just mirroring back what you said and a bit of cold-reading thrown in. If it was on here it would be report to Mods, block, end. Same in the real world except there is even less you can do. Move on girl...its the only thing to do.
Definitely couldn’t be mirroring as the things that we drew connections on she brought up first and I wouldn’t ever have posted about the way I was brought up on any social media so she couldn’t have known about how to connect that way"
I very much doubt it was a she  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is very common.
I try to meet in person before giving very much away about myself and certainly don’t get attached .
It’s a sad reality but when it comes to online connections the chances are that it’s more likely some kind of fabrication than reality until proven real in the flesh. |
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