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D/s DD/lg etc
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey  |
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Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change. "
Did you start in the dynamic your in now or has that changed over time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trust develops.....sometimes you are attracted to someone by something you cant put your finger on initially. Its like your inner self or instinct knows you better than you do. There might be a moment when one of you takes a chance and floats an idea or creates a situation to see if the other follows or takes the bait..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Trust develops.....sometimes you are attracted to someone by something you cant put your finger on initially. Its like your inner self or instinct knows you better than you do. There might be a moment when one of you takes a chance and floats an idea or creates a situation to see if the other follows or takes the bait....."
Love this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey "
good question.
For me and my wife it was retrospective. I learned about bdsm and that changed my perspective. When I then looked at my marriage I seen D/s hallmarks all over it. After that it was simple. My wife learned about bdsm and we had a long talk.
But now I can see things develop with other women and I can identify patterns of behaviour. (Sounds like I'm up my own hole but it's not like that)
I had a friend who developed D/s style bonds with me and I had to step away from that relationship because I couldn't provide her with everything she needed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Trust develops.....sometimes you are attracted to someone by something you cant put your finger on initially. Its like your inner self or instinct knows you better than you do. There might be a moment when one of you takes a chance and floats an idea or creates a situation to see if the other follows or takes the bait.....
Love this! "
Like when she calls you Daddy....and you look in her eyes and see its said to guage your reaction.....thats shes exposing her secret to you.....putting her trust even more in you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey
good question.
For me and my wife it was retrospective. I learned about bdsm and that changed my perspective. When I then looked at my marriage I seen D/s hallmarks all over it. After that it was simple. My wife learned about bdsm and we had a long talk.
But now I can see things develop with other women and I can identify patterns of behaviour. (Sounds like I'm up my own hole but it's not like that)
I had a friend who developed D/s style bonds with me and I had to step away from that relationship because I couldn't provide her with everything she needed. "
for a D/s to develop you need trust, respect and communication. Those are the pillars that everything else is built on. For exampl.
You need to trust me that I won't abuse you. I need to trust that you are telling me the truth about how you feel. I need to respect your right to say no and you need to respect my right to be demanding. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey
good question.
For me and my wife it was retrospective. I learned about bdsm and that changed my perspective. When I then looked at my marriage I seen D/s hallmarks all over it. After that it was simple. My wife learned about bdsm and we had a long talk.
But now I can see things develop with other women and I can identify patterns of behaviour. (Sounds like I'm up my own hole but it's not like that)
I had a friend who developed D/s style bonds with me and I had to step away from that relationship because I couldn't provide her with everything she needed. for a D/s to develop you need trust, respect and communication. Those are the pillars that everything else is built on. For exampl.
You need to trust me that I won't abuse you. I need to trust that you are telling me the truth about how you feel. I need to respect your right to say no and you need to respect my right to be demanding. "
I like that explanation. Definitely agree with the trust, respect and communication. |
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"Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change.
Did you start in the dynamic your in now or has that changed over time? "
Changed vastly over time, started as a non sexual D/s dynamic then into DDlg. But what dynamic we use very much depends on our mood. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change.
Did you start in the dynamic your in now or has that changed over time?
Changed vastly over time, started as a non sexual D/s dynamic then into DDlg. But what dynamic we use very much depends on our mood. "
So you don't always stick to the same one? I never thought about them being interchangeable. Just given me more to think about. Thank you lovely xx |
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I have no idea how our D/s dynamic unfolded, it just did! We've been together since we were at sixth form, but were friends before that and have known "of" each other since we were 11 etc. It just unfolded as it did  |
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"Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change.
Did you start in the dynamic your in now or has that changed over time?
Changed vastly over time, started as a non sexual D/s dynamic then into DDlg. But what dynamic we use very much depends on our mood.
So you don't always stick to the same one? I never thought about them being interchangeable. Just given me more to think about. Thank you lovely xx"
No we don't stick to the same one all the time. Sometimes I need something a bit more nuturing others I want to be a massive brat and my masochistic side is released. It's like sometimes you want to watch a romantic comedy the next day you want to watch a crime thriller x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change.
Did you start in the dynamic your in now or has that changed over time?
