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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Heard this phrase banded around so many times and it's not one I personally agree with but some still use it. I personally think it can be quite damaging telling someone they aren't a "true sub" if they don't do this or that because everyone and every dynamic is different so who defines what's "True"?
Thoughts? |
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"Heard this phrase banded around so many times and it's not one I personally agree with but some still use it. I personally think it can be quite damaging telling someone they aren't a "true sub" if they don't do this or that because everyone and every dynamic is different so who defines what's "True"?
Thoughts? "
Spoken by fake Doms who think submission means no boundaries. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A terrible phrase often used as people have said to degrade people and neg them 
I've heard a lot of it happening, a good dynamic Will encourage allow growth and build a person up.
Someone throwing terms like "true sub" or "your not a proper sub" should be avoided at all costs
Let people know there are no "true" submissive, there are people and some of those give up control to someone they trust and believe is worthy of it!
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By *yron69Man
over a year ago
Fareham |
Just bad wording. Completely submissive might describe someone who submits to all demands. Somewhat submissive could be used for those who just like to take a back seat letting whoever is on top do all the work.
I’m lucky in having a completely submissive girl friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is the difference not being only Submissive in the bedroom and being compleatly Submissive as a life style choice? Like plenty of people who consider themselfs Submissive love a guy to take charge in the bedroom but if there Dom wanted to say give them a bed time or want to be able to pick out what outfit you ware on any given day then they would draw a line and say that's too far |
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A "true" sub....
Ah, one of those terms that gets hurled by bullies and manipulative cunts in an attempt to get another person under their control. A tactical play by an abuser.
That's my take on it anyway.
Come on mofos, tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you what a true teeth knocker outer looks like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Isn't a true sub the same as a genuine lady? I have yet to find either 
Yeah fuck that.
My name is Bruce and I tuck my cock, and I'm a fake sub."
Hahahahahahahaha ... and fish are friends  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Surely it is down to the relationship dynamic. A true sub gives her life over to her master completely, being submissive is something completely different "
Why do they have to be different if that's the person choice? Surely submission is as far as the sub is willing to give and should be accept as so? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Isn't a true sub the same as a genuine lady? I have yet to find either
Yeah fuck that.
My name is Bruce and I tuck my cock, and I'm a fake sub."
You have a cock?!  |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A "true" sub....
Ah, one of those terms that gets hurled by bullies and manipulative cunts in an attempt to get another person under their control. A tactical play by an abuser.
That's my take on it anyway.
Come on mofos, tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you what a true teeth knocker outer looks like "
Kinda my take on it too just wondered what other people thought. I've always associated it with manipulation. I was told, I could never be a true sub because I won't wear a collar |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
"Surely it is down to the relationship dynamic. A true sub gives her life over to her master completely, being submissive is something completely different
Why do they have to be different if that's the person choice? Surely submission is as far as the sub is willing to give and should be accept as so? "
agreed and maybe I should have been accurate in my response |
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"A "true" sub....
Ah, one of those terms that gets hurled by bullies and manipulative cunts in an attempt to get another person under their control. A tactical play by an abuser.
That's my take on it anyway.
Come on mofos, tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you what a true teeth knocker outer looks like
Kinda my take on it too just wondered what other people thought. I've always associated it with manipulation. I was told, I could never be a true sub because I won't wear a collar "
send him my way, he'll never be a true man when I rip his bollocks off. |
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"Isn't a true sub the same as a genuine lady? I have yet to find either
Yeah fuck that.
My name is Bruce and I tuck my cock, and I'm a fake sub.
You have a cock?! "
Umm. Pink, anatomically impossible, with bunny ears  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand "
 Px |
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"A "true" sub....
Ah, one of those terms that gets hurled by bullies and manipulative cunts in an attempt to get another person under their control. A tactical play by an abuser.
That's my take on it anyway.
Come on mofos, tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you what a true teeth knocker outer looks like
Kinda my take on it too just wondered what other people thought. I've always associated it with manipulation. I was told, I could never be a true sub because I won't wear a collar "
I agree with you two in a way, from what I know about it but then again I don’t think I know enough to have a true opinion to be honest. I just know I’ll never be one in a million years!
Where’s GM when you need him. He usually explains these things well! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A "true" sub....
Ah, one of those terms that gets hurled by bullies and manipulative cunts in an attempt to get another person under their control. A tactical play by an abuser.
That's my take on it anyway.
Come on mofos, tell me I'm wrong and I'll show you what a true teeth knocker outer looks like
Kinda my take on it too just wondered what other people thought. I've always associated it with manipulation. I was told, I could never be a true sub because I won't wear a collar
send him my way, he'll never be a true man when I rip his bollocks off."
