FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > What do you think of me; debrief
What do you think of me; debrief
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest... |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
The comments I have received have been positive and pretty accurate, yes I have confidence issues, yes, I do feel lonely at times, mainly because of the personal issues that have affected me this year, but am slowly coming out the other side.
The comments have boosted my self confidence greatly, but also confirms that I am regarded as the gentleman I am.
So thank you |
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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
I didn’t have any responses but I’m not surprised as I didn’t realise straight away that it would help to lift my filters. I’m also new to the forums and so people probably don’t feel that they know much about me yet. Hopefully they will, in time and I can participate if another thread comes along in the future.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve managed to reach some that I wanted to thank just because they make me smile. Others, I couldn’t because of filters but I would like them to know they brighten my day. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
It’s great that people are enjoying the process but I will say (again) that the idea isn’t to just send positive affirmations. We’re all human and have things that we could do better.
Perhaps it’s that people find it hard to be direct and constructive, perhaps it’s that people on the forums only show one facet of themselves, maybe it’s that people use it as an excuse to message a person that they like or maybe it’s a mix of all of them and this really isn’t the place to be trying to make this work.
I’m just curious as to how to build more into the process |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I didn’t have any responses but I’m not surprised as I didn’t realise straight away that it would help to lift my filters. I’m also new to the forums and so people probably don’t feel that they know much about me yet. Hopefully they will, in time and I can participate if another thread comes along in the future.
"
Yes, that’s my main issue with this thread, it requires a person to have been active enough to build up a picture for others over time |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"It’s great that people are enjoying the process but I will say (again) that the idea isn’t to just send positive affirmations. We’re all human and have things that we could do better.
Perhaps it’s that people find it hard to be direct and constructive, perhaps it’s that people on the forums only show one facet of themselves, maybe it’s that people use it as an excuse to message a person that they like or maybe it’s a mix of all of them and this really isn’t the place to be trying to make this work.
I’m just curious as to how to build more into the process "
Curious why are you curious surely everyone is different |
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My main take-away is that I should probably learn to tone down the bluntness a bit sometimes...there are definitely more diplomatic ways of saying things 
I received some lovely messages though...I'm glad that other people perceive me in that way  |
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"It’s great that people are enjoying the process but I will say (again) that the idea isn’t to just send positive affirmations. We’re all human and have things that we could do better.
Perhaps it’s that people find it hard to be direct and constructive, perhaps it’s that people on the forums only show one facet of themselves, maybe it’s that people use it as an excuse to message a person that they like or maybe it’s a mix of all of them and this really isn’t the place to be trying to make this work.
I’m just curious as to how to build more into the process "
I didn’t join but I’ve watched a bit and I get the idea of this but personally if I had joined I would have only sent to the people I had positive things to say about. I wouldn’t be comfortable criticising people I don’t know that well to be honest. Just my personal feelings on it x |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I've had some lovely positive messages and some that have made me think.
I do think that some people are holding back their true thoughts though, and I wonder if they'd be more open if it were able to be anonymous. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It’s great that people are enjoying the process but I will say (again) that the idea isn’t to just send positive affirmations. We’re all human and have things that we could do better.
Perhaps it’s that people find it hard to be direct and constructive, perhaps it’s that people on the forums only show one facet of themselves, maybe it’s that people use it as an excuse to message a person that they like or maybe it’s a mix of all of them and this really isn’t the place to be trying to make this work.
I’m just curious as to how to build more into the process
I didn’t join but I’ve watched a bit and I get the idea of this but personally if I had joined I would have only sent to the people I had positive things to say about. I wouldn’t be comfortable criticising people I don’t know that well to be honest. Just my personal feelings on it x"
Would you have gone for constructive criticism for those you know better? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Mine went well I believe, very accurate and just need to see my self worth and feel I do portray myself well getting respected too, keep being me is good just more confident maybe  |
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"It’s great that people are enjoying the process but I will say (again) that the idea isn’t to just send positive affirmations. We’re all human and have things that we could do better.
Perhaps it’s that people find it hard to be direct and constructive, perhaps it’s that people on the forums only show one facet of themselves, maybe it’s that people use it as an excuse to message a person that they like or maybe it’s a mix of all of them and this really isn’t the place to be trying to make this work.
