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Getting bolder
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In recent weeks we have had two regular forumites go public with face photos after a long time keeping them private. (I won't embarrass them by naming them here but they may end up posting here.) Is this a trend or just a coincidence? Is the perceived stigma of being on a site for swingers declining?
I can't see us going public although we're happy to share face photos privately with people we trust. Are there Fabbers out there on the fence about going public? What might tip you in that direction? Or did something happen leading you to choose to go public? Have you gone public and then gone private?
All thoughts and experiences about showing the Fab world your face and becoming recognisable gratefully received. |
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I decided to keep my face pic up permanently now because I was tired of just being a cock.
Turns out putting a face pic up doesn’t stop you being a cock, meh.
I’m 46 this year, single, alone, I can’t get fired for it ergo: I don’t care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't used to have face pics but a series of events such as my boss messaging me saying fancy you being on here, plenty of people replying to my face pic with oh I recognise you from your work and some arsehole screenshot ting my profile and sending it to my mum left me like  whatever mmay as well just be open and upfront and that way no one has the ability to try shame me or hole it over my head, it's all on my terms |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire? "
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
|
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"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
"
 |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
"
As I pointed out then.... I'd have more money if that were the case. |
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"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
As I pointed out then.... I'd have more money if that were the case."
People said that on FB though?? I hope you blocked em xx |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
As I pointed out then.... I'd have more money if that were the case.
People said that on FB though?? I hope you blocked em xx"
Oh sweetie..... you know me better that that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
As I pointed out then.... I'd have more money if that were the case.
People said that on FB though?? I hope you blocked em xx"
Makes you wonder what tragic little lives they had if they made an effort so contact you like that. What afterwards? Did they sit there feeling all self righteous  |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I would never do it... My job would be at risk
This. I'm certainly constrained by the small environment where I live and the high profile role I have.
*whispers* he's the prime minister! "
Damn...my office has more leaks than a crusty faucet!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have always had public face pics... I am doing nothing I am ashamed of nor care what other people think of that, or me... I will never have a job where it would matter either so, why not? Plus, sometimes I quite like my face |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would never do it... My job would be at risk
This. I'm certainly constrained by the small environment where I live and the high profile role I have.
*whispers* he's the prime minister! "
*hopes it’s the Love Actually one that dances and says fack |
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"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
"
Surely to have seen you they have to be on here themselves so it's a bit rich to call you anything! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I figured a year ago I didnt actually have anything to lose.
Photos are more fun now than beheading myself
Have you had any negative side effects, Ivy? "
Someone told my ex husband, and had messages saying "were you at this place today" with them being right about 30% of the time
Nothing that overly bothers me tbh |
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"I would never do it... My job would be at risk
This. I'm certainly constrained by the small environment where I live and the high profile role I have.
*whispers* he's the prime minister!
Damn...my office has more leaks than a crusty faucet! "
|
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"I would never do it... My job would be at risk
This. I'm certainly constrained by the small environment where I live and the high profile role I have.
*whispers* he's the prime minister!
*hopes it’s the Love Actually one that dances and says fack "
You may be in luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"In recent weeks we have had two regular forumites go public with face photos after a long time keeping them private. (I won't embarrass them by naming them here but they may end up posting here.) Is this a trend or just a coincidence? Is the perceived stigma of being on a site for swingers declining?
I can't see us going public although we're happy to share face photos privately with people we trust. Are there Fabbers out there on the fence about going public? What might tip you in that direction? Or did something happen leading you to choose to go public? Have you gone public and then gone private?
All thoughts and experiences about showing the Fab world your face and becoming recognisable gratefully received. "
I don’t put our faces public (just friends pics or through messages) ... I don’t think I’ll ever put more than a cheek or and eye on if it’s not pixelated ... I think for aaaaages about a pic that shows my tattoos even lol
x |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
As I pointed out then.... I'd have more money if that were the case.