Happily  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Isn't a true sub the same as a genuine lady? I have yet to find either
Yeah fuck that.
My name is Bruce and I tuck my cock, and I'm a fake sub.
You have a cock?!
Umm. Pink, anatomically impossible, with bunny ears "
Ahh that kind of cock! I've got one of them too |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
"Heard this phrase banded around so many times and it's not one I personally agree with but some still use it. I personally think it can be quite damaging telling someone they aren't a "true sub" if they don't do this or that because everyone and every dynamic is different so who defines what's "True"?
Thoughts? "
The first rule of “true sub” club is not to talk about “true subs”!
I have seen it used in a couple of different ways.
The first is the manipulative way, “you will never be/can’t be a true sub unless you do XYZ”.
The second, less common time, is where the Dominant still has a lot to learn and has a limited view on what submission means.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand "
Agreed. It's a term I really can't stand, unfortunately it still seems to be around too much.
I'll get off my soap box now |
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"True subs have a bumhole exactly the shade of hubba bubba bubblegum pink.
I don’t even know what that means haha
No idea of the colour either "
Twue Domly Dominates know! They only need to catch a glimpse  . |
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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
"In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand "
D/S should not be about Making one
Person do what the other wants. Parameters should be negotiated agreed and consented to when participating in bdsm activities. But like you say some individuals seek to manipulate others for their own ends which to me is abuse whichever way you look at it. I also have concerns about whether some individuals engage in these activities without any awareness of or regard for health and safety issues.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats a true anything - there are so many variations. One persons description or view dosnt make it valid or 'true'
Whats a true aeroplane, car, horse, wine, holiday, cardigan, yacht, race etc etc?
It can be 'true' to one or more people but that dosnt make it so for everyone.
Be the sub you want to be
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True sub/true Dom make my skin itch. It's manipulative and it's a massive red flag for me. But I see plenty of subs on here call themselves very sub etc. What does that even mean?
There's far too much mystery involved in kink in my opinion. If it doesn't feel right then it isn't doesn't matter if it is a D saying it, don't do it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have met submissive ladies and chatted to many.
I prefer the words Natural Sub.
Many women I know outwith fab are naturally sub but probably don't realise it yet.
Fascinating area tho |
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Its difficult, especially if he has a different dynamic relationship with another sub and wants to explore boundaries with said sub
I suppose it depends on the different relationship communication as to how it moves forwards
Its just words and lots of people choose to be called them, the Master/*lave dynamic is particularly interesting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have met submissive ladies and chatted to many.
I prefer the words Natural Sub.
Many women I know outwith fab are naturally sub but probably don't realise it yet.
Fascinating area tho "
What do you suppose will make them realise? |
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I've been called a true and natural submissive before. I take it as that I don't just have submissive tendencies or flit in and out. It's so much more than that. I'm also collared and owned. I don't see them as exclusive either. For me it's naturally in me. Not just a kink or a liking. It's a craving and part of who I am. I know that lots of people don't get that but I can say I'm a proud True submissive
R |
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"I have met submissive ladies and chatted to many.
I prefer the words Natural Sub.
Many women I know outwith fab are naturally sub but probably don't realise it yet.
Fascinating area tho
What do you suppose will make them realise?"
Something just clicks
R |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand
D/S should not be about Making one
Person do what the other wants. Parameters should be negotiated agreed and consented to when participating in bdsm activities. But like you say some individuals seek to manipulate others for their own ends which to me is abuse whichever way you look at it. I also have concerns about whether some individuals engage in these activities without any awareness of or regard for health and safety issues.
"
This is how the grown ups play.
At the end of the day, submissiveness is a spectrum imho. |
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Sorry OP I didn't actually answer your question typical me.
I think everyone in a good and healthy dynamic with their Dom is a true sub. I am truly submissive to my Dom within our agreed dynamic. I don't/won't submit to anyone else. Who can quantity and define true love? It's different for each couple I feel D/s is the same.
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"Sorry OP I didn't actually answer your question typical me.
I think everyone in a good and healthy dynamic with their Dom is a true sub. I am truly submissive to my Dom within our agreed dynamic. I don't/won't submit to anyone else. Who can quantity and define true love? It's different for each couple I feel D/s is the same.
"
I love this! Says it better than me.
Mrs kf x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"True sub/true Dom make my skin itch. It's manipulative and it's a massive red flag for me. But I see plenty of subs on here call themselves very sub etc. What does that even mean?