I’m just curious as to how to build more into the process
I didn’t join but I’ve watched a bit and I get the idea of this but personally if I had joined I would have only sent to the people I had positive things to say about. I wouldn’t be comfortable criticising people I don’t know that well to be honest. Just my personal feelings on it x
Would you have gone for constructive criticism for those you know better? "
I don’t think I would to be honest. X |
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By *nfin8yWoman
over a year ago
Newcastle-under-Lyme |
"I didn’t have any responses but I’m not surprised as I didn’t realise straight away that it would help to lift my filters. I’m also new to the forums and so people probably don’t feel that they know much about me yet. Hopefully they will, in time and I can participate if another thread comes along in the future.
Yes, that’s my main issue with this thread, it requires a person to have been active enough to build up a picture for others over time"
The thread is a good idea though and I’ll look out for it in the future. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I found it interesting on the whole. I do think people hold back from saying certain things out of politeness - no one mentioned how much I waffle and fuck knows I do even when asked a simple question.
I didn't message some people because although it's a honest feedback exercise, I know that some views wouldn't be appreciated or listened to. Which is fair enough in all honesty, sometimes it's nice to just give people honest views but little boosts as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest..."
It was fascinating and very informative, I didn’t receive a single message, which speaks volumes, I will continue to work tirelessly and plough my own furlough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
yeah I didn't get any, although I haven't sent any yet either... I actually got some work done today.
appreciate its late but I'm going to do them this evening for people I think I have seen around long enough to have an 'opinion' - later than expected but hopefully still appreciated  |
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"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool. "
I probably wouldn't have messaged you as I'f have presumed everyone else had and it'd be too obvious! Maybe others felt that too. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest...
It was fascinating and very informative, I didn’t receive a single message, which speaks volumes, I will continue to work tirelessly and plough my own furlough. "
I think I maybe sent you a message but to someone else. I get confused with You, Tea Monkey and Essex Tom..... is it the sane person ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've received a few dick pics.
Haven't really, I'm just being so frikin hilarious.
I have though received a few compliments.
Maybe I need to ruffle some feathers, darn it |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Save posting in the other thread a second time do we tell people how they come across on the forum or in their profile? X"
However you choose. Just what your feelings are on the person from what you've seen of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
I probably wouldn't have messaged you as I'f have presumed everyone else had and it'd be too obvious! Maybe others felt that too."
Oh really... Odd that people would assume everyone had messaged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool. "
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest...
It was fascinating and very informative, I didn’t receive a single message, which speaks volumes, I will continue to work tirelessly and plough my own furlough.
I think I maybe sent you a message but to someone else. I get confused with You, Tea Monkey and Essex Tom..... is it the sane person ?"
Of course you do, because I’m so similar to those two. |
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"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest..."
I’m was surprised that people think I’m flirty. I’m now second guessing all messages I’m sending. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s great that people are enjoying the process but I will say (again) that the idea isn’t to just send positive affirmations. We’re all human and have things that we could do better.
Perhaps it’s that people find it hard to be direct and constructive, perhaps it’s that people on the forums only show one facet of themselves, maybe it’s that people use it as an excuse to message a person that they like or maybe it’s a mix of all of them and this really isn’t the place to be trying to make this work.
I’m just curious as to how to build more into the process "
I know your post isn’t for me specifically but it was, perhaps, inspired by my post.
I send positive affirmations because these people help give me positivity. I don’t dwell on people trying to engage with me negatively.
I choose to send positive ones to people I hardly know but who help brighten my day and I hope to uplift theirs. I have no reason to offer any more of my opinion than that.
As for my friends, they know they can rely on my honest opinion based on the facts as I know them.
Thank you for a lonely thread. It has been very nice to simply say thank you to some strangers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not had any messages although I did join late on and perhaps people haven't seen me about enough. Could also be that I'm a bit of a wally and no one is brave enough to say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not had any messages although I did join late on and perhaps people haven't seen me about enough. Could also be that I'm a bit of a wally and no one is brave enough to say "
No, definitely not the latter. We need to see you here more often. Definitely.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest...
