Remember a female news reader who the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and hadn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?"
mrs slocombes pussy was another, have you got any, guessing the carry on films had the most ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This week on five live Colin Murray delivered a hot dog to the female presenter. He said I'm off now, she replied I'm going commentate with a sausage in my mouth. After 5 mins of all laughing she finally got it together again. |
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By *aldybiMan
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
Pearl has to go now to meet her Russian Gentleman friend for drinks and nibbles at his penthouse.
She tells me that he's offered to ply her with canapes and liquor out on the balcony...
Thanks to Chairman Humph...  |
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I was working at a large head office type building. The meeting rooms were on the ground floor and the restaurant was on the 3rd floor.
One of the ladies in the group turned to two guys who were visiting the building and said "It's roast day today if you two guys want to come upstairs with me"
I nearly snotted my drink through my nose. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was working at a large head office type building. The meeting rooms were on the ground floor and the restaurant was on the 3rd floor.
One of the ladies in the group turned to two guys who were visiting the building and said "It's roast day today if you two guys want to come upstairs with me"
I nearly snotted my drink through my nose."
.
You have a filthy mind, that's all!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mate is a bugger with innuendo and double entendre. A night out with him is like being on the set of a Carry On film !
He did the door on a gig the other week and the guy rang him afterwards and said 'the girl on the bar loved you and all your double entendres'
The reply was 'I don't know what she's talking about, I mean I know I might 'SLIP ONE IN every now and then but ....'
See what I have to put up with ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rich Hall tells of the sign on a bar in the midwest which reads...
Liquor in the front
Poker in the rear."
He also told another of his Nan being struck by lightning on the golf course.
She was struck between the first and second holes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reminds me of a joke I first heard at school when I was about 14, which took me years before the penny dropped...
Two nuns sitting in a bath. One says to the other..
"Where's the soap?"
The other nun replied...
"Yes it does rather, doesn't it"
And another...... somewhat old but a good history lesson..
Two debutantes comparing note on boyfriends.
Deb 1:"I hear your new boyfriend Giles is in the Army"
Deb 2:"Why yes! East African Rifles actually darling."
Deb 1:"Really? I thought they were all black...??"
Deb 2:"Only the Privates"
Deb 1:"..... how bohemian....." 
 |
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I was in nando's with callum and his then girlfriend, stood up get the drinks and asked them if they wanted normal cock or diet. Imy son just looked at me and his girlfriend was tittering away to hersellf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson
lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
"Some weeks Nick likes to use
Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:
"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters:
"Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World
Superbike racing:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he
wished he had a hard on now."
(All courtesy of google!!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cricket commentator
The batsman Holding the bowlers Willie It was a real match."
This is untrue - Michael Holding was the bowler and Peter Willey the batsman. Get your facts right lol!!
This reminded me of Pedants Corner in Viz, which also featured the King of this genre. Finbarr Saunders and his Doulbe Entendres. Fnarr, Fnarr. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cricket commentator
The batsman Holding the bowlers Willie It was a real match.
This is untrue - Michael Holding was the bowler and Peter Willey the batsman. Get your facts right lol!!
This reminded me of Pedants Corner in Viz, which also featured the King of this genre. Finbarr Saunders and his Doulbe Entendres. Fnarr, Fnarr."
Ill have to check that out?lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They seem to be more and more a thing of the past. humour has gone down political directions for many so double entendres seem to be far less common than 40 years ago. |
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i think its simply because as a nation we openly use swear words and are crude so no need for double entendres
where as 40 years ago it was seen as risque like the seaside postcards, mind you i love those
i still use them now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"i think its simply because as a nation we openly use swear words and are crude so no need for double entendres
where as 40 years ago it was seen as risque like the seaside postcards, mind you i love those
i still use them now "
I tend to prefer comedy of the 60's and 70's as it was more honest in its delivery, there were no pc issues and clever use of words were common place. The intelligence in humour is lacking these days in the main. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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... and the joke that got Max Miller banned from the BBC...
" Ere lady! I went on holiday. I went on holiday to Switzerland. And I was going round one of the them narrow mountain paths, when this rather nice lady came down the path towards me. So I looks to my right and all I see was mountain. I looks to me left and all I see is a 1000 foot drop..
So what do I do? Block her passage or toss meself off?
Now there's a funny thing....."
and Max never appeared on the BBC again......
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