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How would you feel?
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Just waking up this morning and seeing last night's forum antics, I really think people need to put themselves in the other person's shoes.
Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just waking up this morning and seeing last night's forum antics, I really think people need to put themselves in the other person's shoes.
Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
"
 Perfectly put |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just waking up this morning and seeing last night's forum antics, I really think people need to put themselves in the other person's shoes.
Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
"
Completely agree, people who I thought were nice, have gone down in my books, it’s pretty vile at times.
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It’s a difficult one. I had similar yesterday where I was having a bit of banter with a friend and for some reason someone I didn’t even know took it as a pop at them. Therefore making me look bad and I had done nothing at all! It can be quite upsetting and I’ve got a pretty thick skin on here usually. What happened last night was unfortunate but I do believe some of those people who started the later threads hadn’t seen the original one but nobody seems to have taken that into consideration hence they are now looking like the bad guys like I was which is equally unfair. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not sure most of it went as intended looking at it i think many times people get wrong end of the stick or even pick up the wrong stick completely everyone has different humour levels not sure much was intentionally nasty to anyone just badly judged is all like the football big 6 read the room kind of thing but whats done is done it did show a huge difference in the way some folk comment tho based on whos thread it was but meh its in the past time to move on to todays next drama |
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"Just waking up this morning and seeing last night's forum antics, I really think people need to put themselves in the other person's shoes.
Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Completely agree, people who I thought were nice, have gone down in my books, it’s pretty vile at times.
"
Exactly this!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally agree with this post, seems to be a lot of insensitive and cruel people around at the moment that take such joy from other people's unhappiness to gain themselves some popularity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s an online forum where people can do as they please, and we have admin to stop those who cross a line.
If people want to make 100 versions of a thread that’s their choice, and people need stop trying police things and getting offended on behalf of others.
If I put a post up and I ask for opinions, I would expect some of them to be negative, because... yano: honesty, humans, trolls...
Be kind is a lovely concept, but so unrealistic!
Otherwise history wouldn’t be full of such horrific tragedies because we could all stomp our feet shouting be kind and it’s unfair.
And we’ll ever new thread, every new comment that discuss this matter, quite simply is keeping this topic going longer and stopping it being forgotten. |
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"It’s an online forum where people can do as they please, and we have admin to stop those who cross a line.
If people want to make 100 versions of a thread that’s their choice, and people need stop trying police things and getting offended on behalf of others.
If I put a post up and I ask for opinions, I would expect some of them to be negative, because... yano: honesty, humans, trolls...
Be kind is a lovely concept, but so unrealistic!
Otherwise history wouldn’t be full of such horrific tragedies because we could all stomp our feet shouting be kind and it’s unfair.
And we’ll ever new thread, every new comment that discuss this matter, quite simply is keeping this topic going longer and stopping it being forgotten. "
Agree with that last paragraph! There’s enough threads! It should just be left to die now poor woman! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just waking up this morning and seeing last night's forum antics, I really think people need to put themselves in the other person's shoes.
Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Completely agree, people who I thought were nice, have gone down in my books, it’s pretty vile at times.
Exactly this!!"
As my old gran used to say, “ if you’ve nothing nice to say, f£&k off |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
This doesn’t help.
I don’t think all the threads were meant as a piss take. But how can you tell which ones were? And yet everyone is turning on them and giving them aggro. That’s not kind either is it?
If so bothered everyone all should have reported it, they would have been down in a flash then. Not lingering around.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This doesn’t help.
I don’t think all the threads were meant as a piss take. But how can you tell which ones were? And yet everyone is turning on them and giving them aggro. That’s not kind either is it?
If so bothered everyone all should have reported it, they would have been down in a flash then. Not lingering around.
"
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I hope those that participated in last nights ridiculing of someone who asked a genuine question and may have already been quite vulnerable, have a good hard think about their actions and what could possibly result from it.
This forum degenerated into playground bullying at one point, which is completely unacceptable.
Malicious or not, it should not have occurred and those involved have actually shocked me with their thoughtlessness.
Be kind |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"At no point have I said what this refers to, except the forums were disappointing last night.
If you're feeling guilty, perhaps you know you've acted unkindly."
It’s not rocket science. It’s pretty obvious. Credit folk with some intelligence. |
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"This doesn’t help.