I’m was surprised that people think I’m flirty. I’m now second guessing all messages I’m sending. "
Is flirty a bad thing on such a site, really? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
"
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all. "
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
|
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"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest...
I’m was surprised that people think I’m flirty. I’m now second guessing all messages I’m sending.
Is flirty a bad thing on such a site, really?"
I suppose not haha |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all. "
Why are you upset
Opinions of stranger's shouldn't matter
You come across as lovely
Forget the negative and
Build on the positives xxx |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Now that the thread has been running for a little while, I think that it’s time to review and take stock a little.
For those of you that have taken part, how do you think that it has gone?
Was it overwhelmingly positive? Did you get any surprises? If there were negatives, will you take them on board? Will it change how you post or how you approach fab?
This is a large part of the process folks so please, don’t hold back and be honest...
I’m was surprised that people think I’m flirty. I’m now second guessing all messages I’m sending.
Is flirty a bad thing on such a site, really?
I suppose not haha"
Flirty is good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have not gotten any responses when I played. And it's perfectly fine. "
Of course it is and that is great. But as said above it is also fine that someone might feel not so great about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
"
There are certain things that come up on fab time and time again. Both this time on fab and my previous stint.
Same words each time... Unobtainable, intimidating are two of them. I just hate the thought of being seen like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Why are you upset
Opinions of stranger's shouldn't matter
You come across as lovely
Forget the negative and
Build on the positives xxx"
Thank you.  I just posted above why I feel the way I do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
No contact from other users, only one back from one I sent, thats OK, as did see some stuff in what was said, and identified I should probably make amends, for my behaviour on a thread displayed to a particular forumite, as I wssent practicing what i preach, about looking in the mirror and not out the window, i made it my business when it's none.if my business,it was uncalled for, n I acted like a bellend...so amends will be made  |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Why are you upset
Opinions of stranger's shouldn't matter
You come across as lovely
Forget the negative and
Build on the positives xxx
Thank you. I just posted above why I feel the way I do. "
Iv never found you intimidating xxx
Your lovely |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"No contact from other users, only one back from one I sent, thats OK, as did see some stuff in what was said, and identified I should probably make amends, for my behaviour on a thread displayed to a particular forumite, as I wssent practicing what i preach, about looking in the mirror and not out the window, i made it my business when it's none.if my business,it was uncalled for, n I acted like a bellend...so amends will be made "
Owning ones mistakes is aplaudeable x |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
There are certain things that come up on fab time and time again. Both this time on fab and my previous stint.
Same words each time... Unobtainable, intimidating are two of them. I just hate the thought of being seen like that. "
I understand you feel how you feel. But you’re thinking of that as a negative, but if you flip it around you could think of it as being a positive, a strong minded independent woman. Unobtainable? Or just have high expectations and a strong sense of self worth and know what you want? That is just someone giving you a minute bit of feedback based on a very small snapshot of how they perceive you. Doesn’t make it right. You know who you are, that’s the important part.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
There are certain things that come up on fab time and time again. Both this time on fab and my previous stint.
Same words each time... Unobtainable, intimidating are two of them. I just hate the thought of being seen like that.
I understand you feel how you feel. But you’re thinking of that as a negative, but if you flip it around you could think of it as being a positive, a strong minded independent woman. Unobtainable? Or just have high expectations and a strong sense of self worth and know what you want? That is just someone giving you a minute bit of feedback based on a very small snapshot of how they perceive you. Doesn’t make it right. You know who you are, that’s the important part.
"
Absolutely this! |
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"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
There are certain things that come up on fab time and time again. Both this time on fab and my previous stint.
Same words each time... Unobtainable, intimidating are two of them. I just hate the thought of being seen like that. "
That says a lot about their self worth and self esteem and nothing about you. |
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"I didn't realise this was a process!
Anyway I had 2 messages which was quite disappointing in itself although they were both complimentary "
I was going to message you but all I had to say was I assume you enjoy the music of Guns n Roses and well that seemed a bit 0ants given the OP's intention for the thread. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I wonder how many joined in to offer their views and opinions, but not open to receive.
