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What the actual .... ??
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ? |
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"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ? "
Keyboard warrior, bottled it, definitely married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Doesn't sound good tbh. Don't chase him, if he wants to meet you I'd let him make some grovelling apologies before I'd let him.
How did he know you'd come back on if he deleted his profile?
It all sounds a bit odd  xx |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ?
Keyboard warrior, bottled it, definitely married."
Seems so ..... idiot ! X |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Doesn't sound good tbh. Don't chase him, if he wants to meet you I'd let him make some grovelling apologies before I'd let him.
How did he know you'd come back on if he deleted his profile?
It all sounds a bit odd xx "
He’s prob set another profile up by now, but yes, would only know I had logged on if he did lol
I won’t be meeting him even if he does grovel ALOT .... x |
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What a waste of your time and energy.
Just because you plan to meet someone doesn't mean you can't be on fab!
That's just lame on his part unless, he was under the impression you wouldn't be on here.
Sure we can all change our minds but there's ways to go about it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doesn't sound good tbh. Don't chase him, if he wants to meet you I'd let him make some grovelling apologies before I'd let him.
How did he know you'd come back on if he deleted his profile?
It all sounds a bit odd xx
He’s prob set another profile up by now, but yes, would only know I had logged on if he did lol
I won’t be meeting him even if he does grovel ALOT .... x"
Good for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ? "
You are not alone! I know this feeling all to well, hope your ok. Here if you want to exchange story’s and vent haha there seems to be a lot of selfish time wasters on this site, raising my glass of wine with you! Xx Natalie |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
Sounds like he's thrown his toys out, cos you logged on
He had to have logged on too, to see that.
Sounds v immature, you hadn't even met and hadn't promised to be exclusive.
If he comes back on and gets in touch, I'd decline. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve had people have a go because I’ve logged on, posted pics and not looked at messages.
My time on here is my own, and I won’t run my profile according to others, I run it as I wish, and if that means not checking messages and then posting pics or on the forum, so be it!
Bullet dodged I would say! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ? "
What an idiot! |
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By *indergirlWoman
over a year ago
somewhere, someplace |
"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ? "
Nope it's happened to me on far too many occasions I care to mention on here and other sites, all seems fine then radio silence. Guess I met the need at the time and now I don't who knows. Do I let it get to me, I used to but not now, line under and move on. |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"What a waste of your time and energy.
Just because you plan to meet someone doesn't mean you can't be on fab!
That's just lame on his part unless, he was under the impression you wouldn't be on here.
Sure we can all change our minds but there's ways to go about it."
I think he was on the wrong site .... it’s quite clear what I’m looking for ... and not looking for but just got a sense of ‘ownership’ and possessiveness.... red flags x |
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Ugh. I know we all have our insecure moments and I'm happy to reassure someone if they have a wobble but I won't deal with possessiveness like that. Especially when we meet on here for God's sake. Surely we all know where we stand? |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
Well it seems this is quite a common thing, thank you all for the understanding and supportive contributions. I agree, a bullet had definitely been dodged and i won’t be losing any sleep over it.
Whether married, a fantasist or just nuts .... I will continue my search lol
X |
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It's fantastic when clear signals are given before any further investment of energy is given to a person who is unsuitable. There will always be some dead ends that we reach, after exploring and having had some dreams ended.
There are more unsuitable people out there than those who are great for us. Some of them may be right at a different point in our life but the moment we know they're not right just now, it's better to bail. |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"It's fantastic when clear signals are given before any further investment of energy is given to a person who is unsuitable. There will always be some dead ends that we reach, after exploring and having had some dreams ended.
There are more unsuitable people out there than those who are great for us. Some of them may be right at a different point in our life but the moment we know they're not right just now, it's better to bail. "
Very wise words  |
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Sounds like him and his missus' sex life is on and off when it's off he turns to you and when it's on he gives you the cold shoulder
Like it's upto you how you live your life but don't suffer fools lightly pretty you can find someone else that appreciates you |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Sounds like him and his missus' sex life is on and off when it's off he turns to you and when it's on he gives you the cold shoulder
Like it's upto you how you live your life but don't suffer fools lightly pretty you can find someone else that appreciates you"
Yes absolutely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Did he understand what a FWB is? I may have grossly misunderstood its meaning if it means the lady has made me a commitment to be monogamous, apart from the fact that logging in here doesn’t mean you’re ‘searching’ for anyone.
Perhaps he was starting to like you a little too much and knew you wouldn’t reciprocate. I’ve never had a FWB situation but I must admit, I’d be afraid of being hurt that way.
Just saying.  |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Did he understand what a FWB is? I may have grossly misunderstood its meaning if it means the lady has made me a commitment to be monogamous, apart from the fact that logging in here doesn’t mean you’re ‘searching’ for anyone.
Perhaps he was starting to like you a little too much and knew you wouldn’t reciprocate. I’ve never had a FWB situation but I must admit, I’d be afraid of being hurt that way.
Just saying. "
If he wasn’t sure about the meaning of a FWB, my profile is quite clear about what I am looking for. I personally think that ‘he’ was looking for something else and more regardless of what I had stated I wanted and he, at some point, realised that. Appreciate your point of view x |
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I think everyone experiences that at some point. We certainly have more than once.
Good in the sense you've swerved someone that clearly doesn't have the same values as you but definitely very frustrating!