I don’t think all the threads were meant as a piss take. But how can you tell which ones were? And yet everyone is turning on them and giving them aggro. That’s not kind either is it?
If so bothered everyone all should have reported it, they would have been down in a flash then. Not lingering around.
"
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Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules. |
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"Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules. "
Essentially yes, numerous similar threads created mocking the original, which was actually quite a brave and thought provoking one |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
I agree with what you’re saying about people being affected by this last year, far more than most will admit and far more than anyone can tell right now.
In terms of being kind, yes that important, it’s also important to be honest, to be true to yourself and if someone is unkind, to defend yourself.
I’ve found myself in the position of being ‘attacked’ far more recently, having my motives questioned and my comments twisted. My honest and true reaction was to defend myself.
Perhaps instead of “be kind” the phrase should be “be an adult” and talk things through quietly with those that irk you?
None of us know what anyone else is going through, perhaps letting a person know when they’ve crossed your line would be better?
Being kind is a two way street and I’ve often found it thrown out by people who have taken the first unkind step or misinterpreted a post, ascribed their own tone and meaning to words that they misread.
It’s a reality that people who are struggling lash out as well.
In all honesty, I don’t know what the answer is but I generally find that asking people to be kind is a nice sentiment with little weight behind it and even less action followed through |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This doesn’t help.
I don’t think all the threads were meant as a piss take. But how can you tell which ones were? And yet everyone is turning on them and giving them aggro. That’s not kind either is it?
If so bothered everyone all should have reported it, they would have been down in a flash then. Not lingering around.
"
I agree with this. The mood on Forum yesterday seemed quite tense and wild and I thought most of the threads referred to were a late night attempt to lighten the mood and certainly not aimed at any individual. I joined in with one of them and honestly don't feel I have anything to apologise for, but I respect the opposite opinion. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules.
Essentially yes, numerous similar threads created mocking the original, which was actually quite a brave and thought provoking one"
I don’t necessarily agree.
People tend to see thread titles, only read a few responses (because; effort) then post their own thread.
It’s often not that people are mocking but a reflection, reaction or pastiche of the original thread.
Ascribing intent to these kinds of threads is only adding to the furore |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules.
Essentially yes, numerous similar threads created mocking the original, which was actually quite a brave and thought provoking one"
See I disagree with this. At least one was created because essentially deep down they probably felt the same as the lady in question.
I didn’t read all of them, because it started to clog up the forum so I logged off. Last time that happened Mods came in and deleted all and told everyone to stop creating those threads, and I know they are not online 24/7 but essentially they are the ones that other folk take notice off. Because they wield powers.
These threads just prolong the matter and cause bad feeling. I know they are meant well.
If enough folk ignored or just reported them then they would quietly die. But they don’t do they, because folk love the drama. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules.
Essentially yes, numerous similar threads created mocking the original, which was actually quite a brave and thought provoking one
I don’t necessarily agree.
People tend to see thread titles, only read a few responses (because; effort) then post their own thread.
It’s often not that people are mocking but a reflection, reaction or pastiche of the original thread.
Ascribing intent to these kinds of threads is only adding to the furore"
Walking encyclopedia haha |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
"
And yet by the very nature of this post you're casting a stone on those who posted on particular threads and not particularly being kind or understanding of someone's emotional wellbeing at the moment.
This isn't a particularly nice thread, it's clearly targeted and yet you've posted it. You can private message the OPs to discuss it with them? The irony is something else.
The threads were clearly an attempt to lighten the mood - how do you know they were based on the OP? They might not have necessarily been satire of the original thread, more that people agreed or were doing an experiment to see how people would post in response to different genders. We all have different ways of interpreting it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules.
Essentially yes, numerous similar threads created mocking the original, which was actually quite a brave and thought provoking one
I don’t necessarily agree.
People tend to see thread titles, only read a few responses (because; effort) then post their own thread.
It’s often not that people are mocking but a reflection, reaction or pastiche of the original thread.
Ascribing intent to these kinds of threads is only adding to the furore"
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This thread is also providing that people have different opinions on what is or isn't acceptable - which is what happens in any group of people
I didn't personally think there was anything especially untoward in the original thread last night - a few comments meant to to be more light hearted than others maybe, but that happens on any thread. Especially if they really take off
And, as was pointed out at the time, if it had been a man who'd started the thread they'd have had a very different response. Be kind seems to apply differently according to the OPs gender, which is another example of double standards on here but that's an entirely separate debate |
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"Didn't see what happened but I suspect pack mentality, yes?
