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In light of the latest news
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By *ugby 123 OP Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
In light of recent events it has made me think of what I would have done if I had been on my own when my kids were small.
It is a scary thought of what could happen with a new partner when you have children, but what do you think you would do, or have done about getting into a relationship when you have children from another?
Would you have waited until the kids were adult before getting into another relationship ? Or would you take what chance of happiness you could get and hope you have found a good one? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Last year I found myself on the opposite side, as a girlfriend to a guy with teenage children. I had to almost become the mother figure and it was so so difficult. I work in education and am crb checked etc but still I was very nervous about being on my own with the kids. In the end the relationship broke down because he cheated, the kids still text me a year on and its nice to hear what they're doing. |
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I don't have kids...but if and when I do and I for some reason split up from the father and entered a new relationship I would not introduce my child to that person until I felt like I fully know him.. However do we ever fully know somebody. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its seems to be the norm to go from one relationship to the other for some people,regardless of children
I have family that have had multiple relationships throughout the years and there have been children involved in all of them,some of those relationships have been happy and some have been a disaster and on they go to the next one
I can understand that some people will always need to be with someone to validate themselves as worthy and they can't even begin to live a life alone as the need to be with someone is so huge,but I don't think its something that would appeal to me if I were in the same situation
As for the safety aspect of allowing another adult near your children,we never know someone fully,we can use instinct as and when but if we never trusted anybody we may as well live in a cave and not see another human being for the rest of our lives
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i would go out with men, but i would be very careful. never trust anyone completely with your kids ever.
no matter how nice they seem, or you think they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its seems to be the norm to go from one relationship to the other for some people,regardless of children
I have family that have had multiple relationships throughout the years and there have been children involved in all of them,some of those relationships have been happy and some have been a disaster and on they go to the next one
I can understand that some people will always need to be with someone to validate themselves as worthy and they can't even begin to live a life alone as the need to be with someone is so huge,but I don't think its something that would appeal to me if I were in the same situation
As for the safety aspect of allowing another adult near your children,we never know someone fully,we can use instinct as and when but if we never trusted anybody we may as well live in a cave and not see another human being for the rest of our lives
"
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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago
taunton |
"In light of recent events it has made me think of what I would have done if I had been on my own when my kids were small.
It is a scary thought of what could happen with a new partner when you have children, but what do you think you would do, or have done about getting into a relationship when you have children from another?
Would you have waited until the kids were adult before getting into another relationship ? Or would you take what chance of happiness you could get and hope you have found a good one?"
the sad thing is that in the society we live in,its quite often blood relatives that abuse children,so our advice is,only trust yourselves.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Siren didn't meet my daughter until we'd been seeing each other for 6 months. I've always been wary of introducing her to new partners and even though a couple of girlfriends came and went before Siren they still didn't get to know my daughter until I was sure they were both ready for it. |
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Callum, only met two of my boyfriends, i had been with both about 6 months. I started of by mentioning them in conversation, which changed to him saying hello on the phone. The when it was time to meet we met out at some attraction and spent the day there not here and they didnt come back to stay that night. Eventually i asked callum if he would mind them staying over and he was perfectly happy with it. It worked out well but when i split up from them both i had to explain that relationships dont always work and he was fine although he was a little upset when i spilt with one, but you cant wrap them in cotton wool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lots of family are police, i have the police instinct too, sorry to be so blunt and slice thru this diplomatic point but, he looks an evil bastard, police aint daft, the, "she was here then vanished" thing does not and will not cut any ice.
As we now see!! Sadly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so many arseholes out there its hard to trust anyone..
it ok on here to have fun with consenting adults but any kiddie fiddlers need their bollocks choppin off..
what if they are female..?"
as seems to be the case now maybe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so many arseholes out there its hard to trust anyone..
it ok on here to have fun with consenting adults but any kiddie fiddlers need their bollocks choppin off..
what if they are female..?
as seems to be the case now maybe"
What?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so many arseholes out there its hard to trust anyone..
it ok on here to have fun with consenting adults but any kiddie fiddlers need their bollocks choppin off..
what if they are female..?
as seems to be the case now maybe
What??"
the grandmother has been arrested on suspicion of murder of tiasharp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, probably scared of him, controlled by him, told to shhhhh, about it all, or else, its her gran first n foremost !!
That's pure conjecture"
No probs, i can conject plenty, he obviously is prime suspect, he to me, looks prime suspect, whats utterly bewildering is how he did!! |
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"so many arseholes out there its hard to trust anyone..
it ok on here to have fun with consenting adults but any kiddie fiddlers need their bollocks choppin off..
what if they are female..?"
you dont hear of female kiddie fiddlers very often... |
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By *ugby 123 OP Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"all very sad, it really is. It is a very small that commit these terrible crimes.
to all the great step mums & dads
"
Of course.
It was more a question of would it or did it make people wary. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"all very sad, it really is. It is a very small that commit these terrible crimes.
to all the great step mums & dads
Of course.
It was more a question of would it or did it make people wary."
sure, I appreciated that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a horrific thing that has gone on, and no i wouldn't introduce my child to any man until i was sure the relationship was going to go somewhere.
I don't want to live my life treading on eggshells though. Id like to think my choice in a partner would be a good one and id not want to even contemplate that those things can be done to a child, let alone to mine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having a child at 13 yrs who can-not speak and being a single parent, i constantly worry about her not only who we have in the house but also when she is not with me. The only person that i have allowed near her is Pork and it was a while before i introduced him to her and the rest of my family. I had to be sure that she was going to be safe, i know this sounds harsh but it's something that has to be done.
I have known friends to move boyfriends in and not one but several in a row before meeting the children. I would say that these ladies want their needs sorted more than putting their children's needs first and to me that is so wrong.
It was awful what happened to Tia and this is why we should bring back hanging, it might even make these dreadful arseholes think before they do anything !!!!   |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I cannot understand why anybody would introduce children to a partner unless they were sure that it was a relationship with a realistic chance of survival. Not a good role model to young ones when they meet too many partners in my _iew. |
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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago
with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc |
"Ok, maybe its instinctive me, but instantly seeing him,(that was only after the worst news), i instantly thought, he looks prime suspect!!!"
Not by seeing him I thought he may be involved, but it was how the police called in the Shannon Matthews experts and a couple of other things that didnt add up made me suspicious.
I have had training to be suspicious of people no matter how they look or their previous.
Each case is individual.
It means naff all that she had an absent father (tangent from the other thread) and her grandmother had a younger boyfriend.
Who knows someone completely even after a long time. No ome knows what the next person is capable of.
I honestly couldnt say how long it would be before I introduced my little one to a new beau. It all depends on my gut instinct of someone and how I would feel with my baby being with another.
It is such a crying shame what ever happened to Tia and I would never wish the loss of a child on anyone. |
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