Feel your pain. Covid has not helped atall but we have found its much easier meeting people in person you can get a feel for them much quicker that way and usually those you meet in person generally are more often genuine or at least you dodge those that never really intend to meet.
X |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
Don’t dwell on it, put it behind you and move on.
I got chatting to someone on another site, it was going really well. She kept telling me about other guys she had met socially and kept getting ghosted every time. I asked her when we were going to arrange meeting up and she said “oh, we are never going to meet up”
That was the end of that.
At the end of the day treat these sites as if nothing is real until you actually meet someone face to face |
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By *-man24Man
over a year ago
northwest |
"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ? "
Think upon it as a lucky escape you could of put more of your precious time into him
and Mr T would say dam fool |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
Good riddance...
I’ve had already established FBs go cold on me because surprise surprise! I actually meet other people! THEY are the ones who always say “no strings, no hassle”, “this is just sex”, but apparently I can only do it with them... 
Agreed. What a waste of time and energy. I just use Fab now to post photos and chat banalities... |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"I think everyone experiences that at some point. We certainly have more than once.
Good in the sense you've swerved someone that clearly doesn't have the same values as you but definitely very frustrating!
Feel your pain. Covid has not helped atall but we have found its much easier meeting people in person you can get a feel for them much quicker that way and usually those you meet in person generally are more often genuine or at least you dodge those that never really intend to meet.
X"
I agree, if it had if progressed I think I would have met him just to test out those red flags, just because you can ‘read’ someone better face to face .... but he probably knew it was never getting to that point anyway .... who knows ?  |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Good riddance...
I’ve had already established FBs go cold on me because surprise surprise! I actually meet other people! THEY are the ones who always say “no strings, no hassle”, “this is just sex”, but apparently I can only do it with them...
Agreed. What a waste of time and energy. I just use Fab now to post photos and chat banalities... "
Yes this exactly ... even in vanilla land a lot of people in general cannot understand the single by choice concept ..... the word single seems to mean ‘alone and looking’ lol |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ?
Think upon it as a lucky escape you could of put more of your precious time into him
and Mr T would say dam fool "
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"Apologies ... grab a cuppa and a biscuit lol
Been chatting to a potential FWB ( all I’m looking for) for a couple of months. Hid my profile during this time as everything was looking good. I have logged in a handful of times out of boredom after a late shift at work etc but not chatted with anyone else. Last Saturday we arranged to meet up tonight socially for a drink to see if we clicked. Then, Tuesday out of the blue and after one of those log ins, he messaged me saying that he had deleted his profile as this site ‘wasn’t for him’ he had seen that I had logged in here and was still using the site right after we had arranged to meet up. He wished me luck and hoped I found what I was looking for on here ... !
What followed was a pretty pointless conversation basically him saying he wasn’t giving me the brush off, he didn’t say he wouldn’t meet me ( well thank you VM mr Ego) and I should have a glass of wine!
Next morning it was like that pointless conversation didn’t happen and was sweet as pie.
He suggested a phone call before we meet yesterday .... I’d message him when I was free to chat ....
that’s it. Nothing, nana, zilch .......
message unread (or more than likely blocked) don’t get me wrong I’m not heartbroken ..... my ex was an utter psycho and red flags did pop up anyway but Christ what a waste of bloody energy!
I can’t be alone in this sort of thing surely ?
Think upon it as a lucky escape you could of put more of your precious time into him
and Mr T would say dam fool "
It was definitely one I’m glad I dodged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he understand what a FWB is? I may have grossly misunderstood its meaning if it means the lady has made me a commitment to be monogamous, apart from the fact that logging in here doesn’t mean you’re ‘searching’ for anyone.
Perhaps he was starting to like you a little too much and knew you wouldn’t reciprocate. I’ve never had a FWB situation but I must admit, I’d be afraid of being hurt that way.
Just saying.
If he wasn’t sure about the meaning of a FWB, my profile is quite clear about what I am looking for. I personally think that ‘he’ was looking for something else and more regardless of what I had stated I wanted and he, at some point, realised that. Appreciate your point of view x"
Absolutely, you’re very clear about what you’re looking for. I meant that perhaps he hadn’t quite bargained on liking you as much as he did and decided to back off to avoid an emotional mess of his own making.
I really don’t know what I’m talking about, having no experience of any of this. I have come to realise that I probably couldn’t have a FWB relationship. Perhaps he was the same. It may not necessarily have been a horrid thing for him to have disappeared. |
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"He just changed his mind....move on"
Much as I hate to say this, I get the feeling that this statement above would be exactly what was posted if it had been a man making the initial post about a woman suddenly going off on a rant and then AWOL |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He just changed his mind....move on
Much as I hate to say this, I get the feeling that this statement above would be exactly what was posted if it had been a man making the initial post about a woman suddenly going off on a rant and then AWOL "
Thats why I said it |
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"He just changed his mind....move on
Much as I hate to say this, I get the feeling that this statement above would be exactly what was posted if it had been a man making the initial post about a woman suddenly going off on a rant and then AWOL
Thats why I said it"
Fair enough. Point taken |
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By *ilks xXx OP Woman
over a year ago
East Mids |
"He just changed his mind....move on
Much as I hate to say this, I get the feeling that this statement above would be exactly what was posted if it had been a man making the initial post about a woman suddenly going off on a rant and then AWOL
Thats why I said it
Fair enough. Point taken "
Yes I take that point .... I’ve moved on, no issue .....  |
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I thought so 