There's far too much mystery involved in kink in my opinion. If it doesn't feel right then it isn't doesn't matter if it is a D saying it, don't do it. "
Love this! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry OP I didn't actually answer your question typical me.
I think everyone in a good and healthy dynamic with their Dom is a true sub. I am truly submissive to my Dom within our agreed dynamic. I don't/won't submit to anyone else. Who can quantity and define true love? It's different for each couple I feel D/s is the same.
"
Haha! No worries. I'm just musing, I'm not sure there is a right or wrong answer but I do believe some terminology can be used to mask abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand
D/S should not be about Making one
Person do what the other wants. Parameters should be negotiated agreed and consented to when participating in bdsm activities. But like you say some individuals seek to manipulate others for their own ends which to me is abuse whichever way you look at it. I also have concerns about whether some individuals engage in these activities without any awareness of or regard for health and safety issues.
This is how the grown ups play.
At the end of the day, submissiveness is a spectrum imho. "
We're supposed to be grown ups? I didn't get that memo! |
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"Sorry OP I didn't actually answer your question typical me.
I think everyone in a good and healthy dynamic with their Dom is a true sub. I am truly submissive to my Dom within our agreed dynamic. I don't/won't submit to anyone else. Who can quantity and define true love? It's different for each couple I feel D/s is the same.
Haha! No worries. I'm just musing, I'm not sure there is a right or wrong answer but I do believe some terminology can be used to mask abuse. "
It most definitely can be used to mask abuse. Which is why I don't really use the term when I'm speaking. If experienced subs didn't use so many different words to say I'm a better sub than you then abuser's would have less places to hide. I'm not a fan of, I'm a natural sub/ collared sub etc etc it's not really important to anyone except you and your Dom in my opinion.
For example a collared sub is no better than anyone else it's just how their dynamic works. You wouldn't tell an unmarried couple you're not as good as a married couple. It's just horses for courses.
Same with natural sub, to be honest I am naturally submissive. And I wish I wasn't because it's bloody hard work not to be in non kink settings.
My feelings is if everyone concentrated what felt right for them as a couple there would be less abuse. It's no different to any other relationship you have. There's no magic to it it's just a normal relationship with an added dimension. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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True sub and true Dominant are something that has been thrown around since 50 shades made kink mainstream. It's a phrase used to differentiate people who are serious about their kink and tourists.
The problem is that it's used as to stigmatise others often in praise of someone. "You're a true submissive" is supposed to make the person being spoken to feel superior and therefore puts others down. Or "I'm a real Dominant" meaning the other guys here are not real and you shouldn't pay them attention. The flip of these is also valid. Subs building up a potential Dom by praising his true-ness or a sub praising himself for his realness to his lifestyle.
Bdsm is supposed to be inclusive. If you have even a little bit of kink then you belong. If the most mild mannered and agreeable person in the world let's you dominate them in any way then you are their dominant. Simple as that. Everyone belongs.
My sadism doesn't require me to beat someone to within an inch of their lives. I err on the side of caution. But I like inflicting pain. If a play partner can only endure 3 pussy slaps before it's too much... then that's fine. I get my reactions and I can use the sensations. My sadism might be a candle beside a bonfire compared to others but that's irrelevant. I'm still a sadist.
I take bdsm very seriously. But I don't identify myself as a dominant because of the true/real/genuine discussions. If someone finds my personality and disposition agreeable and feels I could be their dominant then we will talk. But I'm not about to get into a pissing contest about credentials with someone to see who is most alpha alpha of the alphas |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know people who sleep in cages. I know Dominants who have not done a physical task for themselves at home because they have people to them things for them.
The person who loves the idea of being spanked while fucking but doesn't actually follow through, is just as true to bdsm as the people who live the lifestyle 24/7.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience, it’s a term used to try and manipulate a person into doing what the ‘Dom’ wants. Usually used by people who don’t understand what submission is nor how genuine dynamics work.
If a person is trying to make someone do something that they don’t want to do, it’s often abuse. Even CNC requires agreement beforehand
D/S should not be about Making one
Person do what the other wants. Parameters should be negotiated agreed and consented to when participating in bdsm activities. But like you say some individuals seek to manipulate others for their own ends which to me is abuse whichever way you look at it. I also have concerns about whether some individuals engage in these activities without any awareness of or regard for health and safety issues.
This is how the grown ups play.
At the end of the day, submissiveness is a spectrum imho.
We're supposed to be grown ups? I didn't get that memo! "
Don't beat yourself up. It was written in Klingon |
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