One person attempts a 'funny' retort and others jump on board and completely detail thd thread?
In response to someone saying that admin/mods should be the ones sorting it out, of course they have ultimate say but I think as a community we have a responsibility to call out unwanted behaviours as well.
Mods are volunteer site users and are not around 24/7. We should be able to challenge appropriately (perhaps that's where the problem is) inside reporting threads or comments for breaking site rules.
Essentially yes, numerous similar threads created mocking the original, which was actually quite a brave and thought provoking one
I don’t necessarily agree.
People tend to see thread titles, only read a few responses (because; effort) then post their own thread.
It’s often not that people are mocking but a reflection, reaction or pastiche of the original thread.
Ascribing intent to these kinds of threads is only adding to the furore"
True. I wrote this before u had looked at any of the threads and can see that on the first thread all responses were supportive of the op.
That being said surely others can see that having a swathe of threads started with pretty much the same title and theme comes across as taking the piss out of them. I'd like to give the forums some credit for that amount of intelligence at least! |
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I've since searched the forum. I had not seen the original thread where the lady posed the question.
When I made mine I was genuinely just banter posting to try to lighten what felt like a negative day on there.
Sincere apologies it was not my intention to cause pain. Any if you who know me know that is simply not my style and is unlikely ever to be.
Again apologies to original thread lady.
I did not intend to hurt or take the piss. My intent was, as always simply to make folk smile x |
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I went to bed half way through the original thread. That's all that I can see is that this thread is adding fuel to the fire (I had to go look what you were talking about).
If I was the op of the original thread, this one would not help how I'm feeling. I would want all this to go away. You may have spoken to the op and she was happy for this thread to be posted, I don't know. |
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"Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
And yet by the very nature of this post you're casting a stone on those who posted on particular threads and not particularly being kind or understanding of someone's emotional wellbeing at the moment.
This isn't a particularly nice thread, it's clearly targeted and yet you've posted it. You can private message the OPs to discuss it with them? The irony is something else.
The threads were clearly an attempt to lighten the mood - how do you know they were based on the OP? They might not have necessarily been satire of the original thread, more that people agreed or were doing an experiment to see how people would post in response to different genders. We all have different ways of interpreting it."
Well said. Totally agree |
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"I've since searched the forum. I had not seen the original thread where the lady posed the question.
When I made mine I was genuinely just banter posting to try to lighten what felt like a negative day on there.
Sincere apologies it was not my intention to cause pain. Any if you who know me know that is simply not my style and is unlikely ever to be.
Again apologies to original thread lady.
I did not intend to hurt or take the piss. My intent was, as always simply to make folk smile x"
Which is what I’ve been trying to say all morning! But seem to have been ignored. Is that because I’m right and people won’t admit it or they’re too busy with their pitchforks!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here  |
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"I've since searched the forum. I had not seen the original thread where the lady posed the question.
When I made mine I was genuinely just banter posting to try to lighten what felt like a negative day on there.
Sincere apologies it was not my intention to cause pain. Any if you who know me know that is simply not my style and is unlikely ever to be.
Again apologies to original thread lady.
I did not intend to hurt or take the piss. My intent was, as always simply to make folk smile x
Which is what I’ve been trying to say all morning! But seem to have been ignored. Is that because I’m right and people won’t admit it or they’re too busy with their pitchforks! "
Well I've apologised and asked admin to remove my thread.
I dont see what else can be done other than to drop it for the original persons sake. If she wishes to inbox me so I can apologise in person that's fine but other than that I'm not going to comment as it drags the issue on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here "
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about |
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By *gent CoulsonMan
over a year ago
Secret hideaway in the pennines |
It is easy to feel left out or unwanted or ignored, some people find it hard to stand out and get lost in the multiple directions that some threads take.
Does it bother me, sometimes yes, I know I am physically, not the most fanciable person on here, but I join in, I will pm people, I have sent the person in question a few PMS, some she has responded to, some she hasn't, but that is the same across the site in general.
