FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Totally abhorrent or totally valid to ask...
Totally abhorrent or totally valid to ask...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This may be a controversial one but what are peoples views on asking others if they get tested regualrly?
If you’re chatting to someone, it’s going well and you both want to meet is it a fair question to ask? If they mainly play BB but they’re happy to play safe it can still be something to consider.
I was just wondering what peoples views are and how people navigate this. |
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Ask away. We wouldn’t be offended. Bear in mind though that unless you see proof, you’re probably not going to know if they’re telling you the truth if they say yes.
Personally if we asked and someone got offended then we wouldn’t want to play with them. Their offence is not our problem. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You can ask all you like, doesn't mean they will tell you the truth. Only play with people you feel you can trust  "
That is really true, I guess I was wondering if people would take offense to being asked. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ask away. We wouldn’t be offended. Bear in mind though that unless you see proof, you’re probably not going to know if they’re telling you the truth if they say yes.
Personally if we asked and someone got offended then we wouldn’t want to play with them. Their offence is not our problem. "
It is telling if they get offended in my opinion. I just seem to be seeing a lot of people who have no regard for health safety. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can ask all you like, doesn't mean they will tell you the truth. Only play with people you feel you can trust
That is really true, I guess I was wondering if people would take offense to being asked. "
It's a perfectly reasonable question to ask. Your safety is the most important thing. If they did get offended, they might not be the right playmates for you. |
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"This may be a controversial one but what are peoples views on asking others if they get tested regualrly?
If you’re chatting to someone, it’s going well and you both want to meet is it a fair question to ask? If they mainly play BB but they’re happy to play safe it can still be something to consider.
I was just wondering what peoples views are and how people navigate this. "
It is ok to ask, but I don’t ask unless it is a regular situation. I haven’t found anyone who was offended
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Not controversial at all! I know pretty much everything before I’d even meet someone. Including inside leg measurement and whether they like pineapple on pizza or if they clap when the plane lands! Don’t like my interrogations, move on!  |
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"You can ask all you like, doesn't mean they will tell you the truth. Only play with people you feel you can trust
That is really true, I guess I was wondering if people would take offense to being asked. "
Not at all. We are all adults. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
We are happy to share the results of our tests, but ultimately it is your responsibility to look after yourself which includes looking out for any red flags that people may display when asked about testing.
I did have to point out to someone that it would be easy to forge the text messages you get giving your results if all they wanted was a screenshot of that as proof. |
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"Ask.
Also ask how they usually swing
I normally swing left, you? "
If you turn your left foot in a bit.. Make sure your hips are square and your thumb is over the grip that should sort it for you... |
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"You can ask all you like, doesn't mean they will tell you the truth. Only play with people you feel you can trust
That is really true, I guess I was wondering if people would take offense to being asked.
It's a perfectly reasonable question to ask. Your safety is the most important thing. If they did get offended, they might not be the right playmates for you."
Agree. I got asked as the lady of the couple wanted to perform oral. They were new and nervous. It’s easier to just show the evidence, etc |
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"This may be a controversial one but what are peoples views on asking others if they get tested regualrly?
If you’re chatting to someone, it’s going well and you both want to meet is it a fair question to ask? If they mainly play BB but they’re happy to play safe it can still be something to consider.
I was just wondering what peoples views are and how people navigate this. "
Depends on how you ask I guess |
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"Ask.
Also ask how they usually swing
I normally swing left, you?
If you turn your left foot in a bit.. Make sure your hips are square and your thumb is over the grip that should sort it for you... "
Who said anything about needing to be sorted? |
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We always ask the last person we met. We showed each other our phones with the text message from the clinic to show it was a recent test.
I've no worries about being asked or ask about their status. And would do the exact same thing even from someone not on here. Most of my non swinging friends have or are far more promiscuous than we are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This may be a controversial one but what are peoples views on asking others if they get tested regualrly?
If you’re chatting to someone, it’s going well and you both want to meet is it a fair question to ask? If they mainly play BB but they’re happy to play safe it can still be something to consider.
I was just wondering what peoples views are and how people navigate this. "
I always ask and am completely upfront about mine and will happily prove mine.
However people lie and even use other people's screenshots of test results. So it's best to do it in person and see the actual test results in their phone. Though some won't like that.
Reagrdless of condoms and BB you can still catch things with condoms on. |
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"This may be a controversial one but what are peoples views on asking others if they get tested regualrly?
If you’re chatting to someone, it’s going well and you both want to meet is it a fair question to ask? If they mainly play BB but they’re happy to play safe it can still be something to consider.
I was just wondering what peoples views are and how people navigate this. "
It is a very fair question to ask BUT........ 1. Do you NEED to ask ? 2. Be CAREFUL how you ask if you do ask.
The onus is on YOU to protect yourself.
You have no way of knowing if they are telling you the truth.
If they are the most truthful people on the planet and were tested on Monday A.M. they could be infected by Monday P.M. and not know it so wouldn't be lying if a couple of weeks down the line they told you they are clean.
Getting tested every single day is NO guarantee of anything.
Why ask.
Just say ..... I get tested regularly.
Then make sure you take as many precautions as you need to to keep THEM safe as well as yourself. |
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In short......
YOU getting tested is for YOU.
If your meet is clean or not YOU still need to be tested regularly.
Stop looking at others. Just keep getting tested.
People seem to make their own headaches and work. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In short......
YOU getting tested is for YOU.
If your meet is clean or not YOU still need to be tested regularly.
Stop looking at others. Just keep getting tested.
People seem to make their own headaches and work. "
I find it hard to agree with you unless I am misunderstanding what you mean.
It sounds as if you’re saying I don’t want to get tested and therefore look at others to ensure my own health is okay. If that is your take, then you have misunderstood what I am asking.
I get tested regularly and I would only ask someone if a meet was definitely going ahead. It is not enough to just worry about yourself however some people take offence when you ask them.
As a lot of the replies show people are willing to be asked and to show proof which is reassuring. |
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