Changed vastly over time, started as a non sexual D/s dynamic then into DDlg. But what dynamic we use very much depends on our mood.
So you don't always stick to the same one? I never thought about them being interchangeable. Just given me more to think about. Thank you lovely xx"
A D/s is like every other relationship. Only more. Sometimes you don't feel playful. You want to be more serious. Or less serious. Or you want to be pushed. Or you want to get fucked like you are hated. But then cuddled and made feel small. .. that can be all in one day.
The labels used are not important. It's the relationship that matters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We first met in 2019, my first ever fab meet. I knew I had some submissive tendencies, but he recognised far more about me than I did, he has always read me and seen me completely.
Our second meet was the start of a D/s dynamic, but I was very unconvinced by Dd/lg, and remember telling him it wasn’t for me apparently he did an internal chuckle at that , he was right and I was wrong. It developed into that almost a year ago, and there’s been so much healing within our relationship. I’m a different person, with the help of his love, support, reassurance and care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We first met in 2019, my first ever fab meet. I knew I had some submissive tendencies, but he recognised far more about me than I did, he has always read me and seen me completely.
Our second meet was the start of a D/s dynamic, but I was very unconvinced by Dd/lg, and remember telling him it wasn’t for me apparently he did an internal chuckle at that , he was right and I was wrong. It developed into that almost a year ago, and there’s been so much healing within our relationship. I’m a different person, with the help of his love, support, reassurance and care. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Me personally, I get a feel for someone, if that feeling is just right I'll do that odd thing and talk with the person x"
 it was a genuine question, twat  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We first met in 2019, my first ever fab meet. I knew I had some submissive tendencies, but he recognised far more about me than I did, he has always read me and seen me completely.
Our second meet was the start of a D/s dynamic, but I was very unconvinced by Dd/lg, and remember telling him it wasn’t for me apparently he did an internal chuckle at that , he was right and I was wrong. It developed into that almost a year ago, and there’s been so much healing within our relationship. I’m a different person, with the help of his love, support, reassurance and care. "
Did it just develop naturally or was it talked about again and agreed beforehand? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We first met in 2019, my first ever fab meet. I knew I had some submissive tendencies, but he recognised far more about me than I did, he has always read me and seen me completely.
Our second meet was the start of a D/s dynamic, but I was very unconvinced by Dd/lg, and remember telling him it wasn’t for me apparently he did an internal chuckle at that , he was right and I was wrong. It developed into that almost a year ago, and there’s been so much healing within our relationship. I’m a different person, with the help of his love, support, reassurance and care.
Did it just develop naturally or was it talked about again and agreed beforehand? "
We discussed it a lot, quite a few times as I was really unsure, and agreed we’d try it.
I’m so glad we did, I love it, and it’s been a really beautiful transition in our relationship.
Our dynamic is very fluid, and is constantly evolving, but bases itself around that dynamic now. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Me and M started off being mates for ages. Then and I now can't remember for the life of me how we got on to the subject of BDSM but that's where it went. And I wanted to experience certain things with someone I trusted so it initially started as a non sexual BDSM dynamic. Well that kinda didn't last long and we started a relationship. With us we're quite relaxed about things things develop naturally at their own pace. We're forever evolving and I doubt that'll ever change.
Did you start in the dynamic your in now or has that changed over time?
Changed vastly over time, started as a non sexual D/s dynamic then into DDlg. But what dynamic we use very much depends on our mood.
So you don't always stick to the same one? I never thought about them being interchangeable. Just given me more to think about. Thank you lovely xx
A D/s is like every other relationship. Only more. Sometimes you don't feel playful. You want to be more serious. Or less serious. Or you want to be pushed. Or you want to get fucked like you are hated. But then cuddled and made feel small. .. that can be all in one day.