Maybe I am too much of a gentleman, and maybe I am too nice, but that is me, how I was brought up, it is nice to be nice, it is right to consider other people's feelings, none of us really know what is going on in each others lives, what crap they are dealing with on a day to day basis. For a lot of us at the moment, the forums will be the most social contact we actually make with the outside world.
I had a blowout with someone a few days ago for a flippant comment he made on a post, and let fly with both barrels, because he caught me at a emotional time because of the nature of the thread, so I totally agree with if you can't say anything constructive or nice, dont say anything ag all |
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"I've since searched the forum. I had not seen the original thread where the lady posed the question.
When I made mine I was genuinely just banter posting to try to lighten what felt like a negative day on there.
Sincere apologies it was not my intention to cause pain. Any if you who know me know that is simply not my style and is unlikely ever to be.
Again apologies to original thread lady.
I did not intend to hurt or take the piss. My intent was, as always simply to make folk smile x
Which is what I’ve been trying to say all morning! But seem to have been ignored. Is that because I’m right and people won’t admit it or they’re too busy with their pitchforks! "
It's all assumptions and theories on both 'sides'. The op on the original thread commented on how the other threads made her feel so despite the 'innocent' intentions of others they clearly were not received by all. Why can't they be challenged? Why can't people point out that sometimes lightening the mood isn't the result no matter how good the intention was?
No one will come to a concensus on this and perhaps that's down to previous forum experience. If you've never felt put down or ridiculed or picked on then you won't understand how that feels and won't react the same when you see it happen to others, no matter if it was intended or not.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about "
Look at me, look at me mentality, then try to say there not popular, n all that bs, hypocrisy is so rife on the forums |
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about "
The irony of an unpopular thread becoming popular 
I thought it was a genius idea, that one, Noochie, although my attempt at carrying it on got left behind in favour of an alternative one by a more popular forumite 
Most of my threads die these days, meaning I'm obviously even less popular than I thought.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm probably going to live to regret this but when I posted my thread I had no intention of upsetting or taking the piss out of the original thread in fact I even started the thread by giving a compliment to the original OP of the first thread calling her sexy and wholr heartedly meaning it. I didn't know others would also do threads and I admitted on my thread that perhaps it was ill judged. If I have caused any upset or distress to anyone I apologise unreservedly id never intentionally upset anyone. I hope now that these thread are left to drop off the forums and left alone and I hope the original OP of the first thread knows that she is both respected and highly thought of by myself and I'm sure others on fab |
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"I've since searched the forum. I had not seen the original thread where the lady posed the question.
When I made mine I was genuinely just banter posting to try to lighten what felt like a negative day on there.
Sincere apologies it was not my intention to cause pain. Any if you who know me know that is simply not my style and is unlikely ever to be.
Again apologies to original thread lady.
I did not intend to hurt or take the piss. My intent was, as always simply to make folk smile x
Which is what I’ve been trying to say all morning! But seem to have been ignored. Is that because I’m right and people won’t admit it or they’re too busy with their pitchforks!
It's all assumptions and theories on both 'sides'. The op on the original thread commented on how the other threads made her feel so despite the 'innocent' intentions of others they clearly were not received by all. Why can't they be challenged? Why can't people point out that sometimes lightening the mood isn't the result no matter how good the intention was?
No one will come to a concensus on this and perhaps that's down to previous forum experience. If you've never felt put down or ridiculed or picked on then you won't understand how that feels and won't react the same when you see it happen to others, no matter if it was intended or not.
"
I have many times! As I mentioned before.
I don’t see how it’s fair at all though to lay into people who hadn’t seen the original thread! I honestly can’t see how people can’t understand this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here "
This is spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For those who didnt see the original thread......fair enough.
Far more are saying this than is true aswell though.
For those who DID see the original thread, and the point where the OP said that people were mocking her, then you deserve to be called out.
Why would you do something like that?
Why would I inbox someone when it was a public shitshow.
I will publically defend anyone I felt was being bullied like that.
If you don't like me for that, theb so be it. Do I care? Absolutely not.
Feel free to hit the block button |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about "
It’s a strange place mate, I’ve been in it less that 2 weeks, and I probably ruffle a few feathers, but tough! I try to chat to all and there’s definitely a male hierarchy, clique feel to some threads.
But fuck it! Jump in and take your place around the watering hole pal.
I’ll always shift over a little |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I know the feeling well, I'm in kind of a dark place at the moment, due to some of the things on Fab, but I refuse to let it drive me all the way down!! |
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"I've since searched the forum. I had not seen the original thread where the lady posed the question.