People said that on FB though?? I hope you blocked em xx
Makes you wonder what tragic little lives they had if they made an effort so contact you like that. What afterwards? Did they sit there feeling all self righteous "
Probably. Delightful souls. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
Surely to have seen you they have to be on here themselves so it's a bit rich to call you anything! "
Turns out one of the men was on here, he told his sister..... and a coven of witches sent me abuse.
Bless their little cotton socks. |
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"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
"
WTF? So sorry about that. Utter bastards! X |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
" I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
Weird, as you don't look like a rugby player to me"
That's what someone else said!
Oh God.... did you hear the rumour too? |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
WTF? So sorry about that. Utter bastards! X"
It's all good. My revenge on him is the friends and connections I've made here, and the witches from Facebook aren't even worth worrying about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think if I was single, I'd be more open to showing my face publicly. Being a couple, privacy is key for us and if someone recognised us, you can't be sure what they would do with the information. Safety also comes into it too, as we all know there are a lot of people who are not genuine who have accounts  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think if I was single, I'd be more open to showing my face publicly. Being a couple, privacy is key for us and if someone recognised us, you can't be sure what they would do with the information. Safety also comes into it too, as we all know there are a lot of people who are not genuine who have accounts "
Why would privacy be less of an issue if you were single? |
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We did it by accident, didn’t realise for about 12 hours. Nothing bad happened so we kept them up.
Only once has someone tried to make something of it. So Kitty told her mum about it all. As that was who he was threatening to tell and now we’re a lot freer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think if I was single, I'd be more open to showing my face publicly. Being a couple, privacy is key for us and if someone recognised us, you can't be sure what they would do with the information. Safety also comes into it too, as we all know there are a lot of people who are not genuine who have accounts
Why would privacy be less of an issue if you were single?"
Because its a lot easier to be free when your single, when your in a relationship you don't need the whole world knowing what you get up to in the bedroom. Privacy is always an issue to an extent, I'd just care less if I was single. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
Unfortunately my job may be at risk if I was 'outed' and living in a small area means that would be very likely. So even my tattoos get blurred - which is a shame as I paid good money for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
WTF? So sorry about that. Utter bastards! X
It's all good. My revenge on him is the friends and connections I've made here, and the witches from Facebook aren't even worth worrying about."
I actually felt my stomach turn when I read this. I don’t understand their judgment and cruelty in this day and age. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I didn't used to have face pics but a series of events such as my boss messaging me saying fancy you being on here, plenty of people replying to my face pic with oh I recognise you from your work and some arsehole screenshot ting my profile and sending it to my mum left me like whatever mmay as well just be open and upfront and that way no one has the ability to try shame me or hole it over my head, it's all on my terms "
What? What? What was the point of showing you mum? What sense of satisfaction do these people gain from this?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve had quite a few people say they’ve seen me on here.
I look at them and think “yeah, I can see why you don’t show your face” "
. I can see your delivery of that retort as well.
I don’t show my mug to spare you lot but mostly to spare my son any teasing in school.
When he’s old enough, I would tell him about it and then it wouldn’t bother me in the least who sees me here. |
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I've been on here on and off for a few years and I've always had face pics. So far, touch wood, I've never been kinda 'exposed'.. Pardon the pun..
I think it's incredibly sad that here we are in 2021 people are judged for simply enjoying sex..  |
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"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
Surely to have seen you they have to be on here themselves so it's a bit rich to call you anything!
Turns out one of the men was on here, he told his sister..... and a coven of witches sent me abuse.
Bless their little cotton socks."
Did she give her brother abuse too or is it only women that deserve that for being on here? People! |
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"I've been on here on and off for a few years and I've always had face pics. So far, touch wood, I've never been kinda 'exposed'.. Pardon the pun..
I think it's incredibly sad that here we are in 2021 people are judged for simply enjoying sex.. "
I (Luke) entirely agree with you. It doesn'tmake sense. People are open about being on dating sites. It's perfectly normal to seek and enjoy sex. It seems that there are some people who can't handle others overtly putting themselves out there to find sex in a form that suits them.