The labels used are not important. It's the relationship that matters "
It is indeed, I'm not good with lables at all, I just use them because they are widely known. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey "
it depends first what kind of dynamic do you want?
most of Ds relationship are established after communications then a good connections. So a lots are based on some knowledges about the other person, the trust established. With time that Ds developed naturally like a friendship as you would share more about each other life. But expect some Doms not doing this or maybe a sub doest want it either. So as you says, its something you would discuss with your potential Dom at the start. this is why its very important to ask as many questions as possible before jumping head on into a Ds relationship... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey
it depends first what kind of dynamic do you want?
most of Ds relationship are established after communications then a good connections. So a lots are based on some knowledges about the other person, the trust established. With time that Ds developed naturally like a friendship as you would share more about each other life. But expect some Doms not doing this or maybe a sub doest want it either. So as you says, its something you would discuss with your potential Dom at the start. this is why its very important to ask as many questions as possible before jumping head on into a Ds relationship..."
It was more just a general, hypothetical question than directly aimed at me in particular. Like I said, I'm nosey but also intrigued about how people do things or realised they ended up in a dynamic that just naturally fit. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We first met in 2019, my first ever fab meet. I knew I had some submissive tendencies, but he recognised far more about me than I did, he has always read me and seen me completely.
Our second meet was the start of a D/s dynamic, but I was very unconvinced by Dd/lg, and remember telling him it wasn’t for me apparently he did an internal chuckle at that , he was right and I was wrong. It developed into that almost a year ago, and there’s been so much healing within our relationship. I’m a different person, with the help of his love, support, reassurance and care.
Did it just develop naturally or was it talked about again and agreed beforehand?
We discussed it a lot, quite a few times as I was really unsure, and agreed we’d try it.
I’m so glad we did, I love it, and it’s been a really beautiful transition in our relationship.
Our dynamic is very fluid, and is constantly evolving, but bases itself around that dynamic now."
A few people have said the same about dynamics constantly changing etc which is something I hadn't thought about previously. Thank you for your response. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Me personally, I get a feel for someone, if that feeling is just right I'll do that odd thing and talk with the person x
it was a genuine question, twat
Yes, but I'm your twat
X"
*Blows raspberry and runs away* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I have no idea how our D/s dynamic unfolded, it just did! We've been together since we were at sixth form, but were friends before that and have known "of" each other since we were 11 etc. It just unfolded as it did "
Seems to be quite common for things to just naturally unfold and evolve. I like that, it makes everything seem a lot less clinical than it can come across when talking about stuff sometimes. |
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I can relate to all the above comments. Talking and evolving gradually even if you dont know what your need is a good d or dd will know and guide you.
Loving the fact that this thread is positive and no judging comments  
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"Me personally, I get a feel for someone, if that feeling is just right I'll do that odd thing and talk with the person x
it was a genuine question, twat
Yes, but I'm your twat
X
*Blows raspberry and runs away* "
Assume the position!  |
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This is interesting to read, I have never been in a relationship that has developed into a d/s one, my experience of d/s and my one experience of a dd/lg one have all started off as such from Fab, or other websites.
One of the d/s ones then moved a way from d/s to a much closer friendship which changed the dynamic totally.
the dd/lg thing was a one off for me but my personality made it hard to keep going (long story and not for forums lol).and so it ended amicably.
so how to develop it in the way the OP is talking is intruiging ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"How do you know when a dynamic has developed in a friendship / relationship? Do you discuss it and arrange a starting point? Does it just happen naturally and you find yourselves there without realising? Did you specifically go looking for a particular dynamic?
I'm intrigued and nosey
it depends first what kind of dynamic do you want?
most of Ds relationship are established after communications then a good connections. So a lots are based on some knowledges about the other person, the trust established. With time that Ds developed naturally like a friendship as you would share more about each other life. But expect some Doms not doing this or maybe a sub doest want it either. So as you says, its something you would discuss with your potential Dom at the start. this is why its very important to ask as many questions as possible before jumping head on into a Ds relationship...
It was more just a general, hypothetical question than directly aimed at me in particular. Like I said, I'm nosey but also intrigued about how people do things or realised they ended up in a dynamic that just naturally fit. "
Yes that’s fine, forum are for everyone to read 
Curiousity is good and knowledge even better. Having some insight about certain dynamics or Ds relationship makes the journey into bdsm less daunting, but at the end it’s a personal ones too and we all have a different way to live that type of relationship... it’s private and decisions are made between the sub and her Dom. But it’s also wise to ask for advice at any time if someone feel uncertain or something feel odd. |
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