When I made mine I was genuinely just banter posting to try to lighten what felt like a negative day on there.
Sincere apologies it was not my intention to cause pain. Any if you who know me know that is simply not my style and is unlikely ever to be.
Again apologies to original thread lady.
I did not intend to hurt or take the piss. My intent was, as always simply to make folk smile x
Which is what I’ve been trying to say all morning! But seem to have been ignored. Is that because I’m right and people won’t admit it or they’re too busy with their pitchforks!
It's all assumptions and theories on both 'sides'. The op on the original thread commented on how the other threads made her feel so despite the 'innocent' intentions of others they clearly were not received by all. Why can't they be challenged? Why can't people point out that sometimes lightening the mood isn't the result no matter how good the intention was?
No one will come to a concensus on this and perhaps that's down to previous forum experience. If you've never felt put down or ridiculed or picked on then you won't understand how that feels and won't react the same when you see it happen to others, no matter if it was intended or not.
I have many times! As I mentioned before.
I don’t see how it’s fair at all though to lay into people who hadn’t seen the original thread! I honestly can’t see how people can’t understand this. "
I think 'laying in to' is a tad strong and actually I've seen several comments from prole saying that if the subsequent threads were started by those who hadn't seen the original thread then they apologised.
In fact for those of us who did not see it happen at the time there was no reference to any threads at all. People came on here and willingly put their heads above the parapet by saying it was about their threads. |
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about "
They do it on every post!! But you hit the nail on the head! Guess we are lucky not to be in that gang! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about
It’s a strange place mate, I’ve been in it less that 2 weeks, and I probably ruffle a few feathers, but tough! I try to chat to all and there’s definitely a male hierarchy, clique feel to some threads.
But fuck it! Jump in and take your place around the watering hole pal.
I’ll always shift over a little "
The hierarchy and clique feeling is not gender specific, it's very present and obvious to see |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about
They do it on every post!! But you hit the nail on the head! Guess we are lucky not to be in that gang! "
Dont judge us all the same.
Feel free to see my comments and throwing any regular forumite into the same category is also shitty behaviour |
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"The moral arbiters of the forums are busy this morning
Its sad to mocking of people who are simply asking us all to be kind to each other."
This thread just proves the moral compass of the forums.
We'll dip in and out, but we'll be lying low until meets section reopens.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you get nasty treatment online treat it the same way you would in person.
People are brave on keyboards but when it comes to seeing who's who very rarely to the turn up.
Anyone disrespectful to you on here block them immediately, report to admin and leave them where they are..... Alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about
It’s a strange place mate, I’ve been in it less that 2 weeks, and I probably ruffle a few feathers, but tough! I try to chat to all and there’s definitely a male hierarchy, clique feel to some threads.
But fuck it! Jump in and take your place around the watering hole pal.
I’ll always shift over a little
The hierarchy and clique feeling is not gender specific, it's very present and obvious to see "
True, but I talking about my experience on here pal... I can’t speak for others |
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I watched it all unfold last night, the woman who made the original post was genuinely upset about it all and I really hope she hasn't left for good and is ok, she opened up and had plenty of support (on her thread) just a shame that grown adults had to then mock the original. Hopefully the admins remove all the threads to do with this. |
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about
It’s a strange place mate, I’ve been in it less that 2 weeks, and I probably ruffle a few feathers, but tough! I try to chat to all and there’s definitely a male hierarchy, clique feel to some threads.
But fuck it! Jump in and take your place around the watering hole pal.
I’ll always shift over a little
The hierarchy and clique feeling is not gender specific, it's very present and obvious to see "
This doesn’t help either. Who is the clique and hierarchy? People who get involved in threads and try and make the place fun? I like you but I read that thread yesterday and to be perfectly honest it was your comments I wasn’t at all comfortable with.
I’m so sad at what the forum has become. |
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here
Lol...I started a thread about being unpopular....soon that thread was taken over by the "popular " people....they suffer from fomo...any thread they have to be on regardless of what its about
They do it on every post!! But you hit the nail on the head! Guess we are lucky not to be in that gang!
Dont judge us all the same.