That's very telling.  "
I think that the opposite was more common. People waiting for others to message for whatever reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I didn't participate because I don't really want to know what people think of me at the moment. If I had participated, my messages to people would probably have had me chucked off the site. I've witnessed some absolutely abhorrent behaviour from a few people on here in the last few weeks. Would they appreciate me telling them my feelings about them? I think not.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
There are certain things that come up on fab time and time again. Both this time on fab and my previous stint.
Same words each time... Unobtainable, intimidating are two of them. I just hate the thought of being seen like that.
I understand you feel how you feel. But you’re thinking of that as a negative, but if you flip it around you could think of it as being a positive, a strong minded independent woman. Unobtainable? Or just have high expectations and a strong sense of self worth and know what you want? That is just someone giving you a minute bit of feedback based on a very small snapshot of how they perceive you. Doesn’t make it right. You know who you are, that’s the important part.
"
I was trying to word a reply, but this says it very well. |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"I didn't participate because I don't really want to know what people think of me at the moment. If I had participated, my messages to people would probably have had me chucked off the site. I've witnessed some absolutely abhorrent behaviour from a few people on here in the last few weeks. Would they appreciate me telling them my feelings about them? I think not. "
Perhaps people need to hear it?
I know that I’d rather hear negatives than vague platitudes |
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By *ea monkey OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Most of my replies related to my physical attributes 
A couple were quite accurate and a few were sort of thank you for my contributions to the forum.
Nothing vile so all good here  "
I’m starting to think that most people really didn’t understand what I wrote or just chose to completely ignore it in favour of flirting and flattery.
I must admit that I’m really disappointed in some people |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I wonder how many joined in to offer their views and opinions, but not open to receive.
That's very telling.
I think that the opposite was more common. People waiting for others to message for whatever reason. "
Yes. It happens quite a lot in threads like these. |
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"Most of my replies related to my physical attributes
A couple were quite accurate and a few were sort of thank you for my contributions to the forum.
Nothing vile so all good here
I’m starting to think that most people really didn’t understand what I wrote or just chose to completely ignore it in favour of flirting and flattery.
I must admit that I’m really disappointed in some people "
It's all good if it got people talking in the first place Don't despair |
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"Only one person messaged.
Thats twice I've done these threads and not had much response . Not sure what to make of it other than maybe I don't come across approachable or not known well enough. Either way it's all cool.
You do come across as approachable and you are friendly. Please don't think that you aren't.
I have my theories which I reiterated on the first thread. Human psyche is fluid, people may reply to fulfil other agendas.
Thank you but I'm actually feeling quite upset at some of the things that have come out of this today. I really wish I hadn't participated at all.
Don't take it to heart, please don't measure your self worth through the opinions (or not) of others, especially from the Internet. It never sits well that these type of "message the user" threads end up with people feeling left out or feeling 'unworthy' though I am sure it's not the intention of the OP, but that does not negate how it can make someone feel.
There are certain things that come up on fab time and time again. Both this time on fab and my previous stint.
Same words each time... Unobtainable, intimidating are two of them. I just hate the thought of being seen like that. "
People who actually know me in real life say that about me  . I would say don't worry too much about how people on the internet perceive you and actually appearing that way on the net isn't a bad thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have not gotten any responses when I played. And it's perfectly fine.
Of course it is and that is great. But as said above it is also fine that someone might feel not so great about it."
To be 100% honest i kick myself when I sign up for that sort of thread because I am setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
There are two types of people who will do well in that type of thread. People who are well know fixtures on threads and people with great photos. I am new to the forums and I don't show pics. So I shouldn't be upset when I don't get a reply because what can people say about me? And if a woman does say something nice us she just inviting a potential pest into her PMs
The problem isn't with the thread. The problem is with my expectations and the comparison in seeing other people get responses. |
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"I have not gotten any responses when I played. And it's perfectly fine.
Of course it is and that is great. But as said above it is also fine that someone might feel not so great about it.
To be 100% honest i kick myself when I sign up for that sort of thread because I am setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
There are two types of people who will do well in that type of thread. People who are well know fixtures on threads and people with great photos. I am new to the forums and I don't show pics. So I shouldn't be upset when I don't get a reply because what can people say about me? And if a woman does say something nice us she just inviting a potential pest into her PMs
The problem isn't with the thread. The problem is with my expectations and the comparison in seeing other people get responses. "
I have to slightly disagree here.