I think also that people still think it's deviant to have multiple lovers. One is fine. More is OMG territory. More than one in one go blows people's minds, especially when it's a conventional relationship bringing others into their sex life. It's odd in a society that has become more accepting of non-traditional sexuality and man/woman relationships. Society will catch up to some extent.
I suspect that there would be a lot less judgement than we fear, but even one expression of judgement is too much so we just keep anonymous. We are completely open about it with select vanilla people, but putting it out there to non-select people brings possible repercussions we just don't need. |
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I wouldn't just because of being recognised. I've had messages from men who said they've seen me just by my public pictures, close to my home.
Damn you ginger genes, which I why if I get hassle I only have B&W on public pictures.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't used to have face pics but a series of events such as my boss messaging me saying fancy you being on here, plenty of people replying to my face pic with oh I recognise you from your work and some arsehole screenshot ting my profile and sending it to my mum left me like whatever mmay as well just be open and upfront and that way no one has the ability to try shame me or hole it over my head, it's all on my terms
What? What? What was the point of showing you mum? What sense of satisfaction do these people gain from this??"
I think it was some kind of revenge for me not wishing to meet with him, I blocked him on here so he found me on Instagram and started hassling me there so I blocked him and he started reacting to all my public Facebook posts and messaging me on messanger so I blocked him there and he decided his best course of action was to let my mum kniw what a bad girl I am... Jokes on him tho because anyone who's ever met me knows I'm not one for following the beaten path, I make my own rules and do things my way lol, my mum is well awair and long suffering of the fact ill never be 'normal' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I struck it rich and no longer needed to work for a living you'd all be graced with my troglodyte mug "
Troglodyte. Love it . You're not that ugly my friend.. he he he.
Only joking. It's been a while . Hope to catch up with you again at one of the social events when we are allowed  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
WTF? So sorry about that. Utter bastards! X
It's all good. My revenge on him is the friends and connections I've made here, and the witches from Facebook aren't even worth worrying about.
I actually felt my stomach turn when I read this. I don’t understand their judgment and cruelty in this day and age."
Because people are judgemental arseholes.
Especially in small towns.
(Exceptions apply) |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I got dared to do it and decided to hell with my tiny town and all the gossips.
Kinda backfired a bit but honestly I'm past caring at this point.
Would you tell us anything about the backfire?
34 messages from silhouettes, cocks and a bum saying they know me (with my real name) and messages on Facebook calling me a slag.
Meh. I had worse when my ex spread the rumour I am a hooker.
Surely to have seen you they have to be on here themselves so it's a bit rich to call you anything!
Turns out one of the men was on here, he told his sister..... and a coven of witches sent me abuse.
Bless their little cotton socks.
Did she give her brother abuse too or is it only women that deserve that for being on here? People! "
Only women. Obviously. He is clearly a stud. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"If I struck it rich and no longer needed to work for a living you'd all be graced with my troglodyte mug
Troglodyte. Love it . You're not that ugly my friend.. he he he.
Only joking. It's been a while . Hope to catch up with you again at one of the social events when we are allowed "
Hopefully a club as well. I so miss those! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I struck it rich and no longer needed to work for a living you'd all be graced with my troglodyte mug
Troglodyte. Love it . You're not that ugly my friend.. he he he.
Only joking. It's been a while . Hope to catch up with you again at one of the social events when we are allowed
Hopefully a club as well. I so miss those! "
Definitely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lu is less bothered than I am. I don’t mind people seeing me. Tbh I’m pretty distinctive. Face or not. But we’ve had a couple of people message recently using my actual name. By which I mean surname. No idea who they are from their profiles but clearly they know me.
And it’s pretty intrusive.
J |
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Its no great secret that we are swingers and we're not shy about it. But the face picture for us is a need to know basis. It's just sensible. There's enough on our profile to work out if there's a basic attraction. Our lovely mugs will follow once we start getting to know people. Its not like we use fab to pull anyway (we prefer to do this in a live setting). |
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