Feel free to see my comments and throwing any regular forumite into the same category is also shitty behaviour"
Sorry if you felt i was aiming this at you! I was not , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The moral arbiters of the forums are busy this morning
Its sad to mocking of people who are simply asking us all to be kind to each other."
Cause everything is that binary and there’s no place for nuance. |
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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago
Stirling |
Personally I found what I seen of the threads to be likened to high school mentality, this is supposed to be a place for escapism and a site for sexually liberated people, we all have differing opinions but we should think more wisely about how we deliver them, there is zero tone to txt and things can be misconstrued.
I think people should be allowed to speak there own mind but never in a deliberate attempt to undermine someone else. There are thousands of people on here and yes some people are more active in the forums and then tarred with the ‘popular’ label, I’m of the opinion you are simply more recognisable if you spend more time on the forums, we all have something to offer. It’s not a should never be a case of being in a clique or gang - were all adults here and should be able to respect each other. |
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The forums used to be quite a fun place to be. But sadly over the years (and more of late) Someone posts a thread asking for advice or a simple question and then the piss taking starts. And the excuse I see alot is "its a public forum anyone can post"
I do hope the lady is feeling ok today.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The moral arbiters of the forums are busy this morning
Its sad to mocking of people who are simply asking us all to be kind to each other.
Cause everything is that binary and there’s no place for nuance."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm probably going to live to regret this but when I posted my thread I had no intention of upsetting or taking the piss out of the original thread in fact I even started the thread by giving a compliment to the original OP of the first thread calling her sexy and wholr heartedly meaning it. I didn't know others would also do threads and I admitted on my thread that perhaps it was ill judged. If I have caused any upset or distress to anyone I apologise unreservedly id never intentionally upset anyone. I hope now that these thread are left to drop off the forums and left alone and I hope the original OP of the first thread knows that she is both respected and highly thought of by myself and I'm sure others on fab"
Why apologise? Isn't the point of the forums to express yourself? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here "
I'm a newbie and have never had that experience, in fact several 'popular' regulars have gone out of their way to be friendly and welcoming to me. Its not binary as CityJeans has already said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm probably going to live to regret this but when I posted my thread I had no intention of upsetting or taking the piss out of the original thread in fact I even started the thread by giving a compliment to the original OP of the first thread calling her sexy and wholr heartedly meaning it. I didn't know others would also do threads and I admitted on my thread that perhaps it was ill judged. If I have caused any upset or distress to anyone I apologise unreservedly id never intentionally upset anyone. I hope now that these thread are left to drop off the forums and left alone and I hope the original OP of the first thread knows that she is both respected and highly thought of by myself and I'm sure others on fab
Why apologise? Isn't the point of the forums to express yourself? "
Because he wants too? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The forums used to be quite a fun place to be. But sadly over the years (and more of late) Someone posts a thread asking for advice or a simple question and then the piss taking starts. And the excuse I see alot is "its a public forum anyone can post"
I do hope the lady is feeling ok today.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The moral arbiters of the forums are busy this morning
Its sad to mocking of people who are simply asking us all to be kind to each other.
Cause everything is that binary and there’s no place for nuance."
I guess we are lucky to have such educated people on here who can help us binary thickies and our simplistic requests for people to be nice to each other  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good morning.
I’m not sitting on a high horse in judgment. Merely stating what I observed, yesterday, as someone rather new to the Forum.
I have never experienced bullying, nastiness and meanness as I had seen and experienced yesterday. Perhaps I live in a very sheltered world. Even before the shenanigans of last night, I had faced some meanness off a thread earlier in the day.
I had asked someone politely, respectfully and diplomatically, by private message, to do the decent thing and desist from publicly bullying and throwing abuse about someone they do not know personally. Some of us are here for the distraction it gives to our very real issues in the real world. We may behave here in ways that we wouldn’t dream of doing offline.
Their reply was sarcastic, rude and uncalled for. I disengaged from them as it was clearly an exercise in futility. I have ignored further messages from them.
To abuse in ignorance is excusable. To persist with some facts in hand is utterly reprehensible, disgusting and unforgivable.
For those who wish to sit in judgement of what I have said, have at it. I shan’t retort. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just to state that the bullying in the thread was not targeted at me but it was very unpleasant to see it targeted at someone else, regardless of how we feel about another member. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
It was like word porn. I loved it! "
Now YOU, I know you’re taking the mickey.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
Yes I am us geordies are known to be thick "
Now I KNOW you’re taking the mickey!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
Yes I am us geordies are known to be thick "
Tea Monkey for me haha, dudes got words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just waking up this morning and seeing last night's forum antics, I really think people need to put themselves in the other person's shoes.