I’m not a well known fixture; and cameras smash when trying to take my picture lol
So there has to be a third type? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have not gotten any responses when I played. And it's perfectly fine.
Of course it is and that is great. But as said above it is also fine that someone might feel not so great about it.
To be 100% honest i kick myself when I sign up for that sort of thread because I am setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
There are two types of people who will do well in that type of thread. People who are well know fixtures on threads and people with great photos. I am new to the forums and I don't show pics. So I shouldn't be upset when I don't get a reply because what can people say about me? And if a woman does say something nice us she just inviting a potential pest into her PMs
The problem isn't with the thread. The problem is with my expectations and the comparison in seeing other people get responses.
I have to slightly disagree here.
I’m not a well known fixture; and cameras smash when trying to take my picture lol
So there has to be a third type?"
you are a well known flirt.
How you perceive yourself and how others see you are always different. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"I wonder how many joined in to offer their views and opinions, but not open to receive.
That's very telling. "
I closed my filters down in the evening as I started to have young men messaging me young men make me nervous! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most of my replies related to my physical attributes
A couple were quite accurate and a few were sort of thank you for my contributions to the forum.
Nothing vile so all good here
I’m starting to think that most people really didn’t understand what I wrote or just chose to completely ignore it in favour of flirting and flattery.
I must admit that I’m really disappointed in some people "
My thoughts that I sent to people were based on their forum posts. I hardly ever look at profiles so pics or text have no effect on my opinion. I didn't flirt or flatter anyone as there's really no point and they'd probably just think I was being creepy weird. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most of my replies related to my physical attributes
A couple were quite accurate and a few were sort of thank you for my contributions to the forum.
Nothing vile so all good here
I’m starting to think that most people really didn’t understand what I wrote or just chose to completely ignore it in favour of flirting and flattery.
I must admit that I’m really disappointed in some people "
There are many types of personalities, character types and they'll all behave differently, Some types will certainly benefit here and understand your perspective and hope behind your post.
Others will have a completely different view.
I personally loved the idea behind this.
I have to say though, it's not people you're disappointed in, but you're expectations that everyone will take the same stance and behave accordingly.
It's always going to be a risk giving people what they can perceive as an excuse to message someone they might otherwise not, in the hope it'll lead to somewhere this is based around.
This is not a criticism at all, just a different angle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have not gotten any responses when I played. And it's perfectly fine.
Of course it is and that is great. But as said above it is also fine that someone might feel not so great about it.
To be 100% honest i kick myself when I sign up for that sort of thread because I am setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
There are two types of people who will do well in that type of thread. People who are well know fixtures on threads and people with great photos. I am new to the forums and I don't show pics. So I shouldn't be upset when I don't get a reply because what can people say about me? And if a woman does say something nice us she just inviting a potential pest into her PMs
The problem isn't with the thread. The problem is with my expectations and the comparison in seeing other people get responses.
I have to slightly disagree here.
I’m not a well known fixture; and cameras smash when trying to take my picture lol
So there has to be a third type?"
Do not put yourself down, you are lovely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have not gotten any responses when I played. And it's perfectly fine.
Of course it is and that is great. But as said above it is also fine that someone might feel not so great about it.
To be 100% honest i kick myself when I sign up for that sort of thread because I am setting myself up for failure and disappointment.
There are two types of people who will do well in that type of thread. People who are well know fixtures on threads and people with great photos. I am new to the forums and I don't show pics. So I shouldn't be upset when I don't get a reply because what can people say about me? And if a woman does say something nice us she just inviting a potential pest into her PMs
The problem isn't with the thread. The problem is with my expectations and the comparison in seeing other people get responses.
I have to slightly disagree here.
I’m not a well known fixture; and cameras smash when trying to take my picture lol
So there has to be a third type?"
I'm still finding my feet and beginning to recognise profiles.
You're definitely familiar to me already |
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I didn't get one either. ¯\_("/)_/¯
Whatever, really. I realised early on that hitching your ideas of self-worth to the wagon that is Fab is bound to end in abysmal failure. It should have as its tagline "For novelty purposes only." |
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