Whatever happened to be kind?
To use the old forum term "you know who you are".
Everyone has heightened emotions atm, you never know someone's emotional well being.
Says a lot about you how you post on here.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
"
Well said positive vibes only please  |
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey. "
I thought it was an extremely well thought out and erudite post my good man! |
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
It was like word porn. I loved it!
Now YOU, I know you’re taking the mickey. "
I was not. God's honest. It was beautifully written.
I may come across as an illiterate fool at times, who relys on crass language and poor grammer but I do enjoy a well written post.
|
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Big words turn me on loved that comment!
pulchritudinous
In my A-Level english class the teacher asked us to use words that meant beautiful and began with P. I banged out pulchritudinous and never felt such a nerd yet so cool at the same time  "
You guys are making me feel highly aroused.. haha x |
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey. "
I really wasn’t being nasty.. was digging myself out to be fair  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Big words turn me on loved that comment!
pulchritudinous
In my A-Level english class the teacher asked us to use words that meant beautiful and began with P. I banged out pulchritudinous and never felt such a nerd yet so cool at the same time
You guys are making me feel highly aroused.. haha x "
Lasciviously salacious
I just wanted to say that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Big words turn me on loved that comment!
pulchritudinous
In my A-Level english class the teacher asked us to use words that meant beautiful and began with P. I banged out pulchritudinous and never felt such a nerd yet so cool at the same time
You guys are making me feel highly aroused.. haha x
Lasciviously salacious
I just wanted to say that "
I feel like if I tried say that I’d end up spitting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
I really wasn’t being nasty.. was digging myself out to be fair "
I know you were. That is exactly how the Forum ought to be. Friendly banter and mickey taking. |
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"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
I really wasn’t being nasty.. was digging myself out to be fair
I know you were. That is exactly how the Forum ought to be. Friendly banter and mickey taking. "
Ahh cool , can i see your willy now then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can well stop using big words.. am not the brightest
Second this haha
Sorry, do you mean me? I wrote it as I speak. I hope you’re taking the mickey.
I really wasn’t being nasty.. was digging myself out to be fair
I know you were. That is exactly how the Forum ought to be. Friendly banter and mickey taking. "
Ask with big words. |
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A comment was made on the original thread regarding the difference in empathy when a man post a similar thread compared to when a woman does .
Which is a valid point as men get shot down by both genders when they do .
Anyway the OP's reply to that comment was "oi go and get your own thread" which he did.
And of course some people had no issue letting him know why they didn't find him fanciable .
So it seems to me that "be kind" only applies to women , men's feelings aren't as valid .
I'm not only referring to that thread , generally the less confident or attractive or witty even just newish guys gets a harsher deal. And mostly no one bats an eyelid when a man is on the receiving hand.
I gess my point is be supportive of anyone struggling regardless of whether they have a vag or a cock .
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A comment was made on the original thread regarding the difference in empathy when a man post a similar thread compared to when a woman does .
Which is a valid point as men get shot down by both genders when they do .
Anyway the OP's reply to that comment was "oi go and get your own thread" which he did.
And of course some people had no issue letting him know why they didn't find him fanciable .
So it seems to me that "be kind" only applies to women , men's feelings aren't as valid .
I'm not only referring to that thread , generally the less confident or attractive or witty even just newish guys gets a harsher deal. And mostly no one bats an eyelid when a man is on the receiving hand.
I gess my point is be supportive of anyone struggling regardless of whether they have a vag or a cock .
"
I commented on all the "jokey" threads.
Gender or friendship status played no part.
The mod has pulled them all now and made a note on the original thread now though, which I think fits perfectly, and this will be the last I say on it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A comment was made on the original thread regarding the difference in empathy when a man post a similar thread compared to when a woman does .
Which is a valid point as men get shot down by both genders when they do .
Anyway the OP's reply to that comment was "oi go and get your own thread" which he did.
And of course some people had no issue letting him know why they didn't find him fanciable .
So it seems to me that "be kind" only applies to women , men's feelings aren't as valid .
I'm not only referring to that thread , generally the less confident or attractive or witty even just newish guys gets a harsher deal. And mostly no one bats an eyelid when a man is on the receiving hand.
I gess my point is be supportive of anyone struggling regardless of whether they have a vag or a cock .
"
Hear! Hear! I read that thread as well and made a comment at the end of it.
The harsher replies were considered acceptable and he should take it like a man. A woman would not have been told the same sentiments by a man lest he be skinned alive and tossed into the darkest depths of hell to burn for eternity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A comment was made on the original thread regarding the difference in empathy when a man post a similar thread compared to when a woman does .
Which is a valid point as men get shot down by both genders when they do .
Anyway the OP's reply to that comment was "oi go and get your own thread" which he did.
And of course some people had no issue letting him know why they didn't find him fanciable .
So it seems to me that "be kind" only applies to women , men's feelings aren't as valid .
I'm not only referring to that thread , generally the less confident or attractive or witty even just newish guys gets a harsher deal. And mostly no one bats an eyelid when a man is on the receiving hand.
I gess my point is be supportive of anyone struggling regardless of whether they have a vag or a cock .
I commented on all the "jokey" threads.
Gender or friendship status played no part.
The mod has pulled them all now and made a note on the original thread now though, which I think fits perfectly, and this will be the last I say on it."
I saw Ivy. You, Sophie and very few others were swimming against the tide. Only people like you could have got out alive. It was good to see. |
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Although i personally do always try to be kind you do risk when posting on a public forum a huge range of responses. I would suggest if you are feeling fragile that you instead reach out to a friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A comment was made on the original thread regarding the difference in empathy when a man post a similar thread compared to when a woman does .
Which is a valid point as men get shot down by both genders when they do .
Anyway the OP's reply to that comment was "oi go and get your own thread" which he did.
And of course some people had no issue letting him know why they didn't find him fanciable .
So it seems to me that "be kind" only applies to women , men's feelings aren't as valid .
I'm not only referring to that thread , generally the less confident or attractive or witty even just newish guys gets a harsher deal. And mostly no one bats an eyelid when a man is on the receiving hand.
I gess my point is be supportive of anyone struggling regardless of whether they have a vag or a cock .
"
There are some smart, kind, observant, funny and nice people on the thread and in fab. Lets spread the legs......I mean love |
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"A comment was made on the original thread regarding the difference in empathy when a man post a similar thread compared to when a woman does .
Which is a valid point as men get shot down by both genders when they do .
Anyway the OP's reply to that comment was "oi go and get your own thread" which he did.
And of course some people had no issue letting him know why they didn't find him fanciable .
So it seems to me that "be kind" only applies to women , men's feelings aren't as valid .
I'm not only referring to that thread , generally the less confident or attractive or witty even just newish guys gets a harsher deal. And mostly no one bats an eyelid when a man is on the receiving hand.
I gess my point is be supportive of anyone struggling regardless of whether they have a vag or a cock .
"
I made (or at least tried to make) this exact point in my earlier comment on this thread, but it seems to have been completely ignored.
But life on the forum does seem to ebb and flow like that,in that same days you're more popular than others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The moral arbiters of the forums are busy this morning
Its sad to mocking of people who are simply asking us all to be kind to each other.
Cause everything is that binary and there’s no place for nuance.
I guess we are lucky to have such educated people on here who can help us binary thickies and our simplistic requests for people to be nice to each other "
Your sarcastic tone and mocking laughter has hurt my feelings!
Please #BeKind
Now, do you see how it’s not binary ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The popular Forumites seem to be able to take the piss out of anybody and get away with it. And the newish people get ripped into and scared off. It's a recurring pattern, had been for years. I'm saddened at how mean people can be here "
Couldn't agree more.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The moral arbiters of the forums are busy this morning
Its sad to mocking of people who are simply asking us all to be kind to each other.
Cause everything is that binary and there’s no place for nuance.
I guess we are lucky to have such educated people on here who can help us binary thickies and our simplistic requests for people to be nice to each other
Your sarcastic tone and mocking laughter has hurt my feelings!
Please #BeKind
Now, do you see how it’s not binary ? "
I would suggest that the sarcasm started with your original post. Your binary comment could also be seen as unkind to peoples intelligence.
So yes... lets stop and be nice to each other. Love you